Feb. 27, 2025

Breaking Barriers: The Real Pageant Journey w/ Mrs. Utah County

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Breaking Barriers: The Real Pageant Journey w/ Mrs. Utah County

Breaking Barriers: The Real Pageant Journey  

Join Amanda McCombs and her guest, Mrs. Utah County, as they dive into the intricacies of participating in beauty pageants and the profound personal growth that accompanies the journey. They discuss their individual experiences, the importance of community, empowering sisterhood, and how the challenges they face shape their resilience. Through candid conversations, they explore topics such as facing personal lows, the significance of genuine connections, and the role of pageantry in self-discovery and personal development. This episode sheds light on the transformative impact these pageants have beyond the glitz and glamour, focusing on authenticity, support systems, and building lasting legacies.  

00:00 Introduction to Amanda McCombs

00:12 Meet Mrs. Utah County

00:29 The Power of Sisterhood

01:26 Amanda's Personal Journey

03:06 The Pageant Experience

04:20 Community and Empowerment

05:56 Finding Genuine Connections

07:56 Overcoming Personal Struggles

10:29 The Pageant System's Impact

14:41 Starting the Pageant Journey

19:17 The First Pageant Experience

25:25 The Importance of Platforms

27:21 Struggles and Changes

28:53 Hiding Pain and Seeking Help

30:55 Legacy and Life Choices

32:29 Pageantry and Personal Growth

35:02 The Importance of Authenticity

47:44 Mentorship and Giving Back

54:31 Reflections and Future Plans

1
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Welcome.

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To the inner workings of
the not so genius mind.

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I'm Amanda McCombs, the not so genius.

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You're Mrs. Daybreak and I
have with me Mrs. Utah County.

5
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Oh my gosh.

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I'm looking at all of your sashes.

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Look at you.

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Oh, my lot of work.

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Beautiful.

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Holy smokes with your headshot up above.

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Anyway, she is my sash sister.

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I'm introducing you.

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My sash sister in the business
of people running a family

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business with her husband, man.

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And was it you that wrote.

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That cookbook with your daughters?

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Yes.

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We'll talk about that more.

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And she's a mom of three amazing girls.

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We were just talking
about your youngest is 10.

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Yeah.

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Ballroom and hip hop dance fanatic.

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Like you like to dance them.

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Yeah, and I teach them help.

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Help a girl out, please.

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The last one you said,
you're my biggest fan.

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I love you so much, Clarissa.

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So happy to,

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so, so happy to be here with you.

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I mean already, Amanda, your journey from,
it's been what we've known each other

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for a little over a year and a half, and
like your journey has been inspiring and

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very, very visual to me that there is
proof people can change and proof that.

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What we go through can either destroy
us or refine us and make us stronger and

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better like you are living proof of that.

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Yeah.

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I think

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you probably met me when I was
at one of my lowest of lows

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because, um, Jess.

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Is the one that invited me to
do the pageant and she had no

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idea what I was going through.

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Like nobody did.

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I was really good at hiding it
like a lot of us are, right?

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Yeah.

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Serious, real.

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Um, but we just had that workshop.

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When was it?

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Uh, it wasn't even a workshop.

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It was the favorite thanks
Christmas party, I think.

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And you left me that message
and afterwards I was like.

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Nobody has ever talked to me like that.

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I've never had a community of women where
I've just felt like I could be safe.

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Right.

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So like, we're, we're like, not, we're
two, two minutes in and I'm crying.

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Um, you're just, you're
so incredible to me.

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And you've just been an amazing example
and I've never, the whole time I've been.

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Doing this pageant thing like
this is my second year and now

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I'm looking, is it your fourth?

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It's my fourth.

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And so like people are, people
are so surprised that women keep

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coming back, but we keep coming back
because of the relationships we have.

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We come back because of the sisterhood
and because it helps lift each other up.

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Yeah, I, I know of no other
organization that I have been aware of.

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I mean, I'm sure there are things
like this in other sectors, but like

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you will never find women who are
working on themselves, working in the

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community to make it better and cheering
each other on within that realm.

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Yeah.

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Right.

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It's never

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been me against you.

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It's like, wow.

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Look at how amazing you are.

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Look at how amazing you are.

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What can I do to help you?

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Um, we're sharing dresses, wardrobe,
whatever, um, tips and tricks.

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Like, nothing's a secret.

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We're not keeping anything hidden.

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It's not, we're helping each other.

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Like it's a true vision
of empowerment, right?

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Yeah.

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You know, and that's not,
it's not the April 25th stuff.

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Right.

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But to a certain extent, it kind of is.

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You have to extrapolate that
out because it is, mm-hmm.

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That is what we want, but we
recognize that it has to be done.

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Uh, through little pieces, not, not
the full spectrum of world peace, but

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like each individual woman recognizes
that that's what she wants overall.

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Yeah.

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But her portion is her purpose in
that period of time, in that small

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bubble that she has influence over.

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Yeah.

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Well, and we, every single woman
I've met in this pageant, they

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all just have incredible stories.

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To share and they're
all driven to do good.

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Whatever good it is.

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And I think some of us, some of
us, like last year I was like, oh

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my gosh, deer in the headlights.

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I didn't realize what I had really
signed up for until like it's over.

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It was over.

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And then I was, and then
I was like, oh my gosh.

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It goes on to Mrs. America.

101
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You make prizes.

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I didn't even think
about winning anything.

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Like my thought going
into it was not winning.

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It was, what the heck is this?

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Yeah.

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And long for the ride and it was healing.

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We need that.

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I agree to that.

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Yeah.

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And I talked, I was talking with
somebody El a friend yesterday.

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I got invited to Zumba.

112
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And I was like, yeah,
sure, I'll go to Zumba.

113
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I haven't done it in years.

114
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And then she was like,
oh, it's at a church.

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And I was like, 'cause
I don't go to church.

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Right.

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Um, I have a very strenuous relationship
with like church buildings and very

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worried that I walk in and they're gonna
like burst into flames because of me.

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Um, but I went in and everyone
was so like welcoming.

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I cried to her afterwards because
we, we've lost our villages.

121
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I think that's one of

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the reasons why I teach hip
hop, because that is community.

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Yeah.

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When we, and, and I have ladies who can't
even speak English, who come into my

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class, and it truly is that dance is this.

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This universal language that empowers
us because we are mastering control

127
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over this individual that we have.

128
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We have to practice letting
go in order to fully feel the

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music and feel those moves and.

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I have to laugh because I teach,
one of my classes is actually at

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a church, but it's free and it's
community and anybody can come.

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That's just the medium in
which we're able to do that.

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But you'll never find a, a more
amazing group of ladies, right, than

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those who go to that community to
make friends and to welcome others.

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Well,

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I walked

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in and I was a little
worried just 'cause, um.

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I have a hard time.

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Sorry, I'm gonna cry again.

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You're good.

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You're good, Amanda.

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I have a hard time knowing

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if somebody genuinely wants
to be my friend because yeah.

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I've been so hurt in the past.

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I've had people that have totally betrayed
me and pretended to be my friend and.

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I was alone for a long time.

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I didn't have a sisterhood.

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And when I moved into my new community, it
was during Covid, like right before Covid.

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It was 2019.

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And that's hard happened.

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And it's hard for me to make
friends 'cause people are scary.

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And I don't know if I'm like actually
for real being invited or they

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really want me being there because
I've been told I'm too much or.

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Whatever.

155
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Right, right.

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So you come up against the barrier
of, will I be accepted for who I am?

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And I kind of, this pageant kind of,

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and I think I, I, when I
said it to you is how I was

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kind of figuring out how to say it right?

160
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'cause I was so broken.

161
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All your broken and shattered pieces
are all over the floor, right?

162
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And then super quiet.

163
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I love it.

164
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No back.

165
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Not that

166
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all your broken pieces are all over the
floor, and you have to even figure out

167
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what they mean and if you even want them
before you can put 'em back together.

168
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And I like, I didn't, I didn't even know.

169
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What my favorite food was.

170
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I'm like trying to think of ques,
like the different questions

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and like just basic things.

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Tell me about yourself.

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That's like one of the first pageant
questions that they ask you when you

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interview and it, and you only have so
much time and you can't just be like it.

175
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Like you have to know who you are and
you have to be like, this is who I am

176
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and it's okay if people don't like me.

177
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And this pageant like taught me
that I could, like, it grounded me

178
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so that I'm like more aligned with
my own purpose and I'm not thinking

179
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about what everybody else thinks
about me, because that's exhausting.

180
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We can't do that because all,
all of this isn't for them.

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It's for me.

182
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Right.

183
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Yeah.

184
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Yeah, I think that, um, what I
have noticed, because it's been

185
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multiple years for me, is to choose
to accept the new me every time.

186
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Yeah.

187
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Because each one of these years I can look
back and things have been so different.

188
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And so if I, if I was still
the person from the first year,

189
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uh, there would be issues.

190
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Yeah.

191
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Right.

192
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And I think you recognize that now.

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I mean, when I saw you at that party,
at the favorite things party, it had

194
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been what, like six or seven months
since we had seen each other in person.

195
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And you know, I texted you and I was like,
look, you are, you are totally different.

196
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Still the same, but like there was
something so different about you, so

197
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peaceful, so grounded, so open, secure.

198
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I think that would be a
word that I would use.

199
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Just very self secure.

200
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And you know, if you were still what
you were the first time you signed

201
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up for your first pageant last
year, like then the patent system

202
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or life wouldn't be doing its job.

203
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Yeah.

204
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Yeah.

205
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I wasn't even eating, I was so depressed.

206
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It was right after my mom.

207
00:11:51,856 --> 00:11:52,546
Yeah.

208
00:11:53,521 --> 00:11:57,211
Yeah, like a couple
weeks after her funeral.

209
00:11:58,891 --> 00:11:59,161
Yeah.

210
00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:09,001
And I was like, no way me do a
beauty pageant weirdo, Jess is crazy.

211
00:12:09,751 --> 00:12:11,371
Why would I do a beauty pageant?

212
00:12:11,371 --> 00:12:12,301
And that's insane.

