From Air Force to Pageantry: Kim's Story

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welcome to the inner workings
of the not so genius mind.

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I'm Amanda McCombs, and
let's leave about research.

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Oh, look at you, professional Mrs.
Daybreak, I'm not so genius and

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I have a friend with me today.

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Actually, I didn't talk about
how I wanted to introduce you.

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Do you want to introduce yourself?

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Sure.

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I'm happy to.

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Hi, everyone.

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I'm Kim Chatto.

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I am Miss Willard Bay.

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I met Amanda through the amazing
pageant series here in Utah.

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And so she's going for like the Mrs.
Contestant, I'm going for the Miss.

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Yeah.

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And yeah, I'm super excited to be here.

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Do you want me to dive
into my background or?

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Oh, I know.

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Well, yeah, because you're new to Utah.

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I would love to hear more
because my platform is all

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about take care of yourself.

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So I want to know more
about your platform.

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Yeah.

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And then we'll just go from there.

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It's really, it's just
a conversation, right?

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Yeah, absolutely.

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So I moved to, I've lived in Utah for.

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A year now.

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I moved here Christmas Eve of 2023.

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I served in the Air Force active
duty for over 11 years and then

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separated and came to Utah.

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I have no ties here.

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Not from here.

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Don't have family here or anything.

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I came here for the Sentinel nuclear
weapon project at a Hill Air Force Base.

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I know, right?

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So yeah, actually when I was active duty,
the first almost four years of my career,

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I was a nuclear combat crew commander.

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So I worked with intercontinental
ballistic missiles.

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Um, like when you see the Hollywood
movies where like the big red

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button, it's not a big red button.

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It's turning keys.

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But that was me.

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And yeah, what, like
Mission Impossible style.

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You're bad ass.

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I don't know about that.

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But it was definitely a
really important mission.

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And so that so that's what
started my Air Force career.

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And then I actually cross
trained into public affairs.

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And Usually you are in
different mission sets.

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I worked for Air Mobility Command.

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So, um, if you're not familiar
with the Air Force, those

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are the big, big gray planes.

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They take equipment, people,
things all around the world.

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We also do refueling.

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So that's what started off.

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I loved it.

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But ultimately I transitioned
from that into, I kind of became

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a little niche, niched a bit.

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And I was in special operations.

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So I was a special operations public
affairs officer for most of like

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my, the rest of my Air Force career.

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Um, So that is, uh, for Air Force,
that's like Air Force Special Tactics,

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um, Special Operations Aircraft, uh,
super fun, and then, uh, but my favorite

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assignment was I spent two years in
South Korea and I worked in, uh, a

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joint military assignment with Special
Operations, so joint being you work

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with all the different service branches,
and, uh, so I worked with Navy SEALs,

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Green Berets, Air Force Special Tactics,
MARSOC, um, Air Force, or not Air Force,

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um, Army PSYOPs, like everybody, it was,
it was fun, it was really, really fun.

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So, okay, I'm trying to figure this
out, because you moved here a year ago.

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Oh, okay, now it all makes sense.

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Because I was like, why did you come here?

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And then you just, you already said it.

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Yes.

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Yes, I'm now a defense contractor.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Okay.

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Wow.

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Okay.

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You just kind of broke
my brain a little bit.

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I'm sorry.

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Yeah, there's a You know, you did
like really cool stuff, but I didn't

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realize it was like really cool stuff.

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My jaw was just like, uh, the
whole time you were talking.

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That's incredible.

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Wow.

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Okay.

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So do you feel like
there's a lot of pressure?

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To like from, from on myself
right now or from where?

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It depends.

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I think, um, I, so I am originally,
there's, there's more backstory here.

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I'm originally from the Philippines.

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And so my mom and I, so
my mom immigrated here.

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I technically believe I was
like a naturalized citizen.

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My dad was an American citizen.

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Um, but I grew up with just a lot of
like Asian, um, Like Asian influences.

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So like some of those stereotypes
are rooted in some truth there.

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So like tiger mom aspects,
high expectations.

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Um, and if you've ever been a child of
an immigrant, um, there's a, there's,

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there's a different level of pressure
there to succeed and exceed all standards.

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And, and I think I kind of did that.

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Um, I mean, Yeah.

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I mean, I was definitely like growing up.

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I was like a straight A student and
an advanced placement honors classes.

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I was the first, uh, I come from a big
military family, predominantly Navy, but I

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was the first, uh, women's service member.

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And I was the first officer.

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So just doing a lot of stuff with that.

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Um, and I think any pressure that I feel
now is more on myself because I am a mom.

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I'm a single mom.

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Um, I'm in my thirties.

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I'm a defense contractor.

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So I would say any pressure
that I feel now is just solely

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a kid, like I, my own problem.

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Hey, at least admit it.

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Um, so, and then my platform is
take care of yourself, which like

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sounds really, really simple.

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So I have to ask what is
something you've done recently?

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Cause you, that's a lot of stress.

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From a lot of different sources in your
life, like I've been, I was a single mom,

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um, my husband and I didn't get married
until my daughter was like eight, I think.

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Wow.

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Okay.

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And so like, I totally get dating
as a single mom is awful and you

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want to give the best to your kids
and make the most of the time that

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you have when you're with them.

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Right.

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Yes.

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You want to also be able to
do really cool and incredible

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things and have your own life.

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Mm hmm.

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So we take a pause.

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What have you done to
take care of yourself?

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What have you done for you?

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I think the ways that I've chosen to
take care of myself, it's multifaceted.

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Um, and on one aspect,
community is huge with me.

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That's actually how I found out about
the pageant is that, um, I'm in a

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small group in Bible study with,
uh, Kaylin Lippert and Abby McGee.

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Um, that's Mrs. Wasatch Front and, uh,
Mrs. Rocky Mountain in the pageant.

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And community has just been
so incredibly important.

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It's something you pick up on when
you're in the military too, because

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you're moving so much, you have to,
you find out your ways and things

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that helps you transition into this
new location and a new assignment.

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Uh, and so my community is super big.

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I'm.

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I would say I'm pretty extroverted.

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And so having those opportunities
to fill my cup with people who can

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pour into me, so, so important.

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So there's that aspect of it.

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Uh, whenever I have time with
my kids, I have taken so much

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pressure off myself in terms of
what that is supposed to look like.

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Yeah.

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I used to think like, I have to do all the
things like there was one point I had, I

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flew back from South Korea to, uh, they're
in New Mexico, but like Texas area and I

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was like, okay, we're going to hit up, um,
Amarillo, Lubbock, we're going to do this.

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They have all these Christmas festivals
and things and we're going to do

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everything, you know, and which was fun.

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It was kind of like a, we're
going to do all the things.

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No is not the word kind of thing.

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And, and, and there's a
time and a place for that.

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But then after that
experience, experience.

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I think one of the things that just
really sat with me is that my kids

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just wanted to spend time with me.

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They just wanted quality time.

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Uh, I mean, if we went to like a build
a bear or did something like, sure,

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that's fun, but that's extraneous.

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And it took so much
pressure off of myself.

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And I would say that, um, that was big
for me as just being like, they just want

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your presence and they want to create
memories that are genuine, intentional.

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They want their, their parent to.

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To be there for them.

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Yeah.

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And so, yeah, so, so community being
intentional with my time with my kids.

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And then, um, this, uh, this is, this
is really specific to my circumstances,

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but being a single parent and
being a single woman, my thirties,

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I've actually decided this year.

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And I share this so I can
be held accountable to it.

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I'm not on any dating apps this year.

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Uh, I might go on a date if somebody
asks me out, but I, um, I will say

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when I moved to Utah last year, I
had, you know, hope and sparkles in

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my eyes that something amazing was
going to happen here and amazing

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things did happen, but not with dating.

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And, and I think that I just recognized
by the end of the year that all of

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these different interactions and nuanced
discussions and dynamics and a lot

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of unhealthy behaviors from people.

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Just encouraged me that I'm
like, Hey, I don't need to put

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that kind of pressure on myself.

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I don't need to.

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I went on so many first dates,
Amanda, and it was, there was

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nothing, there was no fruit from that.

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Um, and yeah, yeah, online
dating is scary too.

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Um, yeah, and I think too that we
could go on a whole tangent about this.

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I think men have so much feedback and
critiques for women based on that.

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And for me, it's just like, hey,
you're, you're under a different

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lens than women are like, I am unsure
if this stranger that I'm meeting.

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Could harm me, or what baggage he brings,
or if he's a violent person, like those

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are like the scary aspects of it, and
the less intense, but also equally

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detrimental things, I'm just like,
hey, like, have you worked on yourself?

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Are you manipulative?

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Are you emotionally available?

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Are you like, there's all
these different things too.

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And then just the communication
styles and all that.

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I know.

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Part of my platform is focusing on the
importance of community and connection,

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because I think we're all starving
for connection, but people are going

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about it all the wrong ways and letting
this idea of loneliness feel a lot of

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unhealthy behaviors, unfortunately.

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Yes, I agree 100 percent and
when people show up kind of

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on social media, it's fake.

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They're creating attention.

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It's like a popularity contest.

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I really hope we can change that
because that's not what it should be.

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Like, I think that social media,
cause that was my, when I was public

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affairs for the air force and kind
of what I do now for, um, strategic

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communication aspects, like what
you're seeing is a highlight reel.

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Everybody wants to show their best
self because you know, if it's on

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the internet, it's on there forever.

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And so you want to show
like your best self.

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And then if you.

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Use social media at all for
like your income or your career

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prospects, then, then you're like,
well, how can I strategically use

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this narrative to my advantage?

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What kind of story or persona do
I have online versus in person?

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All these different things.

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And so, I mean, there's, there's unique
aspects of that that are just exhausting.

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Yeah, I'd rather we be real and be
authentic and like, I applaud you

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for not being on any dating apps.

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Because I met my husband on
a dating app, but like, we've

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been married, it'll be 10 years.

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Yay!

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The year that we've been married.

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Yay!

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That's amazing.

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But like, before that,
it was really scary.

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I went on a lot of, I went
on a lot of wonderful dates.

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I've been ghosted.

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I have had guys like, string me
along, and then like, disappear.

237
00:11:49,009 --> 00:11:55,379
Like it's, I've had shockers.

238
00:11:56,354 --> 00:11:57,494
Oh, oh yeah.

239
00:11:57,604 --> 00:11:58,064
Yeah.

240
00:11:58,884 --> 00:12:01,554
It's just very, it can be
very discouraging and I'm

241
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,024
not against dating apps.

242
00:12:03,334 --> 00:12:08,664
I think for me, I could recognize
that by the end of 2024 when you have

243
00:12:08,664 --> 00:12:12,744
these little nuance things happening
to you, whether it's being ghosted,

244
00:12:12,744 --> 00:12:14,284
I got stood up for the first time.

245
00:12:14,304 --> 00:12:18,044
That is my, my confidence
self was humbled.

246
00:12:18,434 --> 00:12:23,214
Um, I actually, we, he and I actually
had a, we're able to have a conversation

247
00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:24,904
in terms of like what happened there.

248
00:12:25,284 --> 00:12:28,904
Um, but I still technically
count it because I had tickets

249
00:12:28,904 --> 00:12:30,914
to a Utah hockey club game.

250
00:12:30,974 --> 00:12:33,734
And, um, and I was like, Oh, okay.

251
00:12:33,734 --> 00:12:35,924
I'm like, I could have literally
brought anybody else with me.

252
00:12:35,944 --> 00:12:36,474
My guy.

253
00:12:36,914 --> 00:12:38,724
That's not cool.

254
00:12:38,754 --> 00:12:42,314
And yeah, so that was
not, not the best, but.

255
00:12:43,259 --> 00:12:46,109
But I think by the end of the year,
one of the things that I just realized

256
00:12:46,129 --> 00:12:49,069
is that all these specific things that
happen from getting, you know, same

257
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:51,899
thing that you've described, if you're
getting, you know, strung along, getting

258
00:12:51,899 --> 00:12:55,799
ghosted, getting stood up, having really
unhealthy conversations, feeling less

259
00:12:55,799 --> 00:13:00,239
than, it felt like a thousand tiny
cuts, and by the end of the year, you're

260
00:13:00,239 --> 00:13:02,549
like bleeding out, because you don't
think of the moment like, oh, this

261
00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:06,379
isn't that big of a deal, it's, that's
okay, you'll get over it, do this.

262
00:13:07,179 --> 00:13:11,109
And so then I was just like, I
absolutely believe that you can find

263
00:13:11,109 --> 00:13:12,269
your person through a dating app.

264
00:13:12,309 --> 00:13:16,559
I just know for me, that was, that is
not what I'm going to do this year.

265
00:13:16,599 --> 00:13:19,639
I just, I'm like, I just did
not find it fruitful for me.

266
00:13:19,659 --> 00:13:20,649
And, um.

267
00:13:20,649 --> 00:13:22,589
We create an authentic connection.

268
00:13:22,599 --> 00:13:22,859
Yeah.

269
00:13:23,009 --> 00:13:24,469
That isn't happening.

270
00:13:24,969 --> 00:13:25,179
Yeah.

271
00:13:25,249 --> 00:13:25,559
Right.

272
00:13:25,829 --> 00:13:28,339
So if you're a single dude out there
who wants to go on a date with me,

273
00:13:28,339 --> 00:13:30,869
you're going to have to slide into
my DMs and make yourself known.

274
00:13:30,929 --> 00:13:31,849
Because I'm not out there.

275
00:13:32,069 --> 00:13:32,449
You're going figure it out.

276
00:13:32,489 --> 00:13:34,909
Well, man.

277
00:13:36,269 --> 00:13:37,229
I'm proud of you.

278
00:13:37,439 --> 00:13:38,099
Thank you.

279
00:13:38,544 --> 00:13:39,204
I'm proud of me too.

280
00:13:39,484 --> 00:13:39,884
proud of you.

281
00:13:40,669 --> 00:13:44,829
Well, and I like, oh, I had
so much stress in my life.

282
00:13:44,829 --> 00:13:45,699
I quit my job

283
00:13:47,989 --> 00:13:50,659
'cause I didn't have time to go to
doctor's appointments or anything.

284
00:13:50,659 --> 00:13:50,719
Yeah.

285
00:13:50,749 --> 00:13:54,199
And I was getting so like, I
will get so sick sometimes.

286
00:13:54,349 --> 00:13:55,279
Not anymore.

287
00:13:55,949 --> 00:14:00,979
I was missing enough work that like
I had to have my pay doc, right?

288
00:14:01,249 --> 00:14:06,539
Mm-hmm . But now like I can
be more present with my kids.

289
00:14:07,414 --> 00:14:09,004
And I can be there when they need me.

290
00:14:09,734 --> 00:14:10,034
I love that.

291
00:14:10,044 --> 00:14:12,574
And they get excited when
I pick them up from school.

292
00:14:12,594 --> 00:14:16,414
And it's not like, oh, mom's at
the school program because I'm

293
00:14:16,424 --> 00:14:17,964
like running the show, right?

