Reclaiming Identity: A Journey Through Purity Culture and Healing

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Welcome to the inner workings
of the not so genius mind.

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I'm Amanda McCombs, the Not So
Genius, and your Mrs. Daybreak.

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This season here I have my Sash sister.

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Kaylyn Lippert.

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She's wa Mrs. Wasatch Front.

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Um, she's an rn.

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What else?

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Military wife.

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Her husband's in the Air Force.

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All kinds of good things.

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She's just a really good friend of
mine and I think she is probably one

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of the first friends that I actually.

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Made in the pageant and I feel like
you were my little cheerleader.

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I just, the whole time I kept trying
to like go through the whole process.

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I have kaylyn's, cute little
voice in the back of my head

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telling me to be confident.

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Like that was the thing you just kept
telling me over and over and over again,

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through rehearsals and everything else.

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Just do it.

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Be confident, like be yourself.

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Just do it.

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Yes.

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And you know, something is to be said
when I tell other people those things,

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it's because I need it myself too.

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Then it helps everyone all around and
you're one of my dearest friends from

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the pageant and I just love you, Amanda.

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And yeah, I'm Kaylin.

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I am Mrs. Wasatch Front and then Mrs.
Utah America slash American Pageant.

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I am a registered nurse.

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I'm a military spouse.

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Um.

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All kinds of things.

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I am the founder of Reclaimed, which
is a ministry that's near and dear

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to my heart, and I'm excited to
be hanging out with you, Amanda.

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You know I love you.

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I love you too.

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Please tell us more about Reclaimed
because Ooh, yes, I be watching.

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I've been watching on social media,
media and listening and following along,

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but maybe for some of my listeners
that don't know, tell us more about it.

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Reclaimed comes from this idea to
retrieve or recover something that was

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previously lost, and I think a lot of
us can relate to reclaiming or needing

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to reclaim something in our lives.

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For me, it was when I got married,
realizing the detriment that

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purity culture taught on my life.

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I grew up in the
Southeast in Alabama, and.

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The culture surrounding women's
health, your body intimacy,

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purity, all of these things.

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Sorry, all of these things.

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The, the culture was kind of like,
don't ask, don't tell, just don't do it.

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You need to save yourself, but
we're not gonna explain why.

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Mm-hmm.

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And that, that, that's in
relationships, that's in as things

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as simple as your menstrual cycle.

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So many different avenues
that that goes down.

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And I didn't realize how much
of an effect that would have.

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Not on just my mind, um, but
my body and my spirit too.

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And so I, so I get married to the
love of my life, Cody, and we.

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We did save ourselves for that and we
were really looking forward because

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we did it, um, in what we think is
God's way, but expectations were not

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met very quickly and we realized that,
that things were seriously wrong.

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Um, just in terms of, of
pain and of of my health.

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So I actually got diagnosed with
a condition called Vaginismus,

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which is kind of like a mind-body
connection when it comes to intimacy.

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And because of the way that I grew up,
um, thinking it was unholy and dirty

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to understand your body in that way, it
actually created a legitimate physical

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disorder that made things painful and.

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Quite literally impossible.

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And that played a huge
toll in my mental health.

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It played a huge toll on our relationship
having to go through that journey.

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And I think it's a journey that's a
little, it's, it's gonna, I think,

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be a lifelong journey, honestly.

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Um, and something that we continue
to revisit throughout our marriage.

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But as, as I'm trying to find freedom
and restoration through this process

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and, and, you know, us try to redeem this
part of our marriage, it, it wasn't easy.

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And I was scrolling through a
Pinterest, just on Pinterest, you

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know, I look there for nail ideas.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, hair stuff, you know, all,
all the things that, that girls

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like Pinterest for recipes.

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Yeah.

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And I came across this quote.

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It kind of stopped me in my tracks and
I feel like the Holy Spirit slapped

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me in the face with it and it said,
your ministry is found where you've

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been broken and your testimony is
found where you've been restored.

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Ooh.

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It just like, hold on, say it one more

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time.

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Yes.

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Your ministry is found where you've
been broken and your testimony is found

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where you've been restored, meaning
God is going to use that story that

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broke you and change it into a story
of restoration because that's who he

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is and that's what he does, and he's
going to restore you and through that

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you are going to help other people
that are going through the same thing.

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Not that he makes you go through
bad things, but because of the

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crazy broken world that we live in.

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Yeah.

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Crappy things happen
even if you're doing it.

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In the way you think.

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You're just supposed to all
doing all the right things.

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And that's what made us so me
and my husband angry for so long.

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'cause we were like, you know, God,
we did everything the right way.

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We waited, like, why are we
going through such a hard thing

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this early in our marriage and
now we have a new perspective?

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Like, what did you do wrong?

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It kind of, it kind of did.

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Yeah.

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It kind of did.

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And that's something that, that we
really struggled with for a while

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and that we had to get counseling and
prayer about, you know, and, and now

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we realize like it wasn't a punishment
and it sucks and, and we might not ever

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understand why we went through that.

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Yeah.

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But as we have gone through
this journey and as we have

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begun to find healing, physical,
mental, emotional, and spiritual.

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We are seeing where God is
using us to help other people.

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And that, that quote that I saw is
what sparked that in me, and it set

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me on this path of figuring out how to
help other couples, other marriages,

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but also other women in the wives.

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And maybe just single women
dating women, engaged women,

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married women, any women, right.

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Any woman who maybe puts their identity
in, in something that is happening

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to them or has happened to them.

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And helping flip the script on that.

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Helping marriages and and
relationships find freedom.

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Mm-hmm.

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And.

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My God size dream is to create lasting
cultural transformation by demolishing

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the detriment of purity culture in our
nation and what people think purity is.

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Um, helping people to see the true
meaning of sexuality and intimacy,

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the way that, that it was intended.

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Not just because there's rules,
but because in my opinion, God

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has these things in place because
he knows that that way is going

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to create more happiness for us.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, it's going to sustain us more
and it's just all around better.

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But religion, not God, but
religion has thwarted that so much.

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We think that's what God thinks
and that we're just supposed to

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be miserable all of our lives.

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And that is not what he
has intended for us at all.

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God's plan for our lives is so much better
and more enjoyable than we could ever

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imagine, but we've got to give him and not
religion a chance, if that makes sense.

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And that's my goal with all of this,
using my nursing degree, um, having a

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huge interest in women's health because
of my experiences, but also using mine

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and Cody's story to provide hope and
inspiration to other couples experiencing

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the same thing and giving them a safe
place to have these open conversations

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and to find hope in their situation.

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What do you think has been
something that's really helped

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you and Cody navigate this

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the

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best

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way?

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Community.

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Community is one of the biggest things.

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At first, when I, when we started
this journey, I thought I was like the

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only person to ever go through this.

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I even had, I went to pelvic floor
physical therapy, which God bless all

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of my pelvic floor physical therapists.

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They were all so amazing.

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But something that one of my first
physical therapists said, she,

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she looked at me with like, with
like, pity, and she was like,

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you're not supposed to be in here.

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Like, usually the people I care for
are either postpartum or like older.

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You're 19.

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Like, like, I feel so bad
that you have to be here.

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You know?

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Mm-hmm.

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And while I appreciated that, it also,
it, it did make me feel isolated.

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Yeah.

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You know, like, oh, I'm the youngest
person to ever go through this, or.

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The lies that the world and that
Satan tells us is gonna, they, the

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goal is to make you feel isolated
and alone because we're meant for

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community, we're meant for friendships,
we're meant for relationships.

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And so finding, at first it was
just a couple of family members

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that we trusted with the story.

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Um, then I started a small group in
my church for military spouses and,

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um, members of the military, um,
in our community that are female.

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And that provided me
another sense of community.

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Then pageantry provided me a sense of
community, and through that I was able

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to get outside of myself and my own
pity and my own wallow, and then God

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teaching me how to then outreach to
others, going through similar experiences.

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And it provides as much healing for me as
it does for the people that I'm serving.

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That

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is so powerful.

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Holy smokes.

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Here.

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I love you.

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I love you.

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I appreciate you so much.

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You're so open and honest and you're
just, you're such a light in my life and

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like you and I believe to not totally
different things, but like you and I have

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chatted a lot because we've developed
this friendship thanks to budget.

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Right.

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But you know, I have like a
contentious relationship with

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religion and with like Right.

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I'm navigating and trying
to figure out what I really

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believe again because mm-hmm.

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Pure part of it was purity culture
was super damaging in my life too.

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Yes.

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In rent way.

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Mm-hmm.

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Um, it was more like, so I was raped and
sexually assaulted and I've been stalked

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and all kinds of things, and they talk
a lot about how you're like chewed gum.

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Nobody's gonna want you after that.

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And that wa Yeah.

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It was like, what were you wearing?

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And things like that.

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And instead of having a community
that was like my village that

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would come and help me and take
care of me and nurture me a child.

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Right?

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Right.

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They turned against me
because I was sinning.

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I wasn't doing it God's way.

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I had a baby out of wedlock.

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Right.

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And so instead of having a
community, I was isolated.

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And I think we have created, just overall,
especially as women, um, we've tried to

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create a society where you don't need a
village and where you can look at each

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other and like judge each other and
that's not what it's supposed to be.

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And you're a huge testament, right?

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'cause like, even though I ha I'm
like, I don't what I believe anymore.

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You love me just the same.

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And you are, you don't shove things
down my throat and you're not like,

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you don't force it on me.

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And I love our Marcos, even though
we were talking before this.

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'cause my favorite thing to get is a
Marco from you asking how you can pray for

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me that week or what you can do for me.

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Like, even though that's, I don't
pray, right, I meditate, I do whatever.

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It's still a connection to some,
it's like this mind, body, soul

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connection that I'm tr that I'm mm-hmm.

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Trying.

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Right.

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And you are right because we're all

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made for it.

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Yeah.

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Yeah.

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So your mind, your mind, body, soul,
spirituality, your spirit connection,

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um, just the damage that was done
with purity culture is blocking that.

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And it's hard to make the connection
'cause like we weren't taught.

239
00:13:59,615 --> 00:14:04,925
That the right things were
important and we weren't taught

240
00:14:04,925 --> 00:14:06,845
about how our bodies worked.

241
00:14:06,905 --> 00:14:09,275
Like it just was what it was.

242
00:14:09,845 --> 00:14:10,205
Yeah.

243
00:14:10,355 --> 00:14:17,495
You had to just accept the pain and I
can imagine like any other couple that

244
00:14:17,495 --> 00:14:23,855
would go through what you went through and
trying to figure, like having that pain

245
00:14:23,885 --> 00:14:28,745
and being alone and feeling isolated and
shutting down can really drive you apart.

246
00:14:28,775 --> 00:14:35,555
And I'm just, I love that it, you
two are communicating and not, it was

247
00:14:35,555 --> 00:14:36,185
really hard.

248
00:14:36,185 --> 00:14:37,085
We had to, it's

249
00:14:37,325 --> 00:14:37,715
hard.

250
00:14:37,715 --> 00:14:38,255
Yeah.

251
00:14:38,255 --> 00:14:38,256
Yeah.

252
00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:42,095
We had to learn that and
it took a little while.

253
00:14:42,545 --> 00:14:42,665
Yeah.

254
00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:47,735
And we had honestly that something
like that, it only, you can't

255
00:14:47,735 --> 00:14:49,205
help but it create resentment.

256
00:14:49,655 --> 00:14:50,075
Yeah.

257
00:14:50,105 --> 00:14:51,515
For each other, within each other.

258
00:14:51,515 --> 00:14:56,555
And being quite candid here, we almost,
our marriage almost didn't survive it.

259
00:14:57,095 --> 00:14:59,194
We were 19 and 20 years old, and
I thought we were gonna be another

260
00:14:59,194 --> 00:15:02,615
statistic, and I thought everyone in
my family was gonna say I told you so.

261
00:15:02,975 --> 00:15:03,095
Yeah.

262
00:15:03,125 --> 00:15:07,535
And that's, so we thought that,
you know, this wasn't gonna work.

263
00:15:07,835 --> 00:15:13,564
And thank God that we had people
around us, um, that we, that we sought

264
00:15:13,595 --> 00:15:15,995
out as much community as we could.

265
00:15:15,995 --> 00:15:17,885
Just imagine all of this going on.

266
00:15:17,885 --> 00:15:21,125
But you also just moved 2000 miles
away from everyone you knew and loved.

267
00:15:21,395 --> 00:15:22,175
Oh, I,

268
00:15:22,175 --> 00:15:23,645
and it's in the middle of Covid?

269
00:15:24,095 --> 00:15:24,305
Yes.

270
00:15:25,085 --> 00:15:25,415
Oh my gosh.

271
00:15:25,415 --> 00:15:26,015
2021.

272
00:15:26,555 --> 00:15:29,074
And there's no base resources right now.

273
00:15:29,345 --> 00:15:32,045
And you're in nursing school.

274
00:15:32,705 --> 00:15:36,215
There was so many things working
against, and, and I personally can

275
00:15:36,215 --> 00:15:40,145
only say that it is God and the
prayers of our family and our friends

276
00:15:40,145 --> 00:15:41,945
that got us through that season.