213
00:12:12,571 --> 00:12:15,211
And then I started like
really thinking about it and

214
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was like, sure, why not?

215
00:12:20,101 --> 00:12:21,841
I think there was only
one person that was like.

216
00:12:23,716 --> 00:12:24,376
Are you nuts?

217
00:12:25,936 --> 00:12:35,536
But I just like, I didn't know I, I
needed a community and I needed, Jess

218
00:12:35,536 --> 00:12:37,331
believed in me for some weird reason.

219
00:12:37,701 --> 00:12:38,051
Right.

220
00:12:40,051 --> 00:12:40,541
Hold on.

221
00:12:41,401 --> 00:12:41,621
No,

222
00:12:48,941 --> 00:12:49,161
um.

223
00:12:51,811 --> 00:12:54,451
I just saw her dancing in
a pretty dress on Facebook.

224
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I wanted to see what it was about
and it healed me and I met amazing,

225
00:12:59,791 --> 00:13:06,751
like you just have always been
very self-assured and well-spoken.

226
00:13:08,191 --> 00:13:12,631
And I was so shy because I was so worried
about what everybody thought about me.

227
00:13:12,631 --> 00:13:15,901
So then when people like you are like,
I wanna be your friend, I'm like.

228
00:13:20,956 --> 00:13:25,906
Yeah, it really requires, it requires
you to look at the boundaries that

229
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you placed on yourself for protection.

230
00:13:28,486 --> 00:13:28,666
Yeah.

231
00:13:29,596 --> 00:13:31,396
And learning to like let those go.

232
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So that you can be that genuine self.

233
00:13:34,726 --> 00:13:38,626
Because what I have noticed
is that this pageant system

234
00:13:38,626 --> 00:13:41,146
like requires a genuine self.

235
00:13:41,626 --> 00:13:42,076
Yeah.

236
00:13:42,106 --> 00:13:46,666
You cannot be in it
just to like be pretty.

237
00:13:48,226 --> 00:13:48,586
Yeah.

238
00:13:48,586 --> 00:13:52,816
Well, and, and I don't know about other
systems, but from what I have seen

239
00:13:52,816 --> 00:13:58,126
of other systems, you could maybe get
away with not being your genuine self.

240
00:13:59,146 --> 00:13:59,536
Yeah.

241
00:13:59,626 --> 00:14:00,676
But how?

242
00:14:00,946 --> 00:14:04,966
But how the directors of the Mrs.
Utah pageant work, I mean, I haven't

243
00:14:04,966 --> 00:14:09,046
been to nationals, so that's something
so different or worlds or whatever,

244
00:14:09,046 --> 00:14:14,806
but like our directors of this
pageant pull that genuine self out.

245
00:14:17,506 --> 00:14:18,886
We well, and

246
00:14:18,886 --> 00:14:25,486
I love that we can get together and
that we have our community, that we

247
00:14:25,486 --> 00:14:29,026
can be chatting and we can be helping
each other and motivating each other.

248
00:14:29,731 --> 00:14:32,971
Because there's never been, I've
never felt undercut, and I've never

249
00:14:32,971 --> 00:14:35,311
seen anybody undercut anybody else.

250
00:14:35,641 --> 00:14:41,101
It is the most genuine group
of amazing women I've ever met.

251
00:14:41,341 --> 00:14:45,241
So now I wanna back up because
let's go back to year one.

252
00:14:46,171 --> 00:14:50,401
What made you try not, how
did this journey even be?

253
00:14:50,581 --> 00:14:50,761
Oh, man.

254
00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:57,181
Let's see, my middle daughter
is 13 years old when she was

255
00:14:57,181 --> 00:14:59,311
still an infant in her car seat.

256
00:14:59,761 --> 00:15:03,811
We, my husband and I, so I had
one older daughter and then her.

257
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:04,561
Mm-hmm.

258
00:15:05,101 --> 00:15:06,691
And we were up in Ogden.

259
00:15:06,811 --> 00:15:11,941
We had just moved up to Ogden,
um, bought our first home and we

260
00:15:11,941 --> 00:15:16,261
were driving down Main Street in
Ogden and we passed the theater.

261
00:15:16,351 --> 00:15:17,941
I think it's called the Egyptian Theater.

262
00:15:17,941 --> 00:15:18,901
That's up in Ogden.

263
00:15:19,081 --> 00:15:19,381
Oh yeah.

264
00:15:20,666 --> 00:15:26,786
He, it said, Mrs. Utah, you know, June
something I, I, that's all I can remember.

265
00:15:26,966 --> 00:15:28,676
And I have that visual in my head.

266
00:15:28,676 --> 00:15:31,946
And my husband, he looked at me and
he is like, you should do those.

267
00:15:32,246 --> 00:15:33,716
You should do one of those sometime.

268
00:15:34,226 --> 00:15:35,756
And I was like, yeah, right.

269
00:15:36,956 --> 00:15:37,831
Like, okay.

270
00:15:38,731 --> 00:15:39,991
And you know, that's you.

271
00:15:41,426 --> 00:15:41,756
Yeah.

272
00:15:41,756 --> 00:15:46,256
I had kind of thought
about my teenage years and.

273
00:15:47,396 --> 00:15:53,161
Uh, just not quite getting the parental
support for doing anything like that.

274
00:15:53,881 --> 00:15:56,851
Um, I think I, I love my parents.

275
00:15:56,851 --> 00:16:00,901
I have such a great relationship with
them, but they only knew what they

276
00:16:00,901 --> 00:16:03,901
only knew and they were trying to
do their best, and that was just not

277
00:16:03,901 --> 00:16:10,111
something that was in their vision of
what they wanted out of their daughter.

278
00:16:10,471 --> 00:16:11,161
Let's just put it.

279
00:16:13,576 --> 00:16:14,956
And I respect that.

280
00:16:14,956 --> 00:16:19,036
And I know that my girls are probably
gonna have the same feelings about me

281
00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:25,096
when they're, you know, 29, 28, 29, and
they're probably gonna look back and

282
00:16:25,096 --> 00:16:29,716
be like, ah, mom, you know, but I'll be
like, look, at that time, at that period,

283
00:16:30,106 --> 00:16:31,966
these were the decisions that we had made.

284
00:16:31,966 --> 00:16:33,441
I. And that's, that's great.

285
00:16:33,441 --> 00:16:35,601
In parenting, it's all about forgiveness.

286
00:16:35,601 --> 00:16:40,311
I, I tell you, it's all about forgiveness,
but so I had thought, so I had wanted to

287
00:16:40,311 --> 00:16:42,381
do that as a teenager and as a young girl.

288
00:16:42,381 --> 00:16:44,871
I mean, I watched pageants growing up.

289
00:16:44,871 --> 00:16:49,641
I watched Miss America and Miss USA
when they were on tv and, you know, I,

290
00:16:49,791 --> 00:16:53,601
I just love all of that, the dresses
and the glam, and didn't really

291
00:16:53,601 --> 00:16:54,801
know anything about the backend.

292
00:16:54,831 --> 00:17:00,111
Well, fast forward to 2021.

293
00:17:01,291 --> 00:17:10,501
Oh, and I had just finished teaching,
so it had been 10 years since that

294
00:17:10,501 --> 00:17:14,221
conversation that my husband just
planted that seed of like, you

295
00:17:14,221 --> 00:17:15,601
should do one of those someday.

296
00:17:15,751 --> 00:17:16,921
Like very casual.

297
00:17:17,011 --> 00:17:17,401
Yeah.

298
00:17:17,406 --> 00:17:17,506
Yeah.

299
00:17:17,761 --> 00:17:21,391
I had just finished teaching a hip
hop class and I had gone to my car

300
00:17:21,391 --> 00:17:28,141
and I was posting about my class and I
distinctly heard the words in my head.

301
00:17:28,681 --> 00:17:30,121
It's time, it's time.

302
00:17:31,231 --> 00:17:35,071
And I knew exactly what that was.

303
00:17:36,631 --> 00:17:40,501
I knew I had that flash of that
marquee and my husband holding my

304
00:17:40,501 --> 00:17:44,971
hand in that car, in the car seat,
in my peripheral vision in the back,

305
00:17:45,781 --> 00:17:49,291
and I knew exactly what that was for.

306
00:17:49,351 --> 00:17:52,396
So I. That's how it happened.

307
00:17:53,116 --> 00:17:55,726
I didn't know there were
other pageant systems.

308
00:17:55,786 --> 00:17:57,496
I didn't know how that worked.

309
00:17:57,736 --> 00:17:59,506
Like I had no idea.

310
00:17:59,506 --> 00:18:04,246
All I knew was that I had an acquaintance
who had done a pageant the year

311
00:18:04,246 --> 00:18:09,436
before, and she had posted about it,
and so that I contacted her and said.

312
00:18:11,041 --> 00:18:12,181
I need to do this.

313
00:18:12,181 --> 00:18:13,411
Where do I sign up?

314
00:18:13,411 --> 00:18:15,841
And she, you know, was like,
well, you gotta wait a little bit.

315
00:18:15,871 --> 00:18:17,581
Signups don't start until October.

316
00:18:17,581 --> 00:18:20,011
This was probably like June, may, June.

317
00:18:20,611 --> 00:18:20,941
And so.

318
00:18:22,276 --> 00:18:25,246
And, um, you know, in the
meantime, I was on the Mrs.

319
00:18:25,246 --> 00:18:28,066
Utah America page just looking.

320
00:18:28,696 --> 00:18:33,976
I had, I had probably emailed our director
d and was like, Hey, I wanna sign up.

321
00:18:34,276 --> 00:18:35,206
When do I get a start?

322
00:18:35,206 --> 00:18:37,306
Like, I was like, pre ahead of game.

323
00:18:37,306 --> 00:18:40,726
Like I, I felt, I felt like this
was important and I needed to get

324
00:18:40,756 --> 00:18:43,636
it done, but I didn't understand
that whole waiting period anyway.

325
00:18:44,056 --> 00:18:49,396
So that's how I ended up here, was
just the one seed, the one time.

326
00:18:49,996 --> 00:18:58,666
In a suggestion by somebody passing by
that germinated for 10 years before, I

327
00:18:58,666 --> 00:19:04,816
just knew that it was time for me to try
that that season in my life had come.