294
00:14:18,484 --> 00:14:20,474
I can just be there.

295
00:14:20,804 --> 00:14:21,414
Mm hmm.

296
00:14:21,414 --> 00:14:22,124
Just be mom.

297
00:14:22,144 --> 00:14:25,074
And I've never been able to do that
because I've been working and working

298
00:14:25,074 --> 00:14:26,644
and working and working and working.

299
00:14:26,714 --> 00:14:27,854
Like I've never.

300
00:14:28,514 --> 00:14:29,684
Not worked.

301
00:14:29,734 --> 00:14:30,264
Yes.

302
00:14:30,634 --> 00:14:33,924
I bet that's incredibly fulfilling to
have that kind of immediate feedback

303
00:14:33,924 --> 00:14:39,974
of like, Hey, I took this stressor off
me and now I can just enjoy the moment.

304
00:14:40,084 --> 00:14:43,954
I have so much more intentionality
to be in this moment, in this

305
00:14:43,954 --> 00:14:46,884
space and understanding and
appreciating what this is.

306
00:14:47,299 --> 00:14:51,699
Well, and it, like, it has its
good and bad things for sure.

307
00:14:53,739 --> 00:15:01,679
Like, I am having to face some demons that
I wasn't ready to face and like, figure

308
00:15:01,679 --> 00:15:05,289
out what being a mom even looks like.

309
00:15:05,379 --> 00:15:05,669
Yeah.

310
00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:10,964
My memories with my mom, she was just like
depressed and in bed all the time, and

311
00:15:10,964 --> 00:15:15,434
she didn't want to really invest in me.

312
00:15:16,864 --> 00:15:20,154
Once I was like old enough to
go play at my friend's house, I

313
00:15:20,154 --> 00:15:21,384
was always at my friend's house.

314
00:15:23,054 --> 00:15:26,434
And it wasn't that she didn't love
me, it was that like, she didn't

315
00:15:26,444 --> 00:15:31,464
have tools and resources and whatever
she needed, and my dad was traveling

316
00:15:31,474 --> 00:15:33,384
and working, and she was depressed.

317
00:15:33,924 --> 00:15:34,254
Yeah.

318
00:15:34,784 --> 00:15:42,554
One of the things that I've recently
reflected on is this idea that to, to, to

319
00:15:42,564 --> 00:15:46,434
be in a position now where we can extend
grace and understanding to our parents

320
00:15:46,444 --> 00:15:49,684
because they were first time parents too.

321
00:15:49,704 --> 00:15:51,654
This was their first journey
going through it as well and

322
00:15:51,654 --> 00:15:52,874
they're learning along the way.

323
00:15:53,224 --> 00:15:57,644
Um, because I, I think I have so much
more appreciation for, especially

324
00:15:57,674 --> 00:16:01,989
my mom because You know, she left
everything she knew in the Philippines.

325
00:16:01,999 --> 00:16:02,989
All of her family's there.

326
00:16:02,999 --> 00:16:06,409
She went to a completely
foreign country with like a U.

327
00:16:06,409 --> 00:16:07,209
S. sailor.

328
00:16:07,249 --> 00:16:10,319
She was in her early 20s
bringing a kid along.

329
00:16:10,349 --> 00:16:10,739
Yeah.

330
00:16:11,169 --> 00:16:14,049
And me, and I have the
funniest stories of that too.

331
00:16:14,049 --> 00:16:16,889
I was a, I was a very feisty little kid.

332
00:16:17,624 --> 00:16:22,814
And she just, she's just an
incredible person, but I had so many

333
00:16:22,814 --> 00:16:25,804
critiques of that growing up and
being like, why are you like this?

334
00:16:25,804 --> 00:16:27,134
Why are you doing it this way?

335
00:16:27,494 --> 00:16:31,284
Um, and I, and some bitterness and
probably some harbored some anger from it

336
00:16:31,314 --> 00:16:33,244
being like, why are you so critical of me?

337
00:16:33,544 --> 00:16:38,324
I'm here to razzle dazzle and
like, just accept that, like, this

338
00:16:38,324 --> 00:16:39,704
is, this is what I'm doing here.

339
00:16:39,934 --> 00:16:42,054
And then I think it's frustrating to, um.

340
00:16:42,979 --> 00:16:45,419
Because you could feel like
you were the perfect kid.

341
00:16:45,429 --> 00:16:47,359
You were doing all the things correctly.

342
00:16:47,699 --> 00:16:53,309
Um, you know, I wasn't, I don't, I don't
think I got a boyfriend until after my

343
00:16:53,309 --> 00:16:55,904
like, Senior year was like that summer.

344
00:16:55,904 --> 00:16:57,334
I was like, see, look at me.

345
00:16:57,374 --> 00:16:58,184
I'm, I'm waiting.

346
00:16:58,184 --> 00:16:59,434
I'm doing all the correct things.

347
00:16:59,434 --> 00:17:04,034
I'm not bringing shame to the family
boxes, but I still felt that there was

348
00:17:04,044 --> 00:17:05,884
like a lot of, um, that was really hard.

349
00:17:05,884 --> 00:17:11,994
And I think until I became a mom and
she and I've had really amazing recent

350
00:17:11,994 --> 00:17:15,514
conversations, it's not perfect, but
we've had, we've opened up to each other

351
00:17:15,514 --> 00:17:19,674
a lot and kind of navigated like, Hey,
when you approach life like this way or

352
00:17:19,674 --> 00:17:23,444
critique me this way, this is how I feel
like I don't feel like it's helpful.

353
00:17:23,744 --> 00:17:29,124
Or productive or like, have you,
um, have you considered this?

354
00:17:29,124 --> 00:17:32,414
Like she came out to visit in August.

355
00:17:32,424 --> 00:17:40,224
Cause I had like a minor surgery and she
is so, so amazing at like, this is going

356
00:17:40,224 --> 00:17:43,034
to sound weird, like, at like getting
stuff organized and cleaned around

357
00:17:43,034 --> 00:17:45,334
the house where I'm pretty confident.

358
00:17:45,859 --> 00:17:47,779
that I have ADHD.

359
00:17:47,779 --> 00:17:49,699
I know that's like, comes
off as a self diagnosis.

360
00:17:49,929 --> 00:17:53,849
However, in my defense, when I
was active duty, I had our special

361
00:17:53,849 --> 00:17:55,779
operations command, like, evaluate me.

362
00:17:56,089 --> 00:17:59,649
And they're like, Oh, hold on one second.

363
00:18:00,299 --> 00:18:01,769
Oh, pause.

364
00:18:02,029 --> 00:18:02,399
Okay.

365
00:18:03,909 --> 00:18:04,269
Okay.

366
00:18:04,339 --> 00:18:09,119
So I have like 10 minutes
left because it's zoom.

367
00:18:11,359 --> 00:18:14,619
So we can like edit this part, but okay.

368
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:15,449
Okay.

369
00:18:15,449 --> 00:18:15,709
Okay.

370
00:18:15,889 --> 00:18:16,289
Noted.

371
00:18:16,309 --> 00:18:16,729
You're fine.

372
00:18:16,739 --> 00:18:17,149
No worries.

373
00:18:17,739 --> 00:18:17,959
Sorry.

374
00:18:18,909 --> 00:18:19,729
No, no, you're okay.

375
00:18:20,674 --> 00:18:24,874
Um, but yeah, so I was at a special
operations command and getting, like,

376
00:18:24,874 --> 00:18:29,454
evaluated for ADHD because I asked to,
because I was like, I'm pretty sure

377
00:18:29,494 --> 00:18:33,054
I've got some stuff, like, I'm a little
neuro spicy, and they're like, oh,

378
00:18:33,094 --> 00:18:36,204
like, you actually, like, hyper focus
more than anyone, so we don't think

379
00:18:36,204 --> 00:18:40,454
you do, and I was like, hold on, isn't
that, like, That's what it is, though.

380
00:18:40,514 --> 00:18:43,442
That is, and so I was like, what?

381
00:18:43,442 --> 00:18:48,029
And so, But then the air force, uh,
my, the air force was like, Hey, we

382
00:18:48,029 --> 00:18:51,139
don't necessarily want to test you
for this because if it does come back,

383
00:18:51,139 --> 00:18:54,429
we don't want you to like limit your
opportunities in the active duty.

384
00:18:54,839 --> 00:18:59,859
So, so I probably have
ADHD and I just don't know.

385
00:19:00,109 --> 00:19:02,289
I am like really confident I do.

386
00:19:02,559 --> 00:19:04,269
I was recently diagnosed.

387
00:19:04,864 --> 00:19:10,224
And so I, uh, but she came in and the,
the point of that though was she came

388
00:19:10,224 --> 00:19:13,334
in and she had all these critiques
and I think I like started to cry

389
00:19:13,334 --> 00:19:14,844
and I was like, mom, I'm exhausted.

390
00:19:14,894 --> 00:19:16,414
Like I just moved to Utah.

391
00:19:16,424 --> 00:19:17,414
I bought a house.

392
00:19:17,694 --> 00:19:19,254
I'm doing single mom things.

393
00:19:19,254 --> 00:19:20,564
I'm a defense contractor.

394
00:19:20,564 --> 00:19:22,984
I live over here and
the base is over here.

395
00:19:22,984 --> 00:19:24,574
And, and, uh, like.

396
00:19:25,189 --> 00:19:26,469
Cost of living is expensive.

397
00:19:26,469 --> 00:19:27,469
And I just like laid it all out.

398
00:19:27,479 --> 00:19:29,419
She's like, I know she's
like, I'm really proud of you.

399
00:19:29,449 --> 00:19:31,059
And I know you're handling a lot.

400
00:19:31,059 --> 00:19:33,529
It was, it was amazing.

401
00:19:33,529 --> 00:19:38,119
But I think like parents are so quick to
critique without understanding that like

402
00:19:38,119 --> 00:19:41,319
your kids are oftentimes having like the
weight of the world on their shoulders

403
00:19:41,349 --> 00:19:42,789
and they're doing their very best.

404
00:19:42,789 --> 00:19:49,129
And where we are today is not
what 30, like the economy.

405
00:19:50,164 --> 00:19:52,464
life expectations,
everything is different.

406
00:19:52,694 --> 00:19:56,204
So, so it's just, it's a
lot harder to navigate.

407
00:19:56,234 --> 00:19:59,624
And, um, but yeah, that was, that
was an interesting conversation

408
00:19:59,624 --> 00:20:00,624
to do that with my mom.

409
00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:01,859
Oh my gosh.

410
00:20:01,969 --> 00:20:04,349
Well, and here's a segue, if you will.

411
00:20:05,029 --> 00:20:10,639
The last conversation I had with
my mom was take care of yourself.

412
00:20:10,799 --> 00:20:16,449
And it was like my first week back
at teaching full time after I had

413
00:20:16,509 --> 00:20:18,189
gotten shingles through my face.

414
00:20:18,569 --> 00:20:23,579
And I like finally didn't need a
witch's hat and sunglasses to see

415
00:20:23,779 --> 00:20:26,389
inside anymore with the lights off.

416
00:20:26,439 --> 00:20:29,899
Like I could, I could finally
drive myself to work again.

417
00:20:30,059 --> 00:20:30,449
Right?

418
00:20:30,529 --> 00:20:30,829
Yeah.

419
00:20:31,489 --> 00:20:36,289
Um, and I'm in the bathtub and it's
my mom's birthday and I talk to

420
00:20:36,289 --> 00:20:40,039
her about how the week is gone and
she's telling me to take care of

421
00:20:40,059 --> 00:20:44,279
myself because this all happened
because I had way too much stress.

422
00:20:44,549 --> 00:20:45,009
Yeah.

423
00:20:45,089 --> 00:20:45,379
Yeah.

424
00:20:45,859 --> 00:20:48,839
Um, and a week later she passed away.

425
00:20:49,379 --> 00:20:50,019
Oh my gosh.

426
00:20:50,029 --> 00:20:50,979
I'm so sorry.

427
00:20:52,449 --> 00:20:55,559
Well, I don't know if thank
you is the right thing to say.

428
00:20:56,149 --> 00:21:01,529
Um, and then I signed up for the pageant
and that was when I did it last season.

429
00:21:01,849 --> 00:21:02,199
Uh huh.

430
00:21:02,559 --> 00:21:06,919
But then the end of the school year
this last year is when I lost my dad

431
00:21:08,629 --> 00:21:16,149
and he his dad actually, um, he was
in the Air Force when he was born,

432
00:21:16,419 --> 00:21:20,899
and he was in the Panama Canal 1942.

433
00:21:21,199 --> 00:21:21,619
Wow.

434
00:21:22,569 --> 00:21:22,999
Yeah.

435
00:21:23,119 --> 00:21:23,299
Yeah.

436
00:21:23,359 --> 00:21:26,609
There's all kinds of, I'll have to
send you, maybe if we get this up

437
00:21:26,609 --> 00:21:30,429
on Instagram, I can post some of the
pictures, but I just have, I have

438
00:21:30,429 --> 00:21:35,349
some really beautiful pictures from,
um, when my grandma and grandpa were

439
00:21:35,349 --> 00:21:37,499
like first married and that's amazing.

440
00:21:37,739 --> 00:21:38,799
It's so cool.

441
00:21:38,809 --> 00:21:42,309
But I have, so I have like that
little bit of military history.

442
00:21:42,309 --> 00:21:44,049
My dad didn't do any of that, but.

443
00:21:45,334 --> 00:21:47,024
Here I am doing the pageant again.

444
00:21:47,434 --> 00:21:50,394
I'm trying to figure out what
the heck it even means to

445
00:21:50,394 --> 00:21:51,934
take care of yourself, right?

446
00:21:52,664 --> 00:21:58,134
And the pageant has,
like, changed my life.

447
00:21:58,404 --> 00:21:59,414
And I know you're new to it.

448
00:21:59,414 --> 00:22:00,524
You just signed up.

449
00:22:00,654 --> 00:22:01,974
You talked about Caelan.

450
00:22:02,584 --> 00:22:04,284
Um, Caelan Lippert.

451
00:22:05,314 --> 00:22:05,994
I love you.

452
00:22:06,074 --> 00:22:07,464
She's going to get on this podcast.

453
00:22:08,854 --> 00:22:10,154
She was just on mine.

454
00:22:10,164 --> 00:22:11,514
So her episode has to release.

455
00:22:11,514 --> 00:22:11,814
Yeah.

456
00:22:12,054 --> 00:22:14,284
She is so gosh, I love her.

457
00:22:14,304 --> 00:22:15,194
She was my friend.

458
00:22:15,204 --> 00:22:18,814
She was like my little
shepherd through a pageant.

459
00:22:18,834 --> 00:22:23,234
And then she was like,
I got all those videos.

460
00:22:23,234 --> 00:22:25,044
And I was like, pageant mom, Caitlin.

461
00:22:25,824 --> 00:22:26,984
She's just amazing.

