Reconnecting After 20 Years: A Journey of Empowerment and Self-Discovery

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Hello and welcome to the Inner Workings of the Not So Genius Mind.

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I'm your host, Amanda McCombs.

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I'm the Not So Genius.

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We're diving deep into the ordinary mind today to uncover extraordinary insights with my friend here.

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Uh, as I knew her like a million years ago.

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How many years? I can't even think.

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Heather Casper.

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It's been since like early 2000s.

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Early 2000s.

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Yeah, it's been like 20 years.

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Is that right? 20 years.

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Yeah, it's been about that.

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I'm sorry.

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It's that.

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Wow.

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Okay, well, Heather and I knew each other when we were like, there was like a model collaborative that we both were a part of, right? Yeah.

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Yeah.

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The, the bomber, well, it was before the bombers because we had a friend that watched Your Oldest Daughter.

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Oh, yeah.

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That's right.

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And so, because I had known about you, I heard about you before that, but I actually met your oldest before I officially met you.

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And you were still going to the U, and you were living up there, getting your degree.

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And then Busy, busy.

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Yep, and then we did the bombers thing that originally started off kind of as a Collective and then it kind of dropped so my boyfriend at the time decided like he really wanted to be supportive so he bought it and we all kind of worked together that way which was fun like that was a lot of fun nights and a lot of crazy things a lot of really good women that we got to meet and men and yeah, it's been like forever that's been fun.

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Half the places we used to go to don't even exist anymore.

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Oh no, do you know, um, so I did a photo shoot when I was, it was, I don't think it was my first photo shoot.

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It was like my second, my second or third photo shoot when I was doing Mrs.

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Utah America, showcasing all my Mrs.

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Daybreak stuff.

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We went to Memory Grove and every time I go there, I think about how we were in that music video.

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Yes! And it was like hovered in fake blood, but like serving us all pot roast and like rolls and stuff.

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Yeah.

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Like a proper meal.

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Whoops, I just shook my whole camera.

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Like a proper meal.

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It was, that was so fun.

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It was a pleasure dying with you.

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It's like, oh, like we both got poisoned.

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It was great.

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Oh my gosh.

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And then we died.

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It was so like, that was such.

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A long time ago.

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That was so fun.

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And it was really just like a bunch of people working together to be creative.

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I remember like somebody would just have an idea for a photo shoot and we would be like, yeah, let's make it happen.

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And we would go and even like, When they did the, the music video release, um, they did it at the Southie Horror Pictures.

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And it was in Park City, and you were the only one that went with me.

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And we almost got stuck in Park City because it was snowing so bad.

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Yep.

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It was pretty bad.

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That was kind of scary.

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Was it? You had a station wagon back then, I think? And we were like, we can make it! We can make it! We can do it! I believe in us! Man, we had such great attitudes back in the day.

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Man.

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Do you want to do this? Yeah.

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Sure.

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You just brought the small ones along and was like, yep, we're just, we're just going to let them have fun.

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Yeah.

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Why not? I mean, it's all part of growing up.

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I bet, man, I'm going to have to ask my oldest and see like what she remembers.

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Yeah, because that was such a different life.

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Like we talk about all the time because, um, this year my husband and I have been married for nine years and up until then it was just like me and her, right? Yeah.

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A really long time.

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Yeah, it really was.

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It was a whole group of our friends that gathered around to help with her and, Well, we all kind of needed each other a little bit.

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Yeah, so man that was then so life now 20 years later.

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I know like I went through a marriage and a divorce Had my daughter.

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The wedding.

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Yeah, it worked.

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One of my friends was just all about you.

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Oh, ma'am.

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And he helped me, um, I remember being so embarrassed because I locked my keys in my car and he came and helped me.

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He was like that though.

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He's, and he still is like that.

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Like, he's married.

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Well, I don't know that they're officially married, but he's with his long time girlfriend now and they've got like four or five kids and like, yeah, he's been through a ton, but he was always like that back then.

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He would help my sisters.

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He would help my friends.

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Like he was General isn't the right word, but there's, there's like a word for it.

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For somebody at Chivalrous? Yeah, he was very chivalry.

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But he didn't look like he No! He looks like, like the guy from the hood that you should be scared of.

