Own Your Crown: Embracing Real Life, Real Beauty w/ Portia Blanchard

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Hello everyone and welcome to the Inner
Workings in the not so genius mind.

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It's me, the not so genius, and
Mrs. Daybreak, Amanda McCombs.

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And I'm here with our Mrs.
Maple Mountain Portia.

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Okay.

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I have to tell you something funny.

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So every time I see your name,
I have two stepdaughters and

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they're older now, and we went.

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Shopping and you know, like the beanie
booze with the big sparkly eyes.

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Of course there was one and its name
was Portia, but they were younger

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and they weren't reading Portia.

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Right.

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They were reading it.

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Portilla, Portilla.

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Of course, of course.

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Every time your name pops up in like
all of our chats, I'm like, it's Portia.

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It's Portia,

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and that's how you spell it.

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If you ever wanna look
me up, just think Portia.

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Portia, I'm, I'm shocked though that they
had a Beanie Baby or that little animal.

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That name was Port's

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a little puppy.

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I think we, oh my goodness.

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Have we have it somewhere, but
like every once in a while we'll

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just randomly shut a fortilla.

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Like it's a family inside joke.

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That's so great.

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Oh my goodness.

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It's best.

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It's so best.

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Anyway, hi.

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So I'm gonna let you introduce yourself a
little bit because I didn't go over that

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before I hit record, so let's do that.

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No, that's perfect.

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That's perfect.

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As you said, my name is Portia
Blanchard, and I am the mom of seven

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Adorable, crazy inspirational children.

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I know, I know.

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The oldest is 12 and the youngest is two.

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So they're all pretty close together.

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They are.

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Wow.

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Yes.

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My, I've been married for almost 14
years, so that is super exciting to

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celebrate and Jason is fantastic, and
I'm also an, like an internationally

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selling author of a book that's
actually inspired my youngest child.

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So that's just a little bit about me.

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Okay.

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I wanna hear more about all of
this, um, but, because I think

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a lot of what happened with your
youngest, what's her name again?

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Abigail.

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Abigail.

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Mm-hmm.

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I think a lot of that may be kind
of pushed you into this journey

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that led you into pageantry.

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So I'm not really sure what,
where to begin, like, do we start?

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Mm-hmm.

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With her story or do we start with
like, okay, okay, let just turn an egg.

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What do we do?

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I will, let me briefly tell her story.

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Okay.

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Because that, that did kind of lead
up to this, um, this passion that

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I feel that has led to pageantry.

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So Abigail is my seventh baby,
and all the other pregnancies

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were honestly very smooth.

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Like smooth deliveries,
smooth pregnancies.

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I had some that were born in
hospitals, some that were born at

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home, one was accidentally born
at home 'cause she came so fast.

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Like we've just had like a lot
of different experiences with how

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our babies came into the world.

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And Abigail.

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I don't know, maybe she
wanted to have her own story.

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I don't know what it was, but she,
yep, she was the youngest seventh one.

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Um, she was actually born
breach in ambulance crossing

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over the Missouri River.

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High speeds.

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Getting to the hospital, but she
was born dead, so no heartbeat.

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And they say that she had no
heartbeat between nine and 11 minutes.

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And medically that's a,
that's a very, very long time.

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Like we were expecting, lots
of brain damage, lots of like,

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we wanted to obviously just, we
wanted her, we wanted her to live.

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And so my husband is doing the
heart compressions on her in

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the ambulance, and I'm speaking
with her and rubbing her feet.

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And the medical team is
there doing what they can do.

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And when she came back,
when we were in the nicu.

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I wrote and I wrote just all the
feelings on my heart, the anger,

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the upset, but more importantly a
recognition that life is short and

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we don't know how much time we have.

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And what kind of hit me there was,
I'm like most of the time, like

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we wait until we're at someone's
funeral to speak life into them, to

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talk about the amazing things about
that person to celebrate their life.

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And I'm like, no more like I am done
waiting for life to look perfect or for

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things to all be figured out before I
start appreciating where I'm at right now.

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Oh, that's my kids knocking.

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I bet it's my 2-year-old.

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Just a minute.

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Oh, in fact, that's
Abigail probably knocking.

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She's two ads.

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She's too, she's healthy.

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She's a vibrant, she's running around.

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Yep.

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She's the boss of the house.

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Like it's, it was an incredible recovery.

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But with that message, I, I wrote a
book and I published it, and that's

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my platform now is like, don't wait.

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In fact, let me get her on the camera.

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How long was she in the NICU for?

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So she was in the nicu?

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Well, with NICU standards,
it was not very long.

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It was like between like.

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Two and a half, three weeks.

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Yeah.

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That's so what?

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Hi Abigail.

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You wanna come on in?

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Come on in, sweetie.

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Hey Princess, we're talking about you.

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I wanna say hi.

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We, do you hear us saying your name?

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Hi you.

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You're wearing your sister
shoes and your sister's dress.

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Well, beautiful.

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I love it.

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Happy Oh and love she has
with a little baby piggy tail.

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Of course.

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Just enough hair.

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So sweet.

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So sweet.

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Oh yeah.

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But yeah, like she, she, I won't go
into all the details with her NICU day,

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just 'cause that's more details, but
like seeing a mom of seven, I'm like,

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I I am enjoying my children right now.

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Yeah.

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And I'm also pursuing my talents
and I'm sharing this message

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with the community right now.

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There is.

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It's like a two part message.

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One is you don't need to rush your life.

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Like where you're at
right now is beautiful.

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Yeah.

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But also, you don't need to wait for
anyone to give you permission to start

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doing the things that you wanna to do.

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Hi,

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cutie.

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You so darling.

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I'm sorry.

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You're, it's gonna have all the background
noise with her, but, and that's okay.

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That kind of her just kind
of makes it real, right?

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Yes.

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Because these all a part of it.

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Oh my gosh.

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And the dress is on backwards.

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It's on backwards, of course.

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She's so cute.

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So cute.

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When I was talking with you
beforehand, I'm like, this

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is the message I wanna share.

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Yeah.

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Like I'm showing you today, no makeup.

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My face is flushed.

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My, my daughter's coming on with
her dress on backwards while

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we're recording a podcast like.

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Life is beautiful right now
and just, just show up and let

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yourself start negotiating it.

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Yes.

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You tell me hi.

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Oh, you have all the monies.

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She's got the money.

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So I'm the youngest of seven kids.

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Did you know that?

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I did not.

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So yeah, but there's 18 years
between my sister and I. Okay.

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So like by the time.

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I am making memories.

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Most of my older siblings are all out
of the house and having kids and going

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on missions and doing all that stuff.

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So like most of my older siblings,
just with the spread, we didn't really

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get to spend a lot of time together.

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Yeah, totally different dynamic.

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It is.

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It really is.

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And each dynamic, dynamic
is good in its own way.

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Like having children close
together, it's busy, it's crazy.

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It's always loud.

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There's always something going on.

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But seeing them play together like
that is just makes my heart so happy.

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So there's always good in
every family situation.

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So my husband, his oldest is 18,
and then the next one is 17, and

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then my daughter from Florida is
16 and then he and I together have

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an 8-year-old and a 4-year-old.

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And,

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um.

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Or we're a blended family.

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But I hate calling it that
because it seems so forceful.

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Like you're putting everything
in a blender and you're gonna

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try to make everybody get along.

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It doesn't work like that.

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So.

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Great.

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And I'm trying to remember, like,
I was trying to figure out dating

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and all that as a single mom.

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And I remember, um, it being, listening to
something, I can't remember what it was.

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I think it was some type of self-help
book, but it talked about how instead

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of calling it a blended family,
it should be more like a crockpot

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or like a slow cooker family.

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Yes.

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Stuff in at different times and
go together at different times.

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But like they can all come together.

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Still be individual and still like
hold their unique values together.

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They make something.

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Yep.

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I'm gonna pass her off to one
of my kids, to another friend.

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I do want to hear
everything you're saying.

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Hey,

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just sweet.

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You wanna go hang out with the kiddos?

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No you don't.

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You want your throat?

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I'll let you go.

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Put her away.

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Okay, here we go.

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Let's take her down here.

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It was so hard.

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You go,

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here you go.

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Thrashing.

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Take you notes.

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Could you hold on to
Abigail for me please?

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While chat with my friend?

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There you go.

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Thank you.

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You know what?

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I'm okay.

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I'm upstairs.

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I can have them cut that out.

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Perfect.

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I was hoping.

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Okay.

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Because I'm like, I don't
wanna have as cute as she can.

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Okay.

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She's so cute.

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She just needs a little bit of.

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Oh, there you are.

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I lost you for a sec.
She's so cute though.

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Okay.

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Mess.

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She's like, it's all

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about

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me.

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Yep.

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She's like, here, lemme tell my own story.

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She really is.

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So cute.

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So you had already It was two.

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Okay.

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Hold on.

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Two and a half, three-ish weeks.

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My, and then I, the other thing I was
gonna tell you, my youngest, that's

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four, he was born during Covid.

259
00:10:14,122 --> 00:10:14,212
Mm-hmm.

260
00:10:15,357 --> 00:10:17,272
And it was June.

261
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:22,582
So I didn't know if anybody was
gonna be able to even come in to

262
00:10:22,612 --> 00:10:25,972
the hospital with me because there
was so many restrictions and stuff.

263
00:10:26,452 --> 00:10:30,202
Um, and then after he was born, um.

264
00:10:31,042 --> 00:10:35,692
Even though he was so big, he was
my biggest baby, his lungs were

265
00:10:35,692 --> 00:10:40,072
just not quite developed enough yet.

266
00:10:40,552 --> 00:10:43,072
And so he stayed in the NICU for a week.

267
00:10:43,882 --> 00:10:43,972
Mm-hmm.

268
00:10:44,752 --> 00:10:48,712
Uh, because of the one visitor thing, it
was, I was the only one that could go in

269
00:10:48,712 --> 00:10:52,732
there 'cause I was breastfeeding and like
trying to keep my supply up and stuff.

270
00:10:52,732 --> 00:10:55,702
So my poor husband didn't
even see his son for a week.

271
00:10:55,702 --> 00:10:56,992
He came home on Father's Day.

272
00:10:57,982 --> 00:10:58,402
Wow.

273
00:10:59,032 --> 00:10:59,632
But that is

274
00:11:01,252 --> 00:11:05,182
anything that's been you, there's
all the feelings and every

275
00:11:05,182 --> 00:11:06,832
person's story is different.

276
00:11:06,952 --> 00:11:10,282
Like, I remember being told
like, you need to get out, you

277
00:11:10,282 --> 00:11:12,862
need to go be sane, go shopping.

278
00:11:13,102 --> 00:11:16,702
So I'd go to the store and go
Christmas shopping, which was close

279
00:11:16,702 --> 00:11:20,062
to the hospital, but then I'd see
some friends at the store and they're

280
00:11:20,062 --> 00:11:21,862
like, oh, I heard about your baby.

281
00:11:21,952 --> 00:11:23,422
So then I feel so guilty.

282
00:11:23,512 --> 00:11:25,252
I'm like, yeah, I'm here.

283
00:11:25,252 --> 00:11:26,452
Christmas shopping, just.

284
00:11:26,797 --> 00:11:29,317
It, but it, yeah, it's been tough.

285
00:11:29,317 --> 00:11:35,947
Like, but there's, there's so much that
you feel when you're a mom in general,

286
00:11:36,247 --> 00:11:37,514
but when you're a mom, well, there's a mom

287
00:11:37,519 --> 00:11:38,107
guilt.

288
00:11:38,257 --> 00:11:38,857
Yes.

289
00:11:38,887 --> 00:11:39,547
Yes.

290
00:11:39,547 --> 00:11:43,987
And leaving that baby's side to
go and do anything you just, you

291
00:11:43,987 --> 00:11:47,977
don't like, it's that natural
maternal instinct to wanna be there.

292
00:11:48,692 --> 00:11:49,112
Mm-hmm.

293
00:11:49,537 --> 00:11:51,097
But at the same, which is beautiful.

294
00:11:51,727 --> 00:11:56,917
So good shame, like, we
deserve to have lives too.

295
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:58,087
And they're not gonna be perfect.

296
00:11:58,087 --> 00:11:59,317
And they're gonna be messy.

297
00:11:59,617 --> 00:12:00,127
Yes.

298
00:12:00,132 --> 00:12:00,472
Mm-hmm.

299
00:12:00,817 --> 00:12:01,927
And that's okay.

300
00:12:02,107 --> 00:12:02,377
Yep.

301
00:12:02,827 --> 00:12:06,757
And I also think sometimes a, a
coping mechanism is like if you're

302
00:12:06,757 --> 00:12:10,657
in a hard situation or a life
is messy, or something's come up

303
00:12:10,657 --> 00:12:12,307
that you weren't expecting, yes.

304
00:12:12,337 --> 00:12:14,317
You've gotta be present, you've
gotta be on top of things.

305
00:12:14,317 --> 00:12:16,687
Like you are in that,
like that survival mode.

306
00:12:16,807 --> 00:12:16,897
Mm-hmm.

307
00:12:17,137 --> 00:12:23,197
But also you have to give yourself that,
that space to be like, you wanna what?

308
00:12:24,292 --> 00:12:26,992
Yes, I can be having a baby
that's in the NICU right now

309
00:12:27,292 --> 00:12:29,632
and I can go Christmas shopping.

310
00:12:29,692 --> 00:12:34,522
I can't, like I get to create that
space for me, which is applicable

311
00:12:34,522 --> 00:12:36,142
to any situation you come up.

312
00:12:36,352 --> 00:12:41,332
If you're in a traumatic situation,
you can still go out and have time with

313
00:12:41,332 --> 00:12:47,452
your girlfriends, you can still let
yourself relax and watch a Netflix show.

314
00:12:47,452 --> 00:12:47,902
Like

315
00:12:47,992 --> 00:12:48,322
yeah,

316
00:12:48,352 --> 00:12:52,702
you have to start creating that
sense of balance so you can be

317
00:12:52,702 --> 00:12:54,022
able to process what's going on.

318
00:12:54,322 --> 00:12:56,122
Yeah, that's really important.