328
00:19:05,206 --> 00:19:05,686
Right.

329
00:19:06,226 --> 00:19:08,506
And um, I mean the rest is history.

330
00:19:09,046 --> 00:19:10,216
Oh my goodness.

331
00:19:10,426 --> 00:19:12,676
And this history in
the making still Right.

332
00:19:12,676 --> 00:19:13,336
That journey.

333
00:19:14,146 --> 00:19:16,906
Well, and you, you keep
coming back every year.

334
00:19:17,116 --> 00:19:20,716
So the first year when you didn't
win, were you discouraged and like,

335
00:19:21,016 --> 00:19:21,136
man?

336
00:19:22,816 --> 00:19:27,226
Yeah, I was, but it was, every
year has been different in

337
00:19:27,286 --> 00:19:28,846
my growth and my experience.

338
00:19:28,846 --> 00:19:33,526
I mean, the first year, of course, I
was disappointed, but like I made second

339
00:19:33,526 --> 00:19:36,346
runner up my very first pageant ever.

340
00:19:37,096 --> 00:19:37,546
Nice.

341
00:19:37,951 --> 00:19:43,141
So I was kind of like, well, I didn't
win, but like, that's pretty darn good.

342
00:19:44,341 --> 00:19:48,361
Um, I didn't understand
the pageant let down.

343
00:19:48,871 --> 00:19:53,161
So for any of your listeners, when
you do a pageant, there's so much

344
00:19:53,161 --> 00:19:58,831
ramping up to that event that when
it's over and everything is fizzling

345
00:19:58,831 --> 00:20:01,681
out, there is kind of this heavy lull.

346
00:20:02,461 --> 00:20:07,921
In energy, in capacity, in, I mean,
we spend so much time together

347
00:20:07,921 --> 00:20:13,831
and then suddenly it's like an
entity that is dissolved and you're

348
00:20:13,831 --> 00:20:15,811
kind of like these friendships.

349
00:20:15,811 --> 00:20:18,691
If you haven't established
friendships, you kind of lose them.

350
00:20:19,231 --> 00:20:19,291
Yeah.

351
00:20:19,291 --> 00:20:22,471
In this support system and this
structure and this, you know,

352
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:26,041
everything that you're working towards
is for this pinnacle pageant point.

353
00:20:26,911 --> 00:20:28,381
Nobody ever taught me about that.

354
00:20:28,381 --> 00:20:30,991
So post pageant one was.

355
00:20:31,501 --> 00:20:35,701
The letdown was very big because I
didn't understand that and wasn't

356
00:20:35,701 --> 00:20:40,261
prepared for that, but my thoughts
were like, Hey, I did really well.

357
00:20:40,261 --> 00:20:42,091
My first one, let's try again.

358
00:20:42,601 --> 00:20:42,691
Mm-hmm.

359
00:20:43,411 --> 00:20:49,831
Also, within that first year
post pageant, I recognized that

360
00:20:49,831 --> 00:20:50,821
it was a really good thing.

361
00:20:50,821 --> 00:20:55,561
I didn't win because I didn't know
what winning would require of me.

362
00:20:56,821 --> 00:20:58,861
Uh, is was my exact thought.

363
00:20:58,861 --> 00:20:59,431
When I.

364
00:21:01,666 --> 00:21:06,646
I was, it was actually like I was sitting
backstage, like I knew I wasn't gonna win.

365
00:21:09,556 --> 00:21:10,546
Have you seen those ladies?

366
00:21:11,356 --> 00:21:14,176
I went in dear in the headlights idea.

367
00:21:14,746 --> 00:21:15,316
No idea.

368
00:21:15,316 --> 00:21:15,971
Knew what I was doing.

369
00:21:15,971 --> 00:21:15,973
No idea.

370
00:21:16,696 --> 00:21:20,686
I just, I was just kind of there to
like be there and to experience it all.

371
00:21:21,706 --> 00:21:27,226
And I was like closing my eyes
because, you know, I mentally

372
00:21:27,226 --> 00:21:28,876
prepare and then I just like.

373
00:21:31,186 --> 00:21:33,556
Black out, go on stage, come back.

374
00:21:37,606 --> 00:21:39,706
You just gotta, that
is a real thing, right?

375
00:21:39,706 --> 00:21:40,036
Yep.

376
00:21:40,456 --> 00:21:47,176
But I, the crown felt heavy on my
head and I was like, I was like doing

377
00:21:47,176 --> 00:21:48,826
mental whatever, and I was like,

378
00:21:51,196 --> 00:21:53,656
it's not for me this year.

379
00:21:54,376 --> 00:21:55,756
It's not time for me yet.

380
00:21:57,136 --> 00:21:57,796
Um.

381
00:21:58,696 --> 00:21:59,626
I found out later.

382
00:21:59,626 --> 00:22:01,036
Is that peaceful for you?

383
00:22:01,756 --> 00:22:02,146
Yeah.

384
00:22:02,836 --> 00:22:05,746
Well and that was even
before I didn't win.

385
00:22:06,766 --> 00:22:09,766
I was cheering and clapping
for like everything isn't,

386
00:22:09,766 --> 00:22:13,816
there isn't something to be said about
having the knowledge that you're not

387
00:22:13,816 --> 00:22:18,406
gonna win before you hope You learn
that because then when you go on

388
00:22:18,406 --> 00:22:21,171
stage you recognize like, alright.

389
00:22:21,991 --> 00:22:27,301
It's less who is, who am I going to
be and the person that I want to be

390
00:22:27,301 --> 00:22:29,251
and show up for these other ladies?

391
00:22:29,251 --> 00:22:34,681
Like you have that choice way before the
moment of your name not being called.

392
00:22:35,641 --> 00:22:35,971
Yeah.

393
00:22:37,351 --> 00:22:40,996
Well, and I knew, like, I knew my
name wasn't gonna, I. Get called

394
00:22:41,056 --> 00:22:43,276
IBI knew I bombed my interview.

395
00:22:44,566 --> 00:22:48,466
Like I was just KI didn't
even talk about my platform.

396
00:22:48,706 --> 00:22:51,046
Like I was so nervous.

397
00:22:51,136 --> 00:22:56,116
And afterwards, I actually,
like, I'm friends with Robin now,

398
00:22:58,516 --> 00:23:00,826
and she was one of our,
and it's like, oh my gosh.

399
00:23:00,826 --> 00:23:03,676
She was like, Mrs. International
something, something, something.

400
00:23:03,676 --> 00:23:04,486
She's beautiful.

401
00:23:04,486 --> 00:23:07,546
She has a clothing line and there's
like all these other connections that

402
00:23:07,546 --> 00:23:08,806
you get to make and they're like.

403
00:23:09,211 --> 00:23:11,941
They're good, beautiful,
genuine people, and they like

404
00:23:11,941 --> 00:23:14,521
actually wanna be my friends.

405
00:23:14,911 --> 00:23:18,811
They're pretty, and they're nice
and they're not spreading rumors

406
00:23:18,811 --> 00:23:20,521
about me and trying to take me down.

407
00:23:20,611 --> 00:23:22,591
They're like, we're all lifting each other

408
00:23:22,591 --> 00:23:27,361
up every year of judges I've had, I've
been impressed with the majority of them.

409
00:23:27,811 --> 00:23:28,171
Yeah.

410
00:23:28,531 --> 00:23:28,861
Oh yeah.

411
00:23:28,981 --> 00:23:32,491
And follow them and still keep
in touch with some of them.

412
00:23:33,076 --> 00:23:34,636
One or two every year.

413
00:23:35,296 --> 00:23:35,686
Well,

414
00:23:35,686 --> 00:23:36,736
they're incredible.

415
00:23:36,736 --> 00:23:38,926
They, they bring incredible people.

416
00:23:39,136 --> 00:23:43,936
I was looking at, because Mrs.
World is tonight, I'm coming

417
00:23:43,936 --> 00:23:45,166
down to your watch party.

418
00:23:45,196 --> 00:23:46,981
Are you down?

419
00:23:47,086 --> 00:23:53,476
But I was busy yesterday getting the
not sparkly crowns put in my face.

420
00:23:53,476 --> 00:23:53,686
Oh,

421
00:23:53,896 --> 00:23:55,066
I have those too.

422
00:23:55,186 --> 00:23:57,676
Yeah, I just got two done yesterday.

423
00:23:59,371 --> 00:24:00,766
And it just took forever.

424
00:24:00,766 --> 00:24:02,566
And I was like, I'm gonna fly down.

425
00:24:02,566 --> 00:24:04,276
I wanna go down and see Jamie.

426
00:24:04,276 --> 00:24:07,546
And my husband's like, are you
gonna leave me here with this zoo?

427
00:24:10,096 --> 00:24:13,426
And I was like, I'll just go down and
then watch the pageant and then come back.

428
00:24:13,426 --> 00:24:14,446
And he's just looking at me.

429
00:24:14,446 --> 00:24:15,496
He's like, you're nuts.

430
00:24:17,776 --> 00:24:19,216
Well, it will be fun.

431
00:24:19,216 --> 00:24:20,686
It's super casual tonight.

432
00:24:20,686 --> 00:24:21,166
So, but like

433
00:24:21,496 --> 00:24:24,196
all of these women that
are involved, that.

434
00:24:24,811 --> 00:24:29,251
At least that I know personally
are just, they're so incredible

435
00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:31,711
and every year they're just,

436
00:24:34,171 --> 00:24:37,471
you have to say that because
I've done it so much.

437
00:24:37,531 --> 00:24:41,341
I recognize that this is not the only way.

438
00:24:42,031 --> 00:24:47,611
There are so many other things
that you can get involved in, and

439
00:24:47,611 --> 00:24:52,111
I think that's what the pageant has
really opened up to me is like your

440
00:24:52,111 --> 00:24:55,471
life, how we serve our purpose.

441
00:24:55,471 --> 00:25:04,651
Our platform is not solidly only
contained in here and we have to be

442
00:25:04,651 --> 00:25:09,181
careful of that because, you know, the
first year, that's how it felt to me.

