Purposeful Pageantry: More Than Meets the Sash w/ Mrs. Utah America

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Yay.

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Hello everyone and welcome to the inner
workings of the Not So Genius Mind.

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I'm your host, Amanda McCombs, the Not So
Genius, and I'm your Mrs. Daybreak this

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year, and I'm here with Chelsi Rasmussen.

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She is Such a dear friend.

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We've only known each other maybe like
a year and a half now that I think

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about it, but it's been life changing.

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Um, she's a fellow sass, sash, sister,
life coach, and mom of, was it four?

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No way.

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Four.

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Oh my goodness.

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Chelsi Rasmussen, our Mrs. Utah America.

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How are you?

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Oh, Amanda, thank you
so much for having me.

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I'm, I'm so excited to get
to chat with you today.

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Yay, I'm excited to have you.

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Ah, um, oh, maybe I should've, I'm
gonna spring this on you a little bit.

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So, I think the first time we met was
at the Queen's party at Bailey's house.

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Mm, mm hmm.

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Yes.

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Yes.

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It was that Christmas favorite
things party that that was the, I,

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I remember going, I remember being
so nervous going to that event.

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And I remember saying a prayer to myself
in the car and be like, okay, heavenly

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team, this is, this is all so new to me.

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And You know, like, I need to
know for sure, like, if this is,

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like, I need another verification
that I am on the right path.

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And I remember arriving and being
so nervous and, you know, starting

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to get to know all the Sash sisters.

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And I remember leaving there just, like,
with this overwhelming feeling of, yes.

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Yes, this is exactly where I need to be.

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And, um, meeting you was such a
beautiful part of that and getting

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to know more of your story.

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It was, yeah, so powerful.

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Oh my goodness.

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Well, you and I both hadn't
done a pageant before.

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Right, right.

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So we were both wide
eyed and like soaking up

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all the

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information.

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Yes.

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Like everyone is so pretty and
nice and they want to be my friend.

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This is weird.

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It's mind blowing.

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Um, I just remember sitting down next
to you and I was chatting with Clarissa.

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Um, and I remember sitting next to you and
we were, chit chatting forever and ever

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and ever and we were just like pouring
our hearts out to each other and everybody

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was like getting up and leaving and you
and I are still like psh psh psh psh.

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I knew you were gonna win.

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From that moment I was like That
crown is going to be way too heavy

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on my head, but this girl's got it.

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Oh, that's really kind of you to say.

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Oh, thank you.

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You know, I think we, it's
hard to see that in ourselves.

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Yeah.

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Well, and there was no way because
my mom had just passed that August.

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Right.

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I had so much that I
was still going through.

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Oh my

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goodness, right?

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I mean, all of us do.

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Yes.

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All of us do.

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Like, you have had your own things going
on, even when you went on to nationals.

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Which, it was so fun to
see you up on that stage.

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But like, everyone has stuff going on.

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It was wonderful that you came and
support, supported us like the, the

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Sash sisterhood in the, of the Utah,
you know, the Utah program is so real.

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And there were so many people at
Nationals who were so jealous of not

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only our relationship with our directors,
but the amount of support that we

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had show up for Utah was amazing.

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And so it was beautiful that
you were a part of that.

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Oh, thank you.

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We just, I think we all just
wanted to be there, and like, we

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trauma bonded, kind of, right?

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We totally did!

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We're all winners, and we're
like, all there supporting

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each other, and I lost so hard.

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I was like, I know, I know I don't got it.

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I'm just going to show up and I'm going
to do it and I'll do better next year.

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And it'll be less scary.

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Okay.

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But you nailed that on you.

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What you said, just nailed it on the head.

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You showed up anyways.

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Yeah.

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Right.

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And, and choosing, even though it was
so hard and it was so scary, you're

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choosing to do it again, which means
like, You know, like that means so much

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about you, Amanda, of just, you're like,
yes, of course, I'm doing it again.

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And it's like, I made up.

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You're, you're just in, you're
an inspiration to so many.

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Oh, well, We can say the same about you.

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Everyone listening is probably
like, Ew, these girls are gross.

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Really, this is like, I think the
whole time we're getting ready, we're

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sharing, um, sharing ideas, like
nothing's really kept hidden a secret.

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We're not trying to undercut each other.

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Everyone's trying to support each other.

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Um, and that's a community that I think
a lot of us that are in it have always.

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Yes.

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Um, I, that has been part of my
healing journey of, um, you know, I

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kind of left a big community that I
had growing up and that was a big part

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of a part of my world in every facet.

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And as I left that community,
it was really lonely.

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And, you know, as I was trying to
figure out what's next and, you know,

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to have this pageant fall into my lap,
how beautiful, like, and I wasn't even

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realizing that it would heal that part of
feeling like a lack of community and how.

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Amazing it has been to have this
sisterhood, like what, like you said,

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that is not only so supportive, but
inclusive of, you know, like the

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energy is all about what do you need?

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How can we support you?

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Rather than, you know, Well, I
had all the preconceived notions

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going into the pageant world.

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It just was a completely
different experience.

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And so it's just been so
beautiful and healing.

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That

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is kind

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of exactly

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what I was going to say.

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This whole world that you don't,
when you grow up, not really having

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other women that have your back,
and then you find that community

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later in life, like whatever point.

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of your life you're in.

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There's ladies of all
ages in this pageant.

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And we're all able to still
show up for each other.

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And I think that's so cool.

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There's this, like, we needed, we
all clearly needed that community.

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Oh, we, everybody, right, needs to find
their community where they feel that they

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belong and that they are seen and heard.

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And, I know our society really
needs to be better about that.

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Um, I think especially after
COVID, we had this huge awakening

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of how much we need each other.

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And

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yeah, just, it's crazy that finding
community through pageantry.

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I never, never knew that was, that
was something that I was going to come

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from this, which was so beautiful.

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We lost our villages.

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And we had to figure out
how to get them again.

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Right, right.

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Or like, and they needed to change.

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And I think a lot of us Think about all
the picture perfect things that we see

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on social media and what life should
be like and you don't realize how hard

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and how difficult all this crap is that
we have to go through to get up there.

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Did you think, so your original title
was you were Eagle Mountain, right?

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Correct.

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Yes.

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Um, did you think claiming that
title helped you kind of solidify

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who you were more as a person?

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I know that, and it wasn't just taking
on the title of Mrs. Eagle Mountain.

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It was getting my brain on board.

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With shifting to like getting in
a place where I'd be comfortable

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receiving the title as Mrs. Utah.

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And you know, what I teach my coaching
clients is, you know, okay, you have

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this goal, what, and then trying to get
them to, okay, what does it feel like

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when you've obtained this goal and, and
feel that energy now and live your life

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as if you've already obtained that goal.

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So that not only helps elevate.

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your energy, but helps get your mind on
board with, okay, like I, I'm not, I'm

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going to act as if I'm Mrs. Utah now.

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And I also utilize this, you know,
after coming home from Mrs. America,

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it was another aha moment of like, wait
a second, even though I didn't receive

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that title, there's no reason why.

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I can't do the things that I wanted to
do as Mrs. America, as Mrs. Utah, right?

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I can still take that same energy
and implement it now, right?

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I didn't need that title to do
the things that I wanted to do.

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I can still do that as Mrs.
Utah and I, I, that's the same

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as local title holders, right?

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Like if, you know, elevating
your energy to stand.

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As if you were Mrs. Utah or Mrs. America
or whatever it is, whatever the goal

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is living that now and sitting in
that energy now helps to just helps

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amplify and helps you get closer to.