319
00:12:56,302 --> 00:13:02,542
Well, and like, especially if your
baby is I the NICU or in the hospital

320
00:13:02,662 --> 00:13:04,882
doing, doing some time there.

321
00:13:05,572 --> 00:13:05,782
Ugh.

322
00:13:06,262 --> 00:13:07,552
I hate saying it like that.

323
00:13:07,792 --> 00:13:10,522
Um, they're in good hands.

324
00:13:10,567 --> 00:13:13,717
Yes, they have people that are
watching them and taking care of them.

325
00:13:13,717 --> 00:13:18,247
And mama, you've gotta rest and recover
too, because if you don't, then you're

326
00:13:18,247 --> 00:13:23,197
not gonna be able to take care of
the baby when it is in your hands.

327
00:13:23,197 --> 00:13:25,207
'cause you're already gonna be too tired.

328
00:13:25,627 --> 00:13:25,927
Mm-hmm.

329
00:13:26,677 --> 00:13:27,697
Um, I talked, it's such

330
00:13:27,697 --> 00:13:29,917
a good lesson about just trusting.

331
00:13:30,307 --> 00:13:30,487
Yeah.

332
00:13:30,487 --> 00:13:34,597
Like, we can't be in, we cannot be in
control of everything, no matter how

333
00:13:34,597 --> 00:13:39,127
hard we desperately want to, we have
to start relying on people around us.

334
00:13:39,217 --> 00:13:39,277
Yeah.

335
00:13:39,277 --> 00:13:47,017
Because like, our health matters too, and
our priorities and our self-confidence,

336
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:50,287
whatever, fill in the blank for you,
you've gotta start trusting people around

337
00:13:50,287 --> 00:13:53,137
you so you can be able to experience that.

338
00:13:53,557 --> 00:13:58,057
Well in our, our tiny
humans, they're watching us.

339
00:13:59,542 --> 00:14:03,352
And like from a teacher standpoint,
'cause I taught first grade

340
00:14:03,352 --> 00:14:04,552
forever and ever and ever.

341
00:14:04,942 --> 00:14:10,012
Um, I taught PE for a tiny bit
and taught art for a tiny bit, but

342
00:14:10,012 --> 00:14:11,632
that's a totally different story.

343
00:14:12,382 --> 00:14:16,372
They're watching everything you're doing,
they're picking up your mannerisms and

344
00:14:16,372 --> 00:14:20,302
the phrases you say, they even did it
with me and I wasn't with them as often.

345
00:14:20,842 --> 00:14:24,202
Um, but we're their example.

346
00:14:24,292 --> 00:14:30,682
So when we're struggling and it's
okay for us to go and get help and

347
00:14:30,682 --> 00:14:35,947
use our community, then it's gonna,
I. Strengthen that for the next

348
00:14:36,397 --> 00:14:38,257
generation that's watching us, right?

349
00:14:38,257 --> 00:14:38,737
Yes.

350
00:14:38,797 --> 00:14:39,457
Yes, it does.

351
00:14:39,457 --> 00:14:43,117
We want to so hard, like we want to just
be like this perfect example and have

352
00:14:43,117 --> 00:14:46,297
everything figured out for our kids, and
sometimes we can feel that guilt of like,

353
00:14:46,357 --> 00:14:50,257
oh, I'm not a good enough mom, or I'm
not a good enough example of X, Y, and Z.

354
00:14:50,557 --> 00:14:52,957
But just you being a real example.

355
00:14:52,987 --> 00:14:56,617
Again here we're talking about being
real in a pageant episode series, we're

356
00:14:56,617 --> 00:15:01,837
talking about just showing up real where
it's like you being a real mom, if you

357
00:15:01,837 --> 00:15:05,707
go up to them and say, Hey, I'm sorry
for what I said, that was really hurtful.

358
00:15:05,707 --> 00:15:10,117
I didn't mean that I was frustrated, but I
said things that I wish I could take back.

359
00:15:10,117 --> 00:15:11,047
Can you forgive me?

360
00:15:11,827 --> 00:15:13,747
Like that is an example.

361
00:15:13,747 --> 00:15:14,047
That's ownership.

362
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:14,227
Yeah.

363
00:15:14,962 --> 00:15:18,487
It's like, so yes, they are watching
you and you do not have to be

364
00:15:18,487 --> 00:15:25,897
perfect or have things figured out
for them to, to have that, that good

365
00:15:25,897 --> 00:15:27,187
view, that inspiration from you.

366
00:15:27,697 --> 00:15:28,117
Yeah.

367
00:15:28,822 --> 00:15:32,017
Um, I loved when.

368
00:15:32,677 --> 00:15:34,267
Did you finish your classes?

369
00:15:34,267 --> 00:15:38,347
This kind of seems off topic,
but I it's like kind of on topic.

370
00:15:38,347 --> 00:15:39,697
Your classes with Katie.

371
00:15:40,447 --> 00:15:40,867
Yes.

372
00:15:40,867 --> 00:15:42,247
You all master certified?

373
00:15:42,247 --> 00:15:42,337
Yes.

374
00:15:42,367 --> 00:15:48,097
I'm now a certified makeup artist
by Katie who's amazing and I, ugh.

375
00:15:48,187 --> 00:15:48,697
Yes.

376
00:15:48,702 --> 00:15:48,732
So

377
00:15:48,852 --> 00:15:50,167
I doing people's makeup.

378
00:15:50,377 --> 00:15:55,027
I loved sitting in the chair and
having you just take care of me and

379
00:15:55,027 --> 00:15:59,917
do my makeup for a minute and just
like watching you look at me and take

380
00:15:59,917 --> 00:16:03,757
in these tiny little details like I
had to try not to cry 'cause you were

381
00:16:03,757 --> 00:16:07,117
being so nice and saying all these
really, really nice things about me.

382
00:16:07,117 --> 00:16:10,177
And you just talked about the
features that you wanted to bring out.

383
00:16:10,747 --> 00:16:16,537
Um, just the weight, your view, like
that is a really good example for

384
00:16:16,537 --> 00:16:18,967
your girls too because I think like

385
00:16:21,127 --> 00:16:25,027
we talk about like the way that we
talk about ourselves and our bodies

386
00:16:25,207 --> 00:16:29,167
and the way we carry ourselves is
an example to our girls as women.

387
00:16:29,437 --> 00:16:29,527
Yes.

388
00:16:29,917 --> 00:16:30,607
Um.

389
00:16:31,192 --> 00:16:34,882
So, yeah, you can show up and be
pretty and wear the evening down

390
00:16:34,972 --> 00:16:38,662
gown, but you also gotta get down
and dirty and do the yucky stuff.

391
00:16:39,262 --> 00:16:39,412
Yeah.

392
00:16:39,592 --> 00:16:42,052
And exercise and wash your face, right?

393
00:16:42,052 --> 00:16:42,502
Mm-hmm.

394
00:16:42,952 --> 00:16:43,462
Like I, and

395
00:16:43,462 --> 00:16:46,942
I'll say I love doing makeup.

396
00:16:47,242 --> 00:16:51,107
Like it is such an artistry thing for
me and exactly how you described it.

397
00:16:51,112 --> 00:16:53,602
Like when I am, when I'm looking
at you, when I'm looking at the

398
00:16:53,602 --> 00:16:58,012
person in the chair, I just see
this beautiful canvas that God has

399
00:16:58,012 --> 00:17:04,192
created or that time has shaped,
and it's like, this is, this is you.

400
00:17:04,702 --> 00:17:08,002
So we're gonna take your beautiful
eyes and we're gonna make them pop.

401
00:17:08,242 --> 00:17:11,452
We're gonna take the, the
smile lines that you have, and

402
00:17:11,452 --> 00:17:13,222
we're gonna just make 'em glow.

403
00:17:13,222 --> 00:17:15,292
We're gonna take the apples
of your cheeks, right?

404
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:16,642
Or the shape of your lips.

405
00:17:16,642 --> 00:17:17,872
Like it's just about.

406
00:17:18,562 --> 00:17:21,742
Seeing the beauty in you and Yes.

407
00:17:21,742 --> 00:17:27,742
Today I chose to show up with no makeup
because while I'm showing for my girls

408
00:17:27,742 --> 00:17:32,182
that you can be a mom, you can be a
mom of many kids and you can still

409
00:17:32,422 --> 00:17:34,552
find confidence and beauty in yourself.

410
00:17:34,882 --> 00:17:39,982
And many times for my girls, what they
see is, oh, mom feels confident and she

411
00:17:39,982 --> 00:17:42,442
feels beautiful when she has makeup on.

412
00:17:42,772 --> 00:17:42,892
Mm-hmm.

413
00:17:43,132 --> 00:17:43,312
When

414
00:17:43,312 --> 00:17:44,692
she's dressed up in her gown.

415
00:17:44,932 --> 00:17:51,712
And while I do, because it's just a way
of me artistically expressing myself, I'm

416
00:17:51,712 --> 00:17:58,462
also choosing to show up in situations
where I have no makeup on where my

417
00:17:58,462 --> 00:18:00,202
kids are coming in during the podcast.

418
00:18:00,202 --> 00:18:01,162
It's not a perfect situation.

419
00:18:01,162 --> 00:18:01,222
Yeah.

420
00:18:01,432 --> 00:18:06,142
But my girls know out there that I have a
message that I'm sharing with people and

421
00:18:06,142 --> 00:18:07,612
I get to have this time with my friends.

422
00:18:07,612 --> 00:18:09,262
Like they it.

423
00:18:09,262 --> 00:18:09,502
Yeah.

424
00:18:09,682 --> 00:18:11,152
I just love that.

425
00:18:12,277 --> 00:18:18,067
Self-confidence is something that develops
over time because our bodies change and

426
00:18:18,067 --> 00:18:20,137
the experiences that we go through change.

427
00:18:20,137 --> 00:18:23,017
So if you're in a space right now
where you're looking at yourself in the

428
00:18:23,017 --> 00:18:26,317
mirror and you're like, I don't even
recognize who this person is anymore.

429
00:18:26,317 --> 00:18:30,877
I don't even, I don't even like who I
see, or I'm just, we, we can all get

430
00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,017
to that point where it's like, Ugh.

431
00:18:32,887 --> 00:18:33,337
You again?

432
00:18:33,337 --> 00:18:33,397
Yeah.

433
00:18:33,817 --> 00:18:34,297
In the mirror.

434
00:18:34,777 --> 00:18:34,927
Yeah.

435
00:18:35,227 --> 00:18:41,767
But to recognize it's like, yes,
that person is always there for you.

436
00:18:42,037 --> 00:18:44,317
So it's time to start
appreciating that person.

437
00:18:44,467 --> 00:18:44,947
Yeah.

438
00:18:45,337 --> 00:18:50,887
Well, and like, it's time to appreciate
all the past versions of yourself

439
00:18:50,947 --> 00:18:53,377
that got you to where you are.

440
00:18:53,437 --> 00:18:57,457
Like, it took me a long, I went
through a lot, um, and it took me

441
00:18:57,457 --> 00:19:04,417
a long time to like be able to look
back on those past chapters of my

442
00:19:04,417 --> 00:19:06,667
life and not wanna burn the pages.

443
00:19:06,697 --> 00:19:08,917
And not even, like, I
didn't even wanna look.

444
00:19:09,947 --> 00:19:15,202
Yeah, I wanted nothing to do with
it, but like, taking ownership of

445
00:19:15,202 --> 00:19:24,352
my life, owning my story and sharing
my story is like the whole purpose.

446
00:19:24,682 --> 00:19:27,622
Not the whole purpose, but
it's like it's healing me.

447
00:19:27,982 --> 00:19:32,452
It is a big part of the purpose, but
it's a big part of the purpose, right?

448
00:19:32,457 --> 00:19:32,577
Mm-hmm.

449
00:19:33,197 --> 00:19:36,052
And like I was teaching last year.

450
00:19:36,052 --> 00:19:40,342
This is my first year not teaching,
so I just don't know how, I do

451
00:19:40,342 --> 00:19:42,442
not know how to relax apparently.

452
00:19:42,802 --> 00:19:48,142
Um, like I took a break from teaching
for a minute, but I got a master's and

453
00:19:48,142 --> 00:19:52,462
had a baby and was teaching again anyway.

454
00:19:54,292 --> 00:19:54,742
Oh my goodness.

455
00:19:54,802 --> 00:20:01,852
Um, so I don't really know how to relax,
but, um, it's that whole, it's the whole.

456
00:20:02,842 --> 00:20:04,342
Last year I did the pageant.

457
00:20:04,342 --> 00:20:05,302
It was my first year.

458
00:20:05,482 --> 00:20:06,622
I had no idea what I was doing.

459
00:20:07,012 --> 00:20:13,222
And now this year, because of
the pageant I had, I was really

460
00:20:13,222 --> 00:20:15,952
able to reevaluate what I needed.

461
00:20:16,672 --> 00:20:16,882
Mm-hmm.

462
00:20:17,482 --> 00:20:19,822
And I had to quit my job, which sucked.

463
00:20:20,032 --> 00:20:26,002
Like I thank goodness my husband is able
to take care of us the way that he can.

464
00:20:26,362 --> 00:20:32,272
So that like my focus, I went and I looked
at the Mrs. Utah America website and I was

465
00:20:32,272 --> 00:20:36,742
trying to like reshift my focus from last
year and really think about the purpose.

466
00:20:37,072 --> 00:20:40,342
Like why am I doing the
pageant in the first place?

467
00:20:41,572 --> 00:20:44,932
'cause why, why do I wanna
be Mrs. Utah America?

468
00:20:44,932 --> 00:20:46,192
I have no idea.

469
00:20:46,612 --> 00:20:51,622
Um, I didn't even realize that like you
won prizes or that it went on to Mrs.

470
00:20:51,622 --> 00:20:58,702
America until they were talking about
plans to go watch them at Mrs. America.

471
00:20:58,702 --> 00:21:01,462
And I was like, oh my
gosh, that's a real thing.

472
00:21:01,567 --> 00:21:06,637
I don't know why, I don't know
why I didn't register in my head.