462
00:22:26,984 --> 00:22:27,934
She's such a light.

463
00:22:27,954 --> 00:22:32,114
And what I think is so cool about
her, which is not to negate.

464
00:22:32,224 --> 00:22:35,384
Any of the love and wisdom.

465
00:22:35,384 --> 00:22:36,664
She's so, she's so young.

466
00:22:36,674 --> 00:22:40,804
She's in her early twenties and she's
just so, um, she's just so open to

467
00:22:40,804 --> 00:22:42,894
learning and other people's perspectives.

468
00:22:42,924 --> 00:22:44,504
And she passionate.

469
00:22:44,644 --> 00:22:45,174
Exactly.

470
00:22:45,174 --> 00:22:49,604
She is such a light and she loves people
so hard in the best ways possible.

471
00:22:49,604 --> 00:22:52,374
And, and Kaelin, you better be listening.

472
00:22:52,374 --> 00:22:54,924
We're just pouring,
we're gassing you a girl.

473
00:22:55,599 --> 00:22:58,509
Um, but she's also like for,
for your listener, she's got the

474
00:22:58,509 --> 00:22:59,959
cutest little Southern accent.

475
00:22:59,969 --> 00:23:01,189
I'm obsessed with it.

476
00:23:01,429 --> 00:23:02,309
I'm a girl.

477
00:23:02,579 --> 00:23:02,789
Yeah.

478
00:23:02,789 --> 00:23:04,949
She's just, she's just
the sweetest person.

479
00:23:04,979 --> 00:23:08,109
And, uh, whenever I run into
her husband, Cody, cause I'm

480
00:23:08,109 --> 00:23:09,389
a veteran, he's active duty.

481
00:23:09,569 --> 00:23:13,799
I'm always like, you better know
what you got because she's amazing.

482
00:23:14,189 --> 00:23:17,019
I was like, she's, she's just like
one of the best people I've ever met.

483
00:23:17,249 --> 00:23:18,209
He's incredible.

484
00:23:18,729 --> 00:23:19,179
Okay.

485
00:23:19,209 --> 00:23:20,619
We're running out of time.

486
00:23:21,009 --> 00:23:21,309
Okay.

487
00:23:21,389 --> 00:23:23,319
I've been drinking out of my.

488
00:23:24,739 --> 00:23:28,379
Detective Paul Hoovesmug,
but you need to show us yours

489
00:23:28,429 --> 00:23:30,039
because we were chatting earlier.

490
00:23:30,109 --> 00:23:32,989
All right, let me, let me preface
the story right, right quick.

491
00:23:33,099 --> 00:23:36,799
Okay, so I was stationed in Korea
for two years and we would do

492
00:23:36,799 --> 00:23:40,909
these Korean exercises with like,
like military operation exercises.

493
00:23:40,909 --> 00:23:42,379
Really common, you do
them in the States too.

494
00:23:42,799 --> 00:23:46,429
And this was just this like amazing
effort between coalition partners.

495
00:23:46,589 --> 00:23:48,929
So we're, we're working with all these
different countries and everything.

496
00:23:49,249 --> 00:23:50,349
And we would do this twice a year.

497
00:23:50,349 --> 00:23:52,869
And this was my first
time brand new to Korea.

498
00:23:53,269 --> 00:23:56,649
Um, we do this exercise, it's,
it's a couple weeks long, you're,

499
00:23:56,649 --> 00:23:57,609
you're in the thick of it.

500
00:23:57,619 --> 00:24:01,509
So you're hot, sweaty, whether you're in
staff meetings or not, it's just like,

501
00:24:01,509 --> 00:24:04,559
it's hot, you know, you're just like,
Oh man, I, and you don't look your best.

502
00:24:04,579 --> 00:24:08,189
You start shifting to like, like
whatever you need to do to get there.

503
00:24:08,189 --> 00:24:08,359
Right.

504
00:24:08,789 --> 00:24:13,919
And so, all of a sudden, after like a
week of doing all this work, I'm in my

505
00:24:13,919 --> 00:24:20,199
glasses, I'm in like, you know, baby hairs
going astray bun, but you know, a military

506
00:24:20,199 --> 00:24:23,589
bun, and they're like, let's go take a
picture all together, and I'm thinking

507
00:24:23,589 --> 00:24:25,279
like, anything for the partnership, right?

508
00:24:25,279 --> 00:24:28,289
We're trying to be good
partners, and, and I don't know.

509
00:24:28,509 --> 00:24:32,569
What's about to happen with this photo,
but we take this picture right y'all

510
00:24:32,639 --> 00:24:36,239
with the quickness All of a sudden
they're like just wait here a minute.

511
00:24:36,239 --> 00:24:40,499
We have something for you and I was
like, okay Y'all they made this.

512
00:24:40,509 --> 00:24:41,369
Can you see?

513
00:24:41,989 --> 00:24:42,779
Can you hold on?

514
00:24:42,909 --> 00:24:45,889
Oh Oh my gosh that highlights
my face so beautifully.

515
00:24:45,939 --> 00:24:52,464
That's me right there So my boyfriend
at the time was like, that's not you.

516
00:24:52,534 --> 00:24:53,444
That's Pat.

517
00:24:53,824 --> 00:24:59,664
And so, Pat has become my alter work
ego of, I'm trying to rotate it.

518
00:24:59,704 --> 00:25:00,594
I promise I'm smart.

519
00:25:00,604 --> 00:25:01,064
There we go.

520
00:25:01,064 --> 00:25:03,644
Oh my gosh, that's you!

521
00:25:06,634 --> 00:25:10,824
See, and I would have never known looking
at you that you were ever in the military.

522
00:25:11,154 --> 00:25:12,034
Oh, I know.

523
00:25:12,034 --> 00:25:12,534
It's funny.

524
00:25:12,554 --> 00:25:15,754
Like my, my regular Kim persona
is vastly different than that.

525
00:25:15,784 --> 00:25:17,174
I promise it got better though.

526
00:25:17,529 --> 00:25:19,519
So like, again, I've got several of these.

527
00:25:19,529 --> 00:25:20,769
See, like I got better.

528
00:25:20,809 --> 00:25:22,249
I was more prepared this time.

529
00:25:22,249 --> 00:25:25,409
But I was like, you've got to be joking.

530
00:25:25,419 --> 00:25:30,629
That's emblazoned on a mug for me to
keep forever is me like sweaty, baby

531
00:25:30,629 --> 00:25:33,109
hairs, glasses, working, working hard.

532
00:25:33,119 --> 00:25:35,749
I was working hard, but I'm like, Oh gosh.

533
00:25:35,749 --> 00:25:36,789
And so, yeah, that's Pat.

534
00:25:36,819 --> 00:25:40,289
This is what I drink fond memories
and drink my hot cocoa and coffee.

535
00:25:40,289 --> 00:25:41,859
I love it so much.

536
00:25:41,899 --> 00:25:42,269
Okay.

537
00:25:42,339 --> 00:25:43,549
I'm going to hold this up.

538
00:25:43,779 --> 00:25:45,259
I only have a couple minutes left.

539
00:25:45,629 --> 00:25:49,409
I'm not going to show you the front
because we're going to do your podcast.

540
00:25:51,449 --> 00:25:57,009
But my face, my face is on this shirt
and I have a, I have some extras.

541
00:25:58,089 --> 00:26:02,239
So stay tuned and you're going to
have to get over to Kim's podcast.

542
00:26:02,279 --> 00:26:04,439
Kim, what is your podcast called?

543
00:26:04,559 --> 00:26:04,859
Okay.

544
00:26:04,859 --> 00:26:06,689
My podcast is called Highly Favored.

545
00:26:07,029 --> 00:26:11,429
It is part of my platform and ministry too
with the pageant, but it is an opportunity

546
00:26:11,429 --> 00:26:15,739
for us to share stories of resiliency and
then in turn build communities together

547
00:26:15,759 --> 00:26:19,839
because, um, I think we're all starving
for connection and it's a really great

548
00:26:19,839 --> 00:26:23,559
way to remind ourselves of the humanity
of others and to feel less alone.

549
00:26:24,089 --> 00:26:24,289
Perfect.

550
00:26:24,589 --> 00:26:25,649
How can we find you?

551
00:26:26,269 --> 00:26:28,029
Um, you can find me on Instagram.

552
00:26:28,029 --> 00:26:30,139
I think it's at Kim underscore Chado.

553
00:26:30,189 --> 00:26:33,539
I could be leading you down a wild goose
chase, but, uh, I'm pretty sure that's it.

554
00:26:34,059 --> 00:26:35,969
And then, yes, my podcast
is highly favored.

555
00:26:36,199 --> 00:26:39,149
I am, like, officially on all
major podcasting platforms

556
00:26:39,149 --> 00:26:40,279
now, so you can find me.

557
00:26:40,539 --> 00:26:41,849
Um, we got really funny stories.

558
00:26:41,879 --> 00:26:42,829
I think I'm funny.

559
00:26:42,939 --> 00:26:43,739
They're really cool stories, too.

560
00:26:43,739 --> 00:26:45,089
I know, I know you are.

561
00:26:47,279 --> 00:26:48,639
Come over and see Pat!

562
00:26:48,639 --> 00:26:50,339
No, don't do it.

563
00:26:51,014 --> 00:26:53,494
oh, if you're watching on
YouTube, that was awful.

564
00:26:53,504 --> 00:26:58,764
We're wearing different clothes because
we had a kind of abrupt ending to our

565
00:26:58,774 --> 00:27:00,664
episode and I was like, that wasn't fair.

566
00:27:00,664 --> 00:27:02,044
I wanted to talk to Kim more.

567
00:27:03,594 --> 00:27:04,574
So here we are.

568
00:27:04,574 --> 00:27:06,014
Welcome back.

569
00:27:06,504 --> 00:27:10,254
I think we're maybe going to
just put this in one episode.

570
00:27:10,884 --> 00:27:11,324
Okay.

571
00:27:11,614 --> 00:27:13,574
So we'll just go like boop boop.

572
00:27:14,304 --> 00:27:14,504
Okay.

573
00:27:15,659 --> 00:27:19,919
You did not, we definitely did not
have enough time to chat, and I finally

574
00:27:19,919 --> 00:27:24,729
bought my subscription, whatever, so we
can chat however long we want, kind of.

575
00:27:25,009 --> 00:27:25,589
Fancy.

576
00:27:25,939 --> 00:27:27,849
Yeah, that sounds like a great time.

577
00:27:28,169 --> 00:27:28,819
I know.

578
00:27:28,949 --> 00:27:32,059
I don't even remember what we were
talking about, because then we

579
00:27:32,059 --> 00:27:33,279
jumped over and we did your podcast.

580
00:27:34,424 --> 00:27:34,894
Mm hmm.

581
00:27:35,674 --> 00:27:36,314
We sure did.

582
00:27:36,714 --> 00:27:40,094
Look, I have the resurrection of Pat.

583
00:27:40,474 --> 00:27:42,004
Oh my gosh!

584
00:27:42,014 --> 00:27:42,594
Pat the Magnet.

585
00:27:43,944 --> 00:27:44,544
That's me.

586
00:27:45,624 --> 00:27:46,674
I'm like, I'll zoom in.

587
00:27:47,204 --> 00:27:48,934
You're beautiful.

588
00:27:49,514 --> 00:27:51,594
This is Kim in boss mode.

589
00:27:51,614 --> 00:27:55,544
This is me working hard in
South Korea for the information

590
00:27:55,714 --> 00:28:00,654
environment to let our adversaries
against the U. S. know what's up.

591
00:28:00,954 --> 00:28:01,644
Yeah.

592
00:28:02,184 --> 00:28:03,984
You get it.

593
00:28:04,064 --> 00:28:04,664
Here, look.

594
00:28:05,014 --> 00:28:06,734
And then this is what I was showing off.

595
00:28:06,734 --> 00:28:06,794
You get it.

596
00:28:08,184 --> 00:28:13,794
On yours, but if you want to hear about
that, you're just going to go have

597
00:28:13,794 --> 00:28:18,344
to listen to yeah, favorite podcast.

598
00:28:18,944 --> 00:28:20,184
Come visit my podcast.

599
00:28:20,184 --> 00:28:21,014
We'd love to have you.

600
00:28:21,284 --> 00:28:21,694
Yeah.

601
00:28:21,694 --> 00:28:23,364
You've been doing some great interviews.

602
00:28:23,434 --> 00:28:24,714
It's been kind of fun.

603
00:28:24,734 --> 00:28:27,364
I'm trying to remember how long
ago it was that we recorded

604
00:28:27,364 --> 00:28:29,969
like the first half of our wait.

605
00:28:29,969 --> 00:28:30,768
No, nevermind.

606
00:28:30,768 --> 00:28:32,364
It doesn't say anyway.

607
00:28:32,364 --> 00:28:32,764
Yeah.

608
00:28:34,524 --> 00:28:35,324
It was a couple of weeks ago.

609
00:28:35,729 --> 00:28:36,049
Yeah.

610
00:28:36,079 --> 00:28:42,409
So every I've had two weeks where like
the entire week is every single day

611
00:28:42,759 --> 00:28:46,639
is a different contestant in either
the Miss Utah for America strong or

612
00:28:46,639 --> 00:28:49,179
Mrs. Utah America, Mrs. Utah American.

613
00:28:49,669 --> 00:28:51,459
Um, and so it's been fun.

614
00:28:51,469 --> 00:28:54,979
It has been an absolute blast to
kind of just get to know so many

615
00:28:54,999 --> 00:28:58,459
of the contestants and I have more
coming up and I think you do too.

616
00:28:58,459 --> 00:29:03,459
So it's just been like, it's been a
really great aspect of like the pageant

617
00:29:03,459 --> 00:29:08,499
experience because I know for me, uh,
well this is my first time going through

618
00:29:08,499 --> 00:29:12,229
it, but I know for me every time we meet
up it's so nice to be like, it feels

619
00:29:12,229 --> 00:29:15,929
like you're cultivating these friendships
online and then when we get together

620
00:29:15,929 --> 00:29:19,379
like, oh my god, here you are, you
know, and we get to spend time together.

621
00:29:19,379 --> 00:29:22,049
Like, we just saw each
other, what, Tuesday?

622
00:29:22,079 --> 00:29:22,729
No, Monday.

623
00:29:22,759 --> 00:29:23,019
Right?

624
00:29:23,019 --> 00:29:23,439
Monday?

625
00:29:23,839 --> 00:29:23,999
Yeah.

626
00:29:24,089 --> 00:29:24,729
Or is that Tuesday?

627
00:29:24,899 --> 00:29:25,319
Yes.

628
00:29:25,499 --> 00:29:26,639
For the WOW event.

629
00:29:26,829 --> 00:29:27,179
Oh yeah!

630
00:29:27,669 --> 00:29:28,579
I was talking.