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And he like had that, he had that personality.

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You don't take him home to mom, but he's like, but he was really good looking and he was super sweet and nice.

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But he also had that bad boy.

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I've got to be cool.

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Like, you know, attitude and he's still like, you know, He's still got one of those like hearts of gold type thing, you know, especially I see, like, I don't talk to him a ton anymore, but, um, you know, I love seeing him interact with his kids and stuff.

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And you could just tell like, he's grown up quite a bit since like we all have, you know? Yeah.

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Oh my goodness.

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So we're, we were talking about in some of my other episodes, we've talked about like, A moment in your life where you can define your life as like before and after.

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So I talk a lot.

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It was actually my mom's birthday on this last Sunday.

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Um, which is hard.

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Like this week for me is really, really hard because, um, it was about a week after her birthday that she passed away.

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And.

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So when I like, I think about this moment and I think about what my life was like before and what it was like after, or like with my shingles, what my life was like before and what it was like after, and we were talking about kind of not a midlife crisis and not an identity crisis.

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What did you call it? It's your midlife rebranding.

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Yes.

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I love that.

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So tell me more.

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Cause I think that's beautiful.

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So mine kind of hit when I was 30.

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I felt like it was 30.

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Um, cause that's when I, like I had just finished a divorce.

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Um, I had a couple of really good friends around me that were encouraging me to return to school.

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So that's actually when I started going back to get my bachelor's degree.

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Um, And shortly after that, I ended up switching career paths entirely.

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So it wasn't like, and it wasn't like this big gigantic, like, Oh my gosh moment.

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It was more of just everything started to click into place.

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And, um, I'm, I'm a really, I'm really big into astrology and around 30 is when your Saturn return kind of happens.

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And so it was very interesting to learn about what a Saturn return is.

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I don't know.

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I'm still learning it.

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But it's like, this big thing that happens in, in a, um, when you're sat, though Saturn takes like, Almost 30 years to go around the entire earth, I think.

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And don't quote me a huge on this.

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I have a friend that's an astrologer and she's, um, so I, I'm now in my current career path.

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She's also in the same career industry.

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Um, and she's also a astrologer and she does like career counseling and she's absolutely incredibly amazing.

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I.

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I'm obsessed with everything she does, but we were talking about it and so Saturn for me was in the house of Scorpio and so when I turned 30 it came back into Scorpio.

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I think it's Scorpio, I think.

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Um, So it was just really interesting about like everything I went through when I was learning later on about a Saturn return, how much it aligned, and I'm like, oh my gosh.

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Like mind blown, holy Hannah.

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Like had to go through all of these things.

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Yeah, it was the, um, really defining my spirituality.

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Like, you know, I grew up in the dominant religion here in the state we live in, and even though I left that religion when I.

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was early teens, like it wasn't until I got with my current husband, which was after I turned 30, that I really had that safe space to really explore what my spirituality was, you know? So now it's like I'm, I'm a very active and open practicing witch.

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And Um, you know, what that means to me and how that works with my spirituality, um, you know, astrology being a big part of that.

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And, but it was also, like, the switch in career.

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Like, I went from working, you know, customer service jobs into human resources.

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Um, and even further that, like, developing that more into the law aspect.

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Um, it was, you know, going from ending a marriage to finding the man and starting to date the man and then getting married.

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Um, you know, and being in a much healthier, much just way overall, much better relationship.

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Um, finally coming to terms with my sexuality, you know, accepting that, you know, more of who I am and what I'm comfortable with.

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And what I.

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You know, what I know to be true for me, like, really diving into who I am.

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But it was interesting how it manifested even in, like, creativity.

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You know, like, I went from, like, I worked at a local haunted house here in Salt Lake for 10 years, and I had so much fun.

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I know.

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That was such a cool job.

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I kinda want some teepees.

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I do still make them.

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Can you get me some teepees? Um, cause that was the thing.

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I was acting, but then I started making vampire fangs, and then I started making clown fangs, and then I got into the makeup aspect of it.

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And so I was doing makeup for the past three years there.

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It worked.

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And really developing that, I started going to those paint nights and actually just enjoying being creative, which was nice for a change.

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And even, like, aspects of my social life changed.