473
00:21:06,937 --> 00:21:12,787
Like, uh, uh, uh, and you see, I watch
these girls go through this transformation

474
00:21:12,787 --> 00:21:18,997
and um, it's a refining process where
like you get rid of the stuff that

475
00:21:18,997 --> 00:21:22,687
you don't need and you reevaluate
and you figure out what's important.

476
00:21:22,687 --> 00:21:22,777
Yes.

477
00:21:23,347 --> 00:21:30,217
And like your message, what you really
wanna make clear is that like taking pride

478
00:21:30,217 --> 00:21:37,027
in yourself and just showing up as you are
is more important than being being pretty.

479
00:21:38,102 --> 00:21:40,807
It it, it is, it really is.

480
00:21:40,897 --> 00:21:44,737
And I understand the, I think
that's Abigail knocking again.

481
00:21:45,517 --> 00:21:45,757
Jeez.

482
00:21:47,557 --> 00:21:47,587
Okay.

483
00:21:47,587 --> 00:21:48,667
Pause for just a minute.

484
00:21:48,727 --> 00:21:49,357
Okay.

485
00:21:49,357 --> 00:21:49,987
I'll pause it.

486
00:21:51,697 --> 00:21:51,937
Yes.

487
00:21:52,717 --> 00:21:53,317
There we go.

488
00:21:53,767 --> 00:21:59,227
Okay, so I wanted to talk about,
you mentioned, yes, you mentioned

489
00:21:59,227 --> 00:22:01,507
that you wanted to like, just
not even look at the past.

490
00:22:01,537 --> 00:22:04,537
You wanted to forget about it,
and now we're talking about just

491
00:22:04,537 --> 00:22:07,477
showing up even if it's not perfect.

492
00:22:07,837 --> 00:22:11,827
So with Abigail's birth
story, we had a photographer

493
00:22:11,827 --> 00:22:13,477
there, a person taking videos.

494
00:22:14,857 --> 00:22:15,007
My gosh,

495
00:22:15,007 --> 00:22:15,127
are

496
00:22:15,127 --> 00:22:15,907
you kidding?

497
00:22:15,907 --> 00:22:16,777
No, no.

498
00:22:16,777 --> 00:22:19,087
And it's the first time we ever did that.

499
00:22:19,207 --> 00:22:21,697
Oh, we're like, this is
gonna be our last baby.

500
00:22:22,027 --> 00:22:23,677
Let's get someone there videoing it.

501
00:22:24,037 --> 00:22:29,347
And then when everything got
crazy, I'm like, I am never

502
00:22:29,437 --> 00:22:32,797
going to watch that video ever.

503
00:22:33,277 --> 00:22:34,627
Like not going to,

504
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:35,257
yeah.

505
00:22:35,287 --> 00:22:35,467
So

506
00:22:35,467 --> 00:22:41,467
it took me a while and I'm finally
like, you wanna know what I, I'm

507
00:22:41,467 --> 00:22:43,057
gonna, I'm gonna start this video.

508
00:22:43,897 --> 00:22:49,207
So I started it and I, it's almost like.

509
00:22:50,167 --> 00:22:55,867
I could see this past version of
me, and I knew all the pain that

510
00:22:55,867 --> 00:22:59,467
she was about to go through and the
heartache that she didn't know that

511
00:22:59,467 --> 00:23:02,227
was coming in just a few moments.

512
00:23:02,857 --> 00:23:06,487
And I just wanted to hug her and be
like, you are gonna get through it.

513
00:23:06,877 --> 00:23:06,937
Yeah.

514
00:23:06,937 --> 00:23:09,907
And it's gonna shape you and
you're going to be able to share

515
00:23:09,907 --> 00:23:12,667
that message of hope with others.

516
00:23:13,267 --> 00:23:17,467
And so the first, the first time I watched
that video, it was such a blessing to me.

517
00:23:18,007 --> 00:23:21,157
Then flash forward a few months
later, I'm like, I wanna go

518
00:23:21,157 --> 00:23:22,117
back and watch that video again.

519
00:23:22,627 --> 00:23:29,947
So I open up the laptop and I click play,
and I literally felt all the pain again,

520
00:23:30,067 --> 00:23:34,357
seeing my face in the contractions,
seeing Abigail go into the nicu.

521
00:23:34,657 --> 00:23:35,827
My body was like.

522
00:23:36,277 --> 00:23:37,627
Turn this off now.

523
00:23:38,167 --> 00:23:38,257
Yeah.

524
00:23:38,257 --> 00:23:39,397
So I did, I didn't finish it.

525
00:23:39,487 --> 00:23:40,477
I closed the laptop.

526
00:23:40,537 --> 00:23:42,577
I'm like, I, no, I cannot.

527
00:23:42,997 --> 00:23:48,247
So with our past, you might be in
a phase where you can look back

528
00:23:48,247 --> 00:23:51,727
with that appreciation and that
gratitude for it, or you might be

529
00:23:51,727 --> 00:23:54,247
in a phase where it's like, no way.

530
00:23:54,487 --> 00:23:55,837
I am not reliving that.

531
00:23:55,837 --> 00:23:59,287
And both is completely okay.

532
00:23:59,377 --> 00:24:04,477
And it, your past is still valuable.

533
00:24:04,957 --> 00:24:06,727
You don't have to relive
it if you don't want to.

534
00:24:07,117 --> 00:24:08,107
You don't have to think about it.

535
00:24:08,617 --> 00:24:11,077
There's things that you don't wanna,
you just wanna, don't wanna go there,

536
00:24:11,677 --> 00:24:14,797
but it has made you who you are today.

537
00:24:15,097 --> 00:24:15,337
Yeah.

538
00:24:15,337 --> 00:24:18,097
So like, own your crown.

539
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:21,637
You've survived it, you've lived
through it like you're divine.

540
00:24:21,817 --> 00:24:22,477
Own your crown.

541
00:24:22,477 --> 00:24:23,167
Show up that way.

542
00:24:23,212 --> 00:24:24,127
Oh, I love it.

543
00:24:24,817 --> 00:24:27,487
Um, there's a tree outside my house.

544
00:24:27,487 --> 00:24:29,017
It's an elderberry tree.

545
00:24:29,857 --> 00:24:34,657
And all along my driveway, when I
was living in Bountiful, we had.

546
00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,807
Elderberry, not
elderberry, choke cherries.

547
00:24:37,807 --> 00:24:39,157
It was a choke cherry tree.

548
00:24:39,847 --> 00:24:44,527
I didn't realize it was a choke cherry
tree until like it was blooming.

549
00:24:44,527 --> 00:24:46,897
And I was like, those blooms look
familiar, because they were the

550
00:24:46,897 --> 00:24:48,907
same blooms at my old driveway.

551
00:24:49,897 --> 00:24:54,757
Um, and I didn't know that they
had a smell because when I lived

552
00:24:54,757 --> 00:24:56,317
in that house, I had a stalker.

553
00:24:57,457 --> 00:25:01,177
So my brain, like I was not
ready to process any of that.

554
00:25:01,177 --> 00:25:06,667
It took lots of therapy and my brain
was just like not ready to go there.

555
00:25:07,267 --> 00:25:07,507
Mm-hmm.

556
00:25:08,107 --> 00:25:11,677
And then finally after I did
tons of therapy, all of a sudden

557
00:25:11,707 --> 00:25:12,667
I could smell the tree again.

558
00:25:13,447 --> 00:25:13,867
I was like, what?

559
00:25:14,857 --> 00:25:15,697
What the heck?

560
00:25:15,697 --> 00:25:21,907
And it was so strong, but I
couldn't even, I couldn't even face.

561
00:25:22,822 --> 00:25:26,632
Looking back at that just 'cause
like my bo my body was not ready.

562
00:25:27,292 --> 00:25:27,352
Okay.

563
00:25:27,352 --> 00:25:28,402
My brain wasn't ready.

564
00:25:28,402 --> 00:25:29,992
I had so many other things.

565
00:25:29,992 --> 00:25:34,162
And sometimes, you know, especially
when we're younger, we're so resilient.

566
00:25:34,462 --> 00:25:38,482
You can bounce right back and just
keep going and bounce back and keep

567
00:25:38,482 --> 00:25:40,612
going and bounce back and keep going.

568
00:25:40,672 --> 00:25:43,432
But that's exhausting.

569
00:25:43,432 --> 00:25:44,242
We can't do that.

570
00:25:44,242 --> 00:25:46,522
Sometimes it's okay to
stay down for a minute.

571
00:25:47,122 --> 00:25:47,602
Yes.

572
00:25:47,602 --> 00:25:51,712
Unless, figure out what direction
you wanna go when you get back up.

573
00:25:52,247 --> 00:25:52,667
Mm-hmm.

574
00:25:53,542 --> 00:25:54,892
And that is beautiful.

575
00:25:54,892 --> 00:25:57,982
If we were to look outside right
now, we would see that there,

576
00:25:58,402 --> 00:26:02,182
it's, it's winter just barely
turning into spring a little bit.

577
00:26:02,182 --> 00:26:05,482
It tries to pretend out there
that it's spring sometimes.

578
00:26:06,052 --> 00:26:09,352
But like I see some trees that
are totally, they look dead.

579
00:26:09,412 --> 00:26:09,772
Mm-hmm.

580
00:26:10,012 --> 00:26:11,062
They look totally dead.

581
00:26:11,842 --> 00:26:15,772
But give it a couple months and
that tree is gonna be blossoming

582
00:26:15,832 --> 00:26:17,122
and it's gonna be beautiful.

583
00:26:17,152 --> 00:26:20,722
So we, we know with nature that it's.

584
00:26:21,682 --> 00:26:24,172
Natural to take time.

585
00:26:24,172 --> 00:26:28,042
So just hibernate to just slow down.

586
00:26:29,002 --> 00:26:32,182
We've had seasons where we
have canceled all activities.

587
00:26:32,272 --> 00:26:35,242
It's like, nope, we're
not doing anything extra.

588
00:26:35,482 --> 00:26:37,342
We're just having the evenings open.

589
00:26:37,732 --> 00:26:41,122
And it has been beautiful and healing.

590
00:26:41,387 --> 00:26:43,912
And we have other seasons where
it's like we have something

591
00:26:43,912 --> 00:26:45,022
going on every single night.

592
00:26:45,742 --> 00:26:45,832
Right.

593
00:26:45,832 --> 00:26:47,902
And that is beautiful also.

594
00:26:47,932 --> 00:26:52,822
And it's, it's developing like, so
just don't overcomplicate things

595
00:26:52,822 --> 00:26:53,662
If you need to take a break.

596
00:26:53,932 --> 00:26:54,682
Take a break.

597
00:26:54,802 --> 00:26:57,143
If you're not ready to process
something, don't make yourself yet.

598
00:26:57,532 --> 00:27:01,762
Like all in due time, there
is no, there's no rush.

599
00:27:02,032 --> 00:27:06,112
Well, and I love the idea of
just being able to show up, like

600
00:27:06,112 --> 00:27:10,012
be present in your body and be
able to show up however you are.

601
00:27:10,702 --> 00:27:11,242
Mm-hmm.

602
00:27:11,482 --> 00:27:13,012
Um, because.

603
00:27:13,717 --> 00:27:17,797
People can tell if you're being fake,
if you're putting on a, well, usually,

604
00:27:17,797 --> 00:27:21,877
I don't know, maybe you're really good
at it, but, um, usually people can tell

605
00:27:21,877 --> 00:27:26,017
like what your intentions are and they'll
be like, Ooh, I don't like that person.

606
00:27:26,557 --> 00:27:26,797
Yeah.

607
00:27:26,977 --> 00:27:27,337
Um,

608
00:27:29,647 --> 00:27:30,727
how did you end

609
00:27:30,727 --> 00:27:31,597
up in the pageant?

610
00:27:33,157 --> 00:27:38,077
Okay, so I knew someone that
was doing the Miss pageant.

611
00:27:38,077 --> 00:27:38,107
Okay.

612
00:27:38,317 --> 00:27:39,337
The Miss Utah pageant.

613
00:27:39,697 --> 00:27:44,647
And she told me that there was
a misses, which I guess I had, I

614
00:27:44,647 --> 00:27:47,887
guess I had known though because
like I had followed ballerina farm.

615
00:27:48,217 --> 00:27:48,277
Yeah.

616
00:27:48,277 --> 00:27:51,007
But it just kind of like the dots
could have connected and I'm like,

617
00:27:51,007 --> 00:27:51,847
oh my goodness, there's a MRS.

618
00:27:51,847 --> 00:27:52,237
Pageant.

619
00:27:52,507 --> 00:27:57,667
So I actually watched the Mrs.
Utah pageant on YouTube from the

620
00:27:57,667 --> 00:27:59,587
previous year, so I saw you in it.

621
00:27:59,677 --> 00:28:00,127
Oh, by God.

622
00:28:01,207 --> 00:28:02,977
And hey, look at you hiding.

623
00:28:02,977 --> 00:28:03,637
No, own.

624
00:28:03,637 --> 00:28:04,537
Your own

625
00:28:06,727 --> 00:28:08,017
the Mrs. Utah pageant.

626
00:28:08,257 --> 00:28:08,977
And.

627
00:28:09,352 --> 00:28:14,122
What finally clicked for me, which is
kind of funny because like the swimsuits,

628
00:28:14,122 --> 00:28:17,272
like the most like controversial part
of the swimsuit, like of the pageant.

629
00:28:17,782 --> 00:28:21,532
But when I watch those ladies walking
across the stage in their swimsuit and

630
00:28:21,532 --> 00:28:25,132
all the body builds are different and
hearing the different traits about them,

631
00:28:25,132 --> 00:28:29,873
they all have their own unique talents,
their own backstories, traumas, traumas,

632
00:28:30,052 --> 00:28:35,812
accomplishments, like, but watching them
in their swimsuits walk across the stage,

633
00:28:35,842 --> 00:28:41,992
it clicked where I'm like each person,
not just each person on the stage, each

634
00:28:41,992 --> 00:28:49,072
person, the audience, each person in the
state, each person is already a queen.

635
00:28:49,552 --> 00:28:49,732
Yeah.

636
00:28:49,912 --> 00:28:52,552
And in this pageant, yes.

637
00:28:52,552 --> 00:28:55,432
One person gets the crown, or
depending which organization you

638
00:28:55,432 --> 00:28:57,592
are in, maybe it's, maybe it's
three people that get the crown.

