Embracing the Uncomfortable: Amanda's Journey Through Ketamine Therapy and LGBTQ Allyship

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Amanda McCombs [00:01.036]

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Hello and welcome to the inner
workings of the not so genius mind.

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I'm your host, the not
so genius Amanda McCombs.

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And you know, I'm

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starting to get into a better routine.

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I'm almost at weekly.

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I know what it says.

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My podcast does release weekly.

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It's going to eventually.

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I'm getting so much better.

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I

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have been doing a lot
of work on my health.

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and in all the ways, physical and mental,
and it's finally starting to come through.

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I finished six rounds of ketamine therapy.

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That was, that was brutal.

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It isn't as easy and wonderful
and sunshine and rainbows as

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everybody makes it seem to be.

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It is so healing.

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I am thankful I was able to do that.

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So.

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I'm gonna say that's my thing that I had
to do to take care of myself for this

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episode is doing the ketamine therapy and
going through with all of it because a

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lot of the things that I went into, you
know, it takes a lot of mental preparation

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before you go into a situation like that.

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it's, I have medical staff there with me.

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It's not just some like,

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crazy trip where somebody
gives me some random stuff.

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It's a process and I'm
thankful for my team.

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They're over at Rising Health, Rising
Health Specialty Clinic here in Utah.

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They've been helping with my
hormone therapy and just my

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overall health and wellness.

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They're the

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ones that I'm not sponsored.

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by them right now.

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Maybe I will be, but who knows?

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I haven't really talked
to them about that yet.

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So this is not, I'm not saying
this because I'm sponsored.

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I'm just saying thank you
to Raising Health because

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it's really made a difference.

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And I really had to, you know, it's
getting down to the root cause of

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why you're feeling sick and not just
taking Advil because you're in pain.

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It's making the pain actually go away.

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Amanda McCombs [02:27.872]

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don't have to take the
Advil anymore, right?

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But on a different note, I'm gonna
spin to something completely different.

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I had the privilege of going
to the Equality Utah Awaigawa.

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It was over this last weekend.

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I kind of went last minute and
I went alone, like by myself.

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bought my ticket, nobody
was going with me.

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think though, I don't know, I
guess I've done it in a few other

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situations, but not anything like
this, because it was at the ECHOES.

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And, you know, I've learned
especially from doing the Mrs.

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Utah America pageant that I learn
and I grow so much when I'm put

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in uncomfortable situations.

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And I kept seeing all these
posts about the Equality Gala.

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And the day of, I sent the
post to my husband and I was

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like, I need to go to this.

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I need to go do my Mrs.

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Daybreak thing and I need to go be there
and just show them that I am supportive.

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And I asked him to go with me.

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It's really not his scene.

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And he would be better for him to
stay and take care of the kids anyway.

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Right.

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So I put on my big, huge, beautiful
blue dress because when else am I

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going to put that dang thing on?

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right?

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I mean, if you have ideas, and you know
when I could maybe put it on besides the

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pageant because I'm doing that again.

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I mean, that's already clear.

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But I will come give me an event
to wear a dress to and I will go.

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And it's

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I mean, really going to something this
big, it was at the Eccles, going to

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something that big alone is not something
that I would do before the pageant.

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So here I am doing my Mrs.

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Daybreak thing in my big, beautiful
blue dress, and I'm talking to

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strangers and putting myself out there.

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In case you don't know, Equality
Utah is for the LGBTQ plus.

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Amanda McCombs [04:48.48]

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community and I went as an ally.

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I have a lot of,

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a lot of people I know are
part of that community.

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I mean, I, and if I learned anything,
cause I have, like I've been to pride

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and I've been to other things, but if I
learned anything, it's, I'm really bad

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at taking be real, like behind the scenes
footage or just, or even just like,

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any kind of footage where I'm just like,
wow, this is a really cool moment because

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lately I'm just taking in the moment.

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So I don't have a lot of photo and video.

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Plus my phone died towards
the end of the night.

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And I really, anyway, that's enough.

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I'll tell you that at the

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end.

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they were trying to raise money to help
with policy changes and things to keep.

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people safe.

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And I think there's a lot of
misunderstandings, I think, and a

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lot of misconceptions when you think
about going to an event like that.

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It was, the theme for the
night was, what was it?

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Enchanted world.

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That's what it was.

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And there were people walk, there were
like giant dancing trees and there

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were people with like, I saw a dude
that actually had like a tree branch

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wrapped around his head and it was all.

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He kept hitting me with it and I was
like, man, why does it smell so good?

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Is that a real tree?

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And he was like, yes, I made it myself.

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Anyway, so I just, it was so weird to
put myself out there because a lot of

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people have no idea who I am or who Mrs.

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Daybreak is.