277
00:15:42,425 --> 00:15:47,045
And I mean, we still have obviously,
like any other couple have our fair

278
00:15:47,045 --> 00:15:51,065
share of struggles and a lot of it
is still related to this journey.

279
00:15:51,485 --> 00:15:51,605
Yeah.

280
00:15:51,635 --> 00:15:57,395
Because although thank God that the
physical pain has much, much, much

281
00:15:57,395 --> 00:16:03,095
lessened, there is such a damage that
that does to your mind and, and that

282
00:16:03,095 --> 00:16:05,015
kind of affects your hormones too.

283
00:16:05,345 --> 00:16:05,435
Oh yeah.

284
00:16:05,435 --> 00:16:10,235
And so that's, and and honestly like
today has kind of been the day that I've

285
00:16:10,235 --> 00:16:14,675
realized that talking with family and
talking with doctors that I know and

286
00:16:14,675 --> 00:16:19,445
things like that, that that's my next step
that I'm gonna be going on is figuring

287
00:16:19,445 --> 00:16:23,945
out like, is there something wrong with
my hormones or do I just have PTSD?

288
00:16:24,425 --> 00:16:24,875
Yeah.

289
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:25,595
You know, oh my

290
00:16:25,595 --> 00:16:25,865
goodness.

291
00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:28,115
Like that is a form of PTSD.

292
00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:30,665
And it's hard.

293
00:16:30,875 --> 00:16:34,535
And that still leaves both
me and my husband with unmet

294
00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:39,185
expectations and dissatisfaction
that we've got to work through.

295
00:16:39,305 --> 00:16:42,035
And so it feels like our
marriage has been so much work.

296
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:46,505
However, we are closer in a lot
more understanding of each other

297
00:16:46,505 --> 00:16:48,935
than a lot of marriages our age.

298
00:16:49,145 --> 00:16:53,645
Because of everything that we've been
through, we have had to mature and grow

299
00:16:53,645 --> 00:16:58,444
in that way quickly, or we would've lost
our marriage and our love for each other.

300
00:16:59,225 --> 00:17:00,485
That's so hard.

301
00:17:00,485 --> 00:17:03,605
And you, how long have
you been married again?

302
00:17:04,625 --> 00:17:06,155
We almost four years.

303
00:17:06,275 --> 00:17:07,025
Almost four years.

304
00:17:07,025 --> 00:17:09,454
And they just went on their honeymoon?

305
00:17:10,475 --> 00:17:11,885
Yes, we did.

306
00:17:12,245 --> 00:17:12,515
Oh, goodness.

307
00:17:13,685 --> 00:17:14,105
Yes.

308
00:17:14,525 --> 00:17:18,485
That's another thing with military life,
you're gonna have to wait, but the weight

309
00:17:18,785 --> 00:17:21,185
is usually worth it, so it was worth it.

310
00:17:21,605 --> 00:17:23,825
Yeah, I loved all the pictures.

311
00:17:23,825 --> 00:17:28,955
You just, I, well, and then you flew
back and then showed up at our mock

312
00:17:28,955 --> 00:17:33,755
interview and you, I was kind of
shocked to see you there 'cause I

313
00:17:33,755 --> 00:17:36,965
knew you were just barely coming back
and I was like, there's no way Yeah.

314
00:17:37,085 --> 00:17:40,385
Standing because that's not a short drive.

315
00:17:40,445 --> 00:17:42,035
That's not a teeny little drive.

316
00:17:42,725 --> 00:17:42,935
Um, no.

317
00:17:42,935 --> 00:17:47,195
Thankfully, thankfully Abby, um,
Mrs. Rocky Mountain drove us.

318
00:17:47,855 --> 00:17:50,915
I'm so thankful because I don't know
if I would've been able to drive back.

319
00:17:50,945 --> 00:17:51,965
I was so tired.

320
00:17:52,715 --> 00:17:53,075
Oh,

321
00:17:53,075 --> 00:17:53,405
I love her.

322
00:17:53,405 --> 00:17:56,405
But it was, it was, I, I love her so much.

323
00:17:56,465 --> 00:17:59,195
She's such a light and she's such
an amazing friend and mentor to me.

324
00:17:59,675 --> 00:18:01,925
Um, she's, she's a beautiful soul.

325
00:18:02,180 --> 00:18:02,680
She really is.

326
00:18:03,095 --> 00:18:04,445
She just radiates.

327
00:18:04,685 --> 00:18:10,505
She does, she radiates love
and light and, and confidence

328
00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:11,825
rooted in all the right things.

329
00:18:12,695 --> 00:18:14,045
Um, yeah.

330
00:18:15,695 --> 00:18:19,745
I'm so happy you guys finally got to
go on your honeymoon and then last

331
00:18:19,745 --> 00:18:22,265
season you were Mrs. Wasatch front.

332
00:18:22,265 --> 00:18:23,555
We were standing by each other.

333
00:18:23,555 --> 00:18:25,505
You were just like, you
were like my little buddy.

334
00:18:25,535 --> 00:18:27,290
Like even just we were buddies.

335
00:18:27,545 --> 00:18:28,355
Your leader.

336
00:18:28,355 --> 00:18:32,765
You were like, uh, you just,
you were a light for me.

337
00:18:33,095 --> 00:18:33,485
I think.

338
00:18:33,485 --> 00:18:36,605
Clarissa Thomas, Mrs. Utah County.

339
00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:41,585
She talks about like a bright thread
in the, in a tapestry of life.

340
00:18:41,645 --> 00:18:45,395
And you just, you're totally one
of those and you're, oh, thank you.

341
00:18:45,395 --> 00:18:46,775
You're very comforting.

342
00:18:46,775 --> 00:18:48,155
I love having you around.

343
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:50,375
Um, where was I gonna go with that?

344
00:18:50,435 --> 00:18:51,005
I don't know.

345
00:18:51,065 --> 00:18:53,495
I just started rambling
about how amazing you are.

346
00:18:55,265 --> 00:18:55,985
You're too sweet.

347
00:18:56,525 --> 00:18:59,495
Um, we were talking about,
oh, standing beside me.

348
00:19:01,985 --> 00:19:04,115
You had just came back
from the pageant anyway.

349
00:19:04,835 --> 00:19:06,995
Oh no, that's what I was gonna say.

350
00:19:07,475 --> 00:19:11,315
You, your husband was
deployed last season.

351
00:19:12,275 --> 00:19:12,875
Yes.

352
00:19:13,760 --> 00:19:15,080
So it was like

353
00:19:17,090 --> 00:19:20,240
you were kind of, you were going
through this as a misses, but at

354
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:24,290
the same time, like your husband
was kind of far away and it was

355
00:19:24,290 --> 00:19:24,980
very far away.

356
00:19:25,190 --> 00:19:26,090
A little lonely.

357
00:19:26,930 --> 00:19:28,460
It was, it was.

358
00:19:28,460 --> 00:19:32,565
But that was the importance of
community and that's what I hope huge

359
00:19:32,785 --> 00:19:38,870
so many women can see is such a huge
advantage of being involved in pageants.

360
00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:43,160
Um, it's not just a beauty contest
where we're competing against each

361
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:44,330
other, we're competing with each other.

362
00:19:44,330 --> 00:19:46,760
We all have the same goal in
mind, but we're all cheering each

363
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:51,830
other on along the way, especially
with our, um, organization.

364
00:19:52,100 --> 00:19:53,810
Yeah, especially with ours.

365
00:19:54,050 --> 00:19:57,200
I remember standing next to you,
and as each person was called,

366
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:58,070
both of us were like, yay.

367
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:04,190
Because it really is a celebration
of how incredible each and every.

368
00:20:04,835 --> 00:20:09,125
Single one of these women are, because
it's a refining process and you

369
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:12,095
really have to figure out absolutely
who you are and what you stand for.

370
00:20:12,125 --> 00:20:16,685
'cause when we go and we talk
to the judges, we only have so

371
00:20:16,685 --> 00:20:18,725
much time with each one of them.

372
00:20:19,235 --> 00:20:19,565
Right.

373
00:20:19,565 --> 00:20:20,885
Less than five minutes.

374
00:20:21,005 --> 00:20:21,695
Right.

375
00:20:21,995 --> 00:20:24,005
And then they have to make a decision.

376
00:20:24,755 --> 00:20:26,855
And that's like half
our score right there.

377
00:20:27,485 --> 00:20:27,815
Yeah.

378
00:20:28,295 --> 00:20:30,305
I was talking with my
stepmom about it last night.

379
00:20:30,305 --> 00:20:36,335
I was trying on, on my wardrobe and I was,
I was on the phone with my stepmom and we

380
00:20:36,335 --> 00:20:40,835
were talking about it and she was like,
you know, just on the stage in the, in

381
00:20:40,835 --> 00:20:45,815
the just like stage presence, beauty and
things like only five out of the top 10

382
00:20:45,815 --> 00:20:47,285
that were there is what I would've chosen.

383
00:20:47,285 --> 00:20:48,155
And I said, well.

384
00:20:48,740 --> 00:20:52,130
You don't know how that on step, you don't
know how that personal interview went.

385
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:56,540
It's really about, it's not about what you
look like, it's about who you are mm-hmm.

386
00:20:56,780 --> 00:20:59,330
And what you bring, um, to the community.

387
00:20:59,330 --> 00:21:02,900
And we all have such amazing
things to bring and it's, it's

388
00:21:02,900 --> 00:21:07,460
such a subjective thing too, that
you cannot take it personally.

389
00:21:07,730 --> 00:21:08,120
Yeah.

390
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,640
I love, but it's hard not

391
00:21:10,640 --> 00:21:10,880
to.

392
00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:11,630
I love that.

393
00:21:11,630 --> 00:21:22,580
Um, with our organization, specifically
with Mrs. Utah, um, we, it kind of

394
00:21:22,610 --> 00:21:27,205
helps connect us to our community.

395
00:21:27,545 --> 00:21:28,470
Yes, yes.

396
00:21:28,475 --> 00:21:30,905
And we can take and do
with it whatever we want.

397
00:21:31,265 --> 00:21:34,655
Um, but it's opened up a lot of
opportunity for me personally

398
00:21:34,655 --> 00:21:40,055
to be able to like, um, I just
barely started a nonprofit.

399
00:21:40,085 --> 00:21:43,745
I'm in the middle of like, doing
all the tech stuff for it right now.

400
00:21:43,745 --> 00:21:44,495
So it's like, wow.

401
00:21:44,495 --> 00:21:49,535
The LLC and it's gonna be to help
connect other nonprofits together.

402
00:21:49,535 --> 00:21:53,225
And I actually have a healing,
it's called the Wellness Farm.

403
00:21:53,645 --> 00:22:00,245
I'm gonna, I am on their advisory
board and it's therapy on a farm.

404
00:22:01,565 --> 00:22:02,465
I love that.

405
00:22:02,525 --> 00:22:07,325
Like yoga therapy, group
therapy, individual therapy.

406
00:22:07,355 --> 00:22:12,965
Once a month they have a themed group
therapy session, and they have like

407
00:22:12,965 --> 00:22:15,905
a 600 pound pig and a blind dog.

408
00:22:15,905 --> 00:22:21,185
And all the, just, you go
there and you feel grounded.

409
00:22:21,995 --> 00:22:23,945
Yeah, like driving up to the property.

410
00:22:24,185 --> 00:22:26,315
So without the pageant.

411
00:22:26,720 --> 00:22:30,590
I wouldn't be able to go through the
refining process that I went through

412
00:22:30,590 --> 00:22:32,720
to be able to get to that place.

413
00:22:32,750 --> 00:22:35,090
'cause that's really where
I feel like I need to be.

414
00:22:35,870 --> 00:22:37,040
Right, right.

415
00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:41,180
And, and again, talking with my
stepmom about this last night,

416
00:22:42,020 --> 00:22:45,620
regardless of if you receive the crown
or not, like receiving the crown,

417
00:22:45,620 --> 00:22:49,220
I think is, I mean, is everyone's
goal or they wouldn't be doing it.

418
00:22:49,550 --> 00:22:55,730
But more than that, it opens up so
many door of doors of opportunity.

419
00:22:55,790 --> 00:23:00,620
And like you said, as you refine,
as you're understanding what you

420
00:23:00,620 --> 00:23:06,560
stand for, what your callings in life
are, how you want to help others,

421
00:23:06,620 --> 00:23:11,690
and watching those doors open, like
that's what it's about and that's

422
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:12,860
what you're gaining along the way.

423
00:23:12,860 --> 00:23:14,960
And that stuff doesn't
just last for a year.

424
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:17,150
Like a title and a crown and a sash does.

425
00:23:17,480 --> 00:23:17,840
Yeah.

426
00:23:17,900 --> 00:23:18,110
Yeah.

427
00:23:18,110 --> 00:23:19,580
The title and the crown
and the sash is fun.

428
00:23:19,580 --> 00:23:22,160
And it also opens doors
of opportunity, but.

429
00:23:23,075 --> 00:23:28,175
God's gonna use all of, all of
your journey to grow you and to,

430
00:23:28,205 --> 00:23:31,295
to open doors of opportunity for
you to impact others as well.

431
00:23:31,310 --> 00:23:31,600
Yeah.

432
00:23:31,605 --> 00:23:35,465
And I think that's the beauty
of pageantry and and of the Mrs.