639
00:28:57,892 --> 00:28:58,132
Yeah.

640
00:28:58,162 --> 00:29:01,162
But each person's already loyal.

641
00:29:01,852 --> 00:29:04,702
So when I'm doing this
pageant, it's not too.

642
00:29:05,872 --> 00:29:07,252
Prove something.

643
00:29:07,282 --> 00:29:11,092
It's not too, oh, I have to
do this to get that crown.

644
00:29:11,542 --> 00:29:17,812
It's just about celebrating my
light while also being surrounded by

645
00:29:17,812 --> 00:29:21,592
people who's like, I'm celebrating
and I just wanna represent that

646
00:29:21,592 --> 00:29:22,552
for people in the audience too.

647
00:29:22,852 --> 00:29:24,352
Or it's like, you're already queens.

648
00:29:24,622 --> 00:29:28,102
You just get to come on the stage
and celebrate and be vulnerable.

649
00:29:29,032 --> 00:29:33,532
And there's so much of a growing process
that goes through behind what you see.

650
00:29:34,102 --> 00:29:34,612
Yeah.

651
00:29:34,822 --> 00:29:35,962
Stage there is.

652
00:29:35,962 --> 00:29:38,242
So we, it's a lot of work.

653
00:29:38,422 --> 00:29:40,192
It's like, it's a lot of work.

654
00:29:40,732 --> 00:29:46,312
And like last year, I love
that you're saying that.

655
00:29:46,312 --> 00:29:48,802
It's like, we're already queens.

656
00:29:48,862 --> 00:29:49,282
Right?

657
00:29:49,672 --> 00:29:56,392
Last year when we had our queen dinner,
they gave us all teeny tiny little tiaras.

658
00:29:56,812 --> 00:29:56,932
Oh.

659
00:29:57,472 --> 00:30:01,162
And they're like, you
are like you are royalty.

660
00:30:01,642 --> 00:30:03,592
Like you are already a queen.

661
00:30:04,162 --> 00:30:06,802
You have claimed a title.

662
00:30:07,312 --> 00:30:14,032
Um, and the next day is when, 'cause
that was, so we have our interviews and

663
00:30:14,032 --> 00:30:15,382
then we'll have our queen sleepover.

664
00:30:15,382 --> 00:30:18,382
And we don't really like
all sleep in the same room.

665
00:30:18,382 --> 00:30:22,432
It's just like we're hanging out newing a
gift exchange and cute pajamas and stuff.

666
00:30:22,432 --> 00:30:24,202
And then supposedly go to bed early.

667
00:30:27,862 --> 00:30:32,782
And um, then the shows the next
day it's like hair and makeup and

668
00:30:32,782 --> 00:30:34,822
rehearsal and go, go, go, go, go.

669
00:30:34,912 --> 00:30:35,362
Right?

670
00:30:35,362 --> 00:30:35,452
Mm-hmm.

671
00:30:35,877 --> 00:30:36,097
Um,

672
00:30:38,632 --> 00:30:42,652
and it was after we got our
teeny tiny little chiara's.

673
00:30:43,372 --> 00:30:44,272
'cause I just went in.

674
00:30:44,272 --> 00:30:47,152
I was like, I'm gonna go in and
enjoy myself and figure it out.

675
00:30:47,752 --> 00:30:48,292
Um,

676
00:30:50,302 --> 00:30:57,202
it really was just a celebration of how
incredible all these different people are.

677
00:30:57,832 --> 00:30:58,372
Yes.

678
00:30:58,582 --> 00:31:00,262
And everything that they've been through.

679
00:31:01,327 --> 00:31:06,037
Um, and I was cheering like crazy
for every single one of 'em.

680
00:31:06,037 --> 00:31:09,577
Like, I knew I wasn't gonna win
a dang thing, but I was happy to

681
00:31:09,577 --> 00:31:13,807
be there and just be surrounded
by all these amazing humans.

682
00:31:13,807 --> 00:31:15,817
And the second it was over, I
was like, I'm doing it again.

683
00:31:16,087 --> 00:31:16,207
You

684
00:31:16,882 --> 00:31:17,742
had already won.

685
00:31:18,337 --> 00:31:21,067
Like, and even like the fact
of doing it again, it's like,

686
00:31:21,067 --> 00:31:22,747
yeah, I went through that.

687
00:31:22,747 --> 00:31:26,497
I walked across the stage in
a swimsuit, I danced in heels.

688
00:31:26,497 --> 00:31:31,927
I, I served the whole year
with my platform and I love it.

689
00:31:31,987 --> 00:31:32,767
I'm gonna do it again.

690
00:31:33,007 --> 00:31:39,727
One thing that's been really big and,
um, transformational for me is being,

691
00:31:39,937 --> 00:31:45,187
well, maybe not all moms are this way,
but for me, my perspective as a mom

692
00:31:45,187 --> 00:31:49,207
of seven children who I love dearly
and a husband that I love dearly,

693
00:31:49,477 --> 00:31:58,957
is I have learned that I have a hard
time talking about me or sharing.

694
00:32:00,457 --> 00:32:02,977
How I feel about myself.

695
00:32:03,247 --> 00:32:05,647
If someone's like, Hey,
tell me about yourself.

696
00:32:05,947 --> 00:32:11,557
It's like, oh, well my husband says
that X, Y, and Z. My sister-in-law

697
00:32:11,557 --> 00:32:14,497
thinks I'm really good at X, Y, and Z,

698
00:32:15,247 --> 00:32:15,430
but what do you think?

699
00:32:15,430 --> 00:32:15,907
I see what you're saying.

700
00:32:15,907 --> 00:32:16,447
Yes,

701
00:32:16,447 --> 00:32:18,547
my children love this and
this and this about me.

702
00:32:18,817 --> 00:32:23,167
But what I learned with this pageant,
which is so good for every woman

703
00:32:23,167 --> 00:32:29,767
out there to learn, is like you
are your own incredible woman and

704
00:32:29,767 --> 00:32:34,357
you're a mom and you're a spouse,
your wife, and you're a teacher,

705
00:32:34,357 --> 00:32:35,587
whatever it is, like these things.

706
00:32:35,587 --> 00:32:36,817
You have all of these things.

707
00:32:36,817 --> 00:32:37,807
Yeah, all of these things.

708
00:32:38,017 --> 00:32:41,377
Whatever you want or don't want, it's
your choice what you want, like with any

709
00:32:41,377 --> 00:32:48,547
of that, but like what do you think about
you and can you show up to a photo shoot

710
00:32:48,697 --> 00:32:55,207
or can you make a post or can you stand
on the stage where it's just you owning.

711
00:32:55,597 --> 00:32:56,017
You.

712
00:32:56,617 --> 00:32:56,677
Yeah.

713
00:32:56,677 --> 00:33:00,877
Owning your body, owning
your past experiences, owning

714
00:33:01,267 --> 00:33:03,277
even the sound of your voice.

715
00:33:03,307 --> 00:33:04,927
Like, we're doing this right here.

716
00:33:04,927 --> 00:33:07,147
We have to own what our voice sounds like.

717
00:33:07,147 --> 00:33:09,877
There's some people that are like,
I hate the sound of my voice.

718
00:33:09,937 --> 00:33:10,957
That was me.

719
00:33:11,707 --> 00:33:17,557
Like, we have to own, okay, this might
drive me crazy, but this is me and I'm

720
00:33:17,557 --> 00:33:21,397
showing up anyways, and I'm getting
past the point of being like, it's like,

721
00:33:21,397 --> 00:33:24,217
you know, when someone's like, oh, I
love your outfit, and you are like, oh,

722
00:33:24,217 --> 00:33:28,297
thanks, but I've been wearing it the
past two days, or I got it super cheap.

723
00:33:28,297 --> 00:33:29,048
So that's why I like it.

724
00:33:29,053 --> 00:33:31,027
Why are you knocking it down a peg?

725
00:33:31,117 --> 00:33:32,197
Why do we knock it down?

726
00:33:32,197 --> 00:33:38,407
It's like, oh, I, I, I almost
have children, but my house is

727
00:33:38,407 --> 00:33:41,977
always a mess and it's, I'm always
late for everything and like.

728
00:33:42,382 --> 00:33:46,462
You just try and like, it's just so
natural to put yourself down first

729
00:33:46,702 --> 00:33:51,832
instead of being, being like, I
love being a mom of seven children.

730
00:33:52,042 --> 00:33:54,412
It's loud, it's fun, it's adventurous.

731
00:33:54,682 --> 00:33:55,852
I love it.

732
00:33:55,912 --> 00:33:59,422
Yes, there are days where
I am exhausted, but hello?

733
00:33:59,452 --> 00:34:01,432
Like I'd be exhausted anyways.

734
00:34:01,702 --> 00:34:01,972
Right.

735
00:34:02,452 --> 00:34:04,372
It's just owning your story.

736
00:34:04,462 --> 00:34:10,042
Well, and I was pointing up here 'cause
I got two of those, I got in 2014.

737
00:34:10,617 --> 00:34:11,037
Mm-hmm.

738
00:34:11,122 --> 00:34:11,632
Mm-hmm.

739
00:34:11,722 --> 00:34:15,862
I didn't ping them up or put
them in frames or do like, I kept

740
00:34:15,862 --> 00:34:21,172
them closed and in their books
until like, a few months ago.

741
00:34:21,832 --> 00:34:23,992
And for people that are listening
to the podcast not watching it,

742
00:34:23,992 --> 00:34:25,102
she's talking about her degrees.

743
00:34:25,342 --> 00:34:25,582
Oh yeah.

744
00:34:25,642 --> 00:34:30,472
That she worked hard for and earned
and then just hid to the side.

745
00:34:30,682 --> 00:34:31,222
Yeah.

746
00:34:32,062 --> 00:34:37,102
Um, yeah, I went and got my master's and I
didn't really like, I was just like, Hmm.

747
00:34:37,162 --> 00:34:37,642
Okay.

748
00:34:38,467 --> 00:34:38,977
Now what?

749
00:34:38,977 --> 00:34:39,097
But

750
00:34:39,097 --> 00:34:39,997
that's what we do.

751
00:34:39,997 --> 00:34:44,677
Like I, I know so many women that
work hard and they graduate and

752
00:34:44,677 --> 00:34:45,907
it's like, oh, when are you walking?

753
00:34:46,237 --> 00:34:49,117
Oh, I'm not like, it's,
it's not that big of a deal.

754
00:34:49,117 --> 00:34:50,227
It's just the walk.

755
00:34:50,227 --> 00:34:52,362
It's never like, celebrate yourself.

756
00:34:52,632 --> 00:34:53,922
Celebrate yourself.

757
00:34:54,142 --> 00:34:57,097
If you're doing, like, if you're
doing laundry, you did laundry

758
00:34:57,097 --> 00:34:58,717
that day, celebrate that.

759
00:34:58,717 --> 00:35:00,877
That is something you pay for
someone to come do for you.

760
00:35:00,907 --> 00:35:04,747
Like celebrate the big things,
celebrate the small things.

761
00:35:04,957 --> 00:35:09,487
If you are taking a day to stay
in a robe and to not get ready

762
00:35:09,817 --> 00:35:11,797
and to relax, celebrate that.

763
00:35:11,857 --> 00:35:15,037
You are taking a day to just decompress.

764
00:35:15,097 --> 00:35:19,657
Like it's time to start celebrating
who you are more vocally.

765
00:35:20,017 --> 00:35:20,557
Yeah.

766
00:35:20,797 --> 00:35:21,697
Living out loud.

767
00:35:22,447 --> 00:35:22,537
Mm-hmm.

768
00:35:23,257 --> 00:35:29,497
I talk about, um, I mean I've
had, I've had a lot of situations

769
00:35:29,557 --> 00:35:31,927
that happened to me that probably
shouldn't have happened to me.

770
00:35:32,407 --> 00:35:35,707
Um, and the way that we react to them.

771
00:35:36,217 --> 00:35:38,887
Says a lot about who we are.

772
00:35:39,937 --> 00:35:44,467
And I think, oh, there was a
direction I was going with this.

773
00:35:46,657 --> 00:35:48,037
You were talking about living out loud.

774
00:35:48,247 --> 00:35:49,327
Oh yeah.

775
00:35:50,647 --> 00:35:57,577
A lot, especially moms, we kind
are quiet when we're suffering

776
00:35:57,607 --> 00:35:59,137
or when something's going on.

777
00:35:59,437 --> 00:36:01,837
And we don't wanna show weakness.

778
00:36:02,017 --> 00:36:07,897
We don't wanna ask for help, we wanna
act, or like it was, this was like

779
00:36:07,897 --> 00:36:11,947
the perception that I got from my
mom for a long time was that she's

780
00:36:11,947 --> 00:36:13,597
put together, everything's okay.

781
00:36:14,257 --> 00:36:14,737
Yes.

782
00:36:14,947 --> 00:36:15,427
Right.

783
00:36:15,727 --> 00:36:20,107
And like she's gotta, she's gotta
be steady because everybody's

784
00:36:20,107 --> 00:36:21,967
looking to her for what to do.

785
00:36:22,447 --> 00:36:24,697
And that's like the
kind of the same thing.

786
00:36:24,727 --> 00:36:30,547
But I don't want that kind of like
everybody is looking at me and I

787
00:36:30,577 --> 00:36:33,667
have my life altogether and perfect
because I definitely don't have

788
00:36:33,667 --> 00:36:35,137
my life altogether and perfect.

789
00:36:36,067 --> 00:36:36,967
I'm on my computer.

790
00:36:36,967 --> 00:36:39,487
Else I would like pick you up and take
you around the house and you would see my

791
00:36:39,487 --> 00:36:46,237
house is like, it's a mess and it's half
finished and like the carpet's a disaster.

792
00:36:46,237 --> 00:36:46,387
Right?

793
00:36:46,387 --> 00:36:46,537
We'll

794
00:36:46,537 --> 00:36:48,127
sit with our nice background behind us.

795
00:36:48,127 --> 00:36:49,447
I actually have friends in the corner.

796
00:36:49,447 --> 00:36:51,817
We've been here for like
a month in our new home.

