From Shadows to Spotlight: The Journey From Pain To Empowerment

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Hi, welcome to the inner workings of the not so genius mind.

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Diving deep into the ordinary mind to uncover extraordinary insights.

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I'm your host, Amanda McCombs.

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Our goal is to bring light to the shadows.

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Laughter to the tears and a sense of community to all those who tune in.

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Please share, like, and subscribe through your preferred podcast platform.

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You can find me at not so genius on Instagram.

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You probably have no idea who I am, but hang out for a while and you're going to get a very good look.

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at what has happened along the way to make me who I am.

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The love that grew from the ashes and the resilience it can take to be alive today.

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I am Mrs.

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Daybreak from the Mrs.

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Utah America program.

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I went from hardly being able to walk straight to dancing in six inch heels on a stage and I've like really had no idea where to start with this story.

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I mean, how can I even begin to untangle? What brought me to where I am now.

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There is a lot of heartbreak and a lot of trauma and resilience and compassion and somehow I still made it.

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I made it through.

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Let's go back to like a year and a half ago.

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in February when I was diagnosed with shingles through my sinuses and it was in my ear and all over the right side of my face.

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Like it was all up in here.

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Did you know that could happen? Did you know it can go inside your face? Did you know it can go in your head? It was in my eyelid.

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Um, and I'm young ish, right? I'm not very I'm in my 30s, late 30s, approaching 40.

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I'm not in my 60s, like they say.

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People normally get it.

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And now I'm hearing all the time, like after I got it really bad.

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I hear from people all the time around my age that are getting it.

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And, um, I was really fit.

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I was in the best shape of my life.

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I was teaching Arts Integrated P.

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E.

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Which my I loved it like a lot.

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That was one of my favorite things I did actually but um, I Once the shingles went through I I couldn't see or hear I was totally down So I got some articles for you help flying says that shingles is a rash that usually appears on one side of the chest and back.

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It can also develop on the side of the face and around the eye.

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The condition can be very painful and can sometimes have long term side effects.

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No cure for shingles is available, but early treatment can lower your risk of serious Complications.

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And it's more likely to happen if you have a compromised immune system.

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You can get it at any age, but your risk increases after 60 and it's no there there's we don't know why people get it on the face.

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And one out of three adults get it.

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I didn't, I had no idea what it was.

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I initially, when I went in, I was misdiagnosed with an ear infection and they gave me some eardrops and I tried that out and laid down and it was not working.

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My head hurt so bad.

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They were trying to tell me that I had swimmer's ear and I was like, Nope.

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Nope.

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Nope.

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Nope.

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Nope.

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Um, and because it had been long enough, there is an antiviral you can take that reduces the symptoms and like makes it not last as long.

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I didn't get it in time.

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It has to be given within three days to keep someone from having any long term or permanent damage.

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And to this day, like all this part of my face, my eye, and like all down my nose, and all along here, and even in parts of the back of my head, I can't feel.

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And I have, like, I looked it up.

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It's Posterpic Neuralgia.

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P H N.

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I'm totally saying that wrong.

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Um, it's damage to the nerves that can cause tingling, burning, pain, and other symptoms for months or years after the infection.

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And some people have constant pain, while other people have it, like, come and go over the years.

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And that is what's happening.

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In my face, behind my eyeball, and in my sinuses.

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And I'm still dealing with it.

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I'm probably, like, any time I ask any doctor about symptoms and how long it takes, they're like, oh, every case is different.

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We have no idea.

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So.

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Also, when I had shingles, it's not like I could put, like, all the creams that you can do on.

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Your face.

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It was real.

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It was awful.

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You guys, it was so hard to deal with.

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I couldn't even hear the sound of my own breathing without crying in pain.

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So like I have kids, I have animals, I have my husband, I'm supposed to teach.

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I love music.

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No voices, no music, nothing.

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Part of the time I had to have like, My eyes covered, and earplugs, and an ice pack, and blinds drawn, and like, nothing.

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No light and no sound.

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Nothing.

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Um, forget going outside.

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It was February.

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The sun reflecting off of the snow was awful.

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I needed noise canceling headphones.

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I needed Sunglasses.

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Like, if I had to ride somewhere in the car, my husband was so sweet, he went and got me a sleep mask so that I could put it on while we were driving in the car.

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And like, eye patches.

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Anything that I could do to like, Figure it out.

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It was awful.

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And once summer came, like the, I live by, I live in Daybreak because I miss this daybreak.

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And there's a beautiful lake.