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Like, I, I was known for a very long time just as Casper.

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Like, everybody knew me as Casper.

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And I was that way when I was at a local bar.

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We have a local gothic bar here, um, where I was doing karaoke on Wednesdays and working as a bar back as a second job.

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And I was doing all these events and, um, cosplay nights and, you know, get dressed up all the time.

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They were so much fun.

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And, um, You know, I had that kind of life, whereas now my social life is very geared almost towards my career, like I'm doing, I volunteer for a couple non profits, I sit on a couple of boards, um, in different aspects, like I sit on the State Board for, uh, Society for Human Resource Management, I sit, um, I'm partners with, um, the Virtual Employee Relations Association, um, And then I do a variety of things in between and so it's like a lot of my social life now is networking events and luncheons and Hanging out, you know, it's just it's and it could be that maybe it was just the fact that we turned 30, right? And we just grew up You know, our, our lives changed.

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We got a little bit more serious, but you know, it also, especially the past few years have manifested more in my mental health and more in my physical health, you know, like it's a lot harder to lose weight as you get older and eating right is difficult and figuring out what your body response to is difficult and that's constant fighting.

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And the mental health aspect of it.

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You know, I was diagnosed with ADHD, which was like a lightbulb click, and then finding out that people have been telling my parents that I was ADD my whole life, and they were like, no, it's fine, only to find out, like, no, it really is.

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Like, that's who I am.

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I was just diagnosed, like, a couple years ago.

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And I was like, liberating, but tons of people around me were like, how did you not know? And I was like, what do you, what do you mean? How did I not know? Like, I didn't even think about it.

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Like, but I think what we, what we know now versus what we knew then is totally different, you know? And so working with those, you know, mental health professionals finally.

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Getting the right diagnoses and finally discovering what it is that I need to do to be present for myself so Yeah, it was really interesting how like everything kind of switched right after I turned 30 Like I finished my bachelor's degree.

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I got my master's degree.

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I'm starting my juris doctorate, right? Like it was like everything just triggered right then but it wasn't some big crisis Like I didn't feel like it was a crisis for me.

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It was more of a Liberating discovery of who I was.

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So I labeled it midlife rebranding because I'm like, I'm just rebranding who I am.

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Well, and I think that's perfect.

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That's exactly, exactly what you're doing.

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And you have, I didn't, I was thinking, you know, when you're in, I didn't realize I've been listening to a lot more TikTok and like Instagram, whatever videos where they talk about the religion that we've been a part of.

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And.

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They keep referring to it as a high control religion.

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And when you are under that much control and you're told what's okay to wear and what's okay to say or watch or eat or any of that stuff, and you have to check all these boxes and make sure you fit in and you don't feel safe, you can't open up your mind to do these amazing creative things.

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That you are able to do.

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Like if you don't feel safe, you're not going to be able to create.

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Well, and you just, there, there's no space for the safety, right? You have to create a safe space and, and it's hard because it's like, I'm, I still have a lot of family members that are very active in that faith.

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And so I try to support them with their decisions.

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Um, and there's this really good therapist that I just discovered on Instagram and she's here in, in, in our state.

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And she helps people.

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deal with their traumas from this religion.

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And, you know, she talks about that.

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She's not bashing the religion itself.

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Um, she's not saying that the teachings of this religion are wrong or inappropriate.

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It's the people in the religion that are creating these traumatic experiences.

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You know, like you're, you're taking away agency from.

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Children and your, you know, and the, and the people that she's talked with, she's relaying like real people's experiences.

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And obviously she doesn't break, you know, confidentiality and, you know, nobody's information is shared.

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She is very professionally, but she's like, you know, over the course of my career, these are common things that I see with people dealing with these, these religions.

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And I think you can find that in every religion because it's true.

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It's very much like, you know, I always told.

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People like, um, your relationship with God or spirituality is like a big bowl of ice cream.

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And how you choose to eat that ice cream is totally up to you.

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If you want to eat with a silver spoon or a wooden spoon or like the little wooden thing that came with the little, uh, sherbert cups that we used to eat as kids.

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It's like flat paddle.

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Yeah, or a paddle.

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Maybe you want to eat it with your hands, you know, like that's up to you.