797
00:36:51,907 --> 00:36:54,427
But yeah, you guys just,
it's under construction.

798
00:36:54,667 --> 00:36:56,287
Life is always under construction.

799
00:36:56,587 --> 00:36:56,887
Yeah,

800
00:36:56,947 --> 00:36:57,697
it really is.

801
00:36:57,697 --> 00:37:00,877
And it's sometimes it's okay to
totally demolish and rebuild, right?

802
00:37:01,687 --> 00:37:02,257
Mm-hmm.

803
00:37:02,707 --> 00:37:05,857
But like we've lived, we own this house.

804
00:37:05,857 --> 00:37:06,787
We've lived here

805
00:37:09,097 --> 00:37:11,587
almost five years now, I think.

806
00:37:12,217 --> 00:37:15,277
And we're just now putting
stuff up on the walls.

807
00:37:15,457 --> 00:37:17,197
But we've lived here forever.

808
00:37:17,197 --> 00:37:20,557
Like why am I acting like
this is a temporary space?

809
00:37:20,797 --> 00:37:21,127
Mm-hmm.

810
00:37:21,487 --> 00:37:25,417
Why am I not taking up room and like
hanging up all the pictures of my family

811
00:37:25,417 --> 00:37:27,247
and like the art and the whatever, like.

812
00:37:28,522 --> 00:37:29,242
Why?

813
00:37:29,302 --> 00:37:32,872
Why am I acting like I'm not
gonna be here for a long time?

814
00:37:32,872 --> 00:37:35,812
Like it's not, I don't like that idea.

815
00:37:35,842 --> 00:37:38,992
Like I wanna be able to live.

816
00:37:39,412 --> 00:37:39,712
Yes.

817
00:37:39,712 --> 00:37:39,802
And

818
00:37:39,802 --> 00:37:44,662
just be like, I think we're worried
about taking up space and we don't

819
00:37:44,662 --> 00:37:49,042
wanna show weakness 'cause we don't
want other people to look down on us

820
00:37:49,042 --> 00:37:53,512
because we look and everybody has it all
put together and then we really don't.

821
00:37:54,292 --> 00:37:54,562
Yep.

822
00:37:54,832 --> 00:37:57,292
I think it's something though
that we unintentionally

823
00:37:57,592 --> 00:38:00,112
express to people and Yeah.

824
00:38:00,112 --> 00:38:03,742
Have grown up hearing of like the
don't take up space even even me today.

825
00:38:03,982 --> 00:38:07,042
So we're folding laundry, mountain
of laundry, we're slowly folding

826
00:38:07,042 --> 00:38:11,032
it and I'm like, I'm gonna turn
on the Miss America pageant from.

827
00:38:11,407 --> 00:38:13,837
Earlier this year, I'm like, I
just wanna watch it, get some

828
00:38:13,837 --> 00:38:14,917
inspiration from the girls.

829
00:38:15,277 --> 00:38:17,887
So I'm watching it with my six daughters.

830
00:38:17,887 --> 00:38:19,087
I have one son and six daughters.

831
00:38:19,657 --> 00:38:20,317
I'm watching it.

832
00:38:20,797 --> 00:38:21,997
I know, it's crazy.

833
00:38:21,997 --> 00:38:22,357
Alice.

834
00:38:22,747 --> 00:38:26,707
Um, when the, when the interview
question came on, the onstage

835
00:38:26,707 --> 00:38:27,667
question, that's what it's called.

836
00:38:27,967 --> 00:38:28,147
Oh yeah.

837
00:38:28,147 --> 00:38:31,567
The onstage question happened and the
girls have a certain amount of time to

838
00:38:31,567 --> 00:38:33,757
answer, and then the little bell rings.

839
00:38:34,082 --> 00:38:37,202
And their time is up and all,
all their answers were great.

840
00:38:37,202 --> 00:38:38,042
They know what you're gonna say.

841
00:38:38,312 --> 00:38:42,932
Well, so my girl asked me, she's like,
she's like, like, why does the bell ring?

842
00:38:43,262 --> 00:38:46,022
I'm like, well, the bell ring when
it's time rings and tells 'em when

843
00:38:46,022 --> 00:38:49,262
it's time to stop talking, because
you don't wanna take up anyone else's

844
00:38:49,262 --> 00:38:53,462
space or time and you don't wanna bore
people with too long of an answer.

845
00:38:53,612 --> 00:38:56,522
And after I said that, I'm like,
okay, I literally am just talking

846
00:38:56,522 --> 00:38:58,742
about taking up someone else's space.

847
00:38:59,072 --> 00:39:02,042
Like she's not taking anyone else's
space by her sharing the answer

848
00:39:02,282 --> 00:39:05,252
and talking about not wanting to
bore people by talking too long.

849
00:39:05,552 --> 00:39:09,092
And I'm like, I so often if someone's
like, how are you doing today?

850
00:39:09,242 --> 00:39:10,142
Or telling about you?

851
00:39:10,442 --> 00:39:11,827
He's like, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah,

852
00:39:11,827 --> 00:39:12,362
blah, blah, blah.

853
00:39:12,362 --> 00:39:14,972
You'll answer because it's like,
oh, I don't wanna bore them.

854
00:39:14,972 --> 00:39:15,872
Don't wanna take up too much time.

855
00:39:15,872 --> 00:39:16,622
They probably don't care.

856
00:39:17,132 --> 00:39:20,522
So I just learned from me from
watching these other pageant ladies and

857
00:39:20,527 --> 00:39:24,062
talking with my girls like, Hmm, what?

858
00:39:24,632 --> 00:39:26,582
How would have I wanted
to answer that instead.

859
00:39:26,912 --> 00:39:30,842
So, but the nice thing is, is I can go
back and talk with my girls and be like,

860
00:39:30,842 --> 00:39:33,152
Hey, I realized this is what I said about.

861
00:39:33,697 --> 00:39:35,287
This pageant interview question.

862
00:39:35,917 --> 00:39:36,307
Oh, cool.

863
00:39:36,397 --> 00:39:40,807
I am learning and processing
the same things myself, that you

864
00:39:40,807 --> 00:39:42,037
don't have to give a short answer.

865
00:39:42,097 --> 00:39:44,557
You don't have to be the smallest
one in the room, so you don't

866
00:39:44,557 --> 00:39:45,487
take up anyone else's light.

867
00:39:45,517 --> 00:39:50,167
You can shine bright, you can
passionately talk about yourself,

868
00:39:51,607 --> 00:39:54,787
because that doesn't mean that
you're not caring about someone else.

869
00:39:55,117 --> 00:39:55,237
Yeah.

870
00:39:55,237 --> 00:39:59,197
It just means you're learning to be
okay and proud of who you are too.

871
00:39:59,587 --> 00:40:00,127
Yeah.

872
00:40:00,697 --> 00:40:05,977
Well, and um, just because
you're shining doesn't mean other

873
00:40:05,977 --> 00:40:08,437
people are shining less bright.

874
00:40:08,887 --> 00:40:09,307
Yes.

875
00:40:09,307 --> 00:40:14,142
There isn't a reason that we're taking
away from anybody else by taking up space.

876
00:40:15,037 --> 00:40:16,807
That's a quote that I shared actually.

877
00:40:17,257 --> 00:40:21,937
Um, I did a post on social media
today talking about myself.

878
00:40:21,937 --> 00:40:22,057
Really?

879
00:40:22,147 --> 00:40:24,937
Because that's been a stretch for me.

880
00:40:25,207 --> 00:40:26,617
And I shared a quote.

881
00:40:26,707 --> 00:40:27,787
I don't have it memorized.

882
00:40:27,847 --> 00:40:30,487
Um, gonna look, but it's about

883
00:40:31,147 --> 00:40:31,447
'
cause you're

884
00:40:31,447 --> 00:40:31,717
on your phone.

885
00:40:32,527 --> 00:40:32,917
There you go.

886
00:40:32,917 --> 00:40:33,367
Perfect.

887
00:40:33,367 --> 00:40:36,577
When you, when you shine your
light, you are giving people

888
00:40:36,577 --> 00:40:39,757
permission to also shine your light.

889
00:40:40,057 --> 00:40:41,827
You are not taking anything away from them

890
00:40:43,147 --> 00:40:45,247
celebrating your light and beauty.

891
00:40:45,487 --> 00:40:46,477
Oh my goodness.

892
00:40:46,537 --> 00:40:47,797
Is this your website?

893
00:40:48,487 --> 00:40:49,237
My website,

894
00:40:49,237 --> 00:40:49,657
yeah.

895
00:40:50,107 --> 00:40:53,197
And that's my whole, that's my
whole theme with makeup artistry.

896
00:40:53,197 --> 00:40:55,267
It's celebrating your
beauty and your light.

897
00:40:55,537 --> 00:40:55,932
Oh my goodness.

898
00:40:56,167 --> 00:40:59,257
You get to also be glammed up with
makeup or the book that I've written.

899
00:40:59,257 --> 00:41:02,947
It's celebrating your life right now
and not waiting till your funeral.

900
00:41:03,367 --> 00:41:07,507
Like it just all ties together of
celebrating you and your light.

901
00:41:08,077 --> 00:41:11,677
Oh, I'm looking at your, I love you.

902
00:41:13,572 --> 00:41:15,127
So scaring.

903
00:41:15,217 --> 00:41:15,727
Oh yeah.

904
00:41:15,727 --> 00:41:16,477
And here's this one.

905
00:41:16,477 --> 00:41:17,407
Tell me about yourself.

906
00:41:18,757 --> 00:41:24,337
Yeah, I, so, and that's usually like the
first question that you will get asked

907
00:41:24,487 --> 00:41:30,037
when you're sitting down or like, I even
have a hard time sometimes answering

908
00:41:30,037 --> 00:41:31,267
like, what's your favorite food?

909
00:41:31,267 --> 00:41:33,997
Because I'm not usually
thinking about what food I want.

910
00:41:34,867 --> 00:41:38,137
I'm thinking about what food
everybody, like how am I gonna make

911
00:41:38,137 --> 00:41:40,717
all these tiny humans Ah, interesting.

912
00:41:40,717 --> 00:41:40,777
Yeah.

913
00:41:41,647 --> 00:41:41,917
Yeah.

914
00:41:42,397 --> 00:41:46,237
So I'm thinking about what their
favorite things are and it, I am less

915
00:41:46,237 --> 00:41:48,277
focused on what my favorite things are.

916
00:41:49,207 --> 00:41:50,497
That's why it's so good.

917
00:41:50,497 --> 00:41:53,407
I'm so glad there's a Mrs. Pageant.

918
00:41:53,527 --> 00:41:53,617
Yeah.

919
00:41:53,647 --> 00:41:56,017
Like genuinely for people that
are listening that haven't

920
00:41:56,017 --> 00:42:00,487
been a pageant before, like
you don't have to, but why not?

921
00:42:00,547 --> 00:42:01,987
Like sign up for a pageant.

922
00:42:02,017 --> 00:42:04,567
'cause you're going to learn
so much about yourself.

923
00:42:04,867 --> 00:42:07,957
Even simple questions like,
tell me about yourself.

924
00:42:08,257 --> 00:42:10,327
You're going to realize, oh, actually.

925
00:42:11,462 --> 00:42:11,682
Who?

926
00:42:11,827 --> 00:42:12,517
Who am I?

927
00:42:12,667 --> 00:42:13,297
Who am I?

928
00:42:13,927 --> 00:42:14,557
The main?

929
00:42:14,707 --> 00:42:20,857
The main reason it's, well, not the main
reason, there's so many reasons, but

930
00:42:21,067 --> 00:42:24,517
it's really important to figure out how
you're going to answer all those questions

931
00:42:24,517 --> 00:42:31,267
and who you are, just like what your
center is, because you only have so many

932
00:42:31,267 --> 00:42:33,577
minutes with each one of those judges.

933
00:42:33,577 --> 00:42:34,807
And that's half your score.

934
00:42:35,227 --> 00:42:36,397
Yes, Uhhuh.

935
00:42:36,637 --> 00:42:39,787
So if you're like ho humming and
you can't answer the question,

936
00:42:39,787 --> 00:42:43,177
you're like, oh, they're not gonna
be able to figure out who you are

937
00:42:43,867 --> 00:42:45,607
because they want to get to know you.

938
00:42:45,607 --> 00:42:48,757
And I think like most people, when
they ask you, even if they're not

939
00:42:48,757 --> 00:42:50,407
a pageant judge, they ask you, Hey.

940
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:51,742
What are you into?

941
00:42:51,742 --> 00:42:52,822
Tell me about yourself.

942
00:42:53,152 --> 00:42:57,112
They really do wanna get to know
you, so get to know yourself.

943
00:42:57,262 --> 00:43:00,022
Have a few pointers where it's
like, Hey, I love relaxing at

944
00:43:00,022 --> 00:43:02,602
home, or I love getting outside.

945
00:43:02,632 --> 00:43:03,922
I love watching Netflix.

946
00:43:03,922 --> 00:43:04,762
I love writing.

947
00:43:04,762 --> 00:43:07,132
I like, I love collecting books
and forgetting to read them.

948
00:43:07,552 --> 00:43:08,002
Yes.

949
00:43:08,002 --> 00:43:10,702
Like, just, just say,
just get to know yourself.

950
00:43:10,792 --> 00:43:11,002
Right.

951
00:43:11,002 --> 00:43:15,322
And don't be afraid when someone says,
Hey, time about you to be like, okay.

952
00:43:15,682 --> 00:43:18,262
Why is it so hard to like,
have pride in who we are?

953
00:43:18,262 --> 00:43:18,772
Right.

954
00:43:19,882 --> 00:43:23,872
I think it's the, for me, what I've
realized during this pageant process

955
00:43:24,172 --> 00:43:29,512
is like, I am, I, I am morph and I
change depending on who I'm with.

956
00:43:29,782 --> 00:43:34,372
And so it's like, okay, do I need to,
do I need to try and play down my energy

957
00:43:34,372 --> 00:43:35,932
right now and be a little bit more subtle?

958
00:43:36,142 --> 00:43:36,232
Mm-hmm.

959
00:43:36,232 --> 00:43:38,602
Do I need to try and to
stand up and to speak?