631
00:29:28,999 --> 00:29:33,839
And, and I was just like, it's so good
to see people in person, but it's also,

632
00:29:33,839 --> 00:29:39,179
it's Like, uh, like this weird alternate
reality because we see each other online

633
00:29:39,179 --> 00:29:43,169
and in group me and in, you know, band
and all these different places and I'm

634
00:29:43,169 --> 00:29:45,059
like, oh yeah, in person, here we go.

635
00:29:46,569 --> 00:29:50,269
It's kind of cool because like, we
don't, the way that we show, I feel

636
00:29:50,269 --> 00:29:53,859
like anyway, that we show up in all
those apps is like not any different

637
00:29:53,859 --> 00:29:55,149
than we would show up in person.

638
00:29:55,819 --> 00:29:56,589
Oh, for sure.

639
00:29:56,589 --> 00:30:00,309
It's so like, you can, I
can hear everyone's voice as

640
00:30:00,309 --> 00:30:01,209
their messages come through.

641
00:30:01,384 --> 00:30:06,304
Through and you can see like their
little like isms and like their

642
00:30:06,304 --> 00:30:10,694
quirks and the things that they,
uh, kind of like either they're like

643
00:30:10,694 --> 00:30:16,224
speech kind of dynamics or, um, I
don't I, I totally get what you mean.

644
00:30:16,224 --> 00:30:20,034
It's just there's stuff where I'm like,
yeah, we absolutely show up in a virtual

645
00:30:20,044 --> 00:30:21,414
space just like we would in person.

646
00:30:21,414 --> 00:30:23,474
And it's, it's so much fun to
get to know people that way.

647
00:30:24,029 --> 00:30:28,459
Well, and you're so lucky too, like, I
didn't have this podcast last season,

648
00:30:28,459 --> 00:30:33,509
it didn't come out until after, and
you're doing your first round of the

649
00:30:33,509 --> 00:30:37,879
pageant, and you're able to get to
know all these ladies, and talk to

650
00:30:37,879 --> 00:30:42,839
them, and get to know them so much
better, cause like last year I totally

651
00:30:42,839 --> 00:30:47,749
felt like deer in the headlights,
and I was intimidated by everybody,

652
00:30:48,779 --> 00:30:51,739
and, but like, it was like I wasn't.

653
00:30:52,494 --> 00:30:54,334
I wasn't really getting to know people.

654
00:30:54,374 --> 00:30:59,244
Like I was just kind of, I was there to
experience and see what was going on.

655
00:30:59,244 --> 00:31:01,684
And I didn't really make a
whole lot of friendships until

656
00:31:02,144 --> 00:31:03,514
after the season was done.

657
00:31:04,104 --> 00:31:04,864
Interesting.

658
00:31:04,894 --> 00:31:09,554
Yeah, no, I could absolutely see that
because my, the start of my podcast,

659
00:31:10,149 --> 00:31:14,079
Was specifically for, and if you haven't
seen Highly Favored, come check us out.

660
00:31:14,439 --> 00:31:17,489
Um, but the start of Highly Favored, the
whole concept was it's my platform, which

661
00:31:17,489 --> 00:31:19,289
is of the same name for the pageant.

662
00:31:19,639 --> 00:31:23,949
And it's these stories of resiliency
and, you know, gritty people and

663
00:31:23,949 --> 00:31:27,069
how we can learn from one another
and help strengthen our communities.

664
00:31:27,429 --> 00:31:31,329
And so I was starting with
people completely unaffiliated

665
00:31:31,339 --> 00:31:32,519
with like pageant life.

666
00:31:32,549 --> 00:31:35,879
They're like, there were no queens, there
were no title holders, nothing like that.

667
00:31:36,619 --> 00:31:39,694
Um, But I had a similar experience
as I was going through where I'm

668
00:31:39,694 --> 00:31:45,324
like, we would have, um, I think it
was our Murray, Utah workshop, and

669
00:31:45,364 --> 00:31:51,624
I left there thinking like, I only
have so many more weeks realistically

670
00:31:51,624 --> 00:31:53,224
for me to get to know these women.

671
00:31:53,524 --> 00:31:56,654
And if I miss out on potential
friendships, which was a huge,

672
00:31:56,954 --> 00:31:59,544
like, motivating factor for me
to do the pageant is because I

673
00:31:59,544 --> 00:32:01,564
moved to Utah about a year ago.

674
00:32:01,944 --> 00:32:02,634
And.

675
00:32:03,019 --> 00:32:05,829
In order to like meet people and
build myself into this community.

676
00:32:05,829 --> 00:32:07,299
I'm like, you got to go make some friends.

677
00:32:07,679 --> 00:32:10,959
And if I only had so many weeks
left, I'm like, I really need

678
00:32:10,969 --> 00:32:14,379
to be intentional about how I'm
meeting women where they're at.

679
00:32:14,409 --> 00:32:17,559
And, you know, we were, you and I were
just talking before we started recording

680
00:32:17,569 --> 00:32:21,459
about, you know, where people are located
and we're being intentional to meet with

681
00:32:21,459 --> 00:32:23,219
people, but we are all across the state.

682
00:32:23,509 --> 00:32:26,759
And so that that's not necessarily
conducive to lifestyles

683
00:32:26,759 --> 00:32:27,729
and people's schedules.

684
00:32:27,739 --> 00:32:29,949
So the podcast was a really nice.

685
00:32:30,674 --> 00:32:33,444
Way to meet people where they're
at and to get to know people.

686
00:32:33,474 --> 00:32:38,684
And it's so fun too, because certain
women who were so quick to be like,

687
00:32:38,684 --> 00:32:40,264
Hey, I want to be on your podcast.

688
00:32:40,724 --> 00:32:43,274
Um, I was just like, Oh yeah, sure.

689
00:32:43,334 --> 00:32:43,914
And then.

690
00:32:44,444 --> 00:32:48,604
I got to know them so much better and all
these things about what motivates them.

691
00:32:49,004 --> 00:32:52,314
And it's just like this little safe
space for us to get to know each

692
00:32:52,314 --> 00:32:56,744
other and be vulnerable and share our
backgrounds and what, you know, drives us.

693
00:32:56,754 --> 00:32:58,804
And it's, it's just a
really cool opportunity.

694
00:32:58,804 --> 00:33:02,404
And I mean, I know I set
it up for myself, but had.

695
00:33:03,079 --> 00:33:06,409
I not left that Marie Utah workshop
that we had thinking like, Oh, I need

696
00:33:06,409 --> 00:33:07,589
to be more intentional about this.

697
00:33:07,619 --> 00:33:10,189
I don't think I would, I would have
missed out on opportunities to get

698
00:33:10,189 --> 00:33:11,509
to know people by this point in time.

699
00:33:11,819 --> 00:33:16,999
And I've had so many interviews
where, um, and they're so inspiring.

700
00:33:17,029 --> 00:33:19,089
Like the, the women that we're
competing with are incredible.

701
00:33:19,349 --> 00:33:20,979
And so it's just.

702
00:33:21,269 --> 00:33:24,639
Like, it saddens me to think that I could
have missed out on an opportunity, and I'm

703
00:33:24,639 --> 00:33:30,319
just grateful that I had the wherewithal
to be like, hey, jump on this and get

704
00:33:30,319 --> 00:33:33,939
to know your friends and the people
you're competing with so that after this

705
00:33:33,949 --> 00:33:39,119
pageant, because there's only going to be
one miss, and then, um, one misses Utah

706
00:33:39,119 --> 00:33:43,519
American, one misses Utah American, and
so what, three queens, and then everyone

707
00:33:43,519 --> 00:33:47,679
else are incredible women who are title
holders, but after this experience, if we

708
00:33:47,679 --> 00:33:51,569
haven't built that in and been intentional
about, you know, four, Forging those

709
00:33:51,569 --> 00:33:56,179
friendships, then, you know, we're going
to walk away from this experience with,

710
00:33:56,269 --> 00:34:00,049
with having missed an opportunity that
could have, it's networking, it's building

711
00:34:00,049 --> 00:34:01,279
friendships, it's building community.

712
00:34:01,279 --> 00:34:05,189
And if, if that's what I walk away with
is better, you know, better and more

713
00:34:05,189 --> 00:34:06,849
friendships, like that is a huge blessing.

714
00:34:06,849 --> 00:34:07,619
So I'm all about it.

715
00:34:08,289 --> 00:34:12,969
Um, it really helped me see that
they're all people just like me.

716
00:34:15,389 --> 00:34:15,689
Right?

717
00:34:15,749 --> 00:34:20,179
Like we all have stuff that we
go through and like, whatever

718
00:34:20,189 --> 00:34:24,449
chaos is happening in our lives,
but we're all, we're all people.

719
00:34:24,449 --> 00:34:28,289
They're just regular people with
families and their kids are crazy.

720
00:34:28,289 --> 00:34:31,109
And like, you know, whatever else.

721
00:34:31,679 --> 00:34:33,459
I totally agree.

722
00:34:33,509 --> 00:34:36,529
I think, uh, Stacey, I don't know if we
brought this up in our other episode,

723
00:34:36,899 --> 00:34:43,309
but Stacey Proctor, she brought up how,
uh, it was during like our favorite

724
00:34:43,329 --> 00:34:47,009
things Christmas gift exchange, and
she brought up how like, we were

725
00:34:47,009 --> 00:34:48,309
going to be in these room of women.

726
00:34:49,084 --> 00:34:53,984
And it's, it's so easy to compare
yourself from, like, the visuals of

727
00:34:53,984 --> 00:34:57,584
what you're seeing and how they're,
you know, upholding themselves and how

728
00:34:57,584 --> 00:34:59,094
they carry themselves and everything.

729
00:34:59,434 --> 00:35:05,114
And she was just like, don't do that, you
know, which is sometimes easier said than

730
00:35:05,114 --> 00:35:11,044
done, but she's, but I think she really
brought, um, a humanness to the experience

731
00:35:11,044 --> 00:35:14,124
where she's like, she addressed, like,
the elephant in the room, which is

732
00:35:14,124 --> 00:35:18,784
ironic because it could have been a white
elephant gift exchange, but, um, yeah.

733
00:35:19,299 --> 00:35:24,319
But the elephant in the room is that like
we were comparing like she knew that it's

734
00:35:24,329 --> 00:35:28,929
it's so hard to not be in these spaces
with incredible women and not think like,

735
00:35:29,219 --> 00:35:34,869
oh, she has this or on the negative side,
like, I have this more than she does.

736
00:35:35,289 --> 00:35:37,639
And, and, and to kind of like humble us.

737
00:35:38,154 --> 00:35:42,834
And, and a very healthy approach
and to, to be like, Hey, how, how

738
00:35:42,834 --> 00:35:44,094
can we connect with these women?

739
00:35:44,094 --> 00:35:45,654
How can we meet these
women where they're at?

740
00:35:45,664 --> 00:35:49,664
How can we just acknowledge that people
have their own insecurities and, and

741
00:35:49,664 --> 00:35:52,954
like the more that you get to know
women who are competing in a very

742
00:35:52,964 --> 00:35:58,454
visually public competition and to hear
what they're insecure about it, it, it

743
00:35:58,554 --> 00:36:01,514
does, it brings that humanness because
sometimes somebody will voice something

744
00:36:01,514 --> 00:36:02,884
and I'm like, are you kidding me?

745
00:36:03,144 --> 00:36:04,364
Like I become like.

746
00:36:05,574 --> 00:36:08,124
Sash sister extraordinaire, where
I'm like, I will not let you

747
00:36:08,144 --> 00:36:09,364
negatively talk about yourself.

748
00:36:09,364 --> 00:36:10,284
You are beautiful.

749
00:36:10,514 --> 00:36:14,604
You are strong you are like confident
all these things but in reality, like we

750
00:36:14,604 --> 00:36:20,234
all have our insecurities and I think one
of the cool things about The experience

751
00:36:20,244 --> 00:36:24,074
so far is that we can acknowledge that
and I have like people have acknowledged

752
00:36:24,074 --> 00:36:28,814
in my life But they will not let me sit
in that space they refuse to let me sit

753
00:36:28,814 --> 00:36:33,524
there and just dwell in like In these
things and not realize because I mean,

754
00:36:33,994 --> 00:36:39,514
oh, this is about to be like a TED talk
I think that like the amount of wasted

755
00:36:39,514 --> 00:36:45,284
time and energy that women put forth in
Sitting in spaces of our insecurities

756
00:36:45,284 --> 00:36:49,874
and what we think we are not able to
do When I was separating from the Air

757
00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:54,434
Force I had a moment like that and and
my faith is incredibly important to me.

758
00:36:54,434 --> 00:36:59,689
And so like in my prayer life My,
my relationship with God, one of the

759
00:36:59,689 --> 00:37:02,679
things that I kind of received in
that was just like, are you good?

760
00:37:03,009 --> 00:37:06,559
Like, I know that, that like, this one
thing isn't meeting your expectations,

761
00:37:06,579 --> 00:37:08,649
but like, but look at what you are doing.

762
00:37:08,919 --> 00:37:12,189
And the thing is, like, the stack of
what I had been doing, the stack of what

763
00:37:12,189 --> 00:37:13,829
I'd accomplished was so much higher.

764
00:37:14,049 --> 00:37:18,969
And like, like, people were like, baffled
as to what I was able to get done.

765
00:37:19,219 --> 00:37:23,354
But when I tell you my mindset My
mindset was like here and I'm like,

766
00:37:23,354 --> 00:37:24,714
but this is the thing I can't do.

767
00:37:24,764 --> 00:37:27,704
This is the thing that I failed at, or
this is the thing I can't accomplish.

768
00:37:28,084 --> 00:37:28,744
And.

769
00:37:29,379 --> 00:37:31,949
When people would hear that,
they're like, are you insane?

770
00:37:32,009 --> 00:37:34,049
Like, look at the, this is
what you've done though.

771
00:37:34,059 --> 00:37:35,199
Why are you focusing on that?

772
00:37:35,499 --> 00:37:39,909
And it's just like, I think that women,
in my opinion, just focus on the negative

773
00:37:39,909 --> 00:37:46,049
so easily when we are missing out on how
incredible and how accomplished they are.

774
00:37:46,379 --> 00:37:50,449
And I just saw probably something
on social media, like a little quote

775
00:37:50,449 --> 00:37:52,539
or phrase that talked about, um.

776
00:37:52,989 --> 00:37:56,209
You feel like you're not accomplishing
anything and when in reality you

777
00:37:56,209 --> 00:37:59,329
keep moving and raising the bar
up so you're not seeing all the

778
00:37:59,329 --> 00:38:03,229
growth and progress you've made and
that's just how I feel women are.

779
00:38:03,309 --> 00:38:04,539
I feel like women are incredible.

780
00:38:04,969 --> 00:38:07,879
Like our society downplays it because
they're a force to be reckoned with.

781
00:38:08,919 --> 00:38:09,439
For real.

782
00:38:09,699 --> 00:38:11,219
If they gave us our full power.

783
00:38:11,809 --> 00:38:12,419
Exactly.

784
00:38:12,689 --> 00:38:13,399
It'd be over.