196
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Yeah, it's your ice cream.

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You eat it the way you want to, and maybe your ice cream is green.

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Maybe it's mint chocolate chip.

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Maybe it's, uh, one of Baskin Robbins 31 flavors, you know, like it's, it's completely up to you, but it's your ice cream.

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You got to figure it out.

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Like, no one can eat it for you.

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You have to figure that out.

203
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And So it's like, there's a lot of things with a lot of the different religions that I'm, I really appreciate.

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But it's the people in the religions that are really the facilitators of that trauma.

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It's how they teach it, you know, and it's how it comes across to people and I've heard that time and time again, even from people who are currently active, that they'll get some teachings.

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it's the, it's like, I've been told for many people that are actively in those religions, like, when they're learning about the things and stuff, that they're like, really, it depends on the person.

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You can take the same lesson and give it to three different people and you're gonna learn three different things.

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Yeah.

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So, it, It's, you know, again, it comes back to that knowledge and yes, right.

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And it's very different.

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So it's just something like we have to kind of take with a grain of salt and still be respectful to others that are within that religion.

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But that doesn't invalidate our experiences as we grew up because there is a lot of shame.

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There is a lot of guilt, you know, and it comes down to like, we still need to work through those things.

214
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Like I think the best thing I've done for myself is go to therapy and work with, you know, mental health professionals to make sure that I'm okay.

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Because it doesn't matter what you do, like if you can't be okay for yourself, then you're not going to be able to show up for your family or your co workers.

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or your friends, like it just doesn't happen.

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100%.

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And I think, um, going to a doctor and like, that was huge for me too.

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Cause I, I didn't realize I had PTSD.

220
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I didn't realize I had ADHD.

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I didn't realize I had any of this stuff going on until I went to therapy.

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And I think a lot of us maybe, um, Or I know I was worried about having any kind of label.

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I didn't want to be labeled as having something wrong with me and going and finding out what's wrong with me so that I can get the medicine that I need and understand how my brain works and what I actually need to be successful has been a huge, it's been life changing.

224
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Oh yeah.

225
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I wouldn't be able.

226
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I probably wouldn't be here today.

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I wouldn't be able to function.

228
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Yeah.

229
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It's, it's been really enlightening, you know, to go and, you know, just within like a few conversations, it was like instant how, you know, my, my therapist was like, Ooh, you've got signs of quite a few of these things.

230
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You know, we talked about, you know, PTSD.

231
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Um, we talked about a couple other, um, disorders and things like that, where when I went in to research them, You know, I went, you know, that a lot of this makes sense, like, it clicks.

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And I really, I really appreciated that because one, I felt seen.

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I was like, Oh my gosh, they get it.

234
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But two, I realized that as I was learning more about me and getting these diagnoses, things that I had fought with myself my whole life for, and I would get so frustrated about like, why can't I get better at this? Like, why can't I improve this? Realizing that it's part of the side effects are part of how these disorders manifest in people.

235
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I was like, Oh.

236
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Okay, so I was able to give myself that grace and be able to, you know, even talk with, like, my bosses and say, Hey, I just realized this is part of a disorder.

237
00:21:56,335.9606814 --> 00:22:06,25.9606814
Um, and so it's talking about, at that point, where you're covered under applicable employment laws, because then they can't include that necessarily on your performance reviews.

238
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They have to give you accommodations, and it's like, disorders don't necessarily, you know, excuse some of the issues, but it can open up a door for a better conversation of, okay, what kind of accommodations can we make for you? You know, um, I have a tendency to be very long winded and, um, I, uh, it's funny because this is very much a Mercury and Taurus type thing, but I am very repetitive.

239
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I am very, very repetitive.

240
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I didn't know that that repetition Oh, it's a meow meow.

241
00:22:42,130.9616814 --> 00:22:42,630.9616814
Hi.

242
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This is Freya.

243
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Oh, I have Frigga on my altar.

244
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Oh, here you go.

245
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She's so cute.

246
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I've got Aphrodite in my bedroom for self love.

247
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And then I have Frigga for motherhood.

248
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Um, I've worked with Hecate for a very long time.

249
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Um, I have her key.

250
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I've talked about her, yeah.

251
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Yeah.