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Obtaining those goals and
being a, being aligned, right?

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Like, I, I think the biggest thing that
we miss when we are setting goals is the

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energy and the energy and being congruent.

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and aligned with what, with what
you are trying to accomplish.

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And I, I know, you know, beliefs that
we have oftentimes get in the way of,

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of receiving that and standing, you know,
standing as if we had already obtained

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that goal, but mindset is everything.

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And so trick, if you know, if it takes
tricking our mind to help make that shift.

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And I, so when you asked, you know,
how If that was hard to receive that

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title of Mrs. Eagle Mountain, I think,
I think I was so excited and humbled

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to be able to represent not only my
community, um, but bigger than that, of

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being a voice and an advocate for her.

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Myself, not only myself, but for so
many others who felt like they didn't

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have a platform or space to speak
up about these hard things that, um,

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need to shift and change in Utah.

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And, um, for the listeners.

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So my platform, um, was going
from survivor to thriver.

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So it was all around sexual abuse
prevention and awareness and sexual

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assault prevention and awareness.

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And as scary as that was, Um, you know,
I, I think as women and maybe, maybe as

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humans, it's so much easier to stand up
for other people than it is ourselves.

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And so when I'm talking to victims or
survivors of abuse and, and they're

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saying, well, I, I just don't, I don't
know how I can, you know, speak up about

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this or report this or stand up to this.

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And I have, I have to ask
them, like, if, if you knew.

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By standing up and reporting would
prevent it from happening to someone else.

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Would you?

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Would you?

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And, and they're like, Oh, well, yeah.

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It's like, okay, so why is it, why is
standing up for yourself any different?

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But sometimes we have to start there.

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We have to start with
standing up for others.

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And, you know, through my journey, you
know, started with standing up for others.

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And then it morphed into
becoming the person.

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That I always needed, right?

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The person that I needed to protect.

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and stand up for myself, and,
and my little child self, and my

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teenage self, and my young adult
self, and my, right, like all the

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different parts of ourselves that

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we're, you know, taking advantage
of in one way or another.

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So we talk about Like we talk a lot
about when you're going from just

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surviving to being able to thrive, right?

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You want to not be in like lizard
brain At our school trauma brain.

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Yes.

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Yes call it wizard versus lizard brain As
well, I can like make some magic, right?

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You can think a little deeper and more
complex and Anyway, yes, there was

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somewhere that I was going to go with
that, but I think a big part of that

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is being able to like find your voice
and know that you can speak up for

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other people that don't have a voice.

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Yes, even without having all of this
pageant stuff, but it like there's

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something about this whole process that,
um, kind of helped me shift my brain to

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be a better advocate, if that makes sense.

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It totally makes sense.

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And I, it's hard because I've, I mean,
I was just talking with someone at the

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gym this morning about, about this.

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Um, They had a child who, um, was, uh,
a victim, and just the layers that, you

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know, that continues, continue to, you
know, they continue to get re triggered,

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and it's hard because I don't know, I
don't know if we ever completely heal.

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00:15:23,638 --> 00:15:26,578
I think, I think, you
know, Oh, I've healed this.

231
00:15:26,578 --> 00:15:27,828
I've, I've done this.

232
00:15:27,828 --> 00:15:32,868
I've, I think that's kind of been,
Oh, what's the word I'm looking for?

233
00:15:33,728 --> 00:15:38,548
Sensationalized, especially on, you know,
and it's talked about a lot and trauma is

234
00:15:38,548 --> 00:15:42,698
thrown around a bunch and I, you know, I'm
like, some things I'm like, Oh, Oh, do we

235
00:15:42,698 --> 00:15:44,828
really understand what that word means?

236
00:15:45,478 --> 00:15:53,898
Um, but the is to be able to heal
enough, heal enough layers so that

237
00:15:54,078 --> 00:15:56,893
you are not triggered from day to day.

238
00:15:56,913 --> 00:16:02,513
And that once and if you get triggered,
you have the skills, you know how

239
00:16:02,553 --> 00:16:08,873
to, how to pull yourself out of that
and get an op, operate from a wizard

240
00:16:08,893 --> 00:16:10,673
brain rather than a lizard brain.

241
00:16:10,673 --> 00:16:12,383
I love, I love that analogy.

242
00:16:13,013 --> 00:16:18,593
Um, But you know, there are, I, I'm
still doing my work and even though

243
00:16:18,593 --> 00:16:23,743
like I've labeled myself as, yes, I feel
like I'm thriving, there are still times

244
00:16:23,773 --> 00:16:30,423
and days that are still very hard, but
it's important that we give ourselves

245
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:35,023
permission to not only like hold space
for those times when we get triggered

246
00:16:35,113 --> 00:16:37,723
and dealing and things still are hard.

247
00:16:38,928 --> 00:16:43,888
and we are able to help
ourselves out of it.

248
00:16:43,888 --> 00:16:51,588
I think, I think learning the skills
and getting to a place where you

249
00:16:51,588 --> 00:16:54,238
are able to function in, right?

250
00:16:54,708 --> 00:16:56,098
Function from day to day.

251
00:16:56,148 --> 00:17:03,648
I think that's how I see going from
survivor to thriver is being able to

252
00:17:03,648 --> 00:17:11,453
help yourself and not rely heavily on
Resources and everyone around you to

253
00:17:11,453 --> 00:17:13,693
pull you out and, and keep you afloat.

254
00:17:13,713 --> 00:17:14,103
Right.

255
00:17:15,283 --> 00:17:19,353
Um, yeah, it's, it's a journey for sure.

256
00:17:19,353 --> 00:17:20,153
It

257
00:17:20,233 --> 00:17:20,753
really is.

258
00:17:21,053 --> 00:17:28,533
I think of it kind of like when you're
doing fire drills with kids and there

259
00:17:28,533 --> 00:17:33,503
isn't actually an emergency, but like the
more you put those things into practice,

260
00:17:33,533 --> 00:17:35,593
the easier it is going to be to do it.

261
00:17:36,403 --> 00:17:37,223
Absolutely.

262
00:17:37,303 --> 00:17:37,663
Yes.

263
00:17:37,693 --> 00:17:39,533
And, and it's been a learning curve.

264
00:17:40,063 --> 00:17:44,733
And teaching my husband, like knowing what
to do, what I need when I am triggered,

265
00:17:44,733 --> 00:17:51,653
when I am in this space, um, of dealing
with heavy things, um, you know, giving,

266
00:17:51,663 --> 00:18:01,093
giving our loved ones the tools and the
language to help when needed is, is right.

267
00:18:01,093 --> 00:18:07,313
It takes a village and I know I, I could
not have done it without my village.

268
00:18:09,173 --> 00:18:10,713
Geez, for real.

269
00:18:11,173 --> 00:18:16,763
Um, And your husband is so incredible.

270
00:18:16,813 --> 00:18:18,043
He is so sweet.

271
00:18:18,443 --> 00:18:21,283
I loved watching him at your Barbie party.

272
00:18:22,913 --> 00:18:24,763
He was totally dressed up.

273
00:18:25,143 --> 00:18:26,333
It was so

274
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:26,423
cute.

275
00:18:26,443 --> 00:18:27,353
He was your Ken.