785
00:38:14,289 --> 00:38:14,779
Watch out.

786
00:38:16,929 --> 00:38:22,409
For real, though, I think,
um, last year, there was like.

787
00:38:22,944 --> 00:38:26,794
There were so many amazing
people and I was just baffled.

788
00:38:26,834 --> 00:38:30,314
I mean, this year too, um, and
I knew I wasn't going to win.

789
00:38:30,574 --> 00:38:31,374
I just knew it.

790
00:38:31,784 --> 00:38:36,684
And I felt like, it just felt
like that crown was going to

791
00:38:36,694 --> 00:38:38,214
be way too heavy on my head.

792
00:38:38,654 --> 00:38:42,744
And I was up on that stage.

793
00:38:42,774 --> 00:38:47,764
They had little stand, step
things, bleachers that we stood on.

794
00:38:47,764 --> 00:38:51,184
Um, and I was cheering
for every single lady.

795
00:38:51,204 --> 00:38:54,674
Me and Keelan, we were standing
next to each other, and every single

796
00:38:54,674 --> 00:39:01,914
lady that, um, had any kind of
award or recognition or anything,

797
00:39:01,914 --> 00:39:02,964
she and I were both like, Woo!

798
00:39:03,654 --> 00:39:03,674
Yeah!

799
00:39:04,054 --> 00:39:10,534
Because it really, like, instead of
comparing, we were celebrating how

800
00:39:10,534 --> 00:39:13,544
cool all of these amazing women are.

801
00:39:13,564 --> 00:39:14,994
And they've been through a lot.

802
00:39:15,034 --> 00:39:19,964
And it takes a lot of work to get up on
that stage in front of all these people.

803
00:39:20,624 --> 00:39:26,864
People and be so like, so public, but
also so vulnerable and so real and so

804
00:39:26,864 --> 00:39:31,104
raw and still carry yourself so well.

805
00:39:31,104 --> 00:39:31,914
You know what I mean?

806
00:39:32,404 --> 00:39:33,494
Oh, absolutely.

807
00:39:33,554 --> 00:39:37,204
I mean, I think about that all the time.

808
00:39:37,204 --> 00:39:42,474
Like the, the concept of voluntarily
choosing to compete in a pageant

809
00:39:43,094 --> 00:39:45,774
is to put everything on display.

810
00:39:46,074 --> 00:39:49,164
Like at some points, like one
of the areas of swimsuit, like.

811
00:39:49,764 --> 00:39:54,214
Yes, you are completely out there and
even it's, it's even a modest swimsuit

812
00:39:54,654 --> 00:39:59,804
per se, but like everything's out there
and you're the thing that people can

813
00:40:00,134 --> 00:40:03,584
are like most reluctant to do, which
is like inward reflection and to face

814
00:40:03,604 --> 00:40:08,474
critiques on yourself is literally what
we're going out to be like, grade me

815
00:40:08,494 --> 00:40:10,684
judges, you know, on all these things.

816
00:40:11,629 --> 00:40:12,929
Please.

817
00:40:13,109 --> 00:40:13,339
Yeah.

818
00:40:13,529 --> 00:40:14,659
Literally judge me.

819
00:40:14,679 --> 00:40:16,299
That's their whole role as a judge.

820
00:40:16,719 --> 00:40:19,639
And, you know, we go from all these
different things from our thought

821
00:40:19,639 --> 00:40:23,509
processes and interview and how we conduct
ourselves and how we're able to engage in

822
00:40:23,509 --> 00:40:30,069
conversations to onstage question where
on the spot, can you create a cohesive

823
00:40:30,069 --> 00:40:34,729
and impactful statement within, you
know, 90 seconds or less or whatever,

824
00:40:34,729 --> 00:40:36,549
like the, the parameters are and.

825
00:40:36,709 --> 00:40:38,779
That makes people feel something.

826
00:40:39,044 --> 00:40:40,034
Yes, exactly.

827
00:40:40,034 --> 00:40:45,064
It's just like, and make it make sense,
you know, and it doesn't, you're, and

828
00:40:45,064 --> 00:40:50,084
that's, that's, that is such a, that
is just a thing to wrap yourself around

829
00:40:50,084 --> 00:40:55,739
because I, we live in a society where
with social media, which I work In

830
00:40:55,739 --> 00:40:59,809
that sphere, so quick to judge are so
quick to be like, Oh, look at this.

831
00:40:59,879 --> 00:41:02,369
I'm not entertained enough
by whatever this is.

832
00:41:02,369 --> 00:41:07,029
And, and I saw this one pageant
contestant, I don't know what country she

833
00:41:07,029 --> 00:41:12,169
was from, but, or if she was like a U S
or a title holder or something like that.

834
00:41:12,459 --> 00:41:16,139
But she had responded to a
question and it's on stage.

835
00:41:16,339 --> 00:41:17,409
She responded to a question.

836
00:41:18,634 --> 00:41:23,154
And I think she had reworded the question
in her answer and, like, gave nothing.

837
00:41:23,174 --> 00:41:26,074
Like, there was nothing, no meat and
potatoes to the response or whatever.

838
00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:30,764
And, you know, people want to, people
from the nosebleeds, you know, from,

839
00:41:30,764 --> 00:41:34,184
like, the bleacher seats want to provide
feedback and criticism as they're watching

840
00:41:34,184 --> 00:41:36,964
this online and, and in whatever format.

841
00:41:37,104 --> 00:41:39,824
And I'm like, that's cool.

842
00:41:40,079 --> 00:41:42,929
Like, you know, because we're opening
ourselves up to that kind of criticism

843
00:41:43,289 --> 00:41:46,669
and that kind of ridicule, but
I'm like, but you're not up there.

844
00:41:46,729 --> 00:41:47,349
She is.

845
00:41:47,559 --> 00:41:52,239
She took a step and, and maybe that
wasn't her finest hour, but she tried.

846
00:41:52,249 --> 00:41:56,789
And that's a lot more than overwhelmingly
the rest of society is doing.

847
00:41:56,789 --> 00:41:59,309
I'm like, she was brave and
she put herself out there.

848
00:41:59,559 --> 00:42:02,349
And maybe in that moment, like
that was, again, that wasn't

849
00:42:02,349 --> 00:42:04,249
how she wanted to show up, but.

850
00:42:04,509 --> 00:42:08,439
Like it, it reminds me of like when
people run a 5K or a marathon or half or

851
00:42:08,439 --> 00:42:11,759
something and you know, they're saying
like, oh, I'm not hitting these, these,

852
00:42:11,759 --> 00:42:16,079
these progress markers, or I'm not doing
this or this, and I'm always saying, you

853
00:42:16,079 --> 00:42:20,189
are doing far more than anybody critiquing
you from the couch, like you are pushing

854
00:42:20,189 --> 00:42:21,869
yourself and challenging yourself.

855
00:42:21,869 --> 00:42:25,749
And, and I think that is far
more admirable than the critiques

856
00:42:25,749 --> 00:42:28,629
from the, you know, the, the
nosebleeds, like you're in the arena.

857
00:42:28,974 --> 00:42:32,764
You are pouring in blood, sweat
and tears into this effort, um,

858
00:42:33,014 --> 00:42:34,224
and you're going to grow from it.

859
00:42:34,434 --> 00:42:37,134
All that they've done is scrolled
through social media and provided

860
00:42:37,154 --> 00:42:40,134
unnecessary commentary and
they're going back to do whatever.

861
00:42:40,484 --> 00:42:40,914
Right.

862
00:42:41,524 --> 00:42:45,314
I was doing a, um, a
public speaking event.

863
00:42:46,579 --> 00:42:52,079
And somebody was like, they were
asking me what I do in situations

864
00:42:52,079 --> 00:42:56,239
where people are being critical of me,
like where they would be hurting my

865
00:42:56,239 --> 00:43:00,269
feelings with social media online, like
judging the way I dress or whatever.

866
00:43:00,299 --> 00:43:03,289
I'm like, well, none of it's, I'm
not doing any of this for them.

867
00:43:04,509 --> 00:43:04,799
Yeah.

868
00:43:05,109 --> 00:43:05,589
Right.

869
00:43:05,729 --> 00:43:11,729
Like everybody has different opinions
and taste and style and stuff.

870
00:43:11,769 --> 00:43:14,449
And I'm not going to be for
everybody, but I'm for me.

871
00:43:14,539 --> 00:43:16,649
And that's who I'm
actually doing this for.

872
00:43:17,484 --> 00:43:21,894
I think it is so important to show up
as your most authentic self in spaces

873
00:43:21,894 --> 00:43:25,404
because you can look back and then
be like, I exactly what you said.

874
00:43:25,424 --> 00:43:26,184
I was me.

875
00:43:26,334 --> 00:43:28,994
I was, I was boldly and confident myself.

876
00:43:29,014 --> 00:43:30,184
I was no one else.

877
00:43:30,484 --> 00:43:33,174
The responses I provided were
something that Thing that I stand

878
00:43:33,174 --> 00:43:36,804
by and this is this is what I
represent and this is who I am.

879
00:43:36,804 --> 00:43:39,384
These are my virtues, my moral
character, all these things.

880
00:43:39,384 --> 00:43:41,034
I'm like, I didn't pretend
to be someone else.

881
00:43:41,034 --> 00:43:45,444
And, um, and, and I love that
idea of like, you're like, I'm

882
00:43:45,444 --> 00:43:46,654
not going to be for everyone.

883
00:43:46,654 --> 00:43:51,334
I think that is such a, like, emotionally
healthy and intelligent response to that.

884
00:43:51,634 --> 00:43:57,474
Because we are, um, at our, our
wow event earlier this week.

885
00:43:57,844 --> 00:43:59,774
Um, we have to acknowledge that.

886
00:43:59,999 --> 00:44:02,519
When people judge or when we
judge, that's like a defense

887
00:44:02,519 --> 00:44:04,759
mechanism that we have built in.

888
00:44:04,769 --> 00:44:07,009
But at the same time,
like, who is that serving?

889
00:44:07,019 --> 00:44:10,689
That's like one of my favorite
recent phrases is like, this

890
00:44:10,719 --> 00:44:14,799
comment or this negative thought
process, like who profits from it?

891
00:44:15,199 --> 00:44:19,439
And, and it's just the idea of like,
Okay, well, I'm pouring back into

892
00:44:19,439 --> 00:44:22,929
somebody's negative judgments or
reactions of me or anybody else.

893
00:44:22,929 --> 00:44:24,389
Like, do I want to do that?

894
00:44:24,389 --> 00:44:24,689
No.

895
00:44:25,189 --> 00:44:27,089
Um, and I know that, same, same as you.

896
00:44:27,089 --> 00:44:30,499
I'm like, I know that I'm not going
to be for everyone, but I used to

897
00:44:30,609 --> 00:44:34,169
sit so much again in those spaces
and be like, oh, but, but if I did

898
00:44:34,169 --> 00:44:37,269
this differently, then I would just
be more palatable for everybody else.

899
00:44:37,679 --> 00:44:43,114
And I was looking back at Pictures
of myself growing up, especially

900
00:44:43,114 --> 00:44:46,494
like there was one of those like
social media, like add your pictures

901
00:44:46,494 --> 00:44:51,944
to like the, this like chain feed
of stuff on, on Instagram stories.

902
00:44:51,944 --> 00:44:54,874
And it's like, this is what I was
like when I was 17 or something.

903
00:44:55,254 --> 00:44:59,874
And I was grabbing these pictures
from high school and it was so extra.

904
00:45:00,254 --> 00:45:03,904
And then I went to college and then
I commissioned in the air force.

905
00:45:03,904 --> 00:45:07,234
And then I kind of like dulled
my sparkle a little bit so that I

906
00:45:07,234 --> 00:45:10,364
could kind of, you know, continue
with being an air force officer.

907
00:45:10,379 --> 00:45:15,609
And now that I'm not in the Air Force
anymore, I was looking back at those

908
00:45:15,619 --> 00:45:21,359
17 year old Kim pictures and, and I was
just remembering that I'm like, there

909
00:45:21,359 --> 00:45:23,399
was nothing wrong with being that extra.

910
00:45:23,399 --> 00:45:25,789
There's nothing wrong with showing
authentically as yourself and

911
00:45:26,059 --> 00:45:29,369
probably explains a lot why I'm
in a pageant in my thirties.

912
00:45:30,169 --> 00:45:33,939
So we're kind of resurrecting that
we're having a little Lazarus moment.

913
00:45:34,399 --> 00:45:35,129
And it's fine.

914
00:45:35,139 --> 00:45:40,159
And, um, and 17 year old Kim was
so fun and so smart and vibrant.

915
00:45:40,169 --> 00:45:44,619
And not that I'm any less of those
things, but she could have absolutely

916
00:45:44,619 --> 00:45:46,519
showed up in those spaces and she's fine.

917
00:45:46,519 --> 00:45:51,829
Like if someone, if I saw her today, just
like in, in a wow meeting and the pageant

918
00:45:51,829 --> 00:45:53,429
or whatever, I'd be like, she's fun.

919
00:45:53,459 --> 00:45:54,219
She's awesome.

920
00:45:54,429 --> 00:45:55,139
She loves people.

921
00:45:55,319 --> 00:45:56,549
She shows up for them.

922
00:45:56,559 --> 00:45:56,929
Yeah.

923
00:45:57,229 --> 00:46:01,439
And, and I think those are the things
where I'm like, For anybody judging and

924
00:46:01,699 --> 00:46:06,079
in spaces or judging women in pageant
or anything like, like, why are you, why

925
00:46:06,079 --> 00:46:08,289
do you feel compelled to react that way?

926
00:46:08,559 --> 00:46:13,029
When that person, when Amanda, like
the way that she loves people, the

927
00:46:13,029 --> 00:46:17,119
way she shows up for people, the way
she goes into a space and brings not

928
00:46:17,119 --> 00:46:19,979
just her genuine self, but make sure
that everybody feels seen and heard.

929
00:46:20,249 --> 00:46:23,919
Like, I should, you should be
applauding that and less so judging it.

930
00:46:24,149 --> 00:46:25,869
Because, like, you aren't
doing those things.

931
00:46:25,919 --> 00:46:28,599
Like, are you contributing to
the greater good of society?

932
00:46:28,989 --> 00:46:29,369
I am.

933
00:46:29,859 --> 00:46:31,479
Like, but, but I know I am.

934
00:46:31,489 --> 00:46:34,445
Yeah, like, I know that I'm
potentially meeting in spaces, right?

935
00:46:34,445 --> 00:46:34,730
Yeah.

936
00:46:34,730 --> 00:46:38,444
And showing up to make sure that
people feel seen and heard and,

937
00:46:38,444 --> 00:46:40,159
and listened to and, and, uh.

938
00:46:40,589 --> 00:46:43,399
Yeah, I think society, along with
my platform of Highly Favored,

939
00:46:43,399 --> 00:46:45,139
I think we need that more.