252
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So she's one, one of my main goddesses.

253
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And then, um, Athena is my owl.

254
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And she's like the patron goddess of lawyers.

255
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Because she's all about war and wisdom and creativity.

256
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And you've got to be like So I'm like, yes.

257
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And then I've been working with Persephone because of Pluto is in Aquarius right now.

258
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And so I'm like, okay, as I'm having to deal with that aspect of it, well, Pluto is Hades and who the one person that Hades will respond to is Persephone.

259
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So it's like, okay, I'm going to start working with her to start, like, kind of help me through a bunch of these.

260
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How do you figure any of this out? I'm a research nerd.

261
00:23:53,950.9616814 --> 00:24:00,920.9616814
So, like, I'll have to send you the podcast I was on with Jessica.

262
00:24:00,950.9616814 --> 00:24:05,920.9616814
So it's, her podcast is called That Witch From Work and she's a fellow HR nerd.

263
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Um, she is an amazing astrologer.

264
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She's a certified career counselor.

265
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So she takes astrology and turns it into the world of work.

266
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So she reads your birth chart and shows you how that can manifest in the workplace.

267
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And it's fascinating.

268
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It's absolutely fascinating, um, about how things just align.

269
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I used to write down, like, her, her monthly forecasts, and I'd put it on my calendar of the stuff she would say, and then I would track what actually would happen.

270
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And there was a day where she's like, This is gonna be a day of really big sadness.

271
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Like, you know, excuse me, um, you're going to feel sad, it's going to be down and we ended up having a riff getting moved to that day and we had that reduction in force and it was just like not planned, it just happened.

272
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Then there was another day about big communication, like that she predicted it's going to be big and that day we ended up having a huge email go out about a new policy that had just been written.

273
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And so it was just like, Crazy how some of that stuff like aligns, but, and so even like, it's funny cause even whether you believe it or not, like it happens and you can attune it to the astrology.

274
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You can just say it's coincidence, but I really like it.

275
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And I think it's, it's a big part of kind of my practice and what I do with it.

276
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Well, and like historically speaking, it's kind of been around for a minute, right? Yeah.

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Yeah.

278
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So when there's traditional astrology and there's modern astrology, and we have a tendency to go with traditional because that's what the original ones were.

279
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Modern's a little bit different, but yeah, it was just really interesting how like a lot of those things aligned.

280
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And so I was learning about my, my Taurus, my Mercury was in Taurus and how it's like, talks about, you know, you repeat yourself a lot and this and that and the other, and then finding out, well, really that's this.

281
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That's a symptom of ADHD, and it's also something that I would get talked to about at work a lot, where it was like, you don't need to repeat yourself so much, and I couldn't figure out why I do that, and it was like, aggravating my husband, and other people would bring it up, and then come to find out that it's, you know, That's part of ADHD as well.

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So I was able to go in and say, Hey, can I have an accommodation to where when we're going into meetings, you guys can give me an agenda with bullet points of what you want me to talk on.

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And that way I can prepare my answers before and I can come in and I can be clear and concise and be contributing to this meeting and it's going to be all right.

284
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And it's made the world of a difference because then I'm not, you know, looking at these executives and just.

285
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Word vomiting all over them when they really just want, Oh, I work on it all the time.

286
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What? This is amazing.

287
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I have never thought about asking for accommodations.

288
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Well, okay.

289
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So at my school that I was just at, when I had the shingles go through my face, we, I had to do all this paperwork because I had to change my job.

290
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So I was going from being a P.

291
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E.

292
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teacher to being the art teacher, but it was because I couldn't do the bright lights, and I couldn't do the sound, and I couldn't do Like, I physically could not do it.

293
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It was awful.

294
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But asking for those accommodations can be terrifying.

295
00:27:28,475.9606814 --> 00:27:29,425.9616814
Yes, they can.

296
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And it's hard when, like, you, it really depends on your HR department and how people feel about them.

297
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Like, I've gone into a lot of companies where they've had horrible experiences with previous HR people.

298
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And it takes a minute for them to realize like, you know, we're not all bad, you know, and there's a lot of, uh, stereotypes that you get with it.

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And people are like, well, you know, you get into HR, you have horns.