276
00:18:27,603 --> 00:18:34,823
Yes, and you know, something I haven't
really shared and talked about is the

277
00:18:34,823 --> 00:18:41,543
growth journey that I, I didn't even
know this would, who knew that a pageant

278
00:18:41,593 --> 00:18:49,243
would not obviously be a growth journey
for me, but wow, the growth journey that

279
00:18:49,243 --> 00:18:56,928
has happened in my relationship as You
know, there were so, so many different

280
00:18:56,928 --> 00:19:00,868
things that we have had to overcome
and heal as a couple and still are.

281
00:19:00,888 --> 00:19:05,088
We're still, you know, we are not
perfect, but it, it's been amazing

282
00:19:05,088 --> 00:19:10,288
to see how a pageant journey would,
would help, would con, confront us

283
00:19:10,288 --> 00:19:14,150
with different things that we needed
to heal in our relationship and be able

284
00:19:14,150 --> 00:19:21,788
to, you know, be able to, you know,
Allow space and grace for each other of

285
00:19:24,028 --> 00:19:28,428
showing up authentically because as
I mentioned earlier, we both left

286
00:19:28,538 --> 00:19:35,498
our community of origin that we grew
up in and it was very traumatizing

287
00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:39,508
for us leaving that, that community.

288
00:19:40,813 --> 00:19:43,843
And then reorganizing and redeveloping.

289
00:19:43,863 --> 00:19:49,303
Okay, who are we as not only
individuals, but as a family outside this

290
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:51,353
community, outside this organization?

291
00:19:53,313 --> 00:19:56,263
And it was like, it's so hard.

292
00:19:56,293 --> 00:20:00,813
Anybody who's, um, when I say
community, I mean religion.

293
00:20:00,823 --> 00:20:06,243
So anybody who has done that
sort of reform in their life of

294
00:20:06,253 --> 00:20:14,023
like foundationally re examining
everything is, is really, really hard.

295
00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:19,253
And it was so beautiful that this
pageant came into my life when it did

296
00:20:19,273 --> 00:20:29,903
because It provided so many opportunities
to, for my relationship to, you know,

297
00:20:29,903 --> 00:20:35,923
just re, I don't know, it provided
opportunities for conversations around

298
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:40,433
things that we didn't really talk
about or learn about each other before.

299
00:20:40,493 --> 00:20:48,223
And, you know, I, I, I would be lying if
I say it didn't push us to our limits.

300
00:20:48,253 --> 00:20:53,518
Um, We, you know, but it's, it's
so beautiful to look back at the

301
00:20:53,518 --> 00:20:57,038
journey, you know, I think I'm going
to write a book about it eventually,

302
00:20:57,098 --> 00:21:01,548
honestly, because there is so, you
know, social media just shows a

303
00:21:01,548 --> 00:21:05,478
snippet of, and the highlights, right?

304
00:21:06,548 --> 00:21:13,448
And I will say this last year as
Mrs. Utah, it was, it's been the

305
00:21:13,458 --> 00:21:17,538
best year of my life and it's
also, also been the hardest.

306
00:21:18,353 --> 00:21:24,533
There's been a lot of things behind
the scenes that, like, hardly

307
00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:28,113
anybody knows about, that I'm like,
okay, eventually I'm, I'm going

308
00:21:28,113 --> 00:21:29,803
to have to tell this whole story.

309
00:21:31,143 --> 00:21:40,418
Because I don't want people to think
that it was all rainbows and, you know,

310
00:21:41,048 --> 00:21:46,998
um, and it took a lot of work and a
lot of work on, on both of our part,

311
00:21:47,128 --> 00:21:51,168
um, in my relationship and marriage of,

312
00:21:53,818 --> 00:21:55,948
right, reexamining and holding space.

313
00:21:56,338 --> 00:21:56,708
For each

314
00:21:56,878 --> 00:22:02,838
other to, to grow and develop,
um, and reclaim our own,

315
00:22:03,888 --> 00:22:05,268
like, who we are as a person.

316
00:22:05,988 --> 00:22:11,588
And allow that individuality for
each other without the need to

317
00:22:14,388 --> 00:22:15,488
change, I guess.

318
00:22:15,508 --> 00:22:18,398
And I don't know if I'm
making any sense, but

319
00:22:18,548 --> 00:22:22,418
Like, you kind of have to figure
out Like your shelf broke.

320
00:22:24,898 --> 00:22:29,998
I went through all this, my husband, my
husband and I left, like I left when I was

321
00:22:29,998 --> 00:22:35,898
a teen and he was older and, um, like was
married in the temple and all that stuff.

322
00:22:36,428 --> 00:22:42,008
And even though we, it had been
years since either one of us had been

323
00:22:42,968 --> 00:22:46,868
raised in it or even gone to church
really, just cause we were raised in

324
00:22:46,868 --> 00:22:49,018
it and it was part of our culture.

325
00:22:50,603 --> 00:22:54,993
Long and it was full and
it was like every Sunday.

326
00:22:54,993 --> 00:22:56,503
That's what you were learning.

327
00:22:56,833 --> 00:22:58,723
You really have to step
back and figure out.

328
00:23:00,063 --> 00:23:01,423
if you want any of that.

329
00:23:01,823 --> 00:23:02,183
Yeah.

330
00:23:02,183 --> 00:23:05,613
Well, and, and just, um, I think
the biggest thing is restoring

331
00:23:05,613 --> 00:23:12,653
trust in yourself and, and you know,
what was big for me is separating.

332
00:23:12,823 --> 00:23:19,613
It was a big aha for me to separate
religion from spirituality and recognizing

333
00:23:19,663 --> 00:23:28,328
like, Oh, I, I am a very spiritual person,
and I don't necessarily, for me, and I,

334
00:23:28,358 --> 00:23:30,948
and I get this isn't way for everyone,
and this is what's so beautiful is we

335
00:23:30,948 --> 00:23:34,338
get, we, everybody gets their own path.

336
00:23:35,218 --> 00:23:35,908
This is what I believe.

337
00:23:35,918 --> 00:23:40,468
Everyone has their own path, um, but it's
important for everyone to feel connected

338
00:23:40,468 --> 00:23:43,538
to something higher than us, whether
that's a higher power, whether that's

339
00:23:43,878 --> 00:23:49,718
God, whether that's, um, You know, what,
what, uh, the universe, whatever that is.

340
00:23:50,008 --> 00:23:52,118
It is so crucial that we feel connected.

341
00:23:52,118 --> 00:23:58,288
And once I was able to separate and
realize, Oh, I can still be a very

342
00:23:58,288 --> 00:24:03,388
spiritual person and it doesn't need
to be tied to this organization.

343
00:24:04,118 --> 00:24:09,868
That was so freeing for me and for
my family, um, to really trust and

344
00:24:09,868 --> 00:24:16,173
lean into what felt right for us and
where our values are Um, Lay, you

345
00:24:16,173 --> 00:24:20,143
know, we, I think that was another
big fear of like, Oh, leaving this,

346
00:24:20,843 --> 00:24:27,183
this organized religion, like, how do
we, we had so many people like, well,

347
00:24:27,213 --> 00:24:28,833
how are you going to teach your kids?

348
00:24:28,833 --> 00:24:33,433
Like what's right and wrong and what
values are and what, and, and, you

349
00:24:33,433 --> 00:24:37,443
know, there was a moment in my brain
that was like, Oh, like that it

350
00:24:37,443 --> 00:24:39,303
felt scary and confronted with that.

351
00:24:39,303 --> 00:24:41,323
I'm like, Oh, how am I going to do this?

352
00:24:41,323 --> 00:24:44,783
But then quickly realizing,
you know, I graduated.