433
00:23:35,465 --> 00:23:37,685
America, and namely the Mrs.

434
00:23:37,685 --> 00:23:39,485
Utah organization Yeah.

435
00:23:39,875 --> 00:23:42,695
Is that we all cheer each other on
in that and we have such a great

436
00:23:42,695 --> 00:23:44,165
sense of community and support.

437
00:23:44,675 --> 00:23:46,865
Well, and the women keep coming back

438
00:23:46,865 --> 00:23:48,905
season after season
even if they don't win.

439
00:23:48,995 --> 00:23:49,145
Yeah.

440
00:23:49,865 --> 00:23:50,195
Right.

441
00:23:50,195 --> 00:23:51,740
And that's, that shows
we support each other.

442
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:52,860
Mm-hmm.

443
00:23:54,050 --> 00:23:54,500
That shows

444
00:23:54,635 --> 00:23:58,625
about, and even for those who go to
other organizations for a year or

445
00:23:58,625 --> 00:24:00,575
whatever, like, we support them too.

446
00:24:00,845 --> 00:24:00,995
Yeah.

447
00:24:01,090 --> 00:24:03,875
It's not about the titles that we hold.

448
00:24:03,875 --> 00:24:07,625
And that's something that, it's probably
one of the biggest lessons I've learned

449
00:24:07,625 --> 00:24:12,275
through pageantry, and it's been huge
in my own life, that like you cannot

450
00:24:12,935 --> 00:24:17,165
identify yourself by the titles that
you hold in the labels that are on you.

451
00:24:17,195 --> 00:24:20,254
You are, you were
identified by who you are.

452
00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,730
Those labels are your, are your like
assignments in which to do that?

453
00:24:26,390 --> 00:24:26,780
Yes.

454
00:24:26,780 --> 00:24:32,720
Is how I like to see it and it
has helped me so much not allow

455
00:24:32,720 --> 00:24:37,010
my circumstances or what others
think of me to define who I am.

456
00:24:37,670 --> 00:24:38,450
I love that

457
00:24:39,950 --> 00:24:44,900
And it like propels you on
this self-discovery journey to

458
00:24:44,900 --> 00:24:46,850
figure out what you stand for

459
00:24:47,570 --> 00:24:47,900
Yeah.

460
00:24:47,900 --> 00:24:51,110
And what you're on this earth
to do and that can change too.

461
00:24:51,560 --> 00:24:51,860
Yeah.

462
00:24:51,980 --> 00:24:55,910
And those things are, are always an
ever evolving through the experiences

463
00:24:55,910 --> 00:24:58,010
that we have and that's also Okay.

464
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,420
And your experience in it
can be whatever you make it.

465
00:25:02,425 --> 00:25:02,615
Yes.

466
00:25:02,630 --> 00:25:06,950
Like I've had a lot of people that
ask me, what do you have to do?

467
00:25:08,075 --> 00:25:10,865
With your title, like with your
sash, and really, you don't

468
00:25:10,865 --> 00:25:13,325
really have to do anything.

469
00:25:13,325 --> 00:25:14,495
Like you can just Nope.

470
00:25:14,495 --> 00:25:15,875
Show up for the pageant.

471
00:25:15,875 --> 00:25:16,265
Right.

472
00:25:16,565 --> 00:25:20,735
And like, you have to do your interview
and things, but outside of that, like

473
00:25:20,765 --> 00:25:29,015
all the community things and creating
your platform reclaimed, like yeah.

474
00:25:29,015 --> 00:25:34,385
Whatever you wanna do with that, you can,
it's not, it's not a requirement to Right.

475
00:25:34,565 --> 00:25:38,465
Big, huge event or create
a brand or do this or that.

476
00:25:38,465 --> 00:25:38,555
Mm-hmm.

477
00:25:38,555 --> 00:25:39,845
None of that is required.

478
00:25:39,845 --> 00:25:42,065
Your whole experience is what you make it.

479
00:25:42,155 --> 00:25:49,835
And for us, it's been just a,
it's propelled us to healing

480
00:25:50,975 --> 00:25:53,405
that it's, that's exactly what it's done.

481
00:25:53,795 --> 00:26:01,730
It's propelled us to healing and then also
helped us learn how to help others Yeah.

482
00:26:01,730 --> 00:26:03,635
And help others through
that healing process too.

483
00:26:03,635 --> 00:26:06,815
And as, as those other people are,
are finding healing from things.

484
00:26:07,610 --> 00:26:08,300
I am too.

485
00:26:08,659 --> 00:26:12,440
And as I'm making my videos for social
media, I'm finding healing and God

486
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:14,870
is speaking to me as I'm talking
and I'm like, oh, that was good.

487
00:26:14,870 --> 00:26:17,180
I need to think about
that and live by that.

488
00:26:17,180 --> 00:26:17,750
Like, right.

489
00:26:17,870 --> 00:26:19,100
It happens all the time.

490
00:26:19,490 --> 00:26:23,300
But that's, that's a huge misconception
that I believe just that I had to

491
00:26:23,300 --> 00:26:27,800
have it all figured out or I won't be
equipped to do this, but like, you're

492
00:26:27,800 --> 00:26:29,510
not gonna be equipped before the calling.

493
00:26:29,510 --> 00:26:33,649
You're called and, and then
you're equipped as you're going

494
00:26:33,649 --> 00:26:35,270
through it and helping others.

495
00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:36,590
Um,

496
00:26:36,590 --> 00:26:38,180
it kind just step out in faith and do it.

497
00:26:39,050 --> 00:26:43,399
Not to like be too cliche, but
have you heard the building a

498
00:26:43,399 --> 00:26:45,800
plane as you fly it analogy?

499
00:26:47,065 --> 00:26:48,465
I kind of, you haven't
heard it in a long time.

500
00:26:49,004 --> 00:26:52,550
It kind of feels like that in a way.

501
00:26:53,149 --> 00:26:53,212
Yeah, it does.

502
00:26:53,212 --> 00:26:56,600
But it's, it does, like as
you're flying, you are finding

503
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:57,980
things that aren't working right.

504
00:26:57,980 --> 00:27:00,350
So you just gotta fix it
and how can you fix it?

505
00:27:00,350 --> 00:27:00,440
Mm-hmm.

506
00:27:00,680 --> 00:27:01,305
So you can fly right.

507
00:27:02,420 --> 00:27:05,570
And there's so many times I'm like,
oh, me and my husband are like going

508
00:27:05,570 --> 00:27:09,260
through this rough spot, or, oh,
we're having to navigate through this.

509
00:27:09,260 --> 00:27:13,730
I'm like, well, how, who am I to
be telling other people what to do?

510
00:27:14,060 --> 00:27:17,600
But it's like through our experiences
and what we're finding, and maybe I'm

511
00:27:17,600 --> 00:27:21,560
researching for other people and then
I'm like, oh, maybe we should try that.

512
00:27:21,860 --> 00:27:25,400
You know, there's so many things like
that we are growing from, so I can't

513
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:29,780
compare, like, oh, first can't compare.

514
00:27:29,780 --> 00:27:32,480
Stories can't compare to other
people and what they're doing.

515
00:27:32,900 --> 00:27:34,790
You just have to stay
focused on your mission.

516
00:27:35,330 --> 00:27:35,630
Yeah.

517
00:27:35,630 --> 00:27:39,620
And I'm finding healing as I am
living out that mission, which

518
00:27:39,620 --> 00:27:40,940
has been a beautiful thing.

519
00:27:41,570 --> 00:27:42,740
That's so, you

520
00:27:42,740 --> 00:27:44,810
are just, you're such a good person.

521
00:27:47,060 --> 00:27:47,510
I love you.

522
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:49,970
Um, you just really helped me.

523
00:27:50,660 --> 00:27:53,240
Like you just kept telling
me, be confident and I.

524
00:27:53,795 --> 00:27:56,525
You were life changing for me.

525
00:27:56,765 --> 00:28:00,065
I'm so thankful I to stand next
to you for that little bit.

526
00:28:01,235 --> 00:28:01,955
Yes, I know.

527
00:28:01,955 --> 00:28:05,435
I, we need to make sure we're
on the same side this year.

528
00:28:05,645 --> 00:28:05,705
Yeah.

529
00:28:05,705 --> 00:28:09,155
We'll have to talk to Di and,
no, not di, it'd be Alicia.

530
00:28:09,335 --> 00:28:09,845
Alicia.

531
00:28:09,845 --> 00:28:10,145
Yes.

532
00:28:10,985 --> 00:28:11,405
We have to.

533
00:28:11,525 --> 00:28:12,335
Hopefully we are.

534
00:28:12,635 --> 00:28:16,355
And I'm so excited for, I think
she's supposed to send out what,

535
00:28:16,355 --> 00:28:17,795
opening number choreography today.

536
00:28:17,795 --> 00:28:18,725
And I'm like, send it.

537
00:28:18,725 --> 00:28:20,135
I'm gonna put all my outfits.

538
00:28:21,965 --> 00:28:28,205
Um, right after the pageant was done last
March, I was like, I wanna do it again.

539
00:28:29,660 --> 00:28:33,755
Like, and a lot of people
get let down when they don't.

540
00:28:33,785 --> 00:28:33,875
Mm-hmm.

541
00:28:34,115 --> 00:28:34,535
Crown.

542
00:28:34,535 --> 00:28:35,765
But I think like.

543
00:28:37,205 --> 00:28:42,965
Especially talking to you and kind of
learning, 'cause you were like, you

544
00:28:42,965 --> 00:28:46,235
kind of took me under your wing to
teach me about all the pageant things.

545
00:28:46,265 --> 00:28:47,225
'cause I hadn't, yeah.

546
00:28:47,555 --> 00:28:52,535
Before, um, you were showing me
the ropes, I had no idea what I was

547
00:28:52,535 --> 00:28:54,215
doing and I was so thankful for that.

548
00:28:54,215 --> 00:28:57,875
And I think a lot of people get like
the wrong idea when they think about

549
00:28:57,875 --> 00:29:02,405
pageants and they think that everyone's
trying to cut each other down or like

550
00:29:02,435 --> 00:29:04,145
they're sabotaging each other or whatever.

551
00:29:04,145 --> 00:29:06,725
But really we're ow, sorry.

552
00:29:06,755 --> 00:29:10,385
We're motivating each other and we're
helping each other and sharing things.

553
00:29:10,865 --> 00:29:12,185
And we're building each other up.

554
00:29:12,455 --> 00:29:15,905
We're building each other
up and we're not, we're not

555
00:29:15,905 --> 00:29:17,195
trying to undercut each other.

556
00:29:17,195 --> 00:29:20,075
And I haven't ever really
felt like it's a competition.

557
00:29:20,075 --> 00:29:21,935
I feel like it's a celebration.

558
00:29:22,535 --> 00:29:25,895
If you view it as a competition,
it's you that has the wrong mindset.

559
00:29:25,895 --> 00:29:27,575
And that's what I had the first year.

560
00:29:27,575 --> 00:29:31,415
I mean, granted, I had just turned 21,
I was in the middle of nursing school my

561
00:29:31,415 --> 00:29:33,215
first time ever doing a patent like this.

562
00:29:33,875 --> 00:29:34,445
And.

563
00:29:34,835 --> 00:29:38,675
I had a lot of, and I, and
I'll be honest, like I was real

564
00:29:38,675 --> 00:29:40,055
butt hurt after the first year.

565
00:29:40,115 --> 00:29:41,675
Did I deserve top 10?

566
00:29:41,765 --> 00:29:45,725
No, I didn't, but I didn't Under
You had top 10 your first year.

567
00:29:45,725 --> 00:29:46,535
No, I didn't.

568
00:29:46,535 --> 00:29:47,255
No I didn't.

569
00:29:47,255 --> 00:29:47,420
Oh, you didn't.

570
00:29:47,465 --> 00:29:51,065
But that's why I was upset and I
was like, oh, oh, you know, like I

571
00:29:51,065 --> 00:29:52,085
should have gotten in it, blah, blah.

572
00:29:52,295 --> 00:29:53,615
I had all the wrong mindsets.

573
00:29:53,615 --> 00:29:55,475
I didn't understand what this was about.

574
00:29:55,745 --> 00:29:55,925
Yeah.

575
00:29:56,435 --> 00:30:03,905
And you know, when I decided to come back,
when I got over myself, um, like I, I had

576
00:30:03,905 --> 00:30:08,555
had, so I had so much growth last year and
then again exponential growth this year.

577
00:30:08,915 --> 00:30:11,765
And I, and it's not even just been
in like my pageant life, it's been

578
00:30:11,765 --> 00:30:13,205
in my spiritual life and things too.

579
00:30:13,205 --> 00:30:16,715
And I would, a lot of that
is thanks to Abby as well.

580
00:30:16,715 --> 00:30:19,745
She has taken me under her
wing spiritually and she is.

581
00:30:20,105 --> 00:30:26,015
Mentored me and she has spoken life into
me, helped me understand so many things

582
00:30:26,015 --> 00:30:28,475
that that culture had taught me wrong.

583
00:30:29,015 --> 00:30:33,485
And I think because of all of that,
because that is the foundation, my faith

584
00:30:33,485 --> 00:30:37,745
is the foundation of my life, that in turn
there's so many other things that have

585
00:30:37,745 --> 00:30:40,025
blossomed and had fruit because of that.