300
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And I'm like, I looked at your factory.

301
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I've got like three pairs of horns in my closet.

302
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What one do you want? Which pair should I wear today? You know? And plus it, you know, it helps that like I, I grew up in an area where it's like, I'm just a regular human being, you know, and I, I believe that, you know, in HR, yes, we're there to protect the company, but we do that by making sure that the company, um, follows the laws and treats everyone fairly, which means that if you need an accommodation, like, yeah, we might need you to go get some stuff from your doctors, but we're going to help you.

303
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You know, because we want you to do your best so that you can be productive.

304
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And then that ultimately makes the company productive.

305
00:28:41,125.9616814 --> 00:28:49,965.9616814
So it's, it's a hard thing to, you know, even bring up because you don't, there's lots of people that are like, no, I'm just going to figure it out.

306
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I don't want to have to ask for help.

307
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And they want to be able to do it themselves.

308
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Like asking for help is somehow a sign of weakness.

309
00:28:57,515.9616814 --> 00:28:58,375.9616814
And I see that.

310
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Even in my kids, you know, where our oldest just started seventh grade and she couldn't find her locker and I'm like, well, did you ask for help? You know, did you look on a map? And she was like, well, no, like, I'll just figure it out.

311
00:29:14,45.9606814 --> 00:29:17,895.9616814
And it's like, it's okay to ask for help, guys.

312
00:29:17,896.0616814 --> 00:29:20,980.8616814
Like, it's not hard.

313
00:29:21,370.9616814 --> 00:29:44,80.9606814
I actually do have a really hard time asking for help when I need it, but I've gotten better because like I had, we had to be like, you're strong, independent people, right? Yeah, that was another conversation we had with our kids is like, you guys growing up versus us growing up is very, very different.

314
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We had to be strong.

315
00:29:46,980.9616814 --> 00:29:59,375.9616814
You know, some of us like, You know, our parents weren't always the best ones to help guide us through certain situations or they were working all the time and they weren't around as much.

316
00:29:59,755.9616814 --> 00:30:06,705.9611814
Um, you know, we didn't have as much hands on and every parent was different, right? And there was nothing wrong about that.

317
00:30:06,705.9611814 --> 00:30:11,875.9616814
It was, they were doing the very best that they knew how to do at the time.

318
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And, I mean, hey, we all survived.

319
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I mean, you know, we You know, we grew up, we made it all right.

320
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And, you know, but there also wasn't the fear of social media like there is now.

321
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You know, there wasn't as many predators that we were aware of or didn't have as much access.

322
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To us as they do now, you know, and even like kids earlier and earlier.

323
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Like, I remember my first phone, I think I was in junior high is when I got my very first phone.

324
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It was one of those super old Nokia bricks, you know, like the little tiny one and I was just excited when the T9 came out and we could like predict text.

325
00:30:54,185.9616814 --> 00:30:58,365.9616814
Push the button five times to get to the right and then you're like, Oh man, I missed it.

326
00:30:58,365.9616814 --> 00:30:59,315.9616814
I have to do it again.

327
00:30:59,785.9616814 --> 00:31:06,795.9616814
Though I was super good at knowing what buttons to push and how many times like I didn't even have to look at my phone to text a full sentence.

328
00:31:06,885.9616814 --> 00:31:07,345.9616814
It was great.

329
00:31:07,865.9616814 --> 00:31:24,805.9606814
But like kids now, like I got my daughter a phone, um, and it was just one of the little watch phones, but I got one for her when she, like as soon as she started daycare, like right around kindergarten.

330
00:31:25,905.9606814 --> 00:31:31,815.9616814
So that, but I also, you know, at that time was a single working mom, so I needed to be able to reach her.

331
00:31:32,415.9616814 --> 00:31:32,975.9616814
Yeah.

332
00:31:33,65.9616814 --> 00:31:36,535.9616814
And, you know, where she was, yeah.

333
00:31:39,785.9616814 --> 00:32:01,235.9616814
We just live in a totally different world and there's like, man, the shenanigans that we got up to, we had so much fun, I just like go through my closet of like the shoes that I still have.

334
00:32:01,315.9616814 --> 00:32:04,725.9616814
Um, because I remembered every time we had a photo shoot.