353
00:24:45,638 --> 00:24:50,638
In social work and, you know, took,
you know, within that, like all these

354
00:24:50,638 --> 00:24:55,488
marriage and family classes and child
development and, and it was like, Oh,

355
00:24:55,508 --> 00:25:02,998
wait, no, no, I am very equipped to be
able to teach my kids values and what's

356
00:25:02,998 --> 00:25:06,408
right and wrong and what we feel is.

357
00:25:06,913 --> 00:25:16,093
right for our family, um, was a huge
freedom and restoring trust back in

358
00:25:16,093 --> 00:25:18,803
myself of like, yes, I am equipped.

359
00:25:19,293 --> 00:25:20,983
I, we can do this.

360
00:25:21,503 --> 00:25:25,203
Um, and how beautiful that it is.

361
00:25:25,433 --> 00:25:30,053
It like, if anything, it gave me back
more power because I feel like before,

362
00:25:30,413 --> 00:25:34,473
and I'm not saying this is like for
everyone, but for me, I felt like I

363
00:25:34,483 --> 00:25:43,793
relied a lot on the religion to teach my
kids and realizing, Oh, wait, I'm taking

364
00:25:43,793 --> 00:25:49,863
back this power and, and I really get to
teach my kids what we value as a family.

365
00:25:50,483 --> 00:25:56,218
And, um, Yeah, just, yeah,
again, restoring that trust

366
00:25:56,218 --> 00:25:58,978
is huge and was everything.

367
00:25:59,028 --> 00:26:03,858
And on this journey, this pageant journey,
you know, I was thinking, Oh, this

368
00:26:03,888 --> 00:26:05,758
pageant journey is going to help me heal.

369
00:26:06,128 --> 00:26:09,128
Feeling like I have a voice, but
what I didn't realize, you know,

370
00:26:09,128 --> 00:26:11,678
and I was thinking like feeling
like I had a voice to advocate

371
00:26:11,678 --> 00:26:15,288
for, um, abuse prevention, but.

372
00:26:15,548 --> 00:26:18,658
Looking back now, it's
like, Oh, no, no, no, no.

373
00:26:18,688 --> 00:26:20,178
This wasn't just for abuse prevention.

374
00:26:20,188 --> 00:26:24,068
This was healing myself, um,
and being able to speak up in

375
00:26:24,068 --> 00:26:29,948
relationships of like speaking up for
my boundaries, um, advocating for my

376
00:26:29,948 --> 00:26:34,848
relationship with my children, um,
setting boundaries in my marriage.

377
00:26:35,298 --> 00:26:36,108
Um,

378
00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:42,298
I mean, it, it trickled down to
all aspects of my life, realizing.

379
00:26:43,078 --> 00:26:47,908
Oh, I felt like I didn't have a voice
in so many different places in my life.

380
00:26:48,998 --> 00:26:56,128
And stepping into that role just
really helped, helped me help

381
00:26:56,128 --> 00:27:02,288
to restore that strength and
realizing, Oh no, I am worthy.

382
00:27:02,558 --> 00:27:04,398
I am worth standing up for.

383
00:27:06,548 --> 00:27:09,238
And it's been fun to see
it trickle down to my kids.

384
00:27:09,258 --> 00:27:14,668
My, my oldest daughter, um, I have
three daughters and then my youngest

385
00:27:14,668 --> 00:27:21,188
is a son and this trickle down effect
of seeing how it's impacted them.

386
00:27:21,948 --> 00:27:25,858
Being able to see mom do hard things.

387
00:27:26,498 --> 00:27:31,453
And, the things that they've pushed
themselves to do because they know,

388
00:27:31,453 --> 00:27:33,193
Hey, mom, mom's done hard things.

389
00:27:33,213 --> 00:27:34,363
I can do hard things.

390
00:27:35,133 --> 00:27:37,863
It's been so cool.

391
00:27:39,103 --> 00:27:41,863
It's like, that's, that's been the gift.

392
00:27:42,123 --> 00:27:44,713
It makes you a really cool example.

393
00:27:44,803 --> 00:27:46,773
Like you're practicing
what you're preaching.

394
00:27:47,313 --> 00:27:50,443
You're not just like sitting on
the sidelines and being like,

395
00:27:50,453 --> 00:27:52,533
okay, you go do the thing.

396
00:27:53,063 --> 00:27:53,343
You're

397
00:27:53,803 --> 00:27:54,783
doing the thing.

398
00:27:55,353 --> 00:27:56,143
Doing the thing.

399
00:27:56,523 --> 00:27:57,403
You went in.

400
00:27:58,023 --> 00:28:01,933
So state title, you won.

401
00:28:02,793 --> 00:28:04,873
It was sandwiched right in
between you and Charlotte.

402
00:28:07,643 --> 00:28:10,043
The first runner up in you.

403
00:28:12,253 --> 00:28:17,633
And then you went on, and I can
imagine being on this, like, I was

404
00:28:17,633 --> 00:28:19,763
on a high from being on the pageant.

405
00:28:19,813 --> 00:28:20,863
I didn't even win.

406
00:28:20,973 --> 00:28:23,143
I was just, I loved being a part of it.

407
00:28:23,878 --> 00:28:25,808
Oh, the energy around that?

408
00:28:25,808 --> 00:28:31,228
Well, yes, the energy around state
and all the women participating

409
00:28:31,288 --> 00:28:33,788
is just so, it's hard to describe.

410
00:28:33,848 --> 00:28:35,728
It is hard to describe
unless you're in it.

411
00:28:35,998 --> 00:28:37,508
But what about the hangover?

412
00:28:37,758 --> 00:28:38,908
How bad was that?

413
00:28:39,328 --> 00:28:40,168
Oh, yes.

414
00:28:40,178 --> 00:28:43,228
It, it was, it was, Right?

415
00:28:43,228 --> 00:28:48,338
Because we are pushing
ourselves in every facet, right?

416
00:28:48,338 --> 00:28:54,438
I tell everybody, um, Hey, if you want
to go, if you're craving a self growth

417
00:28:54,438 --> 00:28:58,328
journey, a pageant is a great way for
that because you're not only pushing

418
00:28:58,328 --> 00:29:03,568
yourself physically, you're not only
pushing yourself socially and mentally and

419
00:29:03,788 --> 00:29:11,808
spiritually, like you're pushing yourself
in every facet and It was crazy to win

420
00:29:11,818 --> 00:29:19,338
state and then having to pick up and
turn around and go right on to nationals.

421
00:29:19,708 --> 00:29:20,118
Yeah.

422
00:29:20,628 --> 00:29:23,088
And that was a lot.

423
00:29:23,228 --> 00:29:29,098
Um, but also what a crazy opportunity.

424
00:29:29,658 --> 00:29:33,798
It's funny because I, I didn't
even know when I joined the Mrs.

425
00:29:33,858 --> 00:29:36,378
Utah organization, I had no idea.

426
00:29:37,653 --> 00:29:40,553
That, like, the winner
goes on to Nationals.

427
00:29:40,583 --> 00:29:42,713
And I don't know how I missed that memo.

428
00:29:43,313 --> 00:29:47,423
I, I, like, I don't know if I was
tuning out to the, like, during, like,

429
00:29:47,423 --> 00:29:53,933
a workshop where that was talked about,
or, cause it was, like, only, yeah, it,

430
00:29:54,733 --> 00:29:56,943
it just, it didn't click in my brain.

431
00:29:56,943 --> 00:29:58,683
It did not click in my brain.