960
00:43:38,602 --> 00:43:41,542
Like you, you're constantly kind
of morphing with who you're with.

961
00:43:42,082 --> 00:43:42,442
Um.

962
00:43:42,832 --> 00:43:47,452
But being with these pageant girls, like
they're all such bright lights to me and I

963
00:43:47,452 --> 00:43:52,642
found it very interesting where when I see
these bright lights, my first impression

964
00:43:52,642 --> 00:43:56,992
of myself is, Ooh, I'm nowhere like them.

965
00:43:57,232 --> 00:43:58,492
I don't even compare.

966
00:43:58,492 --> 00:43:59,302
I'm a nobody.

967
00:43:59,302 --> 00:44:02,992
Like it's to put myself even
lower instead of recognizing, wow,

968
00:44:03,202 --> 00:44:04,492
look at all these bright lights.

969
00:44:04,672 --> 00:44:05,812
We're in the same room together.

970
00:44:05,872 --> 00:44:06,892
We're each so different.

971
00:44:06,892 --> 00:44:08,122
We each have our own light.

972
00:44:08,422 --> 00:44:12,112
What a powerhouse of a
Mrs. Utah contestant group.

973
00:44:12,322 --> 00:44:18,022
We have like these are all beautiful
competitors that are not competing

974
00:44:18,022 --> 00:44:20,932
in a caddy way against each other,
but they're competing in a way

975
00:44:20,932 --> 00:44:22,642
that they want to make an impact.

976
00:44:22,672 --> 00:44:25,282
They want to be them, be their
best selves, and they're willing to

977
00:44:25,282 --> 00:44:27,322
put themselves out there to do it.

978
00:44:28,192 --> 00:44:31,342
This is like, what an opportunity.

979
00:44:31,492 --> 00:44:31,972
Yeah.

980
00:44:32,002 --> 00:44:34,672
So I kind of went on a
tangent there, but like

981
00:44:34,672 --> 00:44:39,022
how cool is it that like, and
I think people forget this, we.

982
00:44:40,162 --> 00:44:40,972
After March.

983
00:44:40,972 --> 00:44:44,422
March 29th is when we get our
new people crowned, right?

984
00:44:44,422 --> 00:44:44,512
Mm-hmm.

985
00:44:44,752 --> 00:44:48,742
So we're gonna have two
misses and one miss.

986
00:44:48,742 --> 00:44:49,582
Mm-hmm.

987
00:44:49,588 --> 00:44:51,142
And I wish guys, come on.

988
00:44:51,142 --> 00:44:52,642
We need more Miss Contestants.

989
00:44:52,702 --> 00:44:54,172
I think there's only six this year.

990
00:44:54,412 --> 00:44:55,372
We would love to have.

991
00:44:55,732 --> 00:44:56,062
Oh man.

992
00:44:56,182 --> 00:44:57,082
Come on friends.

993
00:44:57,082 --> 00:44:57,892
It's so cool.

994
00:44:58,072 --> 00:44:59,212
Join the sisterhood.

995
00:44:59,542 --> 00:45:02,542
Um, anyway, see a little tangent.

996
00:45:02,602 --> 00:45:03,802
Little tiny tangent there.

997
00:45:03,862 --> 00:45:04,012
Here.

998
00:45:04,012 --> 00:45:04,642
So though, look it up.

999
00:45:04,762 --> 00:45:05,027
We join us.

1000
00:45:05,027 --> 00:45:08,362
All the growth, all the growth
and development that you have.

1001
00:45:08,692 --> 00:45:12,772
Just being able to watch all of
these people, I think like the why.

1002
00:45:12,772 --> 00:45:13,372
What's your why?

1003
00:45:13,372 --> 00:45:16,312
Workshop with Diane is huge.

1004
00:45:16,312 --> 00:45:19,282
Just because you kind of get grounded.

1005
00:45:19,342 --> 00:45:22,792
You figure out who you are and what
you're standing for and like how

1006
00:45:22,792 --> 00:45:25,132
you want to represent yourself.

1007
00:45:25,552 --> 00:45:25,942
Yes.

1008
00:45:26,212 --> 00:45:28,702
And that carries over
into everything else.

1009
00:45:28,702 --> 00:45:29,332
So then.

1010
00:45:29,887 --> 00:45:34,357
After March, even if you don't
win, you still get to hold onto

1011
00:45:34,357 --> 00:45:35,887
your title and you can show up.

1012
00:45:35,887 --> 00:45:39,097
Like, I still wore my sash and
I went to all kinds of events

1013
00:45:39,097 --> 00:45:42,727
afterwards and I would go and support
the queens I was at Mrs. America.

1014
00:45:43,327 --> 00:45:43,417
Mm-hmm.

1015
00:45:43,657 --> 00:45:47,257
That was fun, I'm sure, right?

1016
00:45:47,257 --> 00:45:50,257
I got to sit next to Charlotte for
a little bit when her friend won.

1017
00:45:50,347 --> 00:45:51,487
That was so cool.

1018
00:45:51,487 --> 00:45:52,747
She was so cute.

1019
00:45:52,747 --> 00:45:54,337
And then I was like catching video.

1020
00:45:54,337 --> 00:45:57,877
They had like light up letters that
were spelling out Utah and stuff.

1021
00:45:58,147 --> 00:46:02,197
It was like they were all just
totally cheering and rooting for

1022
00:46:02,197 --> 00:46:03,937
each other and helping each other.

1023
00:46:04,177 --> 00:46:10,597
Like there wasn't this, um, cattiness
or like underhanded or people going

1024
00:46:10,597 --> 00:46:12,907
like behind each other's backs.

1025
00:46:12,907 --> 00:46:13,957
There wasn't any of that.

1026
00:46:14,017 --> 00:46:18,787
So I'm so glad you joined,
but like, thank you.

1027
00:46:18,787 --> 00:46:19,388
Me too too.

1028
00:46:19,422 --> 00:46:19,762
You too.

1029
00:46:19,807 --> 00:46:23,647
And to, but somebody was somebody
like, you should do a beauty pageant.

1030
00:46:25,887 --> 00:46:29,872
It was, it was, honestly, it was just
a younger friend that was in the MISS

1031
00:46:29,872 --> 00:46:32,812
organization and she was, and she's
like, you should just check it out.

1032
00:46:32,992 --> 00:46:34,852
She's like, yeah, like,
there's a MRS program.

1033
00:46:34,912 --> 00:46:35,782
You should look into it.

1034
00:46:36,292 --> 00:46:39,832
I, I know the, a person that's been
involved with it beforehand, like, it

1035
00:46:39,832 --> 00:46:41,572
was just a, a friendly conversation.

1036
00:46:41,572 --> 00:46:45,232
So again, if people are listening to
this, like look into it because it

1037
00:46:45,232 --> 00:46:47,062
really does, it impacts so many things.

1038
00:46:47,362 --> 00:46:51,052
My, my children, as they've been
introducing themselves to new friends,

1039
00:46:51,322 --> 00:46:55,342
they've been practicing answering
the question, tell me about yourself.

1040
00:46:55,552 --> 00:46:56,542
What are you into?

1041
00:46:56,602 --> 00:47:00,952
Their confidence is growing as they see
me practice and get to know myself more.

1042
00:47:01,012 --> 00:47:03,952
And just this morning I had a
conversation with one of my girls.

1043
00:47:04,312 --> 00:47:07,792
There was an opportunity for her to
come up or there was an opportunity for

1044
00:47:07,792 --> 00:47:11,182
her to be in this talent show Uhhuh,
and she was like, I don't wanna do it.

1045
00:47:11,812 --> 00:47:14,872
She has a beautiful voice,
like a beautiful voice.

1046
00:47:15,352 --> 00:47:17,632
And I'm like, you don't have
to do it, but tell me more.

1047
00:47:18,082 --> 00:47:22,552
And I learned that she feels very
embarrassed if people hear her sing,

1048
00:47:23,002 --> 00:47:27,142
which again, we all feel, we all
have those insecurities with it.

1049
00:47:27,412 --> 00:47:31,612
But this has just been a
great, um, platform, a great

1050
00:47:31,612 --> 00:47:33,142
organization to be a part of.

1051
00:47:33,442 --> 00:47:37,462
'cause I'm getting to know not only
myself more, but also my children

1052
00:47:37,462 --> 00:47:40,912
more, and my children are also
getting to know themselves more.

1053
00:47:41,752 --> 00:47:43,702
It just like, it, it's a ripple effect.

1054
00:47:43,762 --> 00:47:44,152
Yeah.

1055
00:47:44,242 --> 00:47:45,772
It's totally a ripple effect.

1056
00:47:46,192 --> 00:47:47,062
How cool.

1057
00:47:47,212 --> 00:47:47,362
Yeah.

1058
00:47:48,472 --> 00:47:49,222
Um, um,

1059
00:47:51,892 --> 00:47:53,272
what was I just gonna say to you?

1060
00:47:53,272 --> 00:47:54,412
You did an event.

1061
00:47:55,582 --> 00:47:56,542
Yes, it was

1062
00:47:56,542 --> 00:47:58,732
at Bridal Up Hope in Mapleton.

1063
00:47:58,827 --> 00:47:59,182
I miss it.

1064
00:47:59,187 --> 00:48:00,322
So we had this, this.

1065
00:48:00,382 --> 00:48:02,182
Oh, it was, I'm so sad you weren't there.

1066
00:48:02,182 --> 00:48:03,412
Like you would've loved it.

1067
00:48:03,442 --> 00:48:07,942
We had, it was a mother daughter party
just a night to, it's like a gala.

1068
00:48:07,942 --> 00:48:12,262
It was just a night to celebrate
the divinity and the light in them.

1069
00:48:12,352 --> 00:48:14,152
Both the daughters and the moms.

1070
00:48:14,182 --> 00:48:17,242
They both gotta be celebrated
that night or the grandmas or

1071
00:48:17,242 --> 00:48:18,982
the cousins or whoever was there.

1072
00:48:19,432 --> 00:48:24,172
And we had a red carpet where the
ladies got to walk confidently

1073
00:48:24,172 --> 00:48:26,692
down this red carpet, which

1074
00:48:30,747 --> 00:48:33,412
must do this red carpet.

1075
00:48:33,502 --> 00:48:37,132
And we had a service station
where we wrote over a hundred

1076
00:48:37,132 --> 00:48:39,172
letters to women in the community.

1077
00:48:39,172 --> 00:48:40,822
Just expressing gratitude.

1078
00:48:40,852 --> 00:48:44,422
Like again, how long do we wait
till we actually give a compliment?

1079
00:48:44,452 --> 00:48:45,952
Just, yeah, just give it a compliment.

1080
00:48:46,492 --> 00:48:49,852
And then we just had a, the final
station was kind of like our

1081
00:48:49,852 --> 00:48:51,562
interview station, if you can kind of.

1082
00:48:51,847 --> 00:48:54,877
Get like the pageant undertones with it.

1083
00:48:54,877 --> 00:48:57,697
So we had the, the stage,
which was the red carpet.

1084
00:48:57,997 --> 00:49:01,207
We had the service, which
was the writing letters.

1085
00:49:01,237 --> 00:49:04,117
And then we had kinda like the
interview portion where it was

1086
00:49:04,117 --> 00:49:06,217
just a place for moms and daughters
to get to know each other more.

1087
00:49:06,217 --> 00:49:06,277
Yeah.

1088
00:49:06,547 --> 00:49:13,567
So we had games and questionnaires
and it was a beautiful night.

1089
00:49:13,597 --> 00:49:17,707
And one thing that really hit
me at the end of it, there was

1090
00:49:17,707 --> 00:49:22,267
a, a lady, a, a teenager that
was helping to serve food there.

1091
00:49:22,747 --> 00:49:29,647
And afterwards she just expressed
gratitude for being able to be there.

1092
00:49:29,857 --> 00:49:31,717
And I'm like, you're the one helping us.

1093
00:49:31,747 --> 00:49:34,567
Like, like, like, thank
you for being here.

1094
00:49:34,897 --> 00:49:37,657
And she's like, no, she's like this.

1095
00:49:38,527 --> 00:49:43,987
Being able to just be in this type of
an atmosphere where moms and daughters

1096
00:49:43,987 --> 00:49:47,557
could just put everything else to the
side and just celebrate each other.

1097
00:49:48,217 --> 00:49:50,437
She's like, this was a very
special place to be tonight.

1098
00:49:51,712 --> 00:49:52,702
That's so sweet.

1099
00:49:54,022 --> 00:49:58,672
Oh, see, I would've left
to my, uh, with my jaw.

1100
00:49:59,062 --> 00:50:00,292
It was awful.

1101
00:50:00,892 --> 00:50:06,262
Anyway, that's so well, and people forget,
so think people think that it's just like

1102
00:50:06,262 --> 00:50:12,142
showing up and wearing a pretty dress and
you don't necessarily have to do an event.

1103
00:50:12,142 --> 00:50:15,592
You don't really have, you don't have to
go and do a lot of community whatever.

1104
00:50:15,952 --> 00:50:16,042
Mm-hmm.

1105
00:50:16,282 --> 00:50:18,172
Um, none of that stuff is required.

1106
00:50:18,172 --> 00:50:21,532
Like you don't, there's workshops
that we do and some of them are

1107
00:50:21,532 --> 00:50:23,062
required and some of them are not.

1108
00:50:23,062 --> 00:50:25,882
And then all the different
contestants, whenever they have stuff

1109
00:50:25,882 --> 00:50:27,472
going on, they'll post about it.

1110
00:50:27,922 --> 00:50:33,412
Um, but no, no, not one bit of that
is required, but there is a really

1111
00:50:33,412 --> 00:50:41,422
big focus in like looking to your
community and like, I. Empowering

1112
00:50:41,422 --> 00:50:46,822
yourself to do what you can do to
use whatever talent you have, quote.

1113
00:50:47,332 --> 00:50:47,572
Yes.

1114
00:50:48,022 --> 00:50:51,172
And for each person, that
can look totally different.

1115
00:50:51,172 --> 00:50:53,632
It can be volunteering
in a child's classroom.

1116
00:50:53,842 --> 00:50:56,212
It can be posting
uplifting messages online.