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So, and there's a big difference I
notice between like me just going and

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showing up and me showing up and like,

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wearing something that boldly
proclaims who and what I am, right?

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And I'm walking up and down these
stairs in this big, huge, amazing

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foyer before the party even, like,
not the party, before the show starts.

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So there was like a party beforehand
and then the show, the concert,

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and the fundraising stuff.

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And then there was the after
party and then there was an after.

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Amanda McCombs [07:14.832]

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after party and I am not I'm not that
big of a party or I made it to the

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after party but I didn't make it to the
after after party but in all of that

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I heard I did not get as much photo
and video as I wanted to just because

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I was so captivated and I was just
enjoying the moment and I was watching

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everybody and talking to people and

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I mean, I should have had my phone
out and I should have been taking

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pictures left and right and all kinds
of video, but I just was present.

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I was there.

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I was listening to all the
sounds and watching all the

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people and their costumes and...

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Amanda McCombs [08:02.034]

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Even though I was there alone,
was so happy that I went and

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I was so happy to be there.

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you know,

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it's kind of eye-opening because I'm
used to being people who think and act

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a lot more like me and then I step in
and I'm probably the minority, right?

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And there was nothing but love.

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Amanda McCombs [08:31.284]

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And when it comes down to it all,
there's reasons I'm talked about

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ketamine therapy at the beginning.

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because during my ketamine therapy
and while I was at this gala, I

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just really came to realize that a
lot of what we really want as part

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of the overall human experience
is to be seen and heard and loved.

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just as we are, not like I love
you, but you should do this.

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Or you should believe and
think and do whatever I think

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you should be doing, right?

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That's not what our
lives are supposed to be.

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And I'm looking around at all
these beautiful people that are

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so full of love and compassion
and all they want is to love.

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Amanda McCombs [09:32.086]

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they shouldn't have to fight so hard
to exist and to be who they are.

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And I think really, especially after
struggling so hard to figure out who I

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am, I mean, I'm still on that journey.

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know I figuring out who I am because
when I'm walking around wearing that

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sash and there's all these people that
are looking at me and they're like,

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wow, I didn't know there was a Mrs.

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Daybreak.

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I have to be like, here I am.

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Yes there is.

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I'm Mrs.

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Daybreak.

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And then I have to explain like
how it all comes to be because

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there was an interview I did.

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actually, I think I'm going to do a
throwback episode because I was a guest

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on my friend Courtney Pearl's podcast.

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And I was a guest on her podcast
last year when I was still

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new to all the pageant stuff.

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And before I had started my own,

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and we talked about like how I became Mrs.

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Daybreak and how I claimed that title.

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I said, this is mine.

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Right.

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when you put in your paperwork, I
don't know if I've mentioned this

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to like my podcast people, you
just write down where you live.

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If that's your preferred title,
like if it, your neighborhood or,

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your city or county or
whatever, you know, I did Mrs.

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Daybreak thinking nobody
else would have it.

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And it's not like I went
and did a beauty pageant.

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It was like, I just signed up
and said, I'd like to be Mrs.

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Daybreak.

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And if not, I'll do this other one.

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And nobody else was Mrs.

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Daybreak.

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So I'm your Mrs.

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Daybreak for the foreseeable future.

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Amanda McCombs [11:24.212]

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And I have to like, it's very interesting
to tell people like, I didn't have

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to do another pageant to do this.

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I just had to be like,
I'm going to be Mrs.

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Daybreak.

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This is who I am.

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man, it's so fun.

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So fun to like figure it all
out all over again, though.

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I have done a lot of healing
with my inner child and my outer

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child, the whole person, right?

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Who says we have to grow up?

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I told Peter Pan that I was only
growing up or pretending to be

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a grown up for the other adults
because they don't need to know.

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Why do you think I was
in first grade so long?

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Just kidding, it's
because I was a teacher.

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Anyway.

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There were a lot of people from
the community that were there and

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I loved seeing a lot of the LGBTQ

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daybreak crowd there.

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So hi.

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If I ran into you and gave you a
quick hello, it was nice to see you.

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And if you found me on my podcast,

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give me a quick hello.

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I'm going to start winding things up
here, but you can say hi to me over at

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my Instagram, which is not so genius.

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Or if you want to like collaborate
or schedule an interview, I'm

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totally open to doing that.

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I think that would be really fun.

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So shoot me a message.

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Let's connect.

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And you should check out Equality
Utah on Instagram for pictures

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and video and any ways that you're
interested in contributing to help.

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Amanda McCombs [13:14.068]

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and be a part of that amazing community.

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There's just, there were just
so many amazing people there.

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I was in awe.

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People on and off the stage.

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was just so cool.

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If you've listened this far, thank you.

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Take care of yourselves.

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It's a crazy world out there.