432
00:30:00,018 --> 00:30:01,968
Mrs. Utah goes on to
compete at Mrs. America.

433
00:30:02,508 --> 00:30:05,698
And so that was a whirlwind
to like get on board with it.

434
00:30:05,698 --> 00:30:07,138
Like, okay, we're doing this.

435
00:30:07,168 --> 00:30:08,478
Let's, let's go.

436
00:30:09,048 --> 00:30:09,768
And,

437
00:30:10,548 --> 00:30:16,478
um, it was, it was a amazing experience
to be able to rub shoulders with such

438
00:30:16,478 --> 00:30:20,228
powerful women across America, where.

439
00:30:20,778 --> 00:30:24,868
You know, a lot of them
are doctors and teachers.

440
00:30:25,028 --> 00:30:27,548
There was just so, it was so diverse.

441
00:30:28,098 --> 00:30:33,388
But all of these women were, had
a cause and something that they

442
00:30:33,398 --> 00:30:35,538
felt so passionate to stand up for.

443
00:30:36,158 --> 00:30:41,873
And, I mean, life change,
life changing week, right?

444
00:30:41,883 --> 00:30:45,103
To be able to, not only, I mean,
so fun to have the opportunity

445
00:30:45,103 --> 00:30:49,463
to get red carpet ready, hair and
makeup done every day, fun wardrobe,

446
00:30:49,473 --> 00:30:51,193
you know, all the fun part of it.

447
00:30:51,663 --> 00:30:52,523
All week.

448
00:30:52,993 --> 00:31:00,293
Yes, but, um, yeah, it was, it
was definitely a bucket list

449
00:31:00,683 --> 00:31:02,393
opportunity for sure.

450
00:31:02,703 --> 00:31:03,383
For sure.

451
00:31:03,878 --> 00:31:08,618
I kind of went just to kind of be
like, I didn't realize for some reason

452
00:31:08,618 --> 00:31:13,018
when I signed up, my head was just
only thinking about Mrs. Utah and

453
00:31:13,068 --> 00:31:14,688
I didn't even really think about.

454
00:31:16,043 --> 00:31:17,283
nationals at all.

455
00:31:18,113 --> 00:31:18,553
Right?

456
00:31:18,653 --> 00:31:18,903
I

457
00:31:18,943 --> 00:31:19,823
don't, I know.

458
00:31:20,193 --> 00:31:22,403
Yeah, I was right there with you.

459
00:31:22,443 --> 00:31:24,383
Didn't, didn't realize, didn't realize.

460
00:31:24,533 --> 00:31:27,583
I'm gonna go and make sure I really
want to do this again because right

461
00:31:27,583 --> 00:31:30,543
afterwards I told Amanda Brady, I was
like, I'm going to quit my job and

462
00:31:30,543 --> 00:31:31,813
I'm going to do pageants full time.

463
00:31:32,813 --> 00:31:33,253
Perfect.

464
00:31:34,093 --> 00:31:35,213
Slow down, slow down.

465
00:31:35,223 --> 00:31:35,373
Wait a minute.

466
00:31:36,963 --> 00:31:37,933
Let's think about this.

467
00:31:38,883 --> 00:31:38,893
Uh,

468
00:31:39,213 --> 00:31:43,253
but yeah, it was really fun to watch
and I could tell it's like, it's hard.

469
00:31:43,373 --> 00:31:44,303
It's hard work.

470
00:31:44,833 --> 00:31:50,328
Um, And you are pushing
yourself to the max.

471
00:31:50,738 --> 00:31:51,418
Oh, yeah.

472
00:31:51,568 --> 00:31:58,848
Um, It, yes, it physically demanding,
but mentally I don't, I don't think

473
00:31:58,858 --> 00:32:05,178
people understand the mental game, um,
of doing pageants, of really having

474
00:32:05,178 --> 00:32:11,558
to get good at staying in, in your,
like, connect, not only connected

475
00:32:11,558 --> 00:32:12,368
to yourself, but to other people.

476
00:32:13,358 --> 00:32:18,308
I like to say inward and upward, like you
staying connected to yourself and heaven.

477
00:32:18,978 --> 00:32:22,608
And cause once you start looking
side to side, you get in your

478
00:32:22,608 --> 00:32:26,438
home, you know, in that comparison
game, you get in your own head and.

479
00:32:26,878 --> 00:32:28,698
It's like, it's over.

480
00:32:28,958 --> 00:32:29,598
It's over.

481
00:32:30,248 --> 00:32:33,428
Um, and it, it is, it pushes ya.

482
00:32:33,498 --> 00:32:38,468
And you have to get really,
really good of staying in your

483
00:32:38,468 --> 00:32:42,348
own lane and, and not comparing.

484
00:32:42,428 --> 00:32:45,818
And I think, as a society,
we struggle with that.

485
00:32:45,858 --> 00:32:46,788
And so,

486
00:32:48,848 --> 00:32:52,888
yeah, as I'm sitting here talking,
it's, it's really hitting home for

487
00:32:52,898 --> 00:32:57,498
me how, I've had to get good at that
this last year and strengthen that

488
00:32:57,498 --> 00:33:02,898
muscle of letting go of the comparison
game and giving myself permission

489
00:33:05,108 --> 00:33:17,908
to just show up as me and, and not
some idea of how I think I should

490
00:33:17,918 --> 00:33:21,448
be showing up, you know, and I'm,
I'm, I'm still learning that.

491
00:33:21,458 --> 00:33:27,718
In fact, this, this, this last
weekend, um, we did a photo

492
00:33:27,728 --> 00:33:30,878
shoot Saturday morning and.

493
00:33:31,553 --> 00:33:38,113
I, I, um, without going into too much
detail, uh, something happened and

494
00:33:38,113 --> 00:33:42,063
Saturday night I came home and had
a panic attack and it was all around

495
00:33:42,083 --> 00:33:48,903
because I changed something or I
gave up a little bit of my power to

496
00:33:49,593 --> 00:33:57,343
acquiesce to what some someone else was
expecting and I didn't feel congruent.

497
00:33:58,073 --> 00:34:05,023
With like, I didn't feel congruent,
um, or authentic with how I showed up

498
00:34:06,453 --> 00:34:11,903
and it was like, okay, I get to learn
this lesson again of really getting

499
00:34:11,903 --> 00:34:17,033
clear and tapping into what feels right
for me and not acquiescing to what

500
00:34:17,033 --> 00:34:19,098
someone else feels is right for me.

501
00:34:19,098 --> 00:34:24,308
Yeah, it's, it's, it's a, you
know, it's ongoing practice.

502
00:34:24,308 --> 00:34:25,258
I don't, I don't know.

503
00:34:25,688 --> 00:34:29,438
I don't know if we ever get to master,
you know, I would love to be able

504
00:34:29,438 --> 00:34:33,078
to master that, but it's, it's a,
it's an ongoing practice for sure.

505
00:34:33,628 --> 00:34:34,128
Do you think

506
00:34:34,128 --> 00:34:36,238
that's like the difference between

507
00:34:38,368 --> 00:34:39,828
imposter syndrome?

508
00:34:41,608 --> 00:34:45,488
Like, will that, if you're showing
up authentically, do you think

509
00:34:45,498 --> 00:34:48,888
that will help negate the imposter
syndrome that a lot of us feel?

510
00:34:49,408 --> 00:34:50,028
Cause.

511
00:34:51,118 --> 00:34:53,548
I just kind of faked it till I made it.