940
00:46:45,169 --> 00:46:49,609
We need people to be less judgmental,
and to meet people where they're at, and

941
00:46:49,629 --> 00:46:52,819
to understand like the perspectives that
people are bringing into these situations.

942
00:46:53,149 --> 00:46:57,629
So did we really talk much
about your platform, actually?

943
00:46:58,029 --> 00:46:58,739
I don't know.

944
00:46:58,739 --> 00:47:00,401
I don't think we did.

945
00:47:00,401 --> 00:47:02,629
I don't think we did at all.

946
00:47:03,129 --> 00:47:04,549
Oh, snap.

947
00:47:05,349 --> 00:47:06,919
Oh yeah, no, I'm happy
to talk about it though.

948
00:47:06,979 --> 00:47:13,279
Um, yeah, a lot of it came from, uh,
so we're competing in a platform based

949
00:47:13,299 --> 00:47:15,709
pageant, uh, system, which is awesome.

950
00:47:16,139 --> 00:47:20,029
And so we pick causes that
are deeply meaningful to us.

951
00:47:20,059 --> 00:47:24,369
And I developed this idea of, of
being highly favored, um, because

952
00:47:24,369 --> 00:47:26,359
I came from, I'm a military brat.

953
00:47:26,389 --> 00:47:29,299
I served in the military once
upon a time when I was married,

954
00:47:29,299 --> 00:47:30,729
I was also a military spouse.

955
00:47:31,079 --> 00:47:31,589
So.

956
00:47:31,874 --> 00:47:36,864
Just this life and community was so
inherently important to me, and I

957
00:47:36,904 --> 00:47:40,614
was thinking about the things that
came from that experience that really

958
00:47:40,664 --> 00:47:44,204
resonated with me, and overwhelmingly,
it was this concept of community,

959
00:47:44,234 --> 00:47:48,434
no matter where we were at, people
understood what we were going through.

960
00:47:48,704 --> 00:47:50,574
They were, um.

961
00:47:51,844 --> 00:47:54,584
They were so willing to be
like my kids emergency contact.

962
00:47:54,584 --> 00:47:57,054
We have this ongoing joke of
like, Hi, nice to meet you.

963
00:47:57,054 --> 00:47:58,824
Can you be my emergency contact?

964
00:47:58,824 --> 00:48:00,014
But people get it.

965
00:48:00,244 --> 00:48:03,184
They get that like where you're
at and where you're moving to, you

966
00:48:03,184 --> 00:48:04,774
are starting completely over again.

967
00:48:05,104 --> 00:48:10,244
And it forced you to be in a very
open minded mental space, to be

968
00:48:10,284 --> 00:48:11,714
like, I want to make friends.

969
00:48:12,034 --> 00:48:12,934
Here's myself.

970
00:48:12,964 --> 00:48:14,194
I'm going to be vulnerable.

971
00:48:14,484 --> 00:48:16,594
And you learn from every one
of these situations, but I

972
00:48:16,604 --> 00:48:20,984
just built the most Meaningful
relationships out of the military.

973
00:48:21,404 --> 00:48:28,314
And when I separated from the air force,
moved to Utah, I was craving those

974
00:48:28,324 --> 00:48:32,204
kinds of connections and whether it
was in an online space or in person, I

975
00:48:32,214 --> 00:48:35,574
just really missed that because I kept.

976
00:48:35,914 --> 00:48:38,844
Seeing people being
judgmental, people being harsh.

977
00:48:38,864 --> 00:48:40,924
You have online trolls,
all of these things.

978
00:48:41,334 --> 00:48:45,064
And I just kept thinking like, okay,
like what, what are we missing here?

979
00:48:45,484 --> 00:48:49,314
And one of my favorite things about
what I learned from those military

980
00:48:49,314 --> 00:48:54,184
communities is that people are showing
up as their most authentic selves after

981
00:48:54,184 --> 00:48:57,354
they have faced extreme adversity,
whether that's deployments, family

982
00:48:57,364 --> 00:49:03,974
separations, um, military based
injuries, trauma, all of these things.

983
00:49:03,994 --> 00:49:09,054
And, and, and that goes from like the
day to day minuscule stuff to huge,

984
00:49:09,134 --> 00:49:13,424
like, war, combat type of things, and
they were sharing their stories, and

985
00:49:13,424 --> 00:49:16,834
they were connecting with people, and
it was inherently part of this, and I

986
00:49:16,834 --> 00:49:19,954
was just like, I think that's what we
need, I think we need to feel less alone,

987
00:49:19,954 --> 00:49:22,754
because that's another thing too, when
you separate from the military, it's

988
00:49:22,754 --> 00:49:26,234
a huge initiative to make sure that
veterans are seen and heard, you know?

989
00:49:26,314 --> 00:49:30,284
because it is such a huge transition
from that kind of space that it, it is

990
00:49:30,284 --> 00:49:32,044
very challenging on one's mental health.

991
00:49:32,084 --> 00:49:33,264
And I can attest to that too.

992
00:49:33,264 --> 00:49:35,794
I separated from the Air Force
last year, and that was one of

993
00:49:35,794 --> 00:49:37,154
the hardest years of my life.

994
00:49:38,044 --> 00:49:42,084
And so, well, and you
were active duty, right?

995
00:49:42,284 --> 00:49:44,854
I was, yeah, I was active
duty for over 11 years.

996
00:49:45,339 --> 00:49:50,319
And, and I also to like not make matters
worse, but I worked specifically with

997
00:49:50,319 --> 00:49:53,639
the special operations community,
which is so incredibly tight knit

998
00:49:53,889 --> 00:49:55,349
and they look out for each other.

999
00:49:55,369 --> 00:49:59,599
And so to go from like the safety
of that to like, Hey, you're on your

1000
00:49:59,599 --> 00:50:03,639
own and you're not from Utah and you
don't know anyone, but good luck,

1001
00:50:03,639 --> 00:50:07,669
you know, um, was, I was just like,
holy cow, this is all different.

1002
00:50:08,109 --> 00:50:10,949
Um, but I recognize the
goodness and people.

1003
00:50:11,164 --> 00:50:16,144
Well, being vulnerable and showing up and,
and, and these are gritty people from,

1004
00:50:16,324 --> 00:50:19,154
like, yes, in your mind when you think of
a gritty person, arguably, you're like,

1005
00:50:19,344 --> 00:50:22,574
yeah, military war hero, but I'm also
talking about, like, the single moms.

1006
00:50:23,219 --> 00:50:26,849
The person who's just like, I'm just
getting through my day to day and

1007
00:50:26,859 --> 00:50:30,319
as people share their stories, they
help other people who have otherwise

1008
00:50:30,349 --> 00:50:34,289
been quiet or not making those
connections realize, I'm not alone.

1009
00:50:34,879 --> 00:50:37,889
Like, there are other people
here who are experiencing very

1010
00:50:37,889 --> 00:50:41,389
similar things or something like
what I'm going through right now.

1011
00:50:41,429 --> 00:50:43,859
And if I can make those
connections, I can feel less alone.

1012
00:50:43,879 --> 00:50:45,919
I can help build my
communities and strengthen it.

1013
00:50:46,349 --> 00:50:50,859
And, and that is largely what, Heli
favorite is about is strengthening and

1014
00:50:50,859 --> 00:50:54,969
building our communities by recognizing
that we're not alone that we can share

1015
00:50:54,969 --> 00:50:59,129
all these stories amongst each other
and we can help one another in through

1016
00:50:59,129 --> 00:51:03,019
our vulnerability through sharing our
stories for showing up for one another.

1017
00:51:03,359 --> 00:51:06,289
It's just a really
community based initiative.

1018
00:51:06,589 --> 00:51:10,689
And I think we need community
today more than ever, honestly.

1019
00:51:11,109 --> 00:51:11,859
I really do.

1020
00:51:12,289 --> 00:51:17,369
Well, and I can't imagine going from
like, having things so scheduled and

1021
00:51:17,369 --> 00:51:22,519
regimented for so long, and then all
of a sudden being like, now what?

1022
00:51:23,979 --> 00:51:24,379
Yes.

1023
00:51:24,679 --> 00:51:25,439
Absolutely.

1024
00:51:25,499 --> 00:51:29,719
I, I didn't drift from that
too much because I went from.

1025
00:51:30,389 --> 00:51:34,079
being active duty air force to a
defense contractor at an air force base.

1026
00:51:34,389 --> 00:51:34,699
Yeah.

1027
00:51:35,019 --> 00:51:36,539
But it's different enough.

1028
00:51:36,569 --> 00:51:41,569
It's different enough where I've got
a year under my belt of experiencing

1029
00:51:41,569 --> 00:51:45,519
this and I've learned a lot and
it's, it's a lot of figuring out like

1030
00:51:45,519 --> 00:51:50,159
what works for me, what doesn't, um,
figuring out what kind of resources.

1031
00:51:50,469 --> 00:51:53,019
I need connecting with
other veteran communities.

1032
00:51:53,019 --> 00:51:54,789
That has been like hugely important.

1033
00:51:55,319 --> 00:51:58,949
Um, and then also like for me, which
I've done at every duty station,

1034
00:51:58,949 --> 00:52:03,449
like finding my place of worship that
connects with like my faith, uh, my faith

1035
00:52:03,449 --> 00:52:07,799
basis, building, you know, small groups
and bible studies, uh, volunteering.

1036
00:52:07,829 --> 00:52:11,099
There's like things that I have
done luckily throughout my entire

1037
00:52:11,099 --> 00:52:14,129
military experience that still apply
here, even if I'm no longer active.

1038
00:52:14,294 --> 00:52:14,634
duty.

1039
00:52:15,084 --> 00:52:17,394
Um, and yeah, they're like,
it's really, really important.

1040
00:52:17,464 --> 00:52:20,524
So I've kind of just employed a
lot of those types of things, but

1041
00:52:20,534 --> 00:52:22,694
yes, it was, and it's still hard.

1042
00:52:22,764 --> 00:52:28,354
Like I, um, I think it's, there's
things where you're just like, I

1043
00:52:28,354 --> 00:52:30,964
really miss this or I miss that.

1044
00:52:30,984 --> 00:52:36,304
And, um, and I think that'll just
take time to kind of get over.

1045
00:52:36,334 --> 00:52:37,504
I don't have like a perfect.

1046
00:52:38,274 --> 00:52:39,694
Answer solution to that.

1047
00:52:40,294 --> 00:52:42,314
But I've incredibly proud to have served.

1048
00:52:42,704 --> 00:52:44,284
I sometimes miss it a lot.

1049
00:52:44,344 --> 00:52:46,884
Other times I'm totally okay
with not being in anymore.

1050
00:52:47,314 --> 00:52:50,764
And, and that is just the complexity
of that kind of relationship with

1051
00:52:50,764 --> 00:52:54,794
my military service is that is that
there's good and bad and in between.

1052
00:52:54,794 --> 00:52:59,244
And, and I am now kind of navigating
a new identity with a new chapter.

1053
00:52:59,604 --> 00:53:02,034
And, We'll see how, like, this year goes.

1054
00:53:02,044 --> 00:53:05,534
Like, everything is just, like, one
foot in front of the other, taking,

1055
00:53:05,544 --> 00:53:08,754
like, the next right step, or trying
to take the next right step, and

1056
00:53:08,754 --> 00:53:09,834
then figuring it out from there.

1057
00:53:10,244 --> 00:53:10,544
Yeah.

1058
00:53:10,989 --> 00:53:11,889
You're incredible.

1059
00:53:12,589 --> 00:53:13,919
I think you're incredible.

1060
00:53:14,509 --> 00:53:14,679
It's hard.

1061
00:53:15,249 --> 00:53:19,319
It's hard to be a people and you're
just you're doing so many amazing

1062
00:53:19,329 --> 00:53:23,669
things and you just you really take
the initiative to do what you can to

1063
00:53:23,669 --> 00:53:26,049
improve every space that you go into.

1064
00:53:26,149 --> 00:53:28,609
So you're so I love you.

1065
00:53:28,609 --> 00:53:29,349
Thank you.

1066
00:53:29,459 --> 00:53:30,389
I love you.

1067
00:53:30,759 --> 00:53:32,989
I am trying my very best.

1068
00:53:34,864 --> 00:53:36,684
You have such good energy.

1069
00:53:36,774 --> 00:53:39,964
Like, I think that was the first thing
Kaylin was telling me about you, was

1070
00:53:39,974 --> 00:53:41,664
like, you're just gonna love her energy.

1071
00:53:41,664 --> 00:53:43,734
You two are gonna get along so great.

1072
00:53:44,034 --> 00:53:47,724
And I was like, okay, okay.

1073
00:53:47,774 --> 00:53:51,544
And then I saw you and I was like, yes,
we actually will get along just fine.

1074
00:53:52,704 --> 00:53:56,954
It's so funny too, cause I feel
like when it's, cause making

1075
00:53:56,954 --> 00:54:00,144
friends and establishing those
relationships as an adult is so

1076
00:54:00,144 --> 00:54:01,464
different than when you're a kid.

1077
00:54:01,704 --> 00:54:03,529
Cause when you're a kid,
everybody He's just kind of

1078
00:54:03,529 --> 00:54:04,469
like on an equal playing field.

1079
00:54:04,489 --> 00:54:05,099
We're just kids.

1080
00:54:05,099 --> 00:54:05,629
We're just playing.

1081
00:54:05,629 --> 00:54:09,669
But when you're adults, you're like,
this is my entire life experience.

1082
00:54:09,679 --> 00:54:10,829
Please accept it as is.

1083
00:54:11,019 --> 00:54:13,279
And then, then you're gauging
like, Oh, what can I share?

1084
00:54:13,279 --> 00:54:13,919
What can I not?

1085
00:54:14,269 --> 00:54:18,239
And so it's tough when you've got a
girlfriend who's like, Hey, you're

1086
00:54:18,239 --> 00:54:20,189
going to love this gal. She's great.

1087
00:54:20,199 --> 00:54:22,139
And you're like, am I, are you sure?

1088
00:54:22,349 --> 00:54:23,639
You know, things like that.

1089
00:54:23,669 --> 00:54:25,459
And, and I've been the same way too.

1090
00:54:25,469 --> 00:54:28,729
Every single space, especially,
oh my goodness, especially moving

1091
00:54:28,729 --> 00:54:29,459
within the special operations.

1092
00:54:31,044 --> 00:54:35,884
It felt so bad because, um, I think
people normally they're like, Oh, she's

1093
00:54:35,894 --> 00:54:39,444
bright and bubbly and very extroverted
and smiley and all these things.

1094
00:54:39,804 --> 00:54:43,674
And I had come out of a space in one
of my previous assignments where I

1095
00:54:43,674 --> 00:54:45,894
was like, Oh, I don't like people.

1096
00:54:45,934 --> 00:54:47,404
I don't like people so much.

1097
00:54:47,444 --> 00:54:48,664
And which is not true.

1098
00:54:48,694 --> 00:54:50,794
I just had a really negative experience.