443
00:25:09,586 --> 00:25:13,366
Like, this is the only way
I'm gonna get this word out.

444
00:25:13,366 --> 00:25:18,106
And the only option for me if I
don't win, like then I'm doomed.

445
00:25:18,556 --> 00:25:25,456
But I have recognized between year two
and three and now three and four, how.

446
00:25:25,831 --> 00:25:30,691
This is just my choice, but in all
reality, my platform can be spread

447
00:25:30,691 --> 00:25:36,301
by so many other organizations
or opportunities like it.

448
00:25:36,391 --> 00:25:38,971
It just doesn't stop with this,

449
00:25:39,871 --> 00:25:41,101
um, as.

450
00:25:42,046 --> 00:25:45,616
Because your, your platform
is build it beautiful, right?

451
00:25:45,886 --> 00:25:46,486
Beautiful.

452
00:25:46,546 --> 00:25:47,056
Yes.

453
00:25:47,146 --> 00:25:48,436
Has it changed?

454
00:25:48,586 --> 00:25:49,876
What was it before?

455
00:25:50,146 --> 00:25:54,766
Yeah, so my first two years it was about
women's hormones and women's health.

456
00:25:54,826 --> 00:25:58,396
I was a health coach for
women and their hormones.

457
00:25:58,396 --> 00:26:04,576
I taught them how to eat and exercise
and give education on women's hormones.

458
00:26:04,876 --> 00:26:07,666
Um, I was a health coach for 10 years.

459
00:26:08,971 --> 00:26:13,111
I just barely got testosterone
and estrogen implanted in my butt.

460
00:26:13,591 --> 00:26:15,181
I had a total hysterectomy.

461
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:16,321
Yeah.

462
00:26:16,531 --> 00:26:16,771
Yeah.

463
00:26:16,771 --> 00:26:18,721
Then normal doctors don't.

464
00:26:19,771 --> 00:26:20,041
Yeah.

465
00:26:20,041 --> 00:26:21,931
We could talk for hours about this.

466
00:26:21,931 --> 00:26:22,021
Oh yeah.

467
00:26:22,351 --> 00:26:25,111
But like women, I still,

468
00:26:25,111 --> 00:26:32,431
I still am a really big proponent of that,
but, well, my life between year, between

469
00:26:32,431 --> 00:26:35,641
these two years, my life really changed.

470
00:26:36,631 --> 00:26:37,591
Um, you know.

471
00:26:37,741 --> 00:26:43,711
Yeah, I was, I was going through
a lot of health problems, um, for,

472
00:26:43,741 --> 00:26:49,171
because of lack of hormones, but I
also was diagnosed with celiac disease.

473
00:26:49,651 --> 00:26:56,791
I closed my decade old health coaching
business because my husband and I are

474
00:26:56,791 --> 00:27:01,891
both very big entrepreneurs and we were
growing our businesses and doing this.

475
00:27:01,891 --> 00:27:01,921
Oh.

476
00:27:02,851 --> 00:27:05,011
And so I shifted.

477
00:27:06,346 --> 00:27:09,166
And sacrificed to save my marriage.

478
00:27:09,526 --> 00:27:09,916
Yeah.

479
00:27:10,096 --> 00:27:11,806
Um, so that happened.

480
00:27:12,436 --> 00:27:14,926
I was experiencing physical problems.

481
00:27:14,926 --> 00:27:21,256
So I actually, um, I was teaching classes
every day, uh, fitness classes every day.

482
00:27:21,256 --> 00:27:23,566
And I only went down to like
one a week 'cause I was so.

483
00:27:23,911 --> 00:27:26,791
Sick and experiencing
such bad pain in my body.

484
00:27:27,571 --> 00:27:31,261
Um, I had lots of friendship changes
because I was closing my business

485
00:27:31,261 --> 00:27:36,931
because I was leaving my studios,
um, and going through, you know,

486
00:27:37,081 --> 00:27:39,301
my, my kids were becoming teenagers.

487
00:27:39,301 --> 00:27:41,791
Like that in and of itself
is a huge life change.

488
00:27:43,921 --> 00:27:49,201
And, um, so a lot happened
between year two and three.

489
00:27:49,711 --> 00:27:55,051
And to be honest, I probably should
not have been in the pageant last year.

490
00:27:56,701 --> 00:27:59,581
Um, be after year two.

491
00:28:00,781 --> 00:28:05,431
I felt like somebody put everything
I had built on one end of a

492
00:28:05,431 --> 00:28:10,951
teeter-totter and then hammered
the other side and it just flew.

493
00:28:12,976 --> 00:28:15,976
Nothing, nothing had started landing yet.

494
00:28:16,096 --> 00:28:18,106
When I was going through last year.

495
00:28:18,166 --> 00:28:21,526
It was a really, really
pageant year for me.

496
00:28:21,856 --> 00:28:26,716
So sorry to hear that I was mentally
not healthy, physically not healthy,

497
00:28:26,806 --> 00:28:29,776
um, really struggling with who I was.

498
00:28:31,201 --> 00:28:34,621
What I had to offer because you
know what I had had to offer.

499
00:28:34,621 --> 00:28:38,821
I had been built for 10 years
in these very strong years of

500
00:28:38,821 --> 00:28:43,531
pageant and then just felt like
I had nothing last year to offer.

501
00:28:43,531 --> 00:28:43,621
You

502
00:28:43,951 --> 00:28:44,761
were anymore

503
00:28:44,941 --> 00:28:49,651
kinda, which I would
probably suggest to you.

504
00:28:49,651 --> 00:28:51,241
You probably didn't see that.

505
00:28:52,786 --> 00:28:53,296
I had no idea.

506
00:28:53,296 --> 00:28:56,776
Just the same way that we're really
good at hiding what we're going through.

507
00:28:57,136 --> 00:28:58,906
You're so good at masking.

508
00:28:59,506 --> 00:29:00,136
We are.

509
00:29:00,136 --> 00:29:03,226
Especially when we're in, when
we're in pain or we need help,

510
00:29:03,226 --> 00:29:09,466
we don't want other people to
know that we're having a problem.

511
00:29:09,556 --> 00:29:10,006
Yeah.

512
00:29:10,006 --> 00:29:11,296
I think that.

513
00:29:11,761 --> 00:29:14,641
Especially when you're going
through long term things.

514
00:29:15,181 --> 00:29:18,151
Like I could be like, Hey, I have
covid, and then 10 days later

515
00:29:18,151 --> 00:29:20,551
I'm like, I want it, you know?

516
00:29:20,551 --> 00:29:21,571
I conquered it.

517
00:29:21,661 --> 00:29:22,081
Yeah.

518
00:29:22,081 --> 00:29:28,501
But like when we're going through long
term slogging through the trenches.

519
00:29:29,716 --> 00:29:31,006
Of humanity.

520
00:29:31,426 --> 00:29:34,816
We don't want to admit as
humans that we are weak.

521
00:29:34,816 --> 00:29:38,716
And I think that goes back to survival
of the fittest like it is in our

522
00:29:38,716 --> 00:29:41,926
nature to not talk about those things.

523
00:29:41,986 --> 00:29:47,386
Um, I actually have really
not talked about it very much.

524
00:29:47,986 --> 00:29:52,396
And I hope that, and I'm thankful for
this opportunity because I kind of get

525
00:29:52,396 --> 00:29:56,836
to like just stick my toe in a little
bit to see where I'm at about sharing,

526
00:29:57,766 --> 00:30:01,396
uh, because it has been extremely hard.

527
00:30:03,256 --> 00:30:07,546
But I finally feel like there are some,
some building blocks that are starting

528
00:30:07,546 --> 00:30:15,406
to, to, I feel this positive upward
momentum of built building in this

529
00:30:15,406 --> 00:30:20,056
new way, which is really interesting
because I had my pageant platform of

530
00:30:20,056 --> 00:30:25,036
build it beautiful before I was even
seeing the results of my own build.

531
00:30:26,296 --> 00:30:29,506
Again, 'cause somebody came
in and knocked it all down.

532
00:30:31,306 --> 00:30:31,696
Right?

533
00:30:31,756 --> 00:30:33,166
A lot of renovation

534
00:30:33,226 --> 00:30:33,976
was going on.

535
00:30:35,236 --> 00:30:38,956
I feel like I'm still kind
of going through that.

536
00:30:39,946 --> 00:30:43,697
Um, yeah, there's a lot,
there's a lot that I,

537
00:30:46,636 --> 00:30:48,766
I've just tried to figure
out what I even want.

538
00:30:49,156 --> 00:30:54,856
Like I quit teaching, I
be a teacher, but, um.

539
00:30:55,546 --> 00:31:00,676
Part of it is because my dad had almost
passed away in April, and I knew that

540
00:31:00,676 --> 00:31:07,756
he was, I knew it was gonna happen
and that was gonna hit me hard, and

541
00:31:07,756 --> 00:31:15,316
my mom had passed at the beginning of
the school year, and I just realized

542
00:31:15,526 --> 00:31:18,046
after losing both parents, um.

543
00:31:22,741 --> 00:31:27,991
The what I'm leaving
behind now, what, sorry.

544
00:31:28,261 --> 00:31:32,491
What I am leaving behind are the
memories I'm making with them right now.

545
00:31:34,141 --> 00:31:39,721
So what memories am I wanting
to leave behind for my kids?

546
00:31:40,741 --> 00:31:44,851
Or is my dad would say like, what
legacy are you leaving behind?

547
00:31:45,391 --> 00:31:45,721
Yeah.

548
00:31:46,261 --> 00:31:46,651
Yeah.

549
00:31:48,046 --> 00:31:52,096
And teaching was stressful.

550
00:31:53,086 --> 00:31:53,896
The shingles.

551
00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:55,846
Oh yeah.

552
00:31:55,846 --> 00:32:01,606
Your outward, the outward manifestation
of all your inward and my degrees.

553
00:32:01,606 --> 00:32:04,306
Like that's the, I just hung those up.

554
00:32:06,106 --> 00:32:07,996
One of those, two of those.

555
00:32:08,056 --> 00:32:08,326
Hold on.

556
00:32:08,326 --> 00:32:08,596
Wait,

557
00:32:11,446 --> 00:32:12,316
2014.