512
00:34:53,598 --> 00:34:57,858
And I still am like, I have no idea
what I'm doing, but I'm just gonna, I'm

513
00:34:57,858 --> 00:35:01,788
going to show up and I'm going to do
my best and I'm figuring out who I am.

514
00:35:03,918 --> 00:35:04,528
Yeah.

515
00:35:04,728 --> 00:35:07,838
I, you know, I, I agree in
faking it till you make it.

516
00:35:07,848 --> 00:35:09,208
Cause I've, I've been there.

517
00:35:09,908 --> 00:35:12,968
Um, Just feel like imposter syndrome.

518
00:35:13,028 --> 00:35:20,218
Like, but also I think what's important
is to give ourselves space and permission.

519
00:35:22,643 --> 00:35:23,523
And time.

520
00:35:23,573 --> 00:35:24,933
I think, I think this is key.

521
00:35:24,933 --> 00:35:30,273
We don't, we don't give ourselves enough
time, quiet time to really connect

522
00:35:30,273 --> 00:35:32,603
with ourselves and really get clear

523
00:35:34,963 --> 00:35:36,323
on what we value.

524
00:35:37,463 --> 00:35:42,283
A lot of times we give up our
power to what other people value.

525
00:35:43,948 --> 00:35:45,038
And,

526
00:35:47,298 --> 00:35:49,988
um, like for instance, so I,
I'm going to, I'm going to just,

527
00:35:49,988 --> 00:35:51,188
you know, just call it as it is.

528
00:35:51,188 --> 00:35:52,078
Cause that's how I do.

529
00:35:52,918 --> 00:35:58,568
So the photo shoot, I, um, I, you know,
the dresses that I were wearing, they

530
00:35:58,568 --> 00:36:03,843
were, they were plunging neckline and, You
know, sometimes in the pageant world and

531
00:36:04,053 --> 00:36:08,103
I've heard, I've heard, you know, through
like, just like, Oh, like I would never

532
00:36:08,103 --> 00:36:13,613
win because I don't have, I don't have the
chest that, you know, they're looking for.

533
00:36:14,013 --> 00:36:17,853
And so we, we laugh in the pageant
world of like, Oh, you know, like

534
00:36:17,853 --> 00:36:20,203
the pads that you can put in,
build a boobie workshop, you know?

535
00:36:20,743 --> 00:36:25,813
And, you know, so I put, I put pads in
my dress and I hadn't done that before.

536
00:36:25,823 --> 00:36:29,573
And for this photo shoot and,
you know, I got the photo, the

537
00:36:29,573 --> 00:36:31,053
photos back and I'm like, Oh no.

538
00:36:31,913 --> 00:36:35,003
I don't feel good about
like, that's not me.

539
00:36:35,033 --> 00:36:36,203
That's not my body.

540
00:36:36,493 --> 00:36:38,913
I don't, I don't feel congruent with that.

541
00:36:38,923 --> 00:36:42,173
Like, and like this judgment and what
caused the panic attack, what I'm

542
00:36:42,173 --> 00:36:50,573
realizing is the judgment I had on myself,
judging myself for like, how dare you?

543
00:36:51,233 --> 00:36:53,353
Like this is what was going on in my mind.

544
00:36:53,613 --> 00:37:00,583
How dare you let other people's opinions
and what they think you should look like?

545
00:37:02,003 --> 00:37:03,503
Impact how you showed up.

546
00:37:03,983 --> 00:37:04,553
Oof.

547
00:37:04,873 --> 00:37:07,093
Oh, it was, yeah.

548
00:37:07,303 --> 00:37:14,343
Like this is, this is hard for me to admit
and, and say is because like, I'm right.

549
00:37:14,343 --> 00:37:18,273
Like I'm still learning and healing
different layers of myself, of like,

550
00:37:18,273 --> 00:37:22,163
okay, I, I get to also practice.

551
00:37:23,123 --> 00:37:26,423
You know, and, and, you know, as I zoom
out, I'm like, oh, well, you know, I was

552
00:37:26,423 --> 00:37:30,563
in the energy, like, I was surrounded
by, you know, in the pageant world, you

553
00:37:30,673 --> 00:37:34,593
know, lots of photoshoots going on, lots
of pageant ladies around, all the make,

554
00:37:34,613 --> 00:37:38,553
you know, my hair and makeup team, and
I was in that world and in that energy.

555
00:37:39,043 --> 00:37:43,083
And so what I learned about
myself is I need to get good.

556
00:37:44,558 --> 00:37:49,228
at taking a step back for a second,
connecting with myself, separating

557
00:37:49,228 --> 00:37:53,148
myself, maybe even energetically
for a moment, checking with myself,

558
00:37:53,168 --> 00:37:55,048
okay, what feels right for me?

559
00:37:55,898 --> 00:38:00,058
And I think this, this relates to
every aspect in our lives, right?

560
00:38:00,058 --> 00:38:03,038
Whenever we're making, I mean, that was
a small decision, but whenever we're

561
00:38:03,038 --> 00:38:08,113
making decisions of getting good at
separating ourselves, You know, from

562
00:38:08,153 --> 00:38:13,303
other people and really getting clear
what is my heart saying, what is my

563
00:38:13,303 --> 00:38:15,183
gut saying, and what is my head saying?

564
00:38:15,213 --> 00:38:17,603
Because the, you can get
three different messages.

565
00:38:18,663 --> 00:38:23,663
You know, gut, um, I say in like, that's
our intuition, that's our inner knowing,

566
00:38:24,313 --> 00:38:30,353
um, you know, sometimes, you know, heart,
gut, and mind will all be, it will be

567
00:38:30,353 --> 00:38:31,623
giving us three different messages.

568
00:38:32,193 --> 00:38:38,873
answers, but strengthening that muscle
to really get good of tapping inward

569
00:38:39,123 --> 00:38:41,813
of how do I feel good about this?

570
00:38:41,983 --> 00:38:45,923
What do I think and feel, um, about this?

571
00:38:45,963 --> 00:38:49,103
And is this congruent with my values?

572
00:38:49,513 --> 00:38:52,303
Um, you know, something that I,
I work with my coaching clients

573
00:38:52,313 --> 00:38:57,073
about is, um, there's a worksheet
you can google like Brene Brown.

574
00:38:57,908 --> 00:38:58,818
List of values.

575
00:38:59,288 --> 00:38:59,618
Yeah.

576
00:38:59,908 --> 00:39:03,548
So Brené Brown has a worksheet, um, and
has a whole bunch of list of values.

577
00:39:03,578 --> 00:39:08,728
And I work with clients to get like
pit, be able to narrow down and get

578
00:39:08,728 --> 00:39:13,148
clear on their top three values,
values, which is really hard from

579
00:39:13,148 --> 00:39:14,788
this worksheet, like three to five.

580
00:39:15,738 --> 00:39:19,898
And once you are able to, especially
someone who has deconstructed and

581
00:39:19,898 --> 00:39:27,498
left, um, a religion to get clear on
the values on your personal values.

582
00:39:27,813 --> 00:39:32,583
Is huge because then you can know
when you're making a decision, you

583
00:39:32,593 --> 00:39:37,013
know, if you are operating out of the
values that feel congruent to you, or

584
00:39:37,013 --> 00:39:40,513
if you are giving up your power and
operating from someone else's values.

585
00:39:40,833 --> 00:39:41,203
Yeah.

586
00:39:44,403 --> 00:39:46,833
Oh, if you're not aligned
with your own values, just

587
00:39:46,833 --> 00:39:49,013
like that tiniest little tilt.