1099
00:54:51,264 --> 00:54:53,264
And I moved to my next
command in South Carolina.

1100
00:54:54,374 --> 00:54:58,134
And I remember meeting people and
I was just like, you know, like my

1101
00:54:58,134 --> 00:55:01,004
face probably gave that like most
of the time because I just wanted

1102
00:55:01,014 --> 00:55:04,274
to give, I just wanted to do my job.

1103
00:55:04,524 --> 00:55:06,074
I didn't want to connect with people.

1104
00:55:06,094 --> 00:55:07,154
I just wanted to do that.

1105
00:55:07,694 --> 00:55:12,754
And then the people at that
command, Sakor, go Sakor.

1106
00:55:12,754 --> 00:55:13,594
I love you guys.

1107
00:55:13,854 --> 00:55:15,444
They just loved me so well.

1108
00:55:15,944 --> 00:55:18,729
They were just like, We're going
to meet this sassy little 5

1109
00:55:18,729 --> 00:55:20,859
2 0 gal right where she's at.

1110
00:55:21,219 --> 00:55:25,439
And they just showed up and they really
built trust and connections and I'm

1111
00:55:25,439 --> 00:55:28,409
still so close with so many of those
people from that command and they're

1112
00:55:28,409 --> 00:55:30,279
just incredible people and I love them.

1113
00:55:30,279 --> 00:55:34,199
And, um, and that was inherently a part
of the special operations community that

1114
00:55:34,209 --> 00:55:38,009
has made this transition out of the Air
Force that much harder because they just.

1115
00:55:38,344 --> 00:55:39,014
show up.

1116
00:55:39,114 --> 00:55:40,764
They were just people who
showed up consistently.

1117
00:55:40,974 --> 00:55:43,014
They show up still to this day.

1118
00:55:43,014 --> 00:55:45,564
They ask how like my kids
are doing, how I'm doing.

1119
00:55:45,934 --> 00:55:48,424
Um, I just got a message from
my friend Chris last night.

1120
00:55:48,424 --> 00:55:50,774
We're just connecting because
he's going to grad school too.

1121
00:55:50,774 --> 00:55:54,764
Like just, just, they're
just like the best people.

1122
00:55:55,054 --> 00:55:59,089
And That relationship dynamic that I
had with all of those people that I met

1123
00:55:59,089 --> 00:56:02,159
there and people showing up when you
are not willing to show for others to

1124
00:56:02,169 --> 00:56:05,639
like, they could sense like, I was kind
of like, I don't know if you've ever

1125
00:56:05,639 --> 00:56:09,439
fostered, you fostered animals, but
like, I fostered rescue dogs and you're

1126
00:56:09,439 --> 00:56:10,859
just like, they've seen some stuff.

1127
00:56:10,869 --> 00:56:13,539
So they're just like, you know,
they're very like distant for a bit.

1128
00:56:13,539 --> 00:56:14,729
They're trying to figure you out.

1129
00:56:15,039 --> 00:56:17,489
And that was kind of like, my
approach is that I've seen some

1130
00:56:17,489 --> 00:56:19,419
things I've had people let me down.

1131
00:56:20,124 --> 00:56:24,354
So I was very like, yeah, yeah, they're
like, very, I was very apprehensive

1132
00:56:24,354 --> 00:56:28,644
to build connections with people
and also worried that like if I did,

1133
00:56:28,674 --> 00:56:31,474
right, if I, if I tried to build a
connection with you, would you reject me?

1134
00:56:31,474 --> 00:56:32,704
Would you not take me seriously?

1135
00:56:32,704 --> 00:56:35,524
Would you not, you know, be kind?

1136
00:56:35,754 --> 00:56:36,504
And.

1137
00:56:37,064 --> 00:56:37,814
No, they were.

1138
00:56:37,884 --> 00:56:38,714
They were amazing.

1139
00:56:38,764 --> 00:56:41,764
They could see that and they
showed up and it wasn't just them.

1140
00:56:42,104 --> 00:56:45,104
We have, um, at that command,
we'd have rotational teams.

1141
00:56:45,104 --> 00:56:49,444
So we had teams from all over the world,
uh, representing U. S. Special Operations

1142
00:56:49,454 --> 00:56:53,464
from, you know, Green Berets, Navy
SEALs, Air Force Special Tactics, MARSOC.

1143
00:56:53,724 --> 00:56:55,854
They would come through
and all over the world.

1144
00:56:57,079 --> 00:56:58,439
Just the most intentional people.

1145
00:56:58,469 --> 00:57:00,909
They knew they were only going to be there
for, I don't know, however many months,

1146
00:57:00,909 --> 00:57:02,209
weeks, whatever they were there for.

1147
00:57:02,479 --> 00:57:03,849
Just the kindest folks.

1148
00:57:04,059 --> 00:57:06,469
Like, truly, it was such
a healing assignment, and

1149
00:57:06,469 --> 00:57:07,859
people can be innately good.

1150
00:57:08,229 --> 00:57:11,019
There's people who are bad, but there
can be people who are, like, innately

1151
00:57:11,019 --> 00:57:15,129
good and kind and are willing to show
up for you and don't have malintent.

1152
00:57:15,274 --> 00:57:20,784
And that's a, that helped fuel a lot of
what Highly Favored is about, is that

1153
00:57:21,124 --> 00:57:24,024
we're understanding that people have gone
through some stuff, they've been hurt,

1154
00:57:24,044 --> 00:57:28,554
and people have been unkind to them,
but we can show up kind, willing to be

1155
00:57:28,554 --> 00:57:32,134
there for people, make meals for one
another, and just like simply sit in those

1156
00:57:32,134 --> 00:57:34,354
spaces with them until you feel better.

1157
00:57:34,764 --> 00:57:35,994
And, uh, and I love that.

1158
00:57:36,554 --> 00:57:38,714
I think you're amazing.

1159
00:57:38,714 --> 00:57:41,614
The more you talk, the more
I'm like, Geez, she's so cool.

1160
00:57:41,614 --> 00:57:44,194
And she's nice.

1161
00:57:44,194 --> 00:57:44,694
And she just,

1162
00:57:48,014 --> 00:57:50,934
It just, well, and it
like, Especially girls.

1163
00:57:51,444 --> 00:57:52,654
Girls can be kind of mean.

1164
00:57:52,714 --> 00:57:59,754
And especially when you have,
like, you have these ideas.

1165
00:58:00,429 --> 00:58:06,639
Of what people should look like and
how people should dress and you've seen

1166
00:58:06,669 --> 00:58:10,259
other patterns of behavior, maybe where
people are like, Ew, that's yucky.

1167
00:58:10,689 --> 00:58:12,919
That stuff stays with you for a long time.

1168
00:58:13,149 --> 00:58:13,639
That does.

1169
00:58:14,039 --> 00:58:17,379
Cause you're just trying to feel included.

1170
00:58:17,619 --> 00:58:20,909
Like, I think we talked about
this last time too, but Maslow's

1171
00:58:20,949 --> 00:58:24,629
Heart Hierarchy of Needs, like we
will choose connection over food.

1172
00:58:24,739 --> 00:58:26,829
Like, that is, that is how it is.

1173
00:58:26,829 --> 00:58:29,259
And so when you're getting feedback,
like, hey, the thing that you like.

1174
00:58:29,469 --> 00:58:32,559
It's not socially acceptable for the
connection that you need with me.

1175
00:58:32,949 --> 00:58:33,449
It does.

1176
00:58:33,449 --> 00:58:35,289
It stays with you because you're
like, okay, lesson learned.

1177
00:58:35,319 --> 00:58:38,159
Because I need that connection
more than I need food.

1178
00:58:38,549 --> 00:58:41,239
That you're just like, okay, what
do I do differently next time?

1179
00:58:41,239 --> 00:58:43,249
How can I be responsive to this way?

1180
00:58:43,759 --> 00:58:46,689
Um, and it's from those
friendships with women.

1181
00:58:46,719 --> 00:58:48,519
It's friendships with other people.

1182
00:58:48,519 --> 00:58:49,169
It's dating.

1183
00:58:49,189 --> 00:58:50,769
Like all of those things are just like.

1184
00:58:51,274 --> 00:58:52,044
It's hard.

1185
00:58:52,054 --> 00:58:55,674
It is hard on like the human heart
to navigate some of that stuff.

1186
00:58:55,894 --> 00:59:03,164
Every interaction you have can have like,
it can heal you and give you pieces back

1187
00:59:03,164 --> 00:59:05,264
or it can take some of those pieces away.

1188
00:59:05,474 --> 00:59:06,184
I know.

1189
00:59:06,454 --> 00:59:07,034
I know.

1190
00:59:07,384 --> 00:59:11,244
And I think, um, my favorite thing
about being in this pageant is just

1191
00:59:11,244 --> 00:59:13,874
seeing how really everybody is like.

1192
00:59:14,699 --> 00:59:17,009
Like Charlotte, I should
try to get her on here.

1193
00:59:17,019 --> 00:59:21,629
Charlotte, she's in the
top 40 under 40 for Utah.

1194
00:59:21,869 --> 00:59:22,489
She is.

1195
00:59:22,499 --> 00:59:26,036
She's in the 40 under 40
for her for business acumen.

1196
00:59:26,036 --> 00:59:26,471
Yeah.

1197
00:59:26,471 --> 00:59:31,779
Go, let's go have some lunch with her and
celebrate with her instead of being like.

1198
00:59:32,759 --> 00:59:35,739
Oh man, she did a cool thing, right?

1199
00:59:35,919 --> 00:59:40,049
That's just the energy around it is we're
going to celebrate everybody's successes

1200
00:59:40,079 --> 00:59:44,759
and cheer them on instead of like, Oh,
you're doing a cool thing and I'm not.

1201
00:59:45,589 --> 00:59:47,669
I think that I agree with you.

1202
00:59:47,669 --> 00:59:50,929
I think that like the pageant environment
that I've been seeing and experiencing

1203
00:59:51,309 --> 00:59:54,959
is very like we will applaud for
each other until it's our turn.

1204
00:59:55,329 --> 00:59:59,599
And, and it's not like a polite little
cordial, like, let me just do a golf clap.

1205
00:59:59,619 --> 01:00:01,439
It's like we're cheering loudly.

1206
01:00:01,864 --> 01:00:06,514
And, and I also think that, from
my experience, I don't necessarily

1207
01:00:06,514 --> 01:00:08,554
know if it's like the pageant
experience, but from my experience,

1208
01:00:08,574 --> 01:00:12,874
being, being a female service
member, like, those are tough wins.

1209
01:00:12,954 --> 01:00:18,274
Like, women are, like, fighting, throwing
elbows to get into those spaces and fight

1210
01:00:18,274 --> 01:00:24,009
for their seat at the table, and it does
us no good to, Use comparison and jealousy

1211
01:00:24,009 --> 01:00:26,169
to like negate someone's accomplishments.

1212
01:00:26,169 --> 01:00:29,559
But I'm like, we're like, we're going
backwards with some of the things.

1213
01:00:29,569 --> 01:00:31,869
So like, we need to keep
making forward momentum.

1214
01:00:31,869 --> 01:00:34,399
And if one of us gets there,
we're all getting there a little

1215
01:00:34,399 --> 01:00:35,959
bit closer than we were before.

1216
01:00:36,419 --> 01:00:40,119
Um, and I know when Charlotte made
that announcement and I was like

1217
01:00:40,129 --> 01:00:43,819
deep diving into it, I was so excited
because I can't remember what happened

1218
01:00:43,819 --> 01:00:46,329
the night before, but I was feeling
really discouraged by something.

1219
01:00:46,679 --> 01:00:47,249
And.

1220
01:00:47,709 --> 01:00:51,159
Like for, for those listening, um, I
already have a master's degree, but I'm

1221
01:00:51,159 --> 01:00:52,799
actually going back to school for my MBA.

1222
01:00:52,809 --> 01:00:54,019
I'm a defense contractor.

1223
01:00:54,019 --> 01:00:56,399
I'm the corporate world after
doing all this military stuff.

1224
01:00:56,819 --> 01:00:58,869
And I think I was just like,
well, what are my next steps?

1225
01:00:58,869 --> 01:00:59,789
What do I want to do?

1226
01:00:59,809 --> 01:01:00,999
And then in seeing that.

1227
01:01:02,049 --> 01:01:03,659
Surely it got the 40 under 40.

1228
01:01:03,659 --> 01:01:04,919
I'm like new goal.

1229
01:01:04,969 --> 01:01:09,849
And I mean, In my circle, like, there
are women who are doing the things,

1230
01:01:10,109 --> 01:01:12,439
and they're challenging each other,
and they're building up these things,

1231
01:01:12,439 --> 01:01:15,029
I like, I hope you guys watch this on
YouTube, because there's like lots of

1232
01:01:15,029 --> 01:01:19,799
active gesturing going on, um, but they're
doing these things that are incredible,

1233
01:01:20,009 --> 01:01:23,009
and if anything, she's helping to pave
the way so that more of us can come

1234
01:01:23,009 --> 01:01:27,369
through, and more of us can accomplish
these things, and it, it definitely

1235
01:01:27,369 --> 01:01:31,124
made me realize, like, okay, cool, you
know, I knew I had the prize versus

1236
01:01:31,694 --> 01:01:33,284
Wall E and whatever I was upset about.

1237
01:01:33,424 --> 01:01:34,354
I don't even remember anymore.

1238
01:01:34,364 --> 01:01:35,354
And that's another thing too.

1239
01:01:35,354 --> 01:01:37,954
I was like, clearly it wasn't
big enough to like, remember.

1240
01:01:38,464 --> 01:01:41,464
Oh, I don't know why I spent
that much energy on it.

1241
01:01:41,464 --> 01:01:41,794
Right.

1242
01:01:42,234 --> 01:01:43,554
And so, yeah.

1243
01:01:43,554 --> 01:01:44,904
So, but she's incredible.

1244
01:01:44,944 --> 01:01:48,064
And how cool that she's my friend.

1245
01:01:48,184 --> 01:01:51,024
And that like, I get to be in her
circle and get to cheer her on.

1246
01:01:51,344 --> 01:01:55,544
Because if anything, like when I'm
At some point, hopefully that maybe

1247
01:01:55,544 --> 01:01:56,884
Utah Business is looking at me.

1248
01:01:56,884 --> 01:01:59,704
I don't know what I'd be doing then, but
Utah Business, you're going to be looking

1249
01:01:59,704 --> 01:02:01,674
at me for at some point before I hit 40.

1250
01:02:02,104 --> 01:02:07,264
Um, that, like, she can mentor me, she
can give me advice, she can, like, she

1251
01:02:07,264 --> 01:02:10,864
pours into us just like we pour into
her, and, like, these are these beautiful

1252
01:02:10,864 --> 01:02:13,624
aspects of the relationships that
we're building through this experience.

1253
01:02:13,804 --> 01:02:17,554
Yeah, it's not like a,
what can I get from you?