586
00:30:40,205 --> 00:30:42,245
And so I'm so thankful to her for that.

587
00:30:42,515 --> 00:30:45,305
And it's been really cool also to go
on that, on this journey with her and

588
00:30:45,305 --> 00:30:47,105
teach her the ropes and these things.

589
00:30:47,555 --> 00:30:50,465
Um, it's so, I don't remember
where I was going with that,

590
00:30:50,615 --> 00:30:52,115
but she's just, she's lighting.

591
00:30:52,205 --> 00:30:54,995
She at the Gallant Times's party.

592
00:30:54,995 --> 00:30:55,655
It was just fun.

593
00:30:55,745 --> 00:30:57,545
I saw her with her lashes done.

594
00:30:57,815 --> 00:31:03,365
And I know people think like all this
superficial stuff is whatever, but, um,

595
00:31:05,765 --> 00:31:09,425
she is, it's out of her
comfort zone for sure.

596
00:31:09,425 --> 00:31:10,715
You can tell it's not her thing.

597
00:31:10,715 --> 00:31:12,155
It wasn't my thing last year.

598
00:31:12,155 --> 00:31:13,385
Last year was my first year.

599
00:31:13,385 --> 00:31:14,165
This is your third year?

600
00:31:14,165 --> 00:31:14,255
Mm-hmm.

601
00:31:15,755 --> 00:31:16,025
Yeah.

602
00:31:16,445 --> 00:31:17,075
Um.

603
00:31:18,080 --> 00:31:23,360
She's embracing it and she's
taking on the challenge and she is

604
00:31:23,360 --> 00:31:26,960
making kits for like, she's just,

605
00:31:27,170 --> 00:31:33,500
she's doing so much and she is, it's been
so cool to watch that and she, and it's

606
00:31:33,500 --> 00:31:35,630
been cool to watch her find healing too.

607
00:31:36,020 --> 00:31:36,500
Yeah.

608
00:31:36,770 --> 00:31:39,230
We're all finding, we're, that's
really what we're doing is we're all

609
00:31:39,230 --> 00:31:43,100
find finding healing as we're serving
others because our experiences is

610
00:31:43,100 --> 00:31:44,960
what's leading us to those ministries.

611
00:31:45,140 --> 00:31:45,440
Yeah.

612
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:51,380
Sharing our stories is helping us heal and
it's helping others know that they're not

613
00:31:51,380 --> 00:31:54,380
isolated and alone in their experiences.

614
00:31:54,860 --> 00:31:55,370
Right.

615
00:31:55,460 --> 00:32:00,560
Um, so I like the purity
culture thing with my family.

616
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:04,640
It was like, it's not
supposed to feel good.

617
00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:06,110
Right.

618
00:32:06,590 --> 00:32:10,370
You're on, like, you're only
supposed to do it to make a baby.

619
00:32:11,060 --> 00:32:11,300
Oh.

620
00:32:11,300 --> 00:32:11,870
Don't do it for

621
00:32:11,870 --> 00:32:12,830
any other reason.

622
00:32:13,220 --> 00:32:13,730
Right.

623
00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,900
Um, you should only do it if you're
married, if you do it outside of marriage.

624
00:32:18,380 --> 00:32:21,200
Um, that's awful.

625
00:32:21,260 --> 00:32:21,680
Right?

626
00:32:21,740 --> 00:32:26,090
I had a baby outta wedlock
and my mom just hated it.

627
00:32:26,090 --> 00:32:28,070
That was the worst thing
that I could have done.

628
00:32:28,670 --> 00:32:34,070
Um, and so there was a lot of

629
00:32:37,010 --> 00:32:41,420
just that mentality of like
being dirty and unworthy.

630
00:32:41,420 --> 00:32:41,480
Yeah.

631
00:32:41,600 --> 00:32:43,370
And nobody's gonna want me.

632
00:32:43,730 --> 00:32:46,940
And just what it does to your self-esteem.

633
00:32:47,510 --> 00:32:54,560
Um, my body took on all
kinds of traumas, right?

634
00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:55,040
Yeah.

635
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,380
I had to have a total, how old was I?

636
00:32:58,130 --> 00:33:00,710
34. I had to have a total hysterectomy.

637
00:33:02,014 --> 00:33:05,600
Yeah, I had polycystic ovarian syndrome.

638
00:33:06,050 --> 00:33:09,110
Adenomyosis and endometriosis.

639
00:33:09,560 --> 00:33:10,040
Gosh.

640
00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:14,360
And that was after, like, that was
my seventh laparoscopic surgery.

641
00:33:15,245 --> 00:33:15,465
Ugh,

642
00:33:16,639 --> 00:33:16,820
goodness.

643
00:33:16,820 --> 00:33:18,020
And finally took it out.

644
00:33:18,020 --> 00:33:22,129
But like, I already had kids,
I had a couple miscarriages and

645
00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,220
my body was just holding on.

646
00:33:25,220 --> 00:33:26,240
It was so heavy.

647
00:33:27,020 --> 00:33:27,560
Right.

648
00:33:28,310 --> 00:33:29,840
It was holding me back.

649
00:33:30,410 --> 00:33:35,750
And after I had that and started
going to therapy and healing like my

650
00:33:35,750 --> 00:33:44,210
spiritual self and my soul, then my body
is able to not be in fight or flight.

651
00:33:44,900 --> 00:33:44,989
Mm-hmm.

652
00:33:45,230 --> 00:33:48,620
And when it's got so much
adrenaline and is it cortisol?

653
00:33:48,620 --> 00:33:49,610
Is that the other one?

654
00:33:49,969 --> 00:33:50,060
Mm-hmm.

655
00:33:50,300 --> 00:33:56,449
Talking a bunch of science, medical
terms for my old CNA days, um, you

656
00:33:56,449 --> 00:33:58,580
can't heal if you're in that state.

657
00:33:58,580 --> 00:33:59,389
Mm-hmm.

658
00:34:00,485 --> 00:34:07,594
Fully kind of, um, but your energy is
being put into the wrong thing, so Right.

659
00:34:07,745 --> 00:34:13,205
Mindset shift and being able to
heal on the inside is also helping

660
00:34:13,205 --> 00:34:17,014
me radiate and heal on the outside.

661
00:34:17,554 --> 00:34:18,389
Yeah, exactly.

662
00:34:18,395 --> 00:34:18,634
Exactly.

663
00:34:19,730 --> 00:34:27,965
And, and when you were talking about the
dirty and things, like I, I do, um, I sh

664
00:34:27,995 --> 00:34:29,674
I shared some of those similar beliefs.

665
00:34:29,674 --> 00:34:38,045
It was more of, for me, it was like
I had, I had never really seen a

666
00:34:38,045 --> 00:34:43,775
super healthy, um, what's the word?

667
00:34:46,205 --> 00:34:50,645
Romantic marriage like I had never
seen what healthy romance looked like,

668
00:34:51,395 --> 00:34:55,505
because I feel like, you know, a couple
generations back, like you don't show

669
00:34:55,505 --> 00:34:57,485
it like in the public, like you don't.

670
00:34:57,860 --> 00:34:58,460
Do that.

671
00:34:58,880 --> 00:34:59,210
Yeah.

672
00:34:59,270 --> 00:35:02,360
And then, um, I'm a child of divorce.

673
00:35:02,420 --> 00:35:05,360
My parents also had me and my
twin sister out of wedlock.

674
00:35:05,420 --> 00:35:07,460
They were, um, in high school still.

675
00:35:07,940 --> 00:35:13,670
And so that obviously, like we didn't
see, they didn't work out very long

676
00:35:13,700 --> 00:35:15,950
because they were high schoolers.

677
00:35:15,950 --> 00:35:19,370
They, they were growing up, they were
not meant to be together, were babies.

678
00:35:19,850 --> 00:35:20,510
Right.

679
00:35:20,510 --> 00:35:22,040
Like they had two babies.

680
00:35:22,820 --> 00:35:24,230
They were 17 years old.

681
00:35:24,230 --> 00:35:26,240
You know, it's crazy to think about.

682
00:35:27,080 --> 00:35:31,730
And so that was very, that
was a dysfunctional dynamic.

683
00:35:31,850 --> 00:35:34,790
And, and I will say like I
have great relationship with

684
00:35:34,790 --> 00:35:35,870
all of my family members now.

685
00:35:36,020 --> 00:35:37,820
So family, I love you.

686
00:35:38,060 --> 00:35:41,570
It's not that, but they also are
aware of the dysfunction that

687
00:35:41,570 --> 00:35:42,890
was in our family at that time.

688
00:35:43,340 --> 00:35:43,610
Yeah.

689
00:35:44,090 --> 00:35:46,610
And, um, raised by our grandparents.

690
00:35:46,700 --> 00:35:49,280
Um, they were wonderful examples to us.

691
00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,050
I'm so thankful to be raised by them.

692
00:35:51,140 --> 00:35:55,400
But we didn't, you know, ever
see a healthy, romantic dynamic

693
00:35:55,490 --> 00:35:56,660
between husband and wife.

694
00:35:57,755 --> 00:36:00,155
So I think that's part of it.

695
00:36:00,875 --> 00:36:05,135
Um, and then part of the belief was,
you know that what purity culture says,

696
00:36:05,135 --> 00:36:08,855
there are so many different illustrations
that used to use like the rose, which

697
00:36:08,855 --> 00:36:11,705
I had a rose here, and they would
say, okay, here's your first partner.

698
00:36:11,795 --> 00:36:14,945
And they'd throw the pedal on
the ground and the next partner

699
00:36:14,975 --> 00:36:16,025
throw the pedal on the ground.

700
00:36:16,055 --> 00:36:19,325
Oh, the next partner, throw the pedal on
the ground till you have nothing left.

701
00:36:19,325 --> 00:36:21,155
And then they're like
stomping it under their feet.

702
00:36:21,155 --> 00:36:24,005
Not that I ever went through one of
these classes, but doing my research.

703
00:36:24,005 --> 00:36:27,395
This is literally what they did
in these classes to basically

704
00:36:27,395 --> 00:36:28,805
scare people into purity.

705
00:36:29,285 --> 00:36:29,525
Yep.

706
00:36:30,035 --> 00:36:34,775
Um, and they would say, this is your worth
now that you've had all of these partners.

707
00:36:35,105 --> 00:36:36,245
That's so, and.

708
00:36:37,055 --> 00:36:40,865
Actually my, my church that I watched
this morning, I, I watched my home

709
00:36:40,865 --> 00:36:45,545
church from back in Alabama and it was
about like the dating life and purity

710
00:36:45,545 --> 00:36:49,535
culture and things and dispelling it,
which I was like, what a perfect time

711
00:36:49,535 --> 00:36:51,395
for my church to be talking about that.

712
00:36:51,395 --> 00:36:53,225
How funny, you know?

713
00:36:53,615 --> 00:36:53,825
Yeah.

714
00:36:53,825 --> 00:36:56,585
And it, it made me think of a Bible verse.

715
00:36:56,585 --> 00:37:01,085
It's Romans eight, one, and it says,
therefore, there is now no condemnation

716
00:37:01,085 --> 00:37:02,495
for those who are in Christ Jesus.

717
00:37:02,495 --> 00:37:06,995
Like God does not condemn you.

718
00:37:07,325 --> 00:37:08,525
Religion condemns you.

719
00:37:08,525 --> 00:37:09,785
And that is for man.

720
00:37:10,205 --> 00:37:10,685
Yeah.

721
00:37:10,775 --> 00:37:12,785
Other people are condemning.

722
00:37:13,175 --> 00:37:19,595
God is love and he doesn't
want us to feel those ways and.

723
00:37:20,165 --> 00:37:25,415
I grew up thinking, okay, if you think
of anything even remotely like sexual,

724
00:37:25,625 --> 00:37:28,145
like you, you are, you are so dirty.

725
00:37:29,015 --> 00:37:34,835
Um, I mean, I kissed boys and things
like that, but like, I very hesitant

726
00:37:35,345 --> 00:37:37,415
on all those kinds of things.

727
00:37:37,865 --> 00:37:38,555
Um,

728
00:37:40,715 --> 00:37:44,884
yeah, just very much like didn't
tell you why you couldn't.

729
00:37:44,884 --> 00:37:48,634
They just say like, don't, or you're
basically you're going to Hell yeah.

730
00:37:48,785 --> 00:37:50,525
And like, that's that.

731
00:37:51,515 --> 00:37:57,665
So I don't remember my parents
like hugging or kissing or holding

732
00:37:57,665 --> 00:37:59,015
hands or anything like that.

733
00:37:59,585 --> 00:38:04,055
And my parents divorced
after being married 40 years.

734
00:38:04,835 --> 00:38:05,134
Wow.

735
00:38:05,615 --> 00:38:09,065
And my mom was sleeping on a
different floor of the house.

736
00:38:09,455 --> 00:38:12,575
Like they used to sleep
in the same bed, but like.

737
00:38:14,450 --> 00:38:16,850
The way that they treated each other.

738
00:38:17,000 --> 00:38:20,509
When I was little, I kept asking
why they didn't just get a divorce.

739
00:38:21,140 --> 00:38:25,310
So I didn't, I never really
had an example of what like a

740
00:38:25,310 --> 00:38:28,340
healthy relationship looked like.