558
00:32:15,001 --> 00:32:15,481
10 years.

559
00:32:15,481 --> 00:32:17,941
It took me 10 years to hang up my degrees.

560
00:32:18,991 --> 00:32:20,551
Like I just, you don't,

561
00:32:22,951 --> 00:32:26,281
I kind of didn't feel like I could
be all braggy about it and be

562
00:32:26,281 --> 00:32:27,781
like, look what I did, you know?

563
00:32:29,716 --> 00:32:35,536
Which I feel like going through
pageantry, but I think it happens

564
00:32:36,166 --> 00:32:38,356
in our careers too, and little bits.

565
00:32:38,356 --> 00:32:42,976
But I feel like pageantry is like
this catalyst to exponentially make

566
00:32:42,976 --> 00:32:45,436
us look at our personal barriers.

567
00:32:46,276 --> 00:32:47,176
Yes.

568
00:32:47,236 --> 00:32:50,686
And get the heck over them for real.

569
00:32:50,956 --> 00:32:52,756
Like, like.

570
00:32:54,046 --> 00:33:02,296
I just in that way of like, wait, I can
be proud of what I have accomplished

571
00:33:02,296 --> 00:33:08,746
and what I have gone through and, and I
can tell people what I have accomplished

572
00:33:08,746 --> 00:33:10,756
without looking like I'm bragging.

573
00:33:11,386 --> 00:33:14,656
It is because I can now.

574
00:33:15,781 --> 00:33:19,891
Confidently say like, I have
something to contribute to you

575
00:33:19,951 --> 00:33:21,361
because of what I've been through.

576
00:33:21,691 --> 00:33:30,421
My mess qualifies me to share
with you and to serve you.

577
00:33:32,161 --> 00:33:32,851
Yeah.

578
00:33:34,531 --> 00:33:38,461
Well, and it's like we're
all so relatable, right?

579
00:33:40,651 --> 00:33:42,061
And we forget like.

580
00:33:42,421 --> 00:33:47,011
These people have these incredible
lives and we, we see all their highlight

581
00:33:47,011 --> 00:33:52,621
reels and we, like with me, people
kept talking about how resilient I am.

582
00:33:52,741 --> 00:33:53,641
You're so resilient.

583
00:33:53,641 --> 00:33:54,511
You're so resilient.

584
00:33:54,511 --> 00:33:55,501
You're so resilient.

585
00:33:57,721 --> 00:33:59,131
Well, I went through crap.

586
00:34:00,301 --> 00:34:03,511
You're forgetting all the
crap that I had to go through.

587
00:34:03,571 --> 00:34:07,351
Like being resilient means you
had to go through hard stuff like

588
00:34:08,161 --> 00:34:08,641
Yeah.

589
00:34:08,986 --> 00:34:09,166
Yeah.

590
00:34:09,166 --> 00:34:13,006
It qualified you, it gave
you that characteristic.

591
00:34:13,366 --> 00:34:13,516
Yeah.

592
00:34:14,026 --> 00:34:15,646
But then where was my support?

593
00:34:15,646 --> 00:34:16,576
Like, I still need

594
00:34:16,576 --> 00:34:21,196
support just because I went through a
hard time and I am resilient, doesn't

595
00:34:21,196 --> 00:34:22,786
mean I'm a hundred percent okay now.

596
00:34:24,586 --> 00:34:25,456
Right, right.

597
00:34:25,516 --> 00:34:27,976
But I also, well, we still,
we still need community.

598
00:34:28,546 --> 00:34:30,106
We still need connection.

599
00:34:30,496 --> 00:34:31,006
It doesn't

600
00:34:31,006 --> 00:34:33,646
mean that, um.

601
00:34:38,911 --> 00:34:42,871
It also doesn't mean that I
can't hold space for you and

602
00:34:42,871 --> 00:34:44,461
be there for your hard stuff.

603
00:34:47,101 --> 00:34:47,371
Yeah.

604
00:34:47,671 --> 00:34:55,651
And depending on, depending on where your
capacity is, that also looks different

605
00:34:55,681 --> 00:34:58,411
per circumstances and per person too.

606
00:34:58,411 --> 00:34:58,861
Right?

607
00:34:59,671 --> 00:35:00,601
Well, and I think.

608
00:35:02,131 --> 00:35:04,351
Sometimes people get, um,

609
00:35:06,511 --> 00:35:07,891
like with the pageant,

610
00:35:10,231 --> 00:35:16,411
I'm just kind of noticing from like
an outside perspective a little

611
00:35:16,411 --> 00:35:18,301
bit, kind of an outside perspective.

612
00:35:18,301 --> 00:35:18,811
I don't know.

613
00:35:19,231 --> 00:35:23,431
Um, just 'cause I've done it before
and now there's some new people

614
00:35:23,431 --> 00:35:25,291
that I'm watching go through it and.

615
00:35:26,251 --> 00:35:31,141
It's like, what is the focus
on, like what are they?

616
00:35:33,001 --> 00:35:37,321
Are they worried about the clothes or are
they worried about the hair and makeup?

617
00:35:37,651 --> 00:35:41,161
Are they trying to push too hard?

618
00:35:42,211 --> 00:35:44,191
Are they showing up as themselves?

619
00:35:44,851 --> 00:35:49,051
Like are you going over the top
and stressing yourself out and

620
00:35:49,051 --> 00:35:51,541
showing up for things that you
don't need to be showing up for?

621
00:35:51,541 --> 00:35:51,871
Because.

622
00:35:52,591 --> 00:35:59,101
You feel obligated or are you doing it
because it's part of your purpose, right?

623
00:35:59,101 --> 00:36:02,101
You don't have to go out of your way.

624
00:36:02,101 --> 00:36:04,411
And I think that's kind of
hard for some of them to see.

625
00:36:04,411 --> 00:36:07,561
You don't have to like go out of
your way and do some big huge,

626
00:36:08,071 --> 00:36:10,411
um, fundraising event or whatever.

627
00:36:10,411 --> 00:36:13,351
Like, you don't have to do that if
you're just doing it for the pageant.

628
00:36:14,911 --> 00:36:20,701
Like, everything I'm doing now is, um.

629
00:36:21,616 --> 00:36:22,546
You wanna continue?

630
00:36:22,996 --> 00:36:23,896
It's what I wanna

631
00:36:23,896 --> 00:36:26,596
continue doing and it kind
of helps me figure that out.

632
00:36:26,596 --> 00:36:29,056
'cause Whoopsies, I did that backwards.

633
00:36:29,866 --> 00:36:35,656
My, I'm not teaching anymore, but I have
a master's in curriculum and instruction.

634
00:36:35,686 --> 00:36:37,276
So what the heck am I gonna do now?

635
00:36:39,616 --> 00:36:44,506
I am gonna work with nonprofits
and do public speaking and I don't

636
00:36:44,506 --> 00:36:45,496
know, whatever the heck happened.

637
00:36:45,496 --> 00:36:45,556
Yeah.

638
00:36:46,546 --> 00:36:50,281
But even if you have that master's
degree in that, at that time of your

639
00:36:50,281 --> 00:36:52,231
life, that's where you needed to be.

640
00:36:53,611 --> 00:36:53,671
Yeah.

641
00:36:53,701 --> 00:36:57,991
There are some people who don't ever even
use the degree that they were given and

642
00:36:57,991 --> 00:36:59,521
their life takes 'em on this journey.

643
00:36:59,521 --> 00:37:01,351
We have to be so careful.

644
00:37:01,681 --> 00:37:09,421
We don't stick ourselves to inside this
box of this is who I am and this is

645
00:37:09,421 --> 00:37:12,241
only who I am and this is where I'll be.

646
00:37:12,751 --> 00:37:13,201
Yeah.

647
00:37:14,101 --> 00:37:15,871
It's not in the box.

648
00:37:17,191 --> 00:37:17,641
Yeah.

649
00:37:19,111 --> 00:37:19,441
Yeah.

650
00:37:21,391 --> 00:37:26,101
I think, I think that I would hope,
and this is where the pageantry

651
00:37:26,101 --> 00:37:28,381
gets a little bit sketchy, right?

652
00:37:28,381 --> 00:37:32,701
And this is why you can't rely on
the pageant to dictate your worth

653
00:37:32,731 --> 00:37:38,431
because you go into some year, so
two years, I've had five judges.

654
00:37:38,431 --> 00:37:40,651
In the middle year I had seven.

655
00:37:41,221 --> 00:37:43,111
Oh, there were seven judges that year.

656
00:37:44,251 --> 00:37:48,241
So many interviews, it was a lot.

657
00:37:49,321 --> 00:37:54,931
But if you go into these judges,
I get three minutes to tell them

658
00:37:54,931 --> 00:37:56,941
who I am and what I'm about.

659
00:37:57,031 --> 00:37:57,451
Right.

660
00:37:58,231 --> 00:37:59,041
And you're up against

661
00:37:59,131 --> 00:38:00,331
however many women,

662
00:38:01,021 --> 00:38:01,531
right?

663
00:38:01,561 --> 00:38:03,871
If those judges don't see.

664
00:38:04,816 --> 00:38:07,756
Those who are genuine
versus those who are not.

665
00:38:07,756 --> 00:38:14,176
If they don't have the talent
to decipher between genuine

666
00:38:14,176 --> 00:38:15,736
talent or not genuine talent.

667
00:38:15,766 --> 00:38:17,296
'cause who knows who the judges are.

668
00:38:17,296 --> 00:38:18,646
We don't get to choose them.

669
00:38:19,186 --> 00:38:20,086
They're just picked.

670
00:38:20,656 --> 00:38:21,616
We don't So like Right.

671
00:38:21,796 --> 00:38:23,746
And they shouldn't know us either.

672
00:38:24,046 --> 00:38:24,196
Yeah.

673
00:38:24,226 --> 00:38:29,206
But if they can't pick that out and
they pick somebody who is underdeveloped

674
00:38:29,206 --> 00:38:31,576
and not ready for that, and.

675
00:38:32,746 --> 00:38:33,976
That's on the judges.