1117
00:50:56,242 --> 00:50:58,732
It can be working with
the state legislature.

1118
00:50:58,792 --> 00:51:01,642
Like it, there's no,
there's no rules with it.

1119
00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:03,952
It's just a, Hey, what matters to you?

1120
00:51:04,102 --> 00:51:07,822
If, what matters to you is being a
living, breathing example of slowing

1121
00:51:07,822 --> 00:51:10,372
down and teaching women how to slow down.

1122
00:51:10,702 --> 00:51:15,952
We need you like, like every
person's gift and skillset is

1123
00:51:16,012 --> 00:51:18,292
worth, again, is worth celebrating.

1124
00:51:18,412 --> 00:51:20,392
You have a light, so don't
be afraid to share it.

1125
00:51:20,812 --> 00:51:22,642
You don't have to do
like an actual talent.

1126
00:51:22,642 --> 00:51:24,232
Talent for the record.

1127
00:51:24,622 --> 00:51:27,952
So like that part, we
don't need to be scared of.

1128
00:51:28,432 --> 00:51:31,342
I think just showing up is enough.

1129
00:51:31,552 --> 00:51:31,882
Yep.

1130
00:51:31,882 --> 00:51:33,562
It's just showing up and celebrating you.

1131
00:51:33,622 --> 00:51:36,772
You don't have to, you're
walking across the stage.

1132
00:51:37,162 --> 00:51:39,802
It's, you don't have to
dance, you don't have to sing.

1133
00:51:40,252 --> 00:51:44,092
It'd be fun if, if we got to, but
it's just, it's just celebrating.

1134
00:51:44,182 --> 00:51:45,022
We do dance.

1135
00:51:45,922 --> 00:51:46,792
The opening number.

1136
00:51:46,792 --> 00:51:47,542
We definitely dance.

1137
00:51:47,542 --> 00:51:47,722
We dance.

1138
00:51:49,557 --> 00:51:50,137
That's true.

1139
00:51:50,687 --> 00:51:52,012
That is ballroom dance right there.

1140
00:51:52,057 --> 00:51:52,457
Don't break that.

1141
00:51:52,457 --> 00:51:52,937
Don't break.

1142
00:51:54,112 --> 00:51:59,452
Um, it's so fun though, like,
and so I didn't, I didn't even

1143
00:51:59,452 --> 00:52:02,782
watch, like, I had no idea what I
was really getting, getting into.

1144
00:52:02,812 --> 00:52:07,162
I was just kind of showing up and I was
just like, we're gonna see how this goes.

1145
00:52:07,192 --> 00:52:11,002
And I'm a deer in headlights and
here's my Stanley garbage can that I

1146
00:52:11,002 --> 00:52:13,102
bedazzled in the hotel room last night.

1147
00:52:13,102 --> 00:52:13,672
I love,

1148
00:52:14,812 --> 00:52:15,562
I love it.

1149
00:52:16,347 --> 00:52:22,102
It, um, after going through it all,
like I, it definitely shifted my

1150
00:52:22,732 --> 00:52:24,652
perspective on what all of it is.

1151
00:52:24,867 --> 00:52:25,287
Mm-hmm.

1152
00:52:25,612 --> 00:52:26,392
Um,

1153
00:52:28,402 --> 00:52:30,172
and I'm living out loud a little bit more.

1154
00:52:30,172 --> 00:52:32,842
Like last year I still was
like, Ooh, I, Mrs. Daybreak.

1155
00:52:33,952 --> 00:52:34,012
Hi.

1156
00:52:34,252 --> 00:52:36,262
But this year, like I did.

1157
00:52:36,742 --> 00:52:40,972
A charity thing too, and I
was still kind of scared.

1158
00:52:40,972 --> 00:52:44,602
I was still nervous to be like,
Hey, I'm in a beauty pageant and

1159
00:52:44,602 --> 00:52:49,522
I'm doing a thing because I don't
want people to think that I'm like,

1160
00:52:51,532 --> 00:52:54,382
like there's the wrong
idea that people can get.

1161
00:52:54,442 --> 00:52:57,742
Like, I'm trying to do service
because of the beauty pageant.

1162
00:52:58,237 --> 00:52:58,732
Yes, yes.

1163
00:52:58,792 --> 00:53:01,132
And that's not what it is really.

1164
00:53:01,132 --> 00:53:05,302
It's the pageant is a gateway.

1165
00:53:05,842 --> 00:53:06,322
Yes.

1166
00:53:06,772 --> 00:53:13,432
For me to be able to represent my
community and do more within my community.

1167
00:53:13,732 --> 00:53:14,122
Yes.

1168
00:53:14,182 --> 00:53:17,422
And if there's a cause you're passionate
about this pa, this passion is a great

1169
00:53:17,422 --> 00:53:19,222
way to spread awareness for that.

1170
00:53:19,582 --> 00:53:20,842
Because we have all
these ladies, that's your

1171
00:53:21,117 --> 00:53:21,477
platform, right?

1172
00:53:21,617 --> 00:53:21,837
Yes.

1173
00:53:21,927 --> 00:53:22,917
We're supporting each other.

1174
00:53:22,917 --> 00:53:24,562
We're helping to share
each other's messages.

1175
00:53:24,562 --> 00:53:30,787
So yeah, it's, it's definitely a. A, a
cause for good in the community, but I

1176
00:53:30,787 --> 00:53:32,797
understand your feelings of like, oh yeah.

1177
00:53:32,797 --> 00:53:34,747
Am I doing this just
because of the pageant?

1178
00:53:34,777 --> 00:53:39,637
You're like, this is propelling me to
actually take action on something, but

1179
00:53:40,477 --> 00:53:42,397
it's not the reason why I'm doing it.

1180
00:53:42,607 --> 00:53:42,937
Yeah.

1181
00:53:43,057 --> 00:53:48,337
Well, and like now, like if
I don't do it again mm-hmm.

1182
00:53:48,367 --> 00:53:52,927
Um, I kind of have figured out
what I wanted, what direction

1183
00:53:52,927 --> 00:53:54,187
I wanna go with things now.

1184
00:53:54,192 --> 00:53:54,242
Yes.

1185
00:53:54,242 --> 00:53:54,482
Mm-hmm.

1186
00:53:54,482 --> 00:53:57,217
So like I've figured out my alignment.

1187
00:53:57,217 --> 00:54:00,397
Maybe it isn't really with
teaching tiny humans anymore,

1188
00:54:00,397 --> 00:54:01,777
maybe I'm doing other stuff.

1189
00:54:01,777 --> 00:54:02,077
Mm-hmm.

1190
00:54:02,077 --> 00:54:07,717
But like, um, it's grounded
me and helped me figure out

1191
00:54:07,717 --> 00:54:12,517
what I really want to do Yes.

1192
00:54:12,517 --> 00:54:13,567
And who I really am.

1193
00:54:13,567 --> 00:54:14,797
And I couldn't figure that out.

1194
00:54:14,797 --> 00:54:20,677
Like, I was teaching first grade last
year and we were using this app and there

1195
00:54:20,677 --> 00:54:22,267
were so many things where I was like.

1196
00:54:22,972 --> 00:54:26,932
Oh, these are all skills that
I need to have for the pageant.

1197
00:54:27,742 --> 00:54:32,272
Like how you talk to somebody and
maintaining eye contact, keeping

1198
00:54:32,272 --> 00:54:36,382
proper distance and like Yeah.

1199
00:54:36,682 --> 00:54:40,312
Being able to answer questions
that people ask you quickly.

1200
00:54:40,342 --> 00:54:42,922
Like even in those, they're
like, what's your favorite food?

1201
00:54:42,922 --> 00:54:47,032
And then I like, 'cause you
have to record yourself.

1202
00:54:47,032 --> 00:54:51,922
I'm sitting there like, I don't know
what my favorite food, hamburgers.

1203
00:54:51,922 --> 00:54:53,617
Sure, sure.

1204
00:54:56,002 --> 00:54:56,722
All American.

1205
00:54:56,722 --> 00:54:57,052
Right?

1206
00:54:58,522 --> 00:55:02,902
It just, it's funny that we
don't realize these things

1207
00:55:02,902 --> 00:55:04,762
until we're trying to teach it.

1208
00:55:05,542 --> 00:55:06,052
Yes.

1209
00:55:06,142 --> 00:55:08,902
And then I'm not, I'm
not doing that myself.

1210
00:55:09,232 --> 00:55:09,682
Mm-hmm.

1211
00:55:10,822 --> 00:55:14,062
That's when we learn and we grow the
most, when we actually put things into

1212
00:55:14,062 --> 00:55:17,302
action, we realize, oh, you wanna what?

1213
00:55:17,812 --> 00:55:18,922
I do wanna improve in this area.

1214
00:55:19,252 --> 00:55:20,062
So here we go.

1215
00:55:20,242 --> 00:55:20,332
Man,

1216
00:55:21,382 --> 00:55:22,522
I'm so excited.

1217
00:55:22,612 --> 00:55:24,232
I'm so excited to be out this page.

1218
00:55:25,007 --> 00:55:26,057
It's coming up fast.

1219
00:55:26,482 --> 00:55:27,262
I'm so excited.

1220
00:55:27,262 --> 00:55:31,102
Also, it's been incredible these
past few months doing things together

1221
00:55:31,972 --> 00:55:33,337
and we get it sober.

1222
00:55:33,477 --> 00:55:36,592
It doesn't, it doesn't end
is the thing like, yes.

1223
00:55:36,802 --> 00:55:39,922
Some people are like, okay,
after March, then what?

1224
00:55:40,627 --> 00:55:41,047
Mm-hmm.

1225
00:55:41,512 --> 00:55:42,532
You can keep doing it.

1226
00:55:42,532 --> 00:55:48,412
And then we get first pick on if we wanna
do our title again, we get first pick.

1227
00:55:48,652 --> 00:55:48,922
Yeah.

1228
00:55:48,922 --> 00:55:50,392
And we don't wanna do it anymore.

1229
00:55:50,392 --> 00:55:53,602
Then we can pass and then they'll
offer it up to somebody else.

1230
00:55:53,812 --> 00:55:53,992
Yeah.

1231
00:55:54,142 --> 00:55:55,312
Like you can keep doing it.

1232
00:55:55,342 --> 00:55:55,702
Oops.

1233
00:55:55,702 --> 00:55:56,032
Sorry.

1234
00:55:56,032 --> 00:55:56,632
Microphone.

1235
00:55:56,902 --> 00:56:00,832
You can keep doing it over and
over and over again until you win.

1236
00:56:00,832 --> 00:56:02,812
But like once you hit the state title,

1237
00:56:05,632 --> 00:56:09,892
if you go on to the nationals,
then you don't really get a

1238
00:56:09,892 --> 00:56:11,212
shot unless you move states.

1239
00:56:11,662 --> 00:56:11,992
Yep.

1240
00:56:12,202 --> 00:56:12,442
Mm-hmm.

1241
00:56:13,612 --> 00:56:17,212
But like the formers all show up.

1242
00:56:17,947 --> 00:56:21,007
Still they do every, at every event.

1243
00:56:21,127 --> 00:56:22,687
And like they help us get ready.

1244
00:56:22,687 --> 00:56:26,287
There are liaisons they like,
they know the ins and the outs and

1245
00:56:26,287 --> 00:56:28,717
they can help us navigate things.

1246
00:56:28,717 --> 00:56:32,407
And it's not, it's so supportive.

1247
00:56:32,407 --> 00:56:36,997
We have a, and I hear from what I hear
'cause I haven't done it anywhere else,

1248
00:56:36,997 --> 00:56:42,607
but from what I hear, this is like,
ours has the most support in terms,

1249
00:56:42,607 --> 00:56:44,437
oh, I would not be surprised.

1250
00:56:44,437 --> 00:56:48,457
Like it's, it's amazing just how
much we're chatting both as like

1251
00:56:48,457 --> 00:56:49,957
as competitors in this group.

1252
00:56:49,987 --> 00:56:52,567
Like we are Stash sisters.

1253
00:56:52,567 --> 00:56:52,897
I love that.

1254
00:56:52,897 --> 00:56:55,807
That's the terms like yes, we're
competitors, but we are sash sisters.

1255
00:56:56,077 --> 00:56:57,097
We are supporting each other.

1256
00:56:57,307 --> 00:57:03,937
And then the directors and the previous
queens, like, they just want to just

1257
00:57:04,327 --> 00:57:11,317
let you have this incredible experience
that can impact so much I've loved,

1258
00:57:11,407 --> 00:57:12,097
um.

1259
00:57:14,257 --> 00:57:14,767
Have you met?

1260
00:57:14,767 --> 00:57:16,657
You've kind of hung out with Jess.

1261
00:57:16,777 --> 00:57:18,457
I talk about her every once in a while.

1262
00:57:18,457 --> 00:57:21,367
I'm gonna have to get her on
the podcast after the pageant is

1263
00:57:21,367 --> 00:57:23,017
done and she has time to breathe.

1264
00:57:23,497 --> 00:57:27,307
Um, but she's the one that got
me involved in the pageant.

1265
00:57:28,177 --> 00:57:32,767
Um, and it was at like right after
my mom had passed away and it was

1266
00:57:32,767 --> 00:57:37,207
after her funeral and she had like,
no idea, but I was just going through

1267
00:57:37,207 --> 00:57:41,617
the motions, um, and signed up.

1268
00:57:41,677 --> 00:57:43,717
She was like, you should
sign up for the pageant.

1269
00:57:43,717 --> 00:57:46,207
And I was like, oh, I would need a
lot of work to do with Beauty Pageant.

1270
00:57:46,207 --> 00:57:47,257
She was like, no, you wouldn't.

1271
00:57:47,257 --> 00:57:49,597
And then she sent me the
message on Instagram later.

1272
00:57:50,317 --> 00:57:52,237
Um, Facebook.

1273
00:57:52,267 --> 00:57:53,197
It was on Facebook.

1274
00:57:53,227 --> 00:57:54,667
She sent me the application.

1275
00:57:55,057 --> 00:57:58,957
Um, and I filled it out and I was
like reading through some of it and

1276
00:57:58,957 --> 00:58:01,087
I was like, Hmm, okay, I can do this.