741
00:38:28,370 --> 00:38:28,940
Just right.

742
00:38:28,940 --> 00:38:29,540
And what love.

743
00:38:30,170 --> 00:38:30,590
Yeah.

744
00:38:30,590 --> 00:38:34,610
Because love looked like by the time
I came around, they hated each other.

745
00:38:35,480 --> 00:38:35,660
Mm-hmm.

746
00:38:35,870 --> 00:38:39,050
Um, I was kind of like a bandaid, right?

747
00:38:39,355 --> 00:38:39,775
Mm-hmm.

748
00:38:39,860 --> 00:38:47,060
And like my siblings might not agree,
like they, but I was there at the end.

749
00:38:47,450 --> 00:38:51,920
Um, and my parents, my mom would
kind of try to pin me against my

750
00:38:51,920 --> 00:38:54,980
dad and, you know, things like that.

751
00:38:55,009 --> 00:38:55,280
Yeah.

752
00:38:55,670 --> 00:38:56,540
Very sided.

753
00:38:56,960 --> 00:38:57,380
Yeah.

754
00:38:57,380 --> 00:39:02,210
I didn't have a good example of
a healthy relationship and what

755
00:39:02,210 --> 00:39:03,890
that was supposed to look like.

756
00:39:04,250 --> 00:39:04,640
Right.

757
00:39:05,210 --> 00:39:05,750
Um.

758
00:39:07,340 --> 00:39:12,440
So now like I'm married and my husband
has been divorced and you know, my

759
00:39:12,529 --> 00:39:17,180
child up, like we're blended family and
trying to figure out what, what that

760
00:39:17,779 --> 00:39:22,190
looks like, what it looks like to be
a mom, what it looks like to be a dad,

761
00:39:22,460 --> 00:39:25,850
what it looks like to be husband and
wife, because we get to decide that.

762
00:39:26,900 --> 00:39:26,990
Mm-hmm.

763
00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:27,950
Yeah.

764
00:39:28,009 --> 00:39:31,730
But it's hard to know what's
gonna work 'cause you haven't

765
00:39:31,730 --> 00:39:32,990
seen the things that have worked.

766
00:39:32,990 --> 00:39:39,350
And, and another thing for me, even like
not seeing that example and then being

767
00:39:39,350 --> 00:39:43,520
in an abusive household during my middle
school years and being abused by my ex

768
00:39:43,520 --> 00:39:51,049
stepdad and not understanding it was abuse
at the time and having so much anxiety and

769
00:39:51,440 --> 00:39:54,710
almost forms of PTSD from, from that too.

770
00:39:55,430 --> 00:39:58,970
That that also, that carries into
your future relationships and

771
00:39:58,970 --> 00:40:04,115
it's, I think I. This generation
is realizing and recognizing that,

772
00:40:04,174 --> 00:40:08,285
and that's why we're flipping the
script like how you and me are.

773
00:40:08,645 --> 00:40:13,145
So then our kids have that good
example because it, you wanna break

774
00:40:13,145 --> 00:40:17,285
that generational curse with you
and, and like you are and like I am.

775
00:40:17,765 --> 00:40:17,884
Yeah.

776
00:40:17,884 --> 00:40:21,455
And it's hard work, but it's gonna
be, it's worth it for our children.

777
00:40:21,904 --> 00:40:22,235
Yeah.

778
00:40:22,775 --> 00:40:24,515
Well and what an example we're setting.

779
00:40:24,515 --> 00:40:26,944
They really look to us for everything.

780
00:40:26,944 --> 00:40:27,065
Yeah.

781
00:40:27,245 --> 00:40:32,225
I think being honest, like we have,
we talk about social media a lot, um,

782
00:40:32,345 --> 00:40:36,755
being honest about what we're going
through and not just showing the

783
00:40:36,755 --> 00:40:38,285
highlights, not just showing the good.

784
00:40:38,285 --> 00:40:38,555
Right.

785
00:40:38,759 --> 00:40:43,235
Because like Alien, okay, I'm
gonna be really random aliens

786
00:40:43,235 --> 00:40:44,255
could cut into our planet.

787
00:40:44,255 --> 00:40:44,615
Right.

788
00:40:44,615 --> 00:40:47,615
And then they would look at our social
media and try to do some research and

789
00:40:47,615 --> 00:40:50,404
figure out like what life is like.

790
00:40:50,975 --> 00:40:54,694
And if that's all they had and they
didn't know, they wouldn't actually

791
00:40:54,694 --> 00:40:58,085
know like what humans really go through.

792
00:40:59,045 --> 00:40:59,375
Yeah.

793
00:40:59,975 --> 00:41:03,845
There's so many human experiences that we
think we're going through alone because we

794
00:41:03,845 --> 00:41:07,775
hop on social media and see only the good
things that people are posting, you know?

795
00:41:07,775 --> 00:41:12,455
So it's, it's important on the
platforms that we can, and just

796
00:41:12,455 --> 00:41:14,795
in real life conversations to
show the good, bad, and the ugly.

797
00:41:14,795 --> 00:41:17,375
So we know that we have community,
and so people know that they're

798
00:41:17,375 --> 00:41:20,315
not alone and their struggles
and in the good and the bad.

799
00:41:20,315 --> 00:41:23,255
Like we can celebrate the good,
and then your village holds you

800
00:41:23,255 --> 00:41:26,345
up in the bad, and then you do
that for the, for the next person.

801
00:41:26,705 --> 00:41:26,945
Yeah.

802
00:41:26,975 --> 00:41:31,145
That's the, that's the society
that I feel God intended.

803
00:41:31,655 --> 00:41:31,985
Yeah.

804
00:41:32,255 --> 00:41:38,855
And a lot of people maybe think
that the society that that Christian

805
00:41:38,855 --> 00:41:42,515
or evangelical culture has now is
what, like God intended, and it's

806
00:41:42,515 --> 00:41:48,635
not, and that's literally why Jesus
came, is to dispel all the crap

807
00:41:48,695 --> 00:41:50,405
that men were putting in religion.

808
00:41:50,765 --> 00:41:51,695
Men and women.

809
00:41:51,875 --> 00:41:53,075
Men as in humanity?

810
00:41:53,345 --> 00:41:53,735
Yeah.

811
00:41:54,305 --> 00:41:57,905
Or putting in religion and then they
take it to like the other extreme.

812
00:41:58,985 --> 00:41:59,705
Some people,

813
00:41:59,915 --> 00:42:00,305
yeah.

814
00:42:00,305 --> 00:42:02,555
It's either one extreme or the other.

815
00:42:02,855 --> 00:42:07,505
I mean, not to talk about politics,
but in so many other human experiences,

816
00:42:07,505 --> 00:42:11,585
including politics, there's so many black
and white things and, and especially

817
00:42:11,585 --> 00:42:14,585
being like a healthcare worker, being
in the experiences that I've had, I'm

818
00:42:14,585 --> 00:42:18,275
like, there's so many, so much middle
ground that people don't care to look at.

819
00:42:18,365 --> 00:42:19,625
Just in life in general.

820
00:42:20,645 --> 00:42:20,825
Yeah.

821
00:42:20,825 --> 00:42:25,625
And it's like, come on guys, like we're
human and not everything is as black

822
00:42:25,625 --> 00:42:26,945
and white as we make it out to be.

823
00:42:26,945 --> 00:42:29,705
So let's find solutions in the
gray area because I think that's

824
00:42:29,705 --> 00:42:32,315
where a lot of us, if not all
of us live, is in the gray area.

825
00:42:32,765 --> 00:42:36,515
Well, and I wish that there was
less judgment and more Yeah.

826
00:42:36,515 --> 00:42:39,065
Profession and acceptance.

827
00:42:39,335 --> 00:42:44,375
Like we're, we are all humans
trying to have a human experience.

828
00:42:45,095 --> 00:42:45,185
Mm-hmm.

829
00:42:45,186 --> 00:42:45,187
And.

830
00:42:46,924 --> 00:42:47,615
It's hard.

831
00:42:47,674 --> 00:42:49,085
Being a human is hard.

832
00:42:49,625 --> 00:42:49,714
Yeah.

833
00:42:49,714 --> 00:42:51,335
We're just trying to figure it out.

834
00:42:51,335 --> 00:42:53,525
That's what life is, is figuring it out.

835
00:42:54,484 --> 00:42:56,884
Why don't we help each other
figure it out instead of pointing

836
00:42:56,884 --> 00:43:00,755
fingers and acting like someone
else is doing it worse than you.

837
00:43:00,755 --> 00:43:03,245
And in reality, we all have our struggles.

838
00:43:04,055 --> 00:43:04,444
Okay.

839
00:43:04,444 --> 00:43:08,645
Look, my husband sent me that
picture I was talking about earlier.

840
00:43:09,335 --> 00:43:09,785
Hold on.

841
00:43:10,775 --> 00:43:11,255
Okay.

842
00:43:11,555 --> 00:43:16,924
Once upon a time, I met my
husband on a dating website and

843
00:43:16,924 --> 00:43:18,785
this was his profile picture.

844
00:43:18,845 --> 00:43:23,464
'cause I wasn't even gonna, like,
I turned on my profile because I

845
00:43:23,464 --> 00:43:27,275
had to turn it on to read it to
help my friends set her profile up.

846
00:43:28,355 --> 00:43:30,065
I'm gonna see if I can make it bigger.

847
00:43:30,785 --> 00:43:32,375
This was his profile picture.

848
00:43:33,690 --> 00:43:33,910
Oh.

849
00:43:36,154 --> 00:43:38,555
Oh my goodness.

850
00:43:38,674 --> 00:43:40,355
He was in Thailand.

851
00:43:41,404 --> 00:43:41,944
Oh.

852
00:43:41,944 --> 00:43:43,444
And real baby tiger.

853
00:43:44,060 --> 00:43:46,070
Oh, that makes me want a baby tiger.

854
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:47,630
I know

855
00:43:47,630 --> 00:43:48,800
Tiger King.

856
00:43:49,010 --> 00:43:53,120
Anyway, he still has that
TII still have that t-shirt.

857
00:43:55,190 --> 00:43:55,520
He's in it.

858
00:43:55,520 --> 00:43:56,870
We've almost been married for 10 years.

859
00:43:56,870 --> 00:43:59,990
So your husband is in the Air Force?

860
00:43:59,990 --> 00:44:02,570
My husband was once upon a time.

861
00:44:03,230 --> 00:44:03,890
Um,

862
00:44:08,150 --> 00:44:11,210
I was really kind of hoping I wasn't
gonna end up with somebody from

863
00:44:11,210 --> 00:44:15,950
the military just 'cause I kept
having bad experiences with them.

864
00:44:16,400 --> 00:44:21,950
But he like, man, it made him
what he is and I love himself.

865
00:44:21,950 --> 00:44:22,160
Yeah.

866
00:44:22,490 --> 00:44:22,940
Right.

867
00:44:23,180 --> 00:44:28,160
Yeah, there's, I feel like there's a
lot of growth that comes from being

868
00:44:28,160 --> 00:44:32,690
in the military, but there's also like
things about it that I don't like.

869
00:44:32,750 --> 00:44:35,420
Like sometimes that soldier
mentality can be really tough.

870
00:44:35,660 --> 00:44:37,730
It can be however, like.

871
00:44:39,155 --> 00:44:42,455
I'm really thankful for the military
experiences that we've had, even though

872
00:44:42,455 --> 00:44:47,015
it's been so, so hard, like we would
not be where we are today without it.

873
00:44:47,345 --> 00:44:47,765
Yeah.

874
00:44:47,884 --> 00:44:52,685
And I'm actually really thankful for
the deployments and for the, the time we

875
00:44:52,685 --> 00:44:56,525
don't get together because it allows us
to appreciate the time we have together.

876
00:44:56,525 --> 00:44:59,495
And even, yeah, even our experie,
like I wish we didn't have to

877
00:44:59,495 --> 00:45:02,495
experience everything we've gone
through in terms of intimacy and

878
00:45:02,495 --> 00:45:04,384
romance and, and purity culture.

879
00:45:04,384 --> 00:45:08,765
However, like as we continue to
find healing from it, we have

880
00:45:08,765 --> 00:45:09,995
our good days and our bad days.

881
00:45:09,995 --> 00:45:15,875
And, and I, I will say this, this like
past week or so, like it's been a little

882
00:45:15,935 --> 00:45:22,985
rough because you have those seasons
of life, but also like, I don't think

883
00:45:22,985 --> 00:45:26,255
I would trade it because of the lessons
we've learned and the growth that we have.

884
00:45:26,255 --> 00:45:27,935
And we're never gonna take
each other for granted.

885
00:45:27,935 --> 00:45:33,035
And we are a lot stronger than a lot
of marriages because we have had to.

886
00:45:33,890 --> 00:45:36,650
Rely on each other and God, for so much.

887
00:45:36,680 --> 00:45:42,080
That has happened in our relationship
and we know it's a beautiful story

888
00:45:42,080 --> 00:45:43,460
that people also need to hear.

889
00:45:43,820 --> 00:45:44,120
Yeah.