676
00:38:33,976 --> 00:38:37,456
So there's, there's a saying in pageantry,
which you've heard from our directors.

677
00:38:37,756 --> 00:38:40,546
Different day, different
judge, different girl.

678
00:38:41,506 --> 00:38:41,776
Yep.

679
00:38:42,136 --> 00:38:43,816
And it truly is that.

680
00:38:43,816 --> 00:38:48,346
So if you're only doing things
to make the pageant look good, or

681
00:38:48,346 --> 00:38:51,736
your pageant run look good, but
that's not really who you are.

682
00:38:52,606 --> 00:38:57,226
You are going to, that person is going
to have a really rough time coming off

683
00:38:57,226 --> 00:38:59,746
that pageant if they don't win real.

684
00:39:00,766 --> 00:39:04,246
And I believe that if they do
win, they're gonna have a really

685
00:39:04,246 --> 00:39:09,226
hard time continuing to push that
a hundred percent consistently.

686
00:39:09,226 --> 00:39:14,056
Because as humans, we just cannot run
at a hundred percent all the time.

687
00:39:14,386 --> 00:39:14,896
We can't.

688
00:39:14,896 --> 00:39:15,736
We need, it's this,

689
00:39:15,736 --> 00:39:16,186
right?

690
00:39:16,186 --> 00:39:21,976
It's just, there's ebbs and flows, and
if we're always showing up as perfect,

691
00:39:22,246 --> 00:39:26,926
we're gonna really have a rough time
showing up as perfect all the time.

692
00:39:28,816 --> 00:39:31,006
That's how I ended up
with shingles in my face.

693
00:39:31,036 --> 00:39:31,126
Mm-hmm.

694
00:39:31,366 --> 00:39:35,806
'cause I was doing too much and it
was because of like, that I needed

695
00:39:35,806 --> 00:39:41,026
to show, I needed to prove myself, I
needed to show I could handle all the

696
00:39:41,026 --> 00:39:42,616
things and I could juggle everything.

697
00:39:43,876 --> 00:39:44,296
Yeah.

698
00:39:44,776 --> 00:39:48,796
Well, and, and we feel pressured to
do that, whether that's something

699
00:39:48,796 --> 00:39:50,416
we're conscious of or not.

700
00:39:51,046 --> 00:39:54,586
I think women specifically
feel pressured because.

701
00:39:55,516 --> 00:40:00,976
Via our social media, or even just in
conversations with people around us, we

702
00:40:00,976 --> 00:40:06,076
see women pushing that limit and we think
that that is actually what is normal.

703
00:40:07,186 --> 00:40:09,166
In all reality, that's
not necessarily healthy.

704
00:40:09,196 --> 00:40:14,236
Just because we see that doesn't mean, I
mean, just like you, you were pushing for

705
00:40:14,236 --> 00:40:19,666
that perfection, but then your body was
showing that like, uh, hey, step back.

706
00:40:19,756 --> 00:40:23,866
And for me, I was pushing for
perfection and then my body had to

707
00:40:23,866 --> 00:40:27,526
renovate my life, had to renovate
'cause I couldn't keep it up.

708
00:40:28,696 --> 00:40:29,836
Sometimes it's okay to

709
00:40:29,836 --> 00:40:32,926
just knock everything down and start over.

710
00:40:35,491 --> 00:40:39,751
You have to have that, like
the solid, solid foundation.

711
00:40:39,751 --> 00:40:45,331
The solid shelf where everything's
just gonna, and we have had, I don't

712
00:40:45,331 --> 00:40:49,981
remember what title holders it was, but
there are a couple misses just recently

713
00:40:49,981 --> 00:40:56,551
that miss, I think that just stepped
down because their values didn't align

714
00:40:56,551 --> 00:40:58,231
with a pageant system or whatever.

715
00:40:58,741 --> 00:40:59,701
Yeah, we've seen that.

716
00:41:00,271 --> 00:41:00,571
Yeah.

717
00:41:00,931 --> 00:41:01,501
But like.

718
00:41:03,211 --> 00:41:10,381
This journey should be helping
you catapult your life and

719
00:41:10,381 --> 00:41:11,701
what you're already doing.

720
00:41:11,821 --> 00:41:14,161
And you shouldn't be like, I
wanna win the crown, so I'm gonna

721
00:41:14,161 --> 00:41:15,631
do this, this, this, and this.

722
00:41:15,631 --> 00:41:18,211
And thank goodness we don't see that.

723
00:41:19,036 --> 00:41:19,726
Often in

724
00:41:19,726 --> 00:41:25,516
ours, like our little, yeah, our, our
directors aren't pushing for a winner.

725
00:41:25,576 --> 00:41:29,116
They're pushing to develop women,
and I love that there are other

726
00:41:29,116 --> 00:41:31,426
states that they push for winners.

727
00:41:31,456 --> 00:41:31,516
Yeah.

728
00:41:32,836 --> 00:41:34,696
Well, and I love the community that we've

729
00:41:34,696 --> 00:41:39,796
created because we wanna get together
every month and the whole time I

730
00:41:39,796 --> 00:41:41,806
was like, that crown was too heavy.

731
00:41:41,806 --> 00:41:43,636
I knew it wasn't gonna fit on my head.

732
00:41:43,966 --> 00:41:45,496
I knew it wasn't for me.

733
00:41:46,561 --> 00:41:52,711
I was up on that stage and you that
your ass, I was applauding like hell

734
00:41:52,741 --> 00:41:57,541
for every single person that was
getting because they worked, they worked

735
00:41:57,541 --> 00:42:02,761
hard and it really is a celebration
of how incredible Yeah, women are.

736
00:42:03,691 --> 00:42:07,681
Well, I have always told people,
and going through this system

737
00:42:07,681 --> 00:42:11,701
myself, multiple years, I've told
people like what you see on stage

738
00:42:11,701 --> 00:42:14,791
is maybe 5% of what they have done.

739
00:42:15,376 --> 00:42:20,716
Yeah, and we is the contestants.

740
00:42:21,106 --> 00:42:27,646
Know the 90 per 90, 95% of what
other contestants have done and watch

741
00:42:27,646 --> 00:42:29,416
them grow and change and develop.

742
00:42:29,416 --> 00:42:33,196
And I know there's a couple contestants
this year that I'm enjoying watching

743
00:42:33,466 --> 00:42:40,306
their first time, like all the, the messy
understanding and the lingo and the, the,

744
00:42:40,666 --> 00:42:42,976
you know, the butt glue and the boob tape.

745
00:42:45,471 --> 00:42:48,741
That make a difference in
your, in, in how you show up.

746
00:42:48,741 --> 00:42:49,881
Just little things like that.

747
00:42:49,881 --> 00:42:55,461
And I love watching like the light
bulbs start to turn on, but like in that

748
00:42:55,461 --> 00:42:59,211
system, when we're on that stage and
they're in and they, they bring everybody

749
00:42:59,211 --> 00:43:03,261
out and they're, they're announcing
the winners, like of the costume and

750
00:43:03,261 --> 00:43:06,201
the winners of Miss Congeniality and
the winner of the best interview.

751
00:43:06,201 --> 00:43:11,721
Like only those women on that
stage and maybe key members

752
00:43:11,721 --> 00:43:13,311
of people's families know.

753
00:43:14,311 --> 00:43:21,091
The refining that, that that lady has
gone through for the past eight months

754
00:43:21,091 --> 00:43:24,661
to make it to that stage alone, right?

755
00:43:25,171 --> 00:43:25,531
Yeah.

756
00:43:26,761 --> 00:43:31,261
So we have, we have to validate each other
by being each other's supporters that

757
00:43:31,261 --> 00:43:36,001
way, because if it was only for the crown,
we'd all stand up there and like poke

758
00:43:36,001 --> 00:43:39,631
our hip out and put our hands on our hips
and just fold our arms and puff and puff.

759
00:43:39,631 --> 00:43:40,081
But like.

760
00:43:41,146 --> 00:43:46,066
I think we're validating the, yes,
we're validating that journey of

761
00:43:46,066 --> 00:43:50,206
those women by showing up for them,
even though we know that Crown is not

762
00:43:50,206 --> 00:43:51,676
going to be on our head that night.

763
00:43:52,126 --> 00:43:52,456
Yeah.

764
00:43:53,056 --> 00:43:58,036
Well, and I was so lost last year
with what to write 'cause I had to

765
00:43:58,036 --> 00:44:01,216
write what they were gonna talk about
while I'm walking around on the stage

766
00:44:01,216 --> 00:44:03,316
and I'm like, I dunno what to say.

767
00:44:04,006 --> 00:44:07,396
Yeah, it's never been my
favorite to talk about myself.

768
00:44:07,816 --> 00:44:07,876
Way,

769
00:44:08,416 --> 00:44:10,906
but it's like, what do I
want people to know about me?

770
00:44:10,906 --> 00:44:11,731
It's just kind of mm-hmm.

771
00:44:11,816 --> 00:44:16,486
It's less intimidating and Right when
it was over Amanda Brady, well, I think

772
00:44:16,486 --> 00:44:19,336
everyone was worried that I was gonna
have like that big pageant let down.

773
00:44:19,366 --> 00:44:23,086
I didn't, I, I had, I was
like, Ugh, I'm so tired.

774
00:44:23,086 --> 00:44:24,766
I just felt like I had a hangover.

775
00:44:25,036 --> 00:44:29,386
But emotionally, I was like, I grabbed
Amanda Brady, she's like one of

776
00:44:29,386 --> 00:44:32,956
the former winners, or she grabbed
me, I grabbed her, she grabbed me,

777
00:44:32,956 --> 00:44:34,966
one of the two, and I was like.

778
00:44:36,286 --> 00:44:38,026
I wanna quit my job and do this again.

779
00:44:38,086 --> 00:44:39,556
And she was like, slow down.

780
00:44:40,756 --> 00:44:41,626
But I did.

781
00:44:44,176 --> 00:44:46,906
But not because, not
because of the pageant.

782
00:44:47,926 --> 00:44:54,976
Because the pageant helped me realize
that the direction my life was going is

783
00:44:54,976 --> 00:44:56,986
not the direction that I was meant to go.