1277
00:58:01,807 --> 00:58:05,227
But then she was one of the people
that I sat down with at the mock

1278
00:58:05,227 --> 00:58:07,777
interviews and I was terrified.

1279
00:58:09,127 --> 00:58:11,017
Yeah, because she's, she's intimidate.

1280
00:58:11,017 --> 00:58:12,787
She has a very intimidating presence.

1281
00:58:12,787 --> 00:58:16,657
But then like, our time was done and she
went to give me, give me my feedback,

1282
00:58:16,657 --> 00:58:19,777
and she was like, you are incredible.

1283
00:58:19,867 --> 00:58:24,337
Like, you need to let other people
see these different things about you.

1284
00:58:24,907 --> 00:58:25,537
Yes.

1285
00:58:25,807 --> 00:58:26,197
Like,

1286
00:58:27,217 --> 00:58:30,457
and there's that theme again, it's like
learning how to get out of our own shell.

1287
00:58:30,457 --> 00:58:33,517
Learning how to get out of our own
way and be able to succinctly and

1288
00:58:33,517 --> 00:58:35,527
confidently say, Hey, this is me.

1289
00:58:35,587 --> 00:58:39,187
This is my background, this is
my history, this is my message.

1290
00:58:39,187 --> 00:58:39,997
And this is why.

1291
00:58:40,207 --> 00:58:42,697
Like, just be able to, it's, it's an art.

1292
00:58:42,787 --> 00:58:46,837
It's an art that we as
adults really get to learn.

1293
00:58:46,837 --> 00:58:50,437
So we can just stop being in our own way.

1294
00:58:51,187 --> 00:58:53,407
Hey, this is my last
thing I'm gonna ask you.

1295
00:58:53,407 --> 00:58:54,037
Mm-hmm.

1296
00:58:54,043 --> 00:58:54,577
And like,

1297
00:58:56,107 --> 00:58:58,147
we're go, we may be going, oh, okay.

1298
00:58:58,147 --> 00:58:59,677
I, apparently I cut thumbs up.

1299
00:59:00,187 --> 00:59:00,667
Good job.

1300
00:59:00,697 --> 00:59:01,177
Okay.

1301
00:59:01,177 --> 00:59:03,097
Here we could do other ones too.

1302
00:59:03,727 --> 00:59:03,937
Hey.

1303
00:59:06,277 --> 00:59:06,607
Oh wait.

1304
00:59:06,607 --> 00:59:06,937
Hold on.

1305
00:59:06,997 --> 00:59:07,357
One more.

1306
00:59:09,437 --> 00:59:09,862
The do it.

1307
00:59:09,922 --> 00:59:10,882
Yeah.

1308
00:59:10,882 --> 00:59:11,932
Oh my goodness.

1309
00:59:11,992 --> 00:59:12,292
That is Okay.

1310
00:59:12,292 --> 00:59:13,762
We're done with, we're done with Zoom.

1311
00:59:13,882 --> 00:59:14,512
You learn.

1312
00:59:16,072 --> 00:59:16,732
I have too much.

1313
00:59:16,732 --> 00:59:18,322
I'm on here way too much apparently.

1314
00:59:19,162 --> 00:59:24,502
Um, I was gonna ask you how
you went from letters to book.

1315
00:59:25,192 --> 00:59:26,122
Oh, okay.

1316
00:59:26,542 --> 00:59:26,962
Yes.

1317
00:59:26,962 --> 00:59:31,132
So from letters to book, it just, when
you have something in your heart, you

1318
00:59:31,132 --> 00:59:32,902
just, you just can't overthink it.

1319
00:59:32,932 --> 00:59:34,762
I'm like, I have never
written a book before.

1320
00:59:34,792 --> 00:59:36,322
All I do are social media posts.

1321
00:59:36,622 --> 00:59:37,732
There's no way I can write a book.

1322
00:59:38,092 --> 00:59:39,772
That was everything going through my head.

1323
00:59:40,462 --> 00:59:42,502
But how did I actually go
from letters to a book?

1324
00:59:42,712 --> 00:59:48,622
By just by not listening to that
voice and recognizing that the, the

1325
00:59:48,622 --> 00:59:51,982
experiences I had gone through and
the letters I had written, I knew they

1326
00:59:51,982 --> 00:59:54,172
were met for more people than just I.

1327
00:59:54,382 --> 00:59:55,552
Than just for me.

1328
00:59:55,552 --> 00:59:58,672
I, they're meant for people that didn't
recognize who they saw in the mirror.

1329
00:59:58,912 --> 01:00:02,092
They're meant for people that thought
they had life figured out and then

1330
01:00:02,092 --> 01:00:03,622
everything comes crashing down.

1331
01:00:03,952 --> 01:00:07,282
They're meant for people that want to
dream and want to take their life to the

1332
01:00:07,282 --> 01:00:12,412
next level, but it's a lot easier just
to think about it than to actually do it.

1333
01:00:12,592 --> 01:00:13,582
That's everyone.

1334
01:00:13,732 --> 01:00:15,112
That's everyone.

1335
01:00:15,292 --> 01:00:19,642
So I had to, had to get out on my own way.

1336
01:00:20,062 --> 01:00:23,842
Had to be willing to be open and
vulnerable to shine that light.

1337
01:00:23,872 --> 01:00:29,692
And you published a book and
now it's an international book.

1338
01:00:29,897 --> 01:00:31,132
That is so cool.

1339
01:00:31,402 --> 01:00:34,192
Okay, we're gonna get ready to wrap up.

1340
01:00:34,672 --> 01:00:39,922
So before we go, I want you to tell
everybody how we can find you and where

1341
01:00:39,922 --> 01:00:41,632
we can get your book and what it's called.

1342
01:00:42,082 --> 01:00:42,532
Yes.

1343
01:00:42,532 --> 01:00:46,342
So the simplest way to get my
book is just on Amazon and it's

1344
01:00:46,342 --> 01:00:48,712
called You Are Worth Living for.

1345
01:00:49,357 --> 01:00:53,107
There's the ebook, or you can have
paper or hardcover, whatever you like.

1346
01:00:53,857 --> 01:00:58,687
Also, my website, if you're like, I
totally resonate with your message

1347
01:00:58,687 --> 01:01:01,927
and I'm ready to start feeling
more confident in who I am or

1348
01:01:01,927 --> 01:01:05,047
start being more proud of my light.

1349
01:01:05,437 --> 01:01:10,297
Um, whether you wanna have fun doing
makeup artistry together or you're wanting

1350
01:01:10,297 --> 01:01:14,257
to have me come and be a speaker at your
event, um, or you're wanting just like

1351
01:01:14,257 --> 01:01:18,577
basic health routines, that's what you
can find on my website or on social media.

1352
01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:25,447
And it's www.mrsporscheblanchard.com.

1353
01:01:26,137 --> 01:01:29,382
And as you said, the beginning
Porsche is like fortilla com.

1354
01:01:29,922 --> 01:01:30,142
Yes.

1355
01:01:30,302 --> 01:01:30,862
Fortilla

1356
01:01:31,747 --> 01:01:33,247
fortilla blanchard.com.

1357
01:01:33,667 --> 01:01:38,977
I'm gonna have to see if I can find we
have it somewhere and like it was years

1358
01:01:38,977 --> 01:01:41,167
and years and years ago before we had.

1359
01:01:41,812 --> 01:01:44,032
Before we had our younger two.

1360
01:01:44,092 --> 01:01:46,882
And it's so I was laughing so hard.

1361
01:01:46,942 --> 01:01:47,272
Look at you.

1362
01:01:48,742 --> 01:01:49,012
Okay.

1363
01:01:49,012 --> 01:01:50,632
I'm gonna link this in our bio.

1364
01:01:50,632 --> 01:01:51,322
These are gorgeous.

1365
01:01:52,582 --> 01:01:53,632
You Thank you.

1366
01:01:53,632 --> 01:01:53,634
Thank you.

1367
01:01:53,812 --> 01:01:54,652
Not our bio.

1368
01:01:54,652 --> 01:01:55,852
In the show notes.

1369
01:01:55,882 --> 01:01:57,202
Yes, in the show notes.

1370
01:01:58,312 --> 01:02:00,802
I got distracted by
your pretty blue dress.

1371
01:02:01,852 --> 01:02:02,632
Thank you.

1372
01:02:02,692 --> 01:02:04,012
It's my Cinderella dress

1373
01:02:04,072 --> 01:02:08,092
and the next time we get together
is actually gonna be the pageant.

1374
01:02:09,292 --> 01:02:09,982
You're so ready.

1375
01:02:09,982 --> 01:02:10,612
I'm so ready.

1376
01:02:10,612 --> 01:02:11,572
I'm so excited.

1377
01:02:11,572 --> 01:02:13,342
Like it's, it's gonna be so good.

1378
01:02:13,342 --> 01:02:13,762
That dance

1379
01:02:13,762 --> 01:02:14,722
is gonna be a mess.

1380
01:02:16,372 --> 01:02:17,452
Hey, hey.

1381
01:02:18,142 --> 01:02:19,522
You're just gonna get up there.

1382
01:02:19,522 --> 01:02:23,152
That's, you're gonna represent someone
that's trying to dance on the stage.

1383
01:02:23,152 --> 01:02:24,562
Whatever that looks like for you.

1384
01:02:24,562 --> 01:02:25,402
It's gonna be amazing.

1385
01:02:25,402 --> 01:02:25,432
Oh

1386
01:02:25,432 --> 01:02:25,612
my gosh.

1387
01:02:25,792 --> 01:02:27,472
Did you see my, uh.

1388
01:02:27,982 --> 01:02:28,342
Back.

1389
01:02:29,242 --> 01:02:29,782
Yes.

1390
01:02:29,842 --> 01:02:33,682
So there's a dance move that's like a ch
looks like, like chicken wings, but it's

1391
01:02:33,682 --> 01:02:34,942
supposed to look a lot cooler than that.

1392
01:02:37,042 --> 01:02:37,942
Hey, it's fun.

1393
01:02:38,002 --> 01:02:38,572
It's a party.

1394
01:02:38,572 --> 01:02:39,802
We're getting the energy up.

1395
01:02:40,462 --> 01:02:42,382
It'll be, it'll be so good you guys.

1396
01:02:42,442 --> 01:02:42,772
Yes.

1397
01:02:43,102 --> 01:02:46,882
Okay, well if you've listened
this far, thank you so much.

1398
01:02:47,122 --> 01:02:47,632
Yes,

1399
01:02:47,632 --> 01:02:47,872
thank you.

1400
01:02:47,872 --> 01:02:47,962
And

1401
01:02:49,792 --> 01:02:50,842
I will see you the pageant.

1402
01:02:50,842 --> 01:02:52,132
Come get tickets to the pageant.

1403
01:02:52,312 --> 01:02:52,612
Oh my

1404
01:02:52,612 --> 01:02:53,002
gosh.

1405
01:02:53,002 --> 01:02:53,482
For real.

1406
01:02:53,482 --> 01:02:54,952
And oh, wait, wait, wait.

1407
01:02:55,042 --> 01:02:56,452
And uh, Nope.

1408
01:02:56,452 --> 01:02:57,622
I forgot what I was gonna say.

1409
01:02:58,397 --> 01:03:00,047
I get to the pageant, we'll link.

1410
01:03:00,137 --> 01:03:03,557
Oh, and we can have different dis
I'll see if I can link the discount

1411
01:03:03,557 --> 01:03:09,107
codes too, because there will be
a cutoff for the discount codes.

1412
01:03:09,647 --> 01:03:09,977
Ooh, I did not

1413
01:03:09,977 --> 01:03:10,577
know that.

1414
01:03:10,697 --> 01:03:15,407
And I don't remember what it is, but
like, 'cause they can, I don't remember.

1415
01:03:15,557 --> 01:03:15,977
I don't remember.

1416
01:03:16,247 --> 01:03:17,897
Reach out to us on social media.

1417
01:03:18,167 --> 01:03:19,307
You want the discount code.

1418
01:03:19,337 --> 01:03:19,397
Yeah.

1419
01:03:19,397 --> 01:03:20,927
And we can let you know
if it's still active

1420
01:03:21,107 --> 01:03:25,337
and we wanna make sure as there's
virtual tickets and there's in-person

1421
01:03:25,337 --> 01:03:27,617
tickets happening at Murray High School.

1422
01:03:28,037 --> 01:03:28,157
Yes.

1423
01:03:28,187 --> 01:03:32,687
And I just, in many ways I'm ready
and in so many ways and totally not.

1424
01:03:32,687 --> 01:03:36,977
But that's why I just love the
community that we've created.

1425
01:03:37,132 --> 01:03:39,317
So thank you so much for
being a part of that.

1426
01:03:39,317 --> 01:03:39,319
Of course.

1427
01:03:39,324 --> 01:03:41,717
And I really appreciate
you and love you so much.

1428
01:03:42,107 --> 01:03:43,787
Thank you for hosting this podcast.

1429
01:03:43,967 --> 01:03:44,387
Yeah.

1430
01:03:44,477 --> 01:03:47,057
If anything I'm thank thankful that, um.

1431
01:03:48,247 --> 01:03:51,667
The pageant has given me the relationships
that I've had because I didn't

1432
01:03:51,697 --> 01:03:55,057
have those really for a long time.

1433
01:03:55,147 --> 01:03:55,567
So it's, the

1434
01:03:55,567 --> 01:03:56,617
friendships is amazing.

1435
01:03:56,797 --> 01:04:01,507
It's been very healing how
authentic and genuine everyone is.

1436
01:04:01,657 --> 01:04:02,407
So if you're

1437
01:04:02,407 --> 01:04:03,307
part of this

1438
01:04:03,517 --> 01:04:05,227
sisterhood, thank you so much.

1439
01:04:05,287 --> 01:04:08,047
We love you being who you are.

1440
01:04:08,077 --> 01:04:08,167
Mm-hmm.

1441
01:04:08,947 --> 01:04:11,857
And, uh, yeah, take care of yourselves.

1442
01:04:12,097 --> 01:04:14,017
So crazy world out there.

1443
01:04:14,887 --> 01:04:14,992
Thank.