890
00:45:44,180 --> 00:45:50,330
Well, and I just love how, I love and
appreciate how open and real you are

891
00:45:50,330 --> 00:45:55,040
about it because yeah, a lot of people
are not, and they kind of try to hide

892
00:45:55,310 --> 00:46:01,430
or like pretend like things are okay or
maybe not vocalize what they need and

893
00:46:01,430 --> 00:46:01,520
mm-hmm.

894
00:46:02,270 --> 00:46:06,500
Just sharing your story
is, it's incredible.

895
00:46:06,530 --> 00:46:07,370
It's very healing.

896
00:46:07,430 --> 00:46:07,670
Yeah.

897
00:46:08,390 --> 00:46:08,810
Thank you.

898
00:46:08,810 --> 00:46:10,790
It's been, it's been
really healing for me.

899
00:46:10,790 --> 00:46:15,140
And you know, intimacy, sexuality
is not something that a lot of

900
00:46:15,140 --> 00:46:20,420
people, especially in the culture
in which I grew up, um, very taboo.

901
00:46:21,020 --> 00:46:21,080
Yeah.

902
00:46:21,080 --> 00:46:24,200
But it really doesn't have
to be, and culture is made at

903
00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:26,150
that, not God, not the Bible.

904
00:46:26,150 --> 00:46:26,210
Yeah.

905
00:46:26,630 --> 00:46:30,050
And there's actually a whole book of the
Bible that's about romance and intimacy.

906
00:46:30,785 --> 00:46:32,045
What is it?

907
00:46:32,405 --> 00:46:34,595
It's called the Song of
Solomon slash Song of Songs.

908
00:46:34,595 --> 00:46:35,255
Oh yes.

909
00:46:35,525 --> 00:46:35,945
Yeah.

910
00:46:36,740 --> 00:46:36,960
And

911
00:46:37,445 --> 00:46:39,935
used to have a song to remember
all the different books.

912
00:46:40,385 --> 00:46:40,985
Oh yeah.

913
00:46:41,075 --> 00:46:41,735
Oh my goodness.

914
00:46:41,735 --> 00:46:43,055
I used to have all those songs.

915
00:46:43,205 --> 00:46:47,795
We used to do like drills in, um, I
went to a CRI private Christian school

916
00:46:47,795 --> 00:46:50,495
for elementary school and we used to
do what's called sword drills because

917
00:46:50,495 --> 00:46:51,965
the Bible is the sword of the spirit.

918
00:46:52,325 --> 00:46:55,925
And we would have the
Bible, um, here's my Bible.

919
00:46:57,425 --> 00:47:01,685
We would have the Bible like this,
and we all had to stand like this.

920
00:47:01,955 --> 00:47:03,605
And this hand had to be under
this hand, had to be over.

921
00:47:03,605 --> 00:47:04,775
You couldn't have your finger over here.

922
00:47:04,895 --> 00:47:08,765
And they would say, okay, John three 16.

923
00:47:08,765 --> 00:47:10,235
And we'd repeat John three 16.

924
00:47:10,235 --> 00:47:11,225
They'd be like, ready, set, go.

925
00:47:11,225 --> 00:47:13,625
And you'd have to go, oh, and find it.

926
00:47:17,075 --> 00:47:18,155
Oh my heck.

927
00:47:18,935 --> 00:47:19,295
Where'd it go?

928
00:47:19,295 --> 00:47:19,805
Where'd it go?

929
00:47:19,805 --> 00:47:19,865
Ah.

930
00:47:20,765 --> 00:47:21,095
Oh.

931
00:47:21,095 --> 00:47:23,855
And then you do this, and then you
raise your hand and whoever's first

932
00:47:23,855 --> 00:47:24,995
gets to read it and they get a point.

933
00:47:24,995 --> 00:47:25,805
John three 16.

934
00:47:26,315 --> 00:47:26,795
Oh my God.

935
00:47:26,795 --> 00:47:27,455
Then read it.

936
00:47:28,100 --> 00:47:30,290
Forgot to love the world that he
gave his one and only son that

937
00:47:30,290 --> 00:47:32,480
everyone believes in him would
not perish, but have eternal life.

938
00:47:32,480 --> 00:47:33,380
And they'd be like, okay, good.

939
00:47:33,380 --> 00:47:34,040
You get a point.

940
00:47:34,880 --> 00:47:37,490
And like whoever had the most points
would like advance to the next tournament.

941
00:47:38,420 --> 00:47:41,390
We'd have tournaments on
how to find Bible passages.

942
00:47:42,585 --> 00:47:42,625
Yeah.

943
00:47:43,010 --> 00:47:47,750
Anyways, um, um, so like I, I really
appreciate the way in which I grew

944
00:47:47,750 --> 00:47:51,950
up because I grew up in a wonderful
home that put family and faith first,

945
00:47:52,310 --> 00:47:55,250
and faith first and family second.

946
00:47:55,310 --> 00:47:57,860
And, and I think that it's
a wonderful way to live.

947
00:47:57,890 --> 00:48:04,550
And, and however, some of those things
that culture has placed in the church,

948
00:48:04,580 --> 00:48:06,140
I call it cultural Christianity.

949
00:48:06,440 --> 00:48:06,680
Yeah.

950
00:48:06,680 --> 00:48:08,960
Um, that people think is
Christian, but it's really not.

951
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:12,530
Um, because if you go and read
the Bible, interpret it correctly,

952
00:48:12,980 --> 00:48:14,390
then you'll see it's not in there.

953
00:48:15,080 --> 00:48:15,200
Right.

954
00:48:15,230 --> 00:48:23,660
Um, that's kind of what I'm wanting to,
um, flip the script and change the culture

955
00:48:23,660 --> 00:48:26,990
on, because then I think a lot of people
would be open to the thought of God.

956
00:48:27,755 --> 00:48:31,295
And the thought of those types of
things, if it wasn't the way it is

957
00:48:31,295 --> 00:48:36,905
right now, and that's all, that's our
fault as the church in that culture.

958
00:48:37,595 --> 00:48:42,755
We talked, I don't remember, maybe
it was you that I talked with about

959
00:48:42,755 --> 00:48:45,515
this, but we talked about like how
you can tell if somebody is a man

960
00:48:45,515 --> 00:48:50,435
of God and like, even though I'm not
like, I'm like, I don't know what I

961
00:48:50,435 --> 00:48:52,385
really believe anymore, but Right.

962
00:48:52,805 --> 00:48:57,305
If somebody is part of a religion and
they're like proclaiming it from the

963
00:48:57,305 --> 00:49:02,825
mountaintops and whatever, that isn't
necessarily somebody that is a man of God.

964
00:49:02,855 --> 00:49:03,935
Like you can see it in Right.

965
00:49:04,865 --> 00:49:08,195
Their everyday actions and
in the little Yes, they do.

966
00:49:08,915 --> 00:49:09,365
Yes.

967
00:49:09,365 --> 00:49:13,145
Um, a huge analogy that used
in the Bible is tree and fruit.

968
00:49:13,475 --> 00:49:13,685
Yeah.

969
00:49:13,685 --> 00:49:18,875
And you'll see what kind of tree
it is by the fruit that it bears.

970
00:49:19,415 --> 00:49:23,255
So if it's not bearing fruit,
if it's bearing bad fruit.

971
00:49:24,020 --> 00:49:25,370
They're not a man of God.

972
00:49:25,580 --> 00:49:26,000
Yeah.

973
00:49:26,030 --> 00:49:30,230
Their tree is not rooted in
actually in scr, in, in the Bible.

974
00:49:30,500 --> 00:49:30,590
Mm-hmm.

975
00:49:30,830 --> 00:49:32,930
And their tree is not rooted in God.

976
00:49:33,230 --> 00:49:37,100
However, you see by their everyday
actions where their fruit, you

977
00:49:37,100 --> 00:49:39,650
see what their life is rooted in.

978
00:49:40,040 --> 00:49:40,430
Yeah.

979
00:49:41,480 --> 00:49:49,640
So I have been, like, I was raised going
to church every Sunday and since I got

980
00:49:49,640 --> 00:49:52,820
married, my husband and I don't do that.

981
00:49:52,970 --> 00:49:54,020
It's been like a decade.

982
00:49:54,380 --> 00:49:57,230
We'll go and we'll support family
members when they're doing things

983
00:49:57,230 --> 00:49:58,221
if they need us to, but mm-hmm.

984
00:49:58,245 --> 00:50:01,340
But we we're not regular church
goers, my husband's atheist.

985
00:50:01,820 --> 00:50:10,340
Um, and I had to kind of figure out,
'cause I had values and things that

986
00:50:10,340 --> 00:50:13,220
were taught to me through the church
and I kind of had to figure out how

987
00:50:13,220 --> 00:50:15,020
to navigate and do that without.

988
00:50:15,740 --> 00:50:15,980
Mm-hmm.

989
00:50:16,940 --> 00:50:20,330
And like, really, what does
parenting look like when you're not.

990
00:50:21,215 --> 00:50:22,715
Taking him to church every Sunday.

991
00:50:22,775 --> 00:50:25,865
And I used to take my daughter to
this church that we really liked,

992
00:50:25,865 --> 00:50:29,495
but I still was just like, I don't
know, maybe it's not really for me.

993
00:50:29,915 --> 00:50:36,725
But yeah, eventually like you learn,
it's less about where you are.

994
00:50:37,655 --> 00:50:39,395
Like you don't have to
be in a church building.

995
00:50:39,395 --> 00:50:42,995
You watched church on your couch
and you watched church Alabama.

996
00:50:43,415 --> 00:50:44,690
I love that you're able Yeah.

997
00:50:44,800 --> 00:50:48,635
That like people you know
probably and things like that.

998
00:50:48,635 --> 00:50:50,165
It that how cool.

999
00:50:50,195 --> 00:50:56,645
But that community and like those values
and standards and things, I'm thankful

1000
00:50:56,645 --> 00:50:59,315
for the ones that I grew up with, right?

1001
00:50:59,315 --> 00:51:03,965
I used to teach at a Catholic
school and we just really worked

1002
00:51:03,965 --> 00:51:07,355
on, and I'm not Catholic at all.

1003
00:51:07,505 --> 00:51:09,725
I learned all about how to be Catholic.

1004
00:51:10,085 --> 00:51:15,575
Um, but I just appreciated
how open they were and.

1005
00:51:16,025 --> 00:51:19,325
Like, I was able to ask questions
and they didn't laugh at me

1006
00:51:19,325 --> 00:51:20,465
when I was like, that's weird.

1007
00:51:20,465 --> 00:51:23,225
That's not like what
they taught in my church.

1008
00:51:23,225 --> 00:51:24,095
And things like that.

1009
00:51:24,095 --> 00:51:26,015
Like I appreciated that.

1010
00:51:26,075 --> 00:51:28,925
And I appreciate being able
to have open conversations

1011
00:51:29,195 --> 00:51:29,855
with people that are

1012
00:51:30,215 --> 00:51:31,235
different things than me.

1013
00:51:31,295 --> 00:51:32,045
It opens my mind.

1014
00:51:32,045 --> 00:51:32,105
Yeah.

1015
00:51:32,645 --> 00:51:33,515
So thank you.

1016
00:51:33,575 --> 00:51:33,904
I love you.

1017
00:51:33,935 --> 00:51:35,195
Yeah, same for me.

1018
00:51:35,225 --> 00:51:35,975
Same for me.

1019
00:51:35,975 --> 00:51:39,275
And it's, and I think that's been a
beautiful thing about military life.

1020
00:51:39,605 --> 00:51:40,115
Oh yeah.

1021
00:51:40,115 --> 00:51:45,275
Um, that I almost wish everyone
could experience is going to a place

1022
00:51:45,275 --> 00:51:46,595
where the culture is different.

1023
00:51:46,595 --> 00:51:49,535
Growing up in the Bible
belt and then moving here.

1024
00:51:49,835 --> 00:51:52,955
It's a whole different ballgame, but
it's because it's a different culture

1025
00:51:52,955 --> 00:51:54,154
and people believe different things.

1026
00:51:54,154 --> 00:52:00,365
Also, the US is so big that Alabama
and Utah are, are I believe, over

1027
00:52:00,365 --> 00:52:01,535
2000 miles away from each other.

1028
00:52:01,865 --> 00:52:02,315
Oh yeah.

1029
00:52:02,825 --> 00:52:07,475
That's a very like, like somewhere else
that would be countries away, you know?

1030
00:52:07,775 --> 00:52:08,134
Yeah.

1031
00:52:08,134 --> 00:52:10,384
And so it's like feel another language.

1032
00:52:10,535 --> 00:52:11,225
Mm-hmm.

1033
00:52:11,495 --> 00:52:15,065
Culture is different and
beliefs are different.

1034
00:52:15,515 --> 00:52:23,015
So it's been very important for the
confidence of my personal faith to

1035
00:52:23,045 --> 00:52:27,214
have been expanded to people and to,
to live in communities with people

1036
00:52:27,214 --> 00:52:28,685
with different beliefs than me.

1037
00:52:29,105 --> 00:52:29,495
Yeah.

1038
00:52:30,365 --> 00:52:34,865
Um, I took a cultural anthropology
class when I was in college.

1039
00:52:34,865 --> 00:52:38,464
Like one of my, I I had a lot of
things I wanted to be, when I grew up.

1040
00:52:38,855 --> 00:52:47,645
I wanted to be like an anthropologist,
but like an archeological archeological.