784
00:44:58,186 --> 00:45:01,366
I, there's like a magnet
that's pulling me and I just.

785
00:45:01,846 --> 00:45:04,336
I follow whatever that pole is.

786
00:45:04,426 --> 00:45:08,416
So now, because I've been able to
do the peja, I have some really cool

787
00:45:08,416 --> 00:45:15,316
opportunities, um, and I've been able
to heal and really figure out like,

788
00:45:15,316 --> 00:45:18,436
what, what the heck I'm doing right.

789
00:45:18,496 --> 00:45:19,726
I love that.

790
00:45:19,786 --> 00:45:23,656
And you know what, in four
years, five years, that might

791
00:45:23,656 --> 00:45:25,696
not be the right pull anymore.

792
00:45:25,756 --> 00:45:32,566
You know, like we, we, we draw into
these opportunities and there it

793
00:45:32,956 --> 00:45:34,936
really is just a winding journey.

794
00:45:35,356 --> 00:45:38,386
I. This is not the end all be all for me.

795
00:45:38,386 --> 00:45:42,436
Even like, and that comes full circle,
like there's so much more outside of

796
00:45:42,436 --> 00:45:47,596
this that if this doesn't happen, I'm
just thankful I was able to be part of

797
00:45:47,596 --> 00:45:50,296
it to, to give me the next opportunity.

798
00:45:50,686 --> 00:45:53,866
Yeah, I'm thankful 'cause I've had,

799
00:45:55,936 --> 00:45:59,416
because of my sash, I've
been able to meet some really

800
00:45:59,416 --> 00:46:00,886
incredible people and make some.

801
00:46:01,516 --> 00:46:04,906
Connections and we need that
there power in that sash.

802
00:46:05,626 --> 00:46:05,836
Yeah.

803
00:46:06,916 --> 00:46:08,026
And we need that village.

804
00:46:08,026 --> 00:46:09,196
We need that community.

805
00:46:09,766 --> 00:46:14,026
So I think it's helping, it's
kind of helping women catapult.

806
00:46:14,956 --> 00:46:16,216
It's like that, what is it?

807
00:46:17,206 --> 00:46:19,726
It's kind of like a
MLM, but it not really.

808
00:46:22,546 --> 00:46:22,786
For good

809
00:46:22,786 --> 00:46:22,906
things.

810
00:46:25,036 --> 00:46:25,816
Incredible.

811
00:46:25,816 --> 00:46:30,046
How we are pulling like-minded
women to be together.

812
00:46:30,286 --> 00:46:30,766
Yes.

813
00:46:30,826 --> 00:46:31,996
It, it is, it is.

814
00:46:32,236 --> 00:46:36,016
There is something to be said about you
become like the people you hang around.

815
00:46:36,346 --> 00:46:36,436
Mm-hmm.

816
00:46:36,736 --> 00:46:42,016
And you know, I, I talked a little bit
with you here about how my life upended.

817
00:46:42,471 --> 00:46:47,361
Well, deciding if I wanted to do the
pageant this year, this was my decision

818
00:46:48,111 --> 00:46:52,941
because things had changed so much
and because I was now lacking a tribe,

819
00:46:52,971 --> 00:46:58,221
because I lost my, my students and
my studios and, and my clients who

820
00:46:58,251 --> 00:46:59,781
be, you know, were becoming friends.

821
00:47:00,706 --> 00:47:05,026
I made the decision to do the pageant
this year because I knew that if I

822
00:47:05,026 --> 00:47:09,406
wanted to be successful, I needed to be
around women who wanted to be successful,

823
00:47:09,496 --> 00:47:12,376
and this was where I decided to go.

824
00:47:12,766 --> 00:47:13,186
Yeah.

825
00:47:13,726 --> 00:47:19,666
Well, and now, because you're not
doing your classes anymore, is

826
00:47:19,696 --> 00:47:22,996
this where you started with BYU

827
00:47:24,676 --> 00:47:25,696
doing mentoring?

828
00:47:25,996 --> 00:47:26,446
Yeah.

829
00:47:27,121 --> 00:47:29,191
No, I think I would've done that anyway.

830
00:47:29,791 --> 00:47:34,861
Um, it, it, it, BYU mentoring did
not come out of my sash at all,

831
00:47:35,491 --> 00:47:37,141
um, which is really interesting.

832
00:47:37,231 --> 00:47:42,391
But it has stemmed some opportunities when
people look at my profile to then further.

833
00:47:43,456 --> 00:47:44,296
Engage with me.

834
00:47:44,296 --> 00:47:50,056
So it has led to opportunities, but,
um, I, I was telling you before we

835
00:47:50,056 --> 00:47:52,816
started recording, so maybe I'll,
I'll explain this a little bit.

836
00:47:53,086 --> 00:48:00,226
I mentor BYU students in, they can contact
me through the, it's called BYU Connect,

837
00:48:00,856 --> 00:48:03,316
any BYU student in any of the locations.

838
00:48:03,316 --> 00:48:08,776
So Idaho, Hawaii, um, enzyme College
in Salt Lake, and then, uh, BYU

839
00:48:08,776 --> 00:48:11,326
Provo, anybody who is a student.

840
00:48:11,826 --> 00:48:17,616
Or is an alumni, they have this
networking program and um, I signed

841
00:48:17,616 --> 00:48:22,326
up for that and was probably one
of the first 50 users of that.

842
00:48:22,866 --> 00:48:27,276
And students contact me and
I get to give them advice.

843
00:48:27,366 --> 00:48:30,276
Uh, they see I've owned
multiple businesses.

844
00:48:30,276 --> 00:48:33,786
They see I was in the business
school, but also that I do dance.

845
00:48:33,786 --> 00:48:36,636
And then, you know, they see my
profile picture with my sash.

846
00:48:36,636 --> 00:48:39,816
And that has led to, like I
said, other opportunities, but.

847
00:48:40,786 --> 00:48:47,476
When this opportunity to be a mentor
came up, all I could think about

848
00:48:47,476 --> 00:48:52,726
was how much I could have used
a mentor when I was 18 years old

849
00:48:52,726 --> 00:48:55,156
and 19 years old and 20 years old.

850
00:48:55,276 --> 00:49:00,046
You know, the five years I was in college,
even when I was married and still in

851
00:49:00,046 --> 00:49:04,786
college, I could have used a mentor to say
like, Hey, I've been where you've been.

852
00:49:05,056 --> 00:49:08,146
I'm 10 to 15 years out of school and.

853
00:49:08,761 --> 00:49:11,106
These are the things I
would've done different.

854
00:49:11,866 --> 00:49:12,346
Yeah.

855
00:49:12,526 --> 00:49:16,396
Or these are the things I would've taken
advantage of, or these are the things

856
00:49:16,396 --> 00:49:18,586
I wouldn't have worried about so much.

857
00:49:18,946 --> 00:49:19,336
Yeah.

858
00:49:19,396 --> 00:49:22,426
And um, and so I get to do that.

859
00:49:22,606 --> 00:49:28,666
I actually met with a student who is
doing, um, online studies through BYU.

860
00:49:28,936 --> 00:49:33,466
It's called BYU Pathways,
and he was in Zimbabwe.

861
00:49:33,746 --> 00:49:34,166
What,

862
00:49:34,166 --> 00:49:35,366
this was just last week.

863
00:49:35,666 --> 00:49:36,986
Yeah, so, okay.

864
00:49:37,136 --> 00:49:42,836
I met a student from Zimbabwe who
is trying to get any sort of smaller

865
00:49:42,836 --> 00:49:49,526
degree so that he can open his own
coding company from Zimbabwe to be

866
00:49:49,526 --> 00:49:51,416
able to support a future family.

867
00:49:53,506 --> 00:50:01,186
He was in a cafe paying for internet
by the hour to be able to meet with

868
00:50:01,576 --> 00:50:06,196
other BYU alumni to learn from them
what their experiences have been.

869
00:50:08,206 --> 00:50:14,686
So I feel, I, I feel this pull that
no matter what I learn in life,

870
00:50:14,836 --> 00:50:18,436
I have a responsibility to share
what I learn with other people.

871
00:50:19,021 --> 00:50:24,421
To better their lives because I didn't
have that myself, and I've always felt

872
00:50:24,421 --> 00:50:26,281
that way when it came to my health.

873
00:50:26,311 --> 00:50:29,611
I'll share anything about hormones
and women's health because I

874
00:50:29,611 --> 00:50:30,811
went through my own trials.

875
00:50:31,081 --> 00:50:34,741
I'll share anything about business
because man, I wish somebody would've

876
00:50:34,741 --> 00:50:38,401
told me how to start a business instead
of me having to figure it out on my own.

877
00:50:38,881 --> 00:50:42,001
Like all of the things that
I have learned on my own, you

878
00:50:42,001 --> 00:50:47,461
know, we have a responsibility as
humans to help somebody else out.

879
00:50:49,366 --> 00:50:50,896
I'm gonna tell you something crazy.

880
00:50:52,936 --> 00:50:57,886
My dad used to work at BYU,
that's where he retired.

881
00:50:57,886 --> 00:50:59,506
He went to school there for a long time.

882
00:51:00,016 --> 00:51:03,856
Um, he graduated with his MBA
and then he went and did like

883
00:51:03,856 --> 00:51:07,336
other business things, right?

884
00:51:07,341 --> 00:51:07,741
Mm-hmm.

885
00:51:08,121 --> 00:51:13,216
Um, but he retired from
BYU and his job was.

886
00:51:14,416 --> 00:51:16,816
A recruiter for graduating MBAs.

887
00:51:17,446 --> 00:51:18,016
Awesome.

888
00:51:18,256 --> 00:51:24,586
So he like would travel around the world
and connect businesses with students with

889
00:51:24,586 --> 00:51:25,126
the MBA

890
00:51:25,126 --> 00:51:25,576
program.

891
00:51:25,726 --> 00:51:25,936
Yeah,

892
00:51:26,926 --> 00:51:31,096
and he would, his favorite thing
was doing retreats, but like.

893
00:51:32,701 --> 00:51:36,271
Rafting, whitewater rafting
and hiking and stuff.