1254
01:02:18,099 --> 01:02:18,599
Yes.

1255
01:02:18,759 --> 01:02:19,469
Type thing.

1256
01:02:19,509 --> 01:02:26,009
It's like, we're, okay, okay,
I'm gonna compare it to this.

1257
01:02:27,169 --> 01:02:32,579
Do you remember, was it Amy Poehler?

1258
01:02:32,619 --> 01:02:35,619
When they were like, announcing best.

1259
01:02:36,714 --> 01:02:40,924
Comedy actress and she go went up and
she stood on stage and then they all

1260
01:02:40,924 --> 01:02:45,354
go up and they're all Lincoln arms
like yes, and all the every nominee in

1261
01:02:45,354 --> 01:02:48,694
the category went up and they almost
created like a mock pageant on stage.

1262
01:02:48,844 --> 01:02:50,104
It's one of my favorite moments.

1263
01:02:50,104 --> 01:02:50,274
Yeah.

1264
01:02:50,534 --> 01:02:50,824
Yes.

1265
01:02:50,844 --> 01:02:54,074
Well, that's just definitely
like the energy that I have felt.

1266
01:02:54,394 --> 01:02:57,294
From this overall has been that for sure.

1267
01:02:57,544 --> 01:02:59,764
It's been, ugh, it's my favorite.

1268
01:02:59,774 --> 01:03:03,554
And I just, we just need more people
that are cheering for us behind

1269
01:03:03,554 --> 01:03:05,994
our backs instead of talking crap.

1270
01:03:06,664 --> 01:03:11,044
Because the people that are talking crap,
just like Allison from the Allison Show

1271
01:03:11,044 --> 01:03:15,244
was saying, like really that, it speaks
more about them than it does about us.

1272
01:03:15,574 --> 01:03:17,304
You absolutely.

1273
01:03:17,364 --> 01:03:20,504
And I also think to that, bless it.

1274
01:03:20,544 --> 01:03:24,554
I have had so many life experiences
that when I feel like someone is

1275
01:03:24,904 --> 01:03:28,214
navigating into that kind of territory
of like, I'm going to be petty.

1276
01:03:28,224 --> 01:03:29,024
I'm going to be comparative.

1277
01:03:29,024 --> 01:03:29,824
I'm going to do this.

1278
01:03:30,114 --> 01:03:33,484
I can meet them with Love, because I know
that's probably coming from a place of

1279
01:03:33,484 --> 01:03:38,474
insecurity, and, uh, and that's not like
a, oh, holier than thou kind of thing,

1280
01:03:38,474 --> 01:03:42,604
it's just like, hey, I feel like you're
hurting, and you want someone to validate

1281
01:03:42,604 --> 01:03:47,074
that, like, oh, this isn't as spectacular
as it is, and I just very gently am like

1282
01:03:47,074 --> 01:03:50,214
acknowledging where they're at, and how
they're feeling, but at the same time,

1283
01:03:50,214 --> 01:03:52,634
I'm like, I'm not going to diminish
her light, because that's awesome, like

1284
01:03:52,634 --> 01:03:57,644
what she's doing is awesome, and we
can subjectively, or objectively, Uh,

1285
01:03:57,654 --> 01:04:01,584
recognize that like that is a good thing
and what you're going through is valid

1286
01:04:01,584 --> 01:04:04,194
but that is still a good thing and we're
not going to diminish that so that you

1287
01:04:04,194 --> 01:04:10,024
feel better like that's not how this
works and and it's um but I agree like

1288
01:04:10,024 --> 01:04:13,994
Allison brought up a great thing it does
say more about that person and if we can

1289
01:04:13,994 --> 01:04:17,214
meet people where they're at and it's like
again the theme of like highly favored

1290
01:04:17,474 --> 01:04:21,714
is that we can recognize that people are
hurting people need connection people

1291
01:04:21,714 --> 01:04:27,244
need to be validated and genuine and true
relationships with one another um you But,

1292
01:04:27,644 --> 01:04:32,014
but yeah, I just think that more women,
the, you brought up this thing about like,

1293
01:04:32,324 --> 01:04:35,854
you know, how we talk about one, about
each other behind each other's backs.

1294
01:04:36,124 --> 01:04:40,554
That was something that I learned very
much through my active duty experience.

1295
01:04:40,924 --> 01:04:44,804
And it is important on one
hand to really discern that

1296
01:04:44,804 --> 01:04:46,094
not everyone is in your corner.

1297
01:04:46,454 --> 01:04:50,454
And no matter how bright and sparkly
and lovely and life giving you are

1298
01:04:50,454 --> 01:04:53,414
to everybody, not everyone is in your
corner and you've got to recognize that.

1299
01:04:53,734 --> 01:04:56,584
And, and, and also like, do not.

1300
01:04:57,674 --> 01:05:01,554
Um, like, brush over when
someone isn't showing up for you.

1301
01:05:01,734 --> 01:05:02,704
That is not your person.

1302
01:05:02,744 --> 01:05:05,734
It is so important to recognize,
like, okay, for your mental health

1303
01:05:05,734 --> 01:05:08,684
and your overall well being,
recognize they're not for you.

1304
01:05:09,124 --> 01:05:09,794
That goes there.

1305
01:05:10,354 --> 01:05:15,529
But for the people who are in your
corner, um, You, you want to highlight

1306
01:05:15,529 --> 01:05:18,079
people when they're not in the spaces
and I've seen that so much in the

1307
01:05:18,079 --> 01:05:21,729
pageant experience here and, and, you
know, a lot of the friendships that I

1308
01:05:21,729 --> 01:05:25,519
maintain where, like, we're not going
to speak poorly about someone else.

1309
01:05:25,549 --> 01:05:26,519
We're going to raise her up.

1310
01:05:26,719 --> 01:05:28,049
This is not the means for it.

1311
01:05:28,379 --> 01:05:28,939
And.

1312
01:05:30,084 --> 01:05:31,054
How can we do that?

1313
01:05:31,294 --> 01:05:33,904
Because every single one of us has
our insecurities, we're comparing,

1314
01:05:33,904 --> 01:05:37,214
we're doing this, and it is already
difficult enough to be a woman without

1315
01:05:37,274 --> 01:05:39,134
another woman trying to tear us down.

1316
01:05:39,414 --> 01:05:42,364
Like, we're, I was like, if anything,
I'm like, we're in the same camp,

1317
01:05:42,384 --> 01:05:45,314
and are we just trying to, like, pull
each other down back into the muck?

1318
01:05:45,344 --> 01:05:47,754
No, we're trying to rise each other,
like, help raise each other up.

1319
01:05:48,364 --> 01:05:52,274
Um, and, and that's just been an important
lesson that I've learned, is that when

1320
01:05:52,274 --> 01:05:56,284
you leave a table, you should be, sit
at tables where people are willing to

1321
01:05:56,294 --> 01:05:58,444
talk and, like, Pour life into you.

1322
01:05:58,684 --> 01:06:01,204
Do not keep sitting at tables
that are not for you anymore.

1323
01:06:01,564 --> 01:06:04,214
And no matter how much that hurts
and how difficult that is to navigate

1324
01:06:04,214 --> 01:06:05,684
that, do not sit at those tables.

1325
01:06:05,724 --> 01:06:06,794
Like they are not for you.

1326
01:06:07,254 --> 01:06:09,534
If anything, like you're getting
in your own way and you're

1327
01:06:09,574 --> 01:06:13,264
inhibiting opportunities that
are meant for you someplace else.

1328
01:06:13,324 --> 01:06:14,064
Like don't sit there.

1329
01:06:14,184 --> 01:06:15,244
Those are not your friends.

1330
01:06:15,274 --> 01:06:17,184
Those are not your need
to build a new table.

1331
01:06:17,944 --> 01:06:18,654
Absolutely.

1332
01:06:20,299 --> 01:06:21,599
You can absolutely build a new table.

1333
01:06:21,979 --> 01:06:25,229
There's probably an existing table of
people who are ready to like jazz you up.

1334
01:06:25,649 --> 01:06:27,299
And so like, I'm willing to gas her up.

1335
01:06:27,299 --> 01:06:30,959
And I mean, I think that's like been
the badging experience of like, this

1336
01:06:30,959 --> 01:06:35,969
is an existing table and Kaylin and
Abby introduced me to this table and

1337
01:06:35,969 --> 01:06:39,069
they like pulled up, pulled out my
seat and let me sit down kind of thing.

1338
01:06:39,399 --> 01:06:41,019
And, and I love that.

1339
01:06:41,069 --> 01:06:41,509
Right.

1340
01:06:41,909 --> 01:06:45,439
Um, and so sometimes you just have to find
those spaces, but like, keep looking for.

1341
01:06:45,774 --> 01:06:46,834
Those spaces don't sit where you're at.

1342
01:06:46,874 --> 01:06:50,554
I forgot, I'm sure it was like on TikTok
or something, but somebody was talking

1343
01:06:50,554 --> 01:06:54,844
about how like they were planning some
kind of event and they were so excited

1344
01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:58,564
about, you know, the attention to detail
that they poured into this entire thing

1345
01:06:58,934 --> 01:07:02,554
and the people who they were friends with
at the time were like mocking something.

1346
01:07:02,714 --> 01:07:03,714
Those are not your friends.

1347
01:07:03,964 --> 01:07:04,924
Those are not your friends.

1348
01:07:05,414 --> 01:07:08,364
Like the following year, I don't know
if it was the same event or something

1349
01:07:08,364 --> 01:07:13,204
like similar, but she was talking about
it and her new group of friends were

1350
01:07:13,204 --> 01:07:17,794
so excited about like the programs
and the attention to detail she put

1351
01:07:17,794 --> 01:07:20,894
into this or that or whatever, and
I'm like, and that's your circle.

1352
01:07:21,014 --> 01:07:22,314
Like, you know.

1353
01:07:22,769 --> 01:07:24,359
what right feels like.

1354
01:07:24,519 --> 01:07:27,829
If they're not pouring to you, if
they are not cheering so freaking

1355
01:07:27,829 --> 01:07:30,029
loudly, those are not your people.

1356
01:07:30,189 --> 01:07:31,489
And I've had to learn that the hard way.

1357
01:07:31,489 --> 01:07:33,919
So I'm saying this with
love to whoever's listening.

1358
01:07:34,119 --> 01:07:36,959
If your circle is not cheering for you
loudly, or you are concerned that your,

1359
01:07:37,119 --> 01:07:40,619
your circle is talking behind your back
or trying to bring you down or gossiping

1360
01:07:40,619 --> 01:07:41,839
about you, those are not your people.

1361
01:07:42,439 --> 01:07:44,059
May get them away from you.

1362
01:07:44,539 --> 01:07:45,889
People are so important.

1363
01:07:45,909 --> 01:07:48,529
Like we keep talking about community and.

1364
01:07:50,204 --> 01:07:52,254
That is in friendships too.

1365
01:07:52,254 --> 01:07:56,424
It's not just like community
within our local communities.

1366
01:07:56,434 --> 01:07:58,724
It's like the people you
surround yourself with.

1367
01:07:59,404 --> 01:07:59,784
Yes.

1368
01:07:59,784 --> 01:08:01,544
Yes.

1369
01:08:02,524 --> 01:08:03,734
I think you're amazing.

1370
01:08:03,764 --> 01:08:06,074
I have to go get my kid from school.

1371
01:08:07,114 --> 01:08:08,524
Thank you for talking with me.

1372
01:08:08,524 --> 01:08:10,028
I'm gonna end this.

1373
01:08:10,028 --> 01:08:10,404
Anytime.

1374
01:08:10,404 --> 01:08:14,889
I'm so glad that I could
like Do a third one, kinda.

1375
01:08:15,359 --> 01:08:17,149
I know, it's gonna be so fun.

1376
01:08:17,149 --> 01:08:19,739
It's only one episode.

1377
01:08:19,739 --> 01:08:21,909
Okay, I'm gonna let you end it.

1378
01:08:21,929 --> 01:08:25,444
I want you to tell us where we
can find you on Instagram and

1379
01:08:25,444 --> 01:08:27,594
all that stuff because we're
going to cut that old one out.

1380
01:08:28,064 --> 01:08:28,434
Okay.

1381
01:08:28,524 --> 01:08:28,954
Alrighty.

1382
01:08:29,444 --> 01:08:32,114
Well, everyone, thank you,
Amanda, for having me on today.

1383
01:08:32,114 --> 01:08:32,864
This is amazing.

1384
01:08:33,064 --> 01:08:33,674
I loved it.

1385
01:08:34,094 --> 01:08:36,914
Uh, it's always just an
absolute joy to talk to you.

1386
01:08:36,914 --> 01:08:37,624
You are such a light.

1387
01:08:37,994 --> 01:08:41,064
Um, for those who are listening,
if you want to follow my pageant

1388
01:08:41,064 --> 01:08:43,824
journey or learn more about my
platform, it is called Highly Favored.

1389
01:08:44,144 --> 01:08:49,169
Um, you can find me at Instagram under
Kim underscore Chatto, that's C H A T T O.

1390
01:08:49,459 --> 01:08:54,019
And then my podcast on Instagram is
called Highly Favored underscore Official.

1391
01:08:54,329 --> 01:08:58,539
And you can listen to my podcast on
all major streaming services because

1392
01:08:58,629 --> 01:09:02,159
I have learned how to make sure
they're on all streaming services.

1393
01:09:02,539 --> 01:09:05,129
Uh, but you can definitely find
it on Apple Podcasts and Spotify.

1394
01:09:05,129 --> 01:09:05,819
Give it a listen.

1395
01:09:06,059 --> 01:09:07,689
We feature all sorts of people.

1396
01:09:07,719 --> 01:09:10,649
If you want to learn more about all
the contestants, the title holders

1397
01:09:10,649 --> 01:09:12,019
who are competing, they're incredible.

1398
01:09:12,229 --> 01:09:14,239
Come check out, uh,
Amanda's featuring them.

1399
01:09:14,249 --> 01:09:16,549
I'm featuring them different
perspectives on those.

1400
01:09:16,549 --> 01:09:19,079
So we'd love to have you
over on highly favored.

1401
01:09:19,089 --> 01:09:22,889
And if you're interesting, like if you're
just doing life and you want to be on the

1402
01:09:22,889 --> 01:09:24,859
podcast, reach out, I'd love to have you.

1403
01:09:24,899 --> 01:09:25,719
We're going to have a good time.

1404
01:09:26,299 --> 01:09:27,169
I love it.

1405
01:09:27,179 --> 01:09:28,339
Thank you so much, Kim.

1406
01:09:28,339 --> 01:09:29,369
I think you're incredible.

1407
01:09:29,399 --> 01:09:30,209
That was.

1408
01:09:30,909 --> 01:09:35,549
Us, again, kind of, on the inner
workings of the not so genius mind.

1409
01:09:36,469 --> 01:09:37,889
Uh, take care of yourselves.

1410
01:09:38,179 --> 01:09:39,739
I hear it's a crazy world out there.