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And I just have found a love for paddle boarding.

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And there was no way I could go out there with the light reflecting on the water.

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It was awful.

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And people would be like, Oh, you don't feel good.

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You should read this book.

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Or you should watch this movie.

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Or you should do this.

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Or you should do I literally couldn't do anything.

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I couldn't watch movies.

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I couldn't read books.

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I couldn't listen to books.

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I'm a teacher.

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They tried to, my husband tried to take me to a restaurant for my birthday and, um, I snacked on a fruit tart inside because the restaurant was too loud.

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That's what I did for my birthday treat.

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It was too loud.

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And I still wanted to go back to work.

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Um, the kids, when I was teaching PE, they would just call me coach.

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And some, some of them still do.

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I teach first grade now, but, um, I came back as the visual art teacher that had to wear a hat inside and sunglasses.

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Um, but somehow I was able to find life in the madness.

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And when I lost my balance, I was able to find others that could catch me.

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Like literally, my husband would hold my hand and guide me through it all.

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He picked up so much slack and I knew he was just as scared as I was.

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I knew he hated seeing me go through this and he just felt so totally helpless, but he took care of everything.

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Um, and he took care of me the best that he could.

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He drove the kids to all their lessons.

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He drove to school.

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He drove everywhere.

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I couldn't drive.

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Are you kidding me? That wasn't going to happen.

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And that was for months, months and months and months.

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And somehow I was still able to find joy.

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My priorities changed when I couldn't take in the world around me at my leisure.

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Um, now I can see and hear again and I am never, never taking that for granted.

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Holy smokes.

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After like a year and a half of battling awful pain, I can read like, I can actually read books.

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Yes.

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And I can see outside.

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I don't always have to wear sunglasses.

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Why is that so exciting? I don't know, but it really is.

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Um, I felt the world like had been taken away from me one piece at a time.

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And now I'm taking it all back in again.

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And I'm taking in like every little moment and I'm able to like be where I'm at and be happy with where I am and be thankful to even be alive.

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Um, my life is now defined by what it was like before shingles and after shingles.

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And you guys the world is, it's such a beautiful place.

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I'm so glad that I'm at a place I can take it in again.

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I took a lot of my life for granted.

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And I really had a lot of time to evaluate and process a lot of traumas that I had gone through in my life before I got shingles.

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And unfortunately, at the peak of my shingles, in February, My mother and stepfather's house burned down and I couldn't like, I barely remember hearing about it.

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Um, I couldn't look at pictures, forget taking a phone call.

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I couldn't hear.

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Um, but anyway, I wasn't able to do anything about it for months.

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And there's going to be more about that later.

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Cause you know, One traumatic thing at a time.

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I had so much time to think in all of that silence.

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And I was left alone with just the thoughts in my head.

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I had to rethink about my life.

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Like, did I do this to myself? Is this a punishment? Why me? Is this a curse? Am I even going to make it? I didn't even want to be here.

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I didn't want to be going through the pain that I had in my head and nobody could see, nobody could understand.

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I had already been working with a therapist, but this was like being forced to innerly, internally reflect and change.

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So here I am over a year later and I'm doing my best to live life to the fullest.

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And I'm wanting to live life to find joy and do things that make me happy.

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Um, I had to start taking care of myself.

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I was walking with a cane, like literally couldn't walk straight.

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And here's the question.

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How do I go from not being able to see, hear, or walk straight, thanks to shingles, to walking and dancing in six inch heels on stage? Um, who in their right mind would sign up for A beauty pageant knowing that they're a hot mess battling internal demons still with whatever weapons and tools they have.

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I think the literal words, um, to the people I signed up with were along the lines of, I would need a lot of work to be in a beauty pageant, but guess what? I did it.

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And it was so healing and I am thankful for all the friends I made and the whole experience.

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Um, the pageant gave me some kind of superpower or something.

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I'm more confident and I can see my value and like honestly kind of figured out what it really means to be empowered.

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Like they talk about empowerment all the time in beauty pageants, but I was surrounded by empowerment and I finally get it now and I, I'm ready.

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Guys, we are going to do so much talking.

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We're going to talk about all the feels and we're going to let it all out.

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And some of us might cry.

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Um, apparently I cry a lot.

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Now that's new cause I'm feeling things.

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I wasn't really letting myself feel before.

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Anyway, if you stuck around, thank you for coming to the inner workings of the not so genius mind.

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Tune in to the next episode and find out what happens next time.

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I don't know.

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We'll see where this goes.