1041
00:52:48,484 --> 00:52:51,725
Like, I wanted to go dig up stuff and
find artifacts and be like, Indiana

1042
00:52:51,725 --> 00:52:53,884
Jones, or I wanted to be a surgeon.

1043
00:52:54,185 --> 00:52:57,815
Like, yeah, I ended up being a teacher.

1044
00:52:58,415 --> 00:53:03,305
Um, but I just loved learning.

1045
00:53:03,305 --> 00:53:08,840
I. Their creation stories and
like their roots of humanity

1046
00:53:08,840 --> 00:53:09,950
in the stories that they tell.

1047
00:53:10,160 --> 00:53:11,840
I did a tiny little stint.

1048
00:53:11,840 --> 00:53:15,710
I lived in Florida for a year and I
think that was my, 'cause I grew up in,

1049
00:53:15,710 --> 00:53:19,040
or Oregon moved to Utah when I was 12.

1050
00:53:19,070 --> 00:53:22,010
I did my mascara, I'm using
it for a wand, I'm sorry.

1051
00:53:22,730 --> 00:53:25,970
And after I moved to Utah
when I was 12 and then I was

1052
00:53:27,980 --> 00:53:31,850
20 I think, and I moved to Florida
and then I moved back when I

1053
00:53:31,850 --> 00:53:33,410
was 21 and had my daughter.

1054
00:53:33,950 --> 00:53:41,090
And going to Florida, being with
nobody that I knew, like I knew one

1055
00:53:41,090 --> 00:53:47,870
person and um, experiencing just
a whole different life and culture

1056
00:53:47,870 --> 00:53:51,380
over there totally changed my life.

1057
00:53:51,440 --> 00:53:52,850
I was the other side of the country.

1058
00:53:53,420 --> 00:53:57,140
Um, where in Florida were
you at Orlando Kissemee.

1059
00:53:57,200 --> 00:53:57,950
Oh yeah.

1060
00:53:58,790 --> 00:54:00,920
I could walk to downtown Disney.

1061
00:54:01,460 --> 00:54:02,780
Oh, so fun.

1062
00:54:02,870 --> 00:54:03,320
I know.

1063
00:54:03,380 --> 00:54:04,550
I would go all the time.

1064
00:54:04,880 --> 00:54:07,970
I used to do karaoke with the Disney cast.

1065
00:54:09,110 --> 00:54:09,260
Fun.

1066
00:54:10,040 --> 00:54:10,460
Really

1067
00:54:10,460 --> 00:54:10,970
fun.

1068
00:54:12,350 --> 00:54:14,450
I miss going to Disney and
all those things that you,

1069
00:54:14,450 --> 00:54:15,950
it was like a 10 hour drive

1070
00:54:15,950 --> 00:54:19,850
for us, but Oh, that's like,
well, we could do Disneyland.

1071
00:54:20,240 --> 00:54:21,500
It's just not, we could do Disneyland.

1072
00:54:21,830 --> 00:54:24,170
I think we'd need to do a
girls trip to Disneyland.

1073
00:54:24,860 --> 00:54:25,310
That sounds so fun.

1074
00:54:25,310 --> 00:54:29,630
My kids were talking about it last
night though, so they'd be mad if I went

1075
00:54:29,630 --> 00:54:31,010
without them, but we don't have to tell.

1076
00:54:32,090 --> 00:54:32,570
That's fine.

1077
00:54:32,690 --> 00:54:34,190
We'll do a sneaky trip.

1078
00:54:35,030 --> 00:54:35,240
Yeah.

1079
00:54:35,840 --> 00:54:37,370
And then they can come on another one.

1080
00:54:38,120 --> 00:54:38,810
Yeah, that's fine.

1081
00:54:39,920 --> 00:54:40,580
Oh man.

1082
00:54:40,730 --> 00:54:46,725
So with your platform
reclaimed, what's your plan?

1083
00:54:48,770 --> 00:54:50,570
'cause you're doing videos.

1084
00:54:51,320 --> 00:54:51,500
Yeah.

1085
00:54:51,500 --> 00:54:51,650
Let

1086
00:54:51,650 --> 00:54:52,760
me bring out my notebook here.

1087
00:54:52,760 --> 00:54:53,120
Tell your

1088
00:54:53,165 --> 00:54:53,365
story.

1089
00:54:54,575 --> 00:54:55,025
This is.

1090
00:54:56,450 --> 00:55:01,700
We get to talk about this when we do
our interviews and stuff, so, right.

1091
00:55:01,790 --> 00:55:03,770
I wanna hear, I wanna
hear what your why is.

1092
00:55:06,589 --> 00:55:14,629
So, my mission with Reclaimed is to foster
safe environments so that marriage can,

1093
00:55:14,660 --> 00:55:18,830
marriages can find freedom from purity
culture, and difficulty with intimacy.

1094
00:55:19,490 --> 00:55:19,730
Beautiful.

1095
00:55:19,759 --> 00:55:23,359
In doing so, I'm equipping couples
to reclaim their worth and identity

1096
00:55:23,390 --> 00:55:27,830
through Rev through revealing God's true
perspective on sexuality and intimacy.

1097
00:55:28,730 --> 00:55:34,640
Um, and then some things that I have done
that I've been working on, which of course

1098
00:55:34,640 --> 00:55:36,710
it's always hard with my work schedule.

1099
00:55:36,710 --> 00:55:36,770
Yeah.

1100
00:55:36,830 --> 00:55:38,210
But it is important to me.

1101
00:55:38,210 --> 00:55:42,620
So, you know, my social media presence
has been my biggest thing so far.

1102
00:55:42,620 --> 00:55:45,440
It, it, I think that reaches
people far and wide and

1103
00:55:45,440 --> 00:55:49,609
expands, you know, it increases
opportunities for expansion Yeah.

1104
00:55:49,609 --> 00:55:51,259
Of people to hear your story.

1105
00:55:51,680 --> 00:55:54,950
Um, I'm educating on their
own women's health issues.

1106
00:55:55,040 --> 00:55:55,549
Um.

1107
00:55:56,210 --> 00:56:00,230
Educating on reclaiming romance there.

1108
00:56:00,230 --> 00:56:04,970
There's so many things that I
focus on, um, on my social media.

1109
00:56:05,299 --> 00:56:12,230
Another thing that I've done is I hosted
a donation drive for minstrel products,

1110
00:56:12,590 --> 00:56:16,850
and in the next couple weeks I'm going
to be delivering those products to a

1111
00:56:16,850 --> 00:56:18,740
couple of teen centers in Davis County.

1112
00:56:19,190 --> 00:56:24,440
So I found out that all of, uh, Davis
County High Schools have teen centers.

1113
00:56:24,620 --> 00:56:29,420
Teen centers, and it's for
low income and homeless teens.

1114
00:56:29,420 --> 00:56:33,620
So they have a place to stay, um,
place where they can do their laundry.

1115
00:56:33,620 --> 00:56:36,200
They have food, um, shelter.

1116
00:56:36,259 --> 00:56:36,895
Oh, that's cool.

1117
00:56:36,915 --> 00:56:41,029
And so I think it's really important
for them to have those, um, essential

1118
00:56:41,029 --> 00:56:45,410
supplies because when you don't
have those essential supplies,

1119
00:56:45,410 --> 00:56:46,850
you lose your sense of dignity.

1120
00:56:47,450 --> 00:56:50,660
And everyone deserves to have
dignity when it comes to their

1121
00:56:50,660 --> 00:56:52,160
body and their menstrual cycle.

1122
00:56:52,520 --> 00:56:53,000
That's true.

1123
00:56:53,075 --> 00:56:53,295
So.

1124
00:56:54,470 --> 00:56:59,509
Something that I would love to continue
to expand, and I think Mrs. Utah

1125
00:56:59,779 --> 00:57:02,509
is a great way in which to do it.

1126
00:57:02,509 --> 00:57:06,980
It would be a stepping stone and,
and a, a microphone for, for my

1127
00:57:06,980 --> 00:57:14,600
voice is to continue these donation
efforts to get menstrual supplies

1128
00:57:14,600 --> 00:57:19,550
for all schools across the Wasatch
front, and then do a tour as I am.

1129
00:57:20,765 --> 00:57:25,865
Dropping these donations off, do a
tour, um, like in the auditoriums of

1130
00:57:25,865 --> 00:57:27,845
these schools to do like an in-service.

1131
00:57:27,964 --> 00:57:28,055
Mm-hmm.

1132
00:57:28,295 --> 00:57:30,815
To explain, okay, this is
what this product is for.

1133
00:57:30,815 --> 00:57:31,565
Like the females.

1134
00:57:31,745 --> 00:57:34,475
Okay, this is what this project
is, this is how you use it.

1135
00:57:34,805 --> 00:57:39,484
It would be also really cool to utilize
my nursing degree, um, to go into

1136
00:57:39,545 --> 00:57:44,134
health classrooms and explain things
in a way that doesn't sound scary.

1137
00:57:44,315 --> 00:57:46,295
And just to educate Yeah.

1138
00:57:46,295 --> 00:57:49,475
Women on their bodies and,
and how to protect themselves.

1139
00:57:49,895 --> 00:57:52,174
I think that would be,
that would be really cool.

1140
00:57:53,075 --> 00:57:57,365
Um, on my social media, I've also
co-authored some topical bible

1141
00:57:57,365 --> 00:58:00,365
studies alongside Mrs. Rocky
Mountain, which was really fun.

1142
00:58:00,365 --> 00:58:01,145
We did that.

1143
00:58:01,234 --> 00:58:07,174
Um, we did a Thanksgiving challenge
back in November and, um, it was a daily

1144
00:58:07,174 --> 00:58:10,625
thing and we swapped back and forth on
which days that we did the devotionals.

1145
00:58:10,835 --> 00:58:12,095
That was really fun.

1146
00:58:12,545 --> 00:58:13,174
Um.

1147
00:58:14,675 --> 00:58:19,145
The biggest thing on my social media is
dispelling the lies of purity culture,

1148
00:58:19,145 --> 00:58:25,895
replacing it with God's truth, um, and
God's true perspective on purity and

1149
00:58:26,075 --> 00:58:29,345
intimacy and your view of yourself.

1150
00:58:30,515 --> 00:58:31,055
Um.

1151
00:58:33,545 --> 00:58:38,825
But yeah, my, my biggest God-sized dream,
um, something that I hope God utilizes

1152
00:58:38,825 --> 00:58:42,935
me for like a career opportunity would
be demolishing the detriment of purity

1153
00:58:42,935 --> 00:58:47,195
culture, reclaiming our worth and identity
through feeling God's perspective,

1154
00:58:47,465 --> 00:58:49,025
um, throughout the whole nation.

1155
00:58:49,205 --> 00:58:54,905
Um, whether that is creating, um, an
interactive date night book, which I hope

1156
00:58:54,905 --> 00:59:01,240
is, will be published by the end of this
year, um, to provide, uh, a no stress.

1157
00:59:02,405 --> 00:59:06,665
Um, date night ideas for couples
that maybe feel like that is a chore

1158
00:59:06,725 --> 00:59:10,475
because me and my husband go through
that a lot of feeling like romance

1159
00:59:10,505 --> 00:59:11,945
is a chore and it shouldn't be.

1160
00:59:11,975 --> 00:59:13,505
That takes the fun away from it.

1161
00:59:13,835 --> 00:59:14,105
Yeah.

1162
00:59:14,165 --> 00:59:16,565
Um, so just providing
like a no pressure thing.

1163
00:59:16,565 --> 00:59:19,685
Someone can open up, scratch
off and find a cute date night

1164
00:59:19,745 --> 00:59:21,785
idea that's low, uh, income.

1165
00:59:22,325 --> 00:59:22,835
That's so fun.

1166
00:59:22,865 --> 00:59:24,125
So it's budget friendly.

1167
00:59:24,335 --> 00:59:29,165
And then I would love to write a
book at some point on my struggles

1168
00:59:29,165 --> 00:59:33,965
and what I've learned and be able
to have that for purchase and

1169
00:59:34,655 --> 00:59:36,665
keynote speaker, keynote speaking.

1170
00:59:36,695 --> 00:59:41,255
And I think all those things would
be my God-sized dream with this.

1171
00:59:41,285 --> 00:59:44,645
Um, and then the final thing that I
would really love to do at some point

1172
00:59:44,645 --> 00:59:49,175
is for me and my husband to host a
couple's retreat, a marriage retreat.

1173
00:59:49,295 --> 00:59:50,555
I don't know where it would be.

1174
00:59:50,945 --> 00:59:54,665
I don't know what that looks
like yet, but that's a, that's

1175
00:59:54,665 --> 00:59:56,285
a huge God-sized dream of mine.

1176
00:59:56,660 --> 01:00:02,750
To allow couples that are struggling
with intimacy, to have a community,

1177
01:00:02,810 --> 01:00:05,660
to know they're not alone, to be
able to talk about it and to find

1178
01:00:05,660 --> 01:00:12,620
different ways to, um, cultivate and
reclaim that part of their marriage.

1179
01:00:13,040 --> 01:00:13,370
Yeah.

1180
01:00:13,700 --> 01:00:17,720
So those are, those are all of
my huge, um, ideas right now.