588
00:39:49,423 --> 00:39:49,913
Oh yeah.

589
00:39:50,133 --> 00:39:52,143
Shift everything.

590
00:39:52,963 --> 00:39:56,663
And then it, yes, and then it
feels incongruent, you, um,

591
00:39:56,713 --> 00:39:58,553
that's where anxiety comes from.

592
00:39:58,843 --> 00:40:00,373
And then you can't figure
out how to get back.

593
00:40:01,598 --> 00:40:04,658
Honestly, that's where anxiety
and depression comes from.

594
00:40:04,658 --> 00:40:10,708
A lot of the time is this feeling
incongruent with what feels right for

595
00:40:10,708 --> 00:40:17,288
us and giving up our power to all these
other sources, people like organizations

596
00:40:17,978 --> 00:40:19,958
thinking like that's what is expected.

597
00:40:19,958 --> 00:40:21,028
That's what's needed.

598
00:40:21,038 --> 00:40:24,668
That's what's, um, that's what they need.

599
00:40:27,693 --> 00:40:34,033
That has been life changing for
me, honestly, is realizing, oh wow.

600
00:40:34,873 --> 00:40:41,253
And, and to do, to make sure you're not
taking advice from people's, people who

601
00:40:41,353 --> 00:40:43,873
had, who has different values than you.

602
00:40:44,513 --> 00:40:48,533
Um, like one of my top values,
my, I'll tell you, my top two

603
00:40:48,533 --> 00:40:50,603
values is freedom and connection.

604
00:40:51,933 --> 00:41:04,273
And where I have loved ones who has a top
value of, Um, financial security and while

605
00:41:04,273 --> 00:41:11,163
that, you know, like that's a great thing
and something to be valued, I know that

606
00:41:11,163 --> 00:41:13,733
that it is a high, high value for them.

607
00:41:13,773 --> 00:41:19,633
And so if I am asking advice from
them and they are, they are telling

608
00:41:19,633 --> 00:41:26,773
me advice that may, and I've had this
experience before, that may contradict.

609
00:41:27,258 --> 00:41:28,518
My value of freedom.

610
00:41:29,768 --> 00:41:34,818
I it's like, okay, thank you
for that advice, but this

611
00:41:34,818 --> 00:41:36,388
actually aligns with me better.

612
00:41:37,548 --> 00:41:44,438
Um, anyways, that's just a little example,
but again, I highly encourage everyone.

613
00:41:44,438 --> 00:41:47,688
If you have not done it and, and it's,
you know, it's like, oh yeah, I know

614
00:41:47,688 --> 00:41:55,088
what I value, but to really write down on
paper exactly like the, the, the words.

615
00:41:55,403 --> 00:42:00,623
that you build your life around is huge.

616
00:42:01,333 --> 00:42:02,253
It's life changing.

617
00:42:02,253 --> 00:42:05,373
Like, okay, so when I'm making
this decision, does this align?

618
00:42:05,803 --> 00:42:08,303
Does this align with my
value of connection, with

619
00:42:08,313 --> 00:42:10,593
authenticity, with freedom?

620
00:42:11,103 --> 00:42:13,403
And a lot of times it's like,
oh, actually it doesn't.

621
00:42:13,743 --> 00:42:14,313
It doesn't.

622
00:42:14,323 --> 00:42:15,943
So that's not for me.

623
00:42:17,193 --> 00:42:17,993
How cool.

624
00:42:18,203 --> 00:42:19,353
How powerful is that?

625
00:42:19,363 --> 00:42:20,733
And it seems so simple.

626
00:42:21,323 --> 00:42:26,583
It is so simple, but we don't, we
all, yeah, we haven't been taught

627
00:42:26,593 --> 00:42:31,223
to take the time to really get
to know ourselves in that way.

628
00:42:31,773 --> 00:42:32,683
Oh, it's over there.

629
00:42:32,713 --> 00:42:38,138
I'm gonna have to show you, I got
this planner and it's I don't remember

630
00:42:38,138 --> 00:42:42,548
exactly what it's called, but all in the
front of it, it has you like, find your

631
00:42:42,548 --> 00:42:47,538
life's purpose and your goals and your
mission statement and all these things.

632
00:42:47,678 --> 00:42:48,488
Oh, I love it.

633
00:42:48,988 --> 00:42:52,368
And a little, what is it called?

634
00:42:52,388 --> 00:42:53,528
Like a dream board?

635
00:42:54,038 --> 00:42:54,558
Yes.

636
00:42:54,578 --> 00:42:55,338
Vision board.

637
00:42:55,338 --> 00:42:55,828
Yes.

638
00:42:55,868 --> 00:42:56,398
Dream board.

639
00:42:57,248 --> 00:42:59,638
To like, cause I, I have all these.

640
00:43:00,213 --> 00:43:01,183
Things happening.

641
00:43:01,183 --> 00:43:06,603
I don't have a normal job anymore, and
I can't do normal calendaring things

642
00:43:06,643 --> 00:43:10,003
on my phone while I'm talking on it
while I'm trying to talk to somebody.

643
00:43:10,043 --> 00:43:11,423
Like, my brain doesn't work like that.

644
00:43:11,423 --> 00:43:16,003
So I went old school and got pencil
and paper and just having to sit and

645
00:43:16,003 --> 00:43:19,033
think about that and sit for a minute.

646
00:43:19,743 --> 00:43:24,643
There is something powerful
that comes from pen to paper.

647
00:43:25,103 --> 00:43:29,873
Not only in like, so when you're saying
creating your dream board, um, manifesting

648
00:43:30,193 --> 00:43:32,193
to be able to actually write it out.

649
00:43:32,193 --> 00:43:33,693
Cause you're right.

650
00:43:33,703 --> 00:43:41,278
A lot of times we rely on our phones and
technology, um, to, Organize our lives.

651
00:43:42,338 --> 00:43:43,148
It's powerful.

652
00:43:43,448 --> 00:43:48,158
That's why I, I mean, journaling when
you're trying to manifest, um, being able

653
00:43:48,158 --> 00:43:54,098
to journal and write down affirmations
and journal out your dreams as if they

654
00:43:54,098 --> 00:43:58,808
have already happened is so powerful,
and I cannot emphasize that enough.

655
00:43:59,558 --> 00:44:02,678
So I love that you got the
jour your, your paper journal.

656
00:44:02,923 --> 00:44:05,528
I, I, um, I just got a new one too.

657
00:44:05,908 --> 00:44:06,148
It's

658
00:44:06,148 --> 00:44:07,678
just so, it's so pretty.

659
00:44:07,678 --> 00:44:08,488
And I was like.

660
00:44:09,568 --> 00:44:13,118
But it's all about manifesting, like, what
is the type of year that I want to have?

661
00:44:13,168 --> 00:44:17,448
And then each week, it gives you a little
breakdown of like, what are different ways

662
00:44:17,448 --> 00:44:20,088
that you can work towards meeting them?

663
00:44:20,928 --> 00:44:26,628
But it's been so overwhelming because
you have a lot going on, a lot going on.

664
00:44:26,788 --> 00:44:31,868
But what really helped is
the what's your why workshop.

665
00:44:32,518 --> 00:44:33,058
Oh, good.

666
00:44:33,238 --> 00:44:36,748
Like, how do you sit down and
answer who, what, where, when?

667
00:44:37,528 --> 00:44:41,348
Why and how, I guess, is the other one.