894
00:51:36,271 --> 00:51:37,321
Venture retreats.

895
00:51:37,321 --> 00:51:37,621
Yeah.

896
00:51:38,101 --> 00:51:42,961
There is something to be said about
doing something hard in nature that,

897
00:51:43,771 --> 00:51:49,201
uh, patterns, it's, it patterns us
for better resilience in the business

898
00:51:49,201 --> 00:51:51,241
world, in our normal everyday lives.

899
00:51:51,241 --> 00:51:51,691
Right.

900
00:51:52,141 --> 00:51:52,711
Real.

901
00:51:52,771 --> 00:51:53,551
That's really cool.

902
00:51:53,551 --> 00:51:54,001
Amanda.

903
00:51:54,006 --> 00:51:54,781
I, um.

904
00:51:56,101 --> 00:51:59,371
I think that the MBA programs
are really incredible.

905
00:51:59,611 --> 00:52:05,101
My husband went through the
executive MBA program, um, where

906
00:52:05,551 --> 00:52:09,841
you still, you're, you're, you're
not looking to land a big job.

907
00:52:09,841 --> 00:52:13,201
You have a job already and have
been in that job for a time.

908
00:52:13,261 --> 00:52:17,011
And then, you know, you go
through this MBA program to help

909
00:52:17,011 --> 00:52:19,021
you be better in your position.

910
00:52:19,651 --> 00:52:20,821
And, um.

911
00:52:21,241 --> 00:52:24,901
It was the most incredible
experience to watch.

912
00:52:25,291 --> 00:52:30,421
It was kind of like what we do in
pageantry, that self-growth and self, um,

913
00:52:30,451 --> 00:52:36,151
change within that was incredible for my
husband to go through and us as a family.

914
00:52:36,421 --> 00:52:36,661
So

915
00:52:37,651 --> 00:52:37,951
it's amazing.

916
00:52:38,761 --> 00:52:40,591
Yeah, they have a really
incredible program there.

917
00:52:40,621 --> 00:52:46,441
I just, I didn't realize how, what he
did, 'cause I got to write some of his.

918
00:52:48,661 --> 00:52:50,611
Life sketch, that's what it was called.

919
00:52:50,641 --> 00:52:54,421
Me and my three sisters all stood up
there and did, talked about different

920
00:52:54,421 --> 00:52:58,321
parts of his life and I got to
talk about his business, whatever.

921
00:52:58,321 --> 00:53:01,051
But I knew him as the
scary guy in the office.

922
00:53:01,111 --> 00:53:01,531
You know,

923
00:53:03,751 --> 00:53:07,201
he was always in his den and he was
always working and I didn't wanna

924
00:53:07,201 --> 00:53:16,681
bother him, but like when he got older
and like I was out of the house and.

925
00:53:17,161 --> 00:53:18,211
All kinds of things.

926
00:53:18,211 --> 00:53:23,251
He was able to really be my dad again,
you know, and like show up how he

927
00:53:23,251 --> 00:53:25,231
wanted to, which was really cool.

928
00:53:26,941 --> 00:53:27,271
Yeah.

929
00:53:28,021 --> 00:53:28,531
The legacy.

930
00:53:28,531 --> 00:53:32,641
Yeah, I think, I think that there's
so much more to our parents than

931
00:53:32,761 --> 00:53:37,291
we realize until they're gone
and we discover the sides of them

932
00:53:37,291 --> 00:53:41,941
that in our innocence we missed.

933
00:53:42,481 --> 00:53:42,871
Yeah.

934
00:53:44,161 --> 00:53:47,731
In our own needs or in our own
perspective, we missed of them.

935
00:53:48,211 --> 00:53:55,291
When my mother's parents passed away,
she found this beautiful file full of all

936
00:53:55,291 --> 00:53:59,011
the love letters that they had written
back and forth to each other, and she

937
00:53:59,011 --> 00:54:03,181
said it really opened my eyes to the
relationship that I didn't get to see.

938
00:54:03,181 --> 00:54:04,291
That's what she said.

939
00:54:04,291 --> 00:54:06,121
You know, like I didn't know.

940
00:54:07,591 --> 00:54:13,051
I didn't know that they were that
invested romantically with each

941
00:54:13,051 --> 00:54:14,761
other because I didn't see that.

942
00:54:14,761 --> 00:54:15,061
Right.

943
00:54:15,061 --> 00:54:19,981
And so I think about what are my kids
going to discover of me, you know?

944
00:54:20,341 --> 00:54:20,701
Yeah.

945
00:54:20,791 --> 00:54:27,271
When, when I'm gone that they go, oh,
there's more to this person than just mom.

946
00:54:27,661 --> 00:54:28,021
Right.

947
00:54:30,031 --> 00:54:30,781
Um.

948
00:54:31,126 --> 00:54:35,326
I'm gonna get ready to wrap up with
you so you can get Yes, this is great.

949
00:54:35,506 --> 00:54:35,926
Yeah.

950
00:54:36,016 --> 00:54:38,146
But two things.

951
00:54:40,126 --> 00:54:45,586
Um, I've been able to go through my
mom's things and I'm the youngest of

952
00:54:45,586 --> 00:54:49,606
seven kids and my parents divorced
after being married for 40 years.

953
00:54:49,756 --> 00:54:54,496
So by the time I was around, they were not
lovey-dovey on each other, like at all.

954
00:54:55,636 --> 00:54:59,956
I found their wedding album and like.

955
00:55:00,601 --> 00:55:03,001
When you're miserable, you're
not gonna pull out those pictures

956
00:55:03,001 --> 00:55:06,181
and look at them with your kids.

957
00:55:06,181 --> 00:55:06,631
Right.

958
00:55:07,171 --> 00:55:09,931
I had never seen them happy.

959
00:55:10,531 --> 00:55:11,191
Wow.

960
00:55:11,311 --> 00:55:13,981
I had never seen them like
loving and kissing on each

961
00:55:13,981 --> 00:55:15,181
other or holding each other.

962
00:55:15,181 --> 00:55:17,311
He was like carrying her in a little.

963
00:55:19,321 --> 00:55:23,731
And so it was just kind of nice
to like know that they really did.

964
00:55:23,911 --> 00:55:25,501
They really did care about each other.

965
00:55:25,681 --> 00:55:29,881
I also found out my last thing, um.

966
00:55:30,541 --> 00:55:32,641
My mom did pageants a little bit.

967
00:55:33,841 --> 00:55:34,651
That's so cool.

968
00:55:35,581 --> 00:55:36,841
I think that was

969
00:55:38,851 --> 00:55:40,171
her helping me heal.

970
00:55:41,101 --> 00:55:41,191
Mm-hmm.

971
00:55:42,121 --> 00:55:43,051
Ooh, okay.

972
00:55:43,531 --> 00:55:44,611
Just a moment.

973
00:55:45,031 --> 00:55:46,411
My cleaners are here.

974
00:55:47,041 --> 00:55:47,641
That's great.

975
00:55:47,641 --> 00:55:49,621
Well, this is a good time.

976
00:55:49,891 --> 00:55:52,141
Tell us where we can need you.

977
00:55:53,041 --> 00:55:53,431
Okay.

978
00:55:53,431 --> 00:55:57,091
So you can find me at, um, on Instagram.

979
00:55:57,601 --> 00:55:59,671
I have a build it Beautiful.

980
00:56:00,316 --> 00:56:04,966
Instagram, but I also have Mrs. Clarissa
Thomas, and there's dots between

981
00:56:04,966 --> 00:56:06,886
each word and both of those handles.

982
00:56:07,126 --> 00:56:09,346
And I'll send this to you and you
can put it in your show notes.

983
00:56:10,066 --> 00:56:15,016
Um, you can find my
podcast@builditbeautiful.com and anything

984
00:56:15,016 --> 00:56:18,946
about me, we didn't get a talk about
like my recipe book, but my girls and

985
00:56:18,946 --> 00:56:22,816
I put together a recipe book this past
year and you can find that on, you

986
00:56:22,816 --> 00:56:25,036
can order it on our site or on Amazon.

987
00:56:25,456 --> 00:56:27,616
Um, they have a Kindle version on Amazon.

988
00:56:27,936 --> 00:56:28,716
That's so cool.

989
00:56:28,716 --> 00:56:31,596
Maybe because I'm gonna be
recording with you soon, maybe we

990
00:56:31,596 --> 00:56:32,766
can talk about that a little bit.

991
00:56:33,676 --> 00:56:36,466
Tiny bit on your podcast
or just come back.

992
00:56:38,266 --> 00:56:39,196
Sounds lovely.

993
00:56:39,466 --> 00:56:41,416
It was a cute little project for me.

994
00:56:41,506 --> 00:56:46,936
And other than that, like I'm, I'm very,
I mean, you can find me on Facebook,

995
00:56:46,936 --> 00:56:48,196
you can find me really anywhere.

996
00:56:48,421 --> 00:56:52,351
I'm happy to, I'm happy to share
and be that mentor that people need.

997
00:56:52,921 --> 00:56:55,561
But also you're, you're going
to find things that are going

998
00:56:55,561 --> 00:56:59,191
to be uplifting, things that are
going to be business oriented.

999
00:56:59,521 --> 00:57:05,791
And I'm, I try and just be super
real, um, with what I post and what

1000
00:57:05,791 --> 00:57:10,921
I share and showing all sides of
humanity versus just a perfect side.

1001
00:57:11,311 --> 00:57:13,261
Well, we don't need to
see just the highlight.

1002
00:57:14,671 --> 00:57:15,391
Let's be real.

1003
00:57:17,866 --> 00:57:18,466
Absolutely.

1004
00:57:19,216 --> 00:57:24,136
Thank you so much for having me
on and chatting with me and, um,

1005
00:57:24,526 --> 00:57:26,716
providing a space where we can connect.

1006
00:57:27,076 --> 00:57:27,676
I love that.

1007
00:57:27,871 --> 00:57:28,381
Thank you.

1008
00:57:29,071 --> 00:57:29,541
Thank you.

1009
00:57:29,891 --> 00:57:30,181
Okay.

1010
00:57:30,291 --> 00:57:30,581
Yeah.