1181
01:00:17,720 --> 01:00:18,740
That's so cool.

1182
01:00:19,370 --> 01:00:19,580
And

1183
01:00:19,580 --> 01:00:23,240
I, you're so incredibly capable.

1184
01:00:24,140 --> 01:00:24,500
Thank you.

1185
01:00:24,500 --> 01:00:24,980
I love it.

1186
01:00:25,370 --> 01:00:28,730
And you're just, I love how open
and honest you are about everything.

1187
01:00:28,790 --> 01:00:32,750
Like you're, you're very bright light
in my life and I appreciate you.

1188
01:00:33,050 --> 01:00:33,710
I love you.

1189
01:00:34,430 --> 01:00:35,060
I love you too.

1190
01:00:35,060 --> 01:00:36,290
And I appreciate you too.

1191
01:00:37,070 --> 01:00:39,230
I hope you get to do all of those things.

1192
01:00:39,590 --> 01:00:46,550
Um, and I think especially even with like,
regardless of getting the crown, I think

1193
01:00:47,600 --> 01:00:49,460
that this is something that you could do.

1194
01:00:49,550 --> 01:00:50,030
Right?

1195
01:00:50,510 --> 01:00:50,900
Right.

1196
01:00:50,990 --> 01:00:51,500
Um.

1197
01:00:53,570 --> 01:00:55,250
And it's powerful.

1198
01:00:55,580 --> 01:01:00,110
Like you're standing, you're standing
in your power and using your talents,

1199
01:01:00,140 --> 01:01:05,540
and you're helping people find a
safe space to be in their own body.

1200
01:01:06,470 --> 01:01:06,799
Yeah.

1201
01:01:07,015 --> 01:01:07,637
And to cultivate and to

1202
01:01:07,790 --> 01:01:09,770
not be ashamed of it either.

1203
01:01:10,279 --> 01:01:10,820
Oh yeah.

1204
01:01:10,820 --> 01:01:16,100
I think that's the big, I think that's
the big word that we've been missing is

1205
01:01:16,100 --> 01:01:23,720
shame, because we often feel a lot of
shame and that can block us from a lot.

1206
01:01:24,500 --> 01:01:28,220
So many things that, that in
itself keeps you isolated.

1207
01:01:29,345 --> 01:01:29,465
I,

1208
01:01:30,770 --> 01:01:33,950
um, I think I felt a lot of
shame last year when I was

1209
01:01:33,950 --> 01:01:35,330
still trying to do the pageant.

1210
01:01:35,390 --> 01:01:37,670
Like I didn't really feel like I belonged.

1211
01:01:38,545 --> 01:01:38,765
Mm.

1212
01:01:39,350 --> 01:01:39,740
Mm-hmm.

1213
01:01:40,130 --> 01:01:42,920
And I definitely still
have imposter syndrome.

1214
01:01:42,920 --> 01:01:44,029
I have no idea what I'm doing.

1215
01:01:44,690 --> 01:01:45,049
Yeah.

1216
01:01:45,170 --> 01:01:48,560
I feel that, and I think that's something,
something that we kind of always go

1217
01:01:48,560 --> 01:01:53,000
through in our life because we have all
these big aspirations and the pageant

1218
01:01:53,299 --> 01:01:55,460
helps put those into motion for us.

1219
01:01:55,819 --> 01:01:56,029
Yeah.

1220
01:01:56,060 --> 01:01:56,180
But

1221
01:01:56,180 --> 01:01:59,480
I think there's gonna always be
a, a little bit of a sense of

1222
01:01:59,480 --> 01:02:01,700
like, am I really made for this?

1223
01:02:01,700 --> 01:02:02,810
Am I really cut out for this?

1224
01:02:02,810 --> 01:02:04,880
But that's why you have your
village of women around you

1225
01:02:04,880 --> 01:02:05,810
to remind you Yes you are.

1226
01:02:05,810 --> 01:02:07,730
And yes you can, and yes you will.

1227
01:02:08,450 --> 01:02:12,410
Well, and I think even if you win
the crown, or if you don't win the

1228
01:02:12,410 --> 01:02:15,890
crown with what you're doing, you're
gonna have a whole village of women,

1229
01:02:15,950 --> 01:02:17,720
women behind you supporting you along.

1230
01:02:17,720 --> 01:02:18,170
Right.

1231
01:02:18,259 --> 01:02:20,240
Showing up for you because Right.

1232
01:02:21,319 --> 01:02:23,029
That's who these people are.

1233
01:02:24,110 --> 01:02:26,600
And I'm so crazy thankful for all of them.

1234
01:02:26,600 --> 01:02:30,259
Even some of 'em that like, because Utah
is a big state too, some of them live kind

1235
01:02:30,259 --> 01:02:34,160
of far away and they're, they're stuck for
each other and show up for each other, so.

1236
01:02:34,190 --> 01:02:35,240
Right, right.

1237
01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:38,360
And, and the thing with reclaimed is.

1238
01:02:38,750 --> 01:02:41,000
What I think is different
than previous years for me.

1239
01:02:41,000 --> 01:02:45,710
Not that I'm saying this would win me
the crown or not, because regardless,

1240
01:02:45,740 --> 01:02:49,400
God is using me and God will use
this to open up opportunities for me.

1241
01:02:50,029 --> 01:02:55,940
But this is reclaimed as something
that's based on my personal experiences.

1242
01:02:56,060 --> 01:02:57,830
It's not a seasonal thing in my life.

1243
01:02:57,830 --> 01:03:02,629
It's been a pivotal
transformational journey in my life.

1244
01:03:03,170 --> 01:03:07,850
And I believe that God has
this on my heart so he can use

1245
01:03:07,850 --> 01:03:09,290
this for the rest of my life.

1246
01:03:09,350 --> 01:03:13,640
Whether I make a lot of money on it
or not, like I pray that I will have

1247
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:17,270
the resources and the opportunity
to continue this work and to expand

1248
01:03:17,270 --> 01:03:23,629
it and to, to do it, you know, as as
my career would be the goal, because

1249
01:03:23,629 --> 01:03:25,040
that's what I'm passionate about.

1250
01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:28,940
And I think I've been feeling that more
and more lately, which probably means

1251
01:03:28,940 --> 01:03:30,560
that God's gonna begin opening doors soon.

1252
01:03:30,560 --> 01:03:31,580
So that's really exciting.

1253
01:03:31,910 --> 01:03:32,180
Yeah.

1254
01:03:32,210 --> 01:03:36,109
Well, and your heart and your
soul is in it like it is.

1255
01:03:36,815 --> 01:03:37,505
You can just tell it's

1256
01:03:37,505 --> 01:03:38,345
embedded into who.

1257
01:03:38,345 --> 01:03:40,621
It's embedded into who I am,
and you're just gonna, but I

1258
01:03:40,626 --> 01:03:41,585
think that's the difference.

1259
01:03:42,185 --> 01:03:43,265
You're just gonna do good.

1260
01:03:43,535 --> 01:03:44,315
Like Yeah.

1261
01:03:44,675 --> 01:03:49,025
And you're like, you're owning your
story and standing in your power

1262
01:03:49,025 --> 01:03:51,575
and you're reclaiming who you are.

1263
01:03:51,905 --> 01:03:53,915
I'm reclaiming, I'm
reclaiming my identity.

1264
01:03:53,915 --> 01:04:00,665
I'm not allowing that to, I'm not
allowing the label of, um, vaness

1265
01:04:00,725 --> 01:04:03,545
of difficulty with intimacy.

1266
01:04:03,545 --> 01:04:05,885
I'm not allowing those
labels to define my life.

1267
01:04:05,885 --> 01:04:09,635
And yes, there are days that I
revert back into that, but then

1268
01:04:09,845 --> 01:04:14,495
conversations like this help me to
remember that that's not who I am.

1269
01:04:14,495 --> 01:04:15,995
That's something I'm going through.

1270
01:04:16,505 --> 01:04:16,745
Yeah.

1271
01:04:16,835 --> 01:04:18,215
Oh, it's not who I am.

1272
01:04:18,305 --> 01:04:19,145
That's powerful.

1273
01:04:19,715 --> 01:04:21,875
And that, I think that's where it changes.

1274
01:04:22,415 --> 01:04:23,225
Wow.

1275
01:04:24,095 --> 01:04:24,335
Yeah.

1276
01:04:25,085 --> 01:04:27,875
Mm. You're powerful.

1277
01:04:27,965 --> 01:04:31,085
I love you so much, man.

1278
01:04:31,085 --> 01:04:32,225
I probably have to end this.

1279
01:04:32,225 --> 01:04:34,115
I have no idea how long this episode is.

1280
01:04:34,715 --> 01:04:35,165
Oh my goodness.

1281
01:04:35,165 --> 01:04:35,765
I don't even wanna know.

1282
01:04:37,925 --> 01:04:39,305
I just love you so much.

1283
01:04:39,305 --> 01:04:45,515
You're, you have a powerful spirit and
I am really proud of you and I'm so

1284
01:04:45,515 --> 01:04:50,975
happy to know you and thankful that
you're part of the sash sisterhood that

1285
01:04:50,975 --> 01:04:54,485
you took me under your wings so I could
figure out what the heck I was doing.

1286
01:04:56,134 --> 01:04:58,835
Um, I just love you so much.

1287
01:04:59,585 --> 01:05:00,065
I love you too.

1288
01:05:00,155 --> 01:05:03,245
And thank you for the opportunity
to, to share my story yet again

1289
01:05:03,245 --> 01:05:06,095
because every time I do it, it
heals a little part of me too.

1290
01:05:06,545 --> 01:05:10,775
Well, I appreciate you doing
it and being brave, like being

1291
01:05:10,805 --> 01:05:12,395
able to be brave and do it.

1292
01:05:12,425 --> 01:05:13,715
'cause it does take some bravery.

1293
01:05:13,835 --> 01:05:14,825
So It does.

1294
01:05:14,825 --> 01:05:15,725
It absolutely does.

1295
01:05:16,235 --> 01:05:16,745
Thank you so

1296
01:05:16,745 --> 01:05:17,015
much.

1297
01:05:17,015 --> 01:05:18,215
Where can we find you?

1298
01:05:19,415 --> 01:05:22,445
You can find me on Instagram.

1299
01:05:22,445 --> 01:05:27,785
My personal Instagram is
k dot Thomas dot Lippert.

1300
01:05:28,445 --> 01:05:32,045
And then, um, link to that is my.

1301
01:05:32,585 --> 01:05:34,445
Reclaimed social media.

1302
01:05:34,625 --> 01:05:39,155
So that's reclaimed ktl because Instagram
wouldn't just let me use reclaimed.

1303
01:05:39,395 --> 01:05:40,750
So my initials at the end.

1304
01:05:41,820 --> 01:05:42,110
That

1305
01:05:42,110 --> 01:05:42,270
works.

1306
01:05:42,275 --> 01:05:49,205
Um, and then, um, on my social media, on
my Instagram, uh, if you click the link in

1307
01:05:49,355 --> 01:05:54,125
the bio, you can actually access a Google
form to share your own reclaim story.

1308
01:05:54,185 --> 01:05:58,025
This can be anonymous Oh, but,
um, to find healing for yourself.

1309
01:05:58,025 --> 01:06:01,205
I would love, um, if some people
will go in and share their stories.

1310
01:06:01,205 --> 01:06:05,585
It doesn't just have to be with
intimacy, sexuality, it can be anything.

1311
01:06:06,065 --> 01:06:10,715
That you feel like you have reclaimed
in your life, because I think

1312
01:06:10,715 --> 01:06:12,335
that's a universal experience.

1313
01:06:12,605 --> 01:06:15,634
So I would love to begin sharing
those as soon as possible.

1314
01:06:16,055 --> 01:06:16,235
Yeah.

1315
01:06:16,265 --> 01:06:21,305
And there's also a link tree with
a variety of resources, um, from

1316
01:06:21,545 --> 01:06:26,435
my previous posts, so you can find
resources to help you and your

1317
01:06:26,435 --> 01:06:29,045
partner along in your journey as well.

1318
01:06:29,585 --> 01:06:31,174
And you can always deem me on there.

1319
01:06:31,235 --> 01:06:34,805
I'm more than happy to answer any
questions, provide support, prayer,

1320
01:06:35,285 --> 01:06:38,465
whatever you need or, or direct
you to the appropriate resources

1321
01:06:38,465 --> 01:06:39,395
to help you with your needs.

1322
01:06:39,904 --> 01:06:40,685
Oh man.

1323
01:06:40,685 --> 01:06:42,005
Thank you so much, Kaylyn.

1324
01:06:42,065 --> 01:06:42,694
I love you.

1325
01:06:42,815 --> 01:06:43,625
Absolutely.

1326
01:06:44,015 --> 01:06:47,795
Um, okay, friends and others,
if you have listened this far.

1327
01:06:48,470 --> 01:06:49,580
Thank you so much.

1328
01:06:50,000 --> 01:06:54,440
Um, you can find me at not so
genius on Instagram and at not

1329
01:06:54,440 --> 01:06:56,930
So Genius podcast on YouTube.

1330
01:06:57,320 --> 01:07:01,040
And I don't know, I guess this is the end.

1331
01:07:01,130 --> 01:07:06,920
We'll take care of yourselves
out there, the end and.