668
00:44:41,558 --> 00:44:44,688
Yes, I, you're not alone in that.

669
00:44:44,768 --> 00:44:51,118
I, I know as It's, it's hard for so
many of us because we, we just get

670
00:44:51,118 --> 00:44:56,518
caught up in the grind of life and
we're just going and doing the things.

671
00:44:56,568 --> 00:45:00,568
And a lot of times we don't sit
back and actually ask, okay,

672
00:45:00,568 --> 00:45:02,368
what, what's my why behind this?

673
00:45:02,678 --> 00:45:05,188
What, what is actually motivating me?

674
00:45:05,838 --> 00:45:10,098
And, um, what does this look like for me?

675
00:45:10,108 --> 00:45:16,298
Like if, you know, what is
my ideal best case scenario?

676
00:45:16,488 --> 00:45:19,138
A lot of times we don't even
give ourselves permission to.

677
00:45:20,358 --> 00:45:23,408
Think about that and we just like,
Oh yeah, this is what I've been told.

678
00:45:23,408 --> 00:45:24,918
This is what I need to do.

679
00:45:24,948 --> 00:45:26,308
This is what's been expected.

680
00:45:26,308 --> 00:45:28,938
This is what's been suggested, suggested.

681
00:45:29,788 --> 00:45:30,618
Um,

682
00:45:34,098 --> 00:45:34,658
yeah.

683
00:45:34,708 --> 00:45:39,938
And getting, getting clear on
your why is everything so huge,

684
00:45:40,758 --> 00:45:41,308
man.

685
00:45:42,168 --> 00:45:48,678
Well, I think this was probably a
good point to start winding down.

686
00:45:49,748 --> 00:45:54,828
Do you want to ask, is
there any recommendations?

687
00:45:55,708 --> 00:46:00,088
That you have for anybody that's
like looking to make a life

688
00:46:00,088 --> 00:46:01,818
shift like we're talking about.

689
00:46:01,828 --> 00:46:03,438
Like where do you begin?

690
00:46:03,628 --> 00:46:05,678
Like you already know you
need to make a change.

691
00:46:08,128 --> 00:46:09,368
What's your first?

692
00:46:11,213 --> 00:46:18,303
First thing is holding space
for yourself and giving yourself

693
00:46:18,463 --> 00:46:20,143
permission to do things differently.

694
00:46:20,653 --> 00:46:26,633
I think it is so scary to take
that first step of create, making

695
00:46:26,633 --> 00:46:30,313
a change and creating change and
giving yourself permission to change.

696
00:46:31,753 --> 00:46:36,393
Um, And utilizing support, right?

697
00:46:36,423 --> 00:46:37,293
It takes a village.

698
00:46:37,293 --> 00:46:38,673
We can't do things alone.

699
00:46:38,673 --> 00:46:44,263
So whether that's hiring a
counselor, hiring a coach, um,

700
00:46:46,323 --> 00:46:47,993
we can't do things alone.

701
00:46:48,563 --> 00:46:50,293
We are meant to have a community.

702
00:46:50,293 --> 00:46:53,083
We are meant, we are,
we are village people.

703
00:46:53,313 --> 00:46:56,683
We are tribe people from
the beginning of time.

704
00:46:56,683 --> 00:47:05,683
And there are so many resources
available that you just got to utilize.

705
00:47:05,763 --> 00:47:14,838
And I think, I think the biggest hang
up that, that people get, you know, that

706
00:47:14,918 --> 00:47:24,978
people get stuck is you have to know
and feel that you are worthy and worth

707
00:47:24,978 --> 00:47:29,068
it to stand up for and create change.

708
00:47:29,158 --> 00:47:33,678
Like you are worthy of creating
the life that you want and dream.

709
00:47:33,988 --> 00:47:37,698
You are worth making these changes.

710
00:47:40,618 --> 00:47:44,758
Becoming that advocate, advocate
for yourself and whatever that is,

711
00:47:48,068 --> 00:47:53,098
because we get stuck in our own
negative beliefs and patterns and

712
00:47:53,118 --> 00:47:58,168
things we've been told or have been
taught that, that are frankly, Is wrong.

713
00:47:59,758 --> 00:48:06,378
They do not serve us and
prevent us from, from creating

714
00:48:06,378 --> 00:48:07,988
the life that we want, right?

715
00:48:07,998 --> 00:48:11,458
So that, that, that would be my
first, if you are really struggling

716
00:48:11,458 --> 00:48:14,598
and you don't know, like, you
know, cause I, I was there.

717
00:48:15,618 --> 00:48:16,238
Oh my goodness.

718
00:48:16,248 --> 00:48:19,603
Not even, I mean, I was there.

719
00:48:20,013 --> 00:48:25,083
I was there probably two
years before, two years ago.

720
00:48:25,813 --> 00:48:30,613
It was right before the pageant and years
leading up to, you know, joining as Mrs.

721
00:48:30,653 --> 00:48:37,833
Eagle Mountain of like feeling so lost
and feeling like I didn't have a purpose

722
00:48:38,033 --> 00:48:44,633
and feeling like, you know, I felt like
there was something I need, I, I should be

723
00:48:44,633 --> 00:48:47,753
doing, but I wasn't clear on what it was.

724
00:48:48,313 --> 00:48:55,933
And, You know, I was dealing with trauma
and depression and, um, going through

725
00:48:56,813 --> 00:48:59,303
PTSD and was really, really struggling.

726
00:48:59,763 --> 00:49:02,113
And what helped shift everything

727
00:49:05,143 --> 00:49:07,633
was healing the belief that I am worth it.

728
00:49:09,233 --> 00:49:09,963
That's so powerful.

729
00:49:11,643 --> 00:49:12,803
Man, I love you.

730
00:49:14,783 --> 00:49:17,903
And I love you!

731
00:49:17,903 --> 00:49:20,013
Elsie, tell us where to find you.

732
00:49:21,513 --> 00:49:27,843
Right now on Instagram, just chat with
Chelsi with an I. Um, you know, as this

733
00:49:27,863 --> 00:49:34,373
pageant era of my life comes to a close,
it will be, you know, I have a couple

734
00:49:34,373 --> 00:49:39,813
of ideas where I'm wanting to take
things, but I'm, I'm passionate about.

735
00:49:40,473 --> 00:49:43,573
living authentically and
showing up authentically and

736
00:49:43,573 --> 00:49:45,743
having hard real conversations.

737
00:49:45,743 --> 00:49:53,013
So come over and join me over there and
continue having the real conversations,

738
00:49:53,043 --> 00:49:55,393
um, and calling things out as they are.

739
00:49:55,793 --> 00:49:57,153
I'd like to do that too.

740
00:49:57,833 --> 00:49:59,903
Um, yes, ma'am.

741
00:50:00,753 --> 00:50:02,113
So yeah, they can find me there.

742
00:50:03,143 --> 00:50:04,223
Thank you so much.

743
00:50:04,263 --> 00:50:08,973
Man, K, um, I'm trying to
remember how I end these things.

744
00:50:08,973 --> 00:50:12,433
Usually it's something along the
lines of take care of yourself.

745
00:50:12,443 --> 00:50:13,893
It's a crazy world out there.

746
00:50:14,243 --> 00:50:14,713
Yeah.

747
00:50:15,213 --> 00:50:16,783
Thanks, Amanda, for having me.

748
00:50:17,223 --> 00:50:18,023
I love you so much.

749
00:50:18,653 --> 00:50:19,383
You're the best.