335
00:32:05,205.9616814 --> 00:32:06,945.9616814
I had to get the outfit.

336
00:32:06,955.9616814 --> 00:32:10,725.9616814
So I had to look at what corset was I going to buy? Cause corsets were like the thing.

337
00:32:11,45.9616814 --> 00:32:12,145.9616814
We had so many corsets.

338
00:32:13,325.9606814 --> 00:32:14,645.9616814
I have so many.

339
00:32:14,965.9616814 --> 00:32:18,115.9616814
They're all in my, my grandmother's cedar chest that I have.

340
00:32:18,565.9616814 --> 00:32:21,775.9606814
And I've just got all these, it's crazy.

341
00:32:24,460.9616814 --> 00:32:27,510.9616814
I know, I'm like going looking at him now going, I don't even know if I'll fit.

342
00:32:27,511.0616814 --> 00:32:30,300.9616814
Like, I don't even know.

343
00:32:31,390.9616814 --> 00:32:34,170.9616814
But like, you know, we had our outfits, we had the ideas.

344
00:32:34,180.9616814 --> 00:32:36,540.9616814
And it was like, hey, someone would come do our hair and makeup.

345
00:32:37,320.9606814 --> 00:32:41,940.9606814
And, you know, like, it was just fun.

346
00:32:41,950.9606814 --> 00:32:43,520.9616814
It was creativity.

347
00:32:45,220.9616814 --> 00:32:46,410.9616814
With a lot of bending.

348
00:32:47,180.9616814 --> 00:32:49,50.8616814
Lots of bending.

349
00:32:49,50.9616814 --> 00:32:50,90.9616814
And really weird.

350
00:32:50,650.9616814 --> 00:32:54,900.9616814
I'm actually very surprised we did not have more injuries.

351
00:32:55,710.9606814 --> 00:32:57,850.9616814
I think I'm the one that got injured the most.

352
00:32:58,50.9616814 --> 00:32:58,960.9616814
Probably.

353
00:32:59,150.9616814 --> 00:33:00,920.9616814
You are the most adventurous of us.

354
00:33:01,985.9616814 --> 00:33:06,5.9616814
Like, if anybody had an idea, you would be like the first to be like, yep, I'll do it.

355
00:33:07,115.9616814 --> 00:33:07,705.9616814
Let's try it.

356
00:33:08,375.9616814 --> 00:33:09,55.9616814
Let's go.

357
00:33:09,535.9616814 --> 00:33:12,95.9606814
And be like, I don't know that I can bend this way, but we're gonna give it a go.

358
00:33:14,355.9616814 --> 00:33:15,515.9616814
Oh, man.

359
00:33:15,925.9616814 --> 00:33:18,875.9606814
I remember going to the sugar mill.

360
00:33:19,910.9616814 --> 00:33:22,400.9616814
And doing that Rockstar photo shoot.

361
00:33:22,730.9616814 --> 00:33:24,970.9616814
Yes, that was so fun.

362
00:33:25,50.9616814 --> 00:33:29,770.9606814
It looked really, really cool, but I could have fallen through the floor.

363
00:33:29,830.9616814 --> 00:33:31,850.9616814
There was just bat poop everywhere.

364
00:33:32,540.9616814 --> 00:33:36,810.9616814
Yeah, but you looked so good doing it though.

365
00:33:36,820.9616814 --> 00:33:38,820.9611814
I know, it was so fun.

366
00:33:38,820.9611814 --> 00:33:40,120.9616814
I would do it all over again.

367
00:33:40,720.9616814 --> 00:33:49,925.9616814
I took some of the inspiration from that, um, Because I was, I decided that like, once I lost the baby weight, I needed to go do a bunch of photo shoots.

368
00:33:49,985.9616814 --> 00:33:55,175.9616814
And so I took some of that inspiration because I went from being blonde to the darker hair.

369
00:33:55,615.9616814 --> 00:33:56,255.9616814
Uh huh.

370
00:33:56,425.9606814 --> 00:33:59,605.9606814
And, uh, we went out to Memory Grove.

371
00:34:00,865.9616814 --> 00:34:07,935.9616814
Um, yeah, because before I was doing like this really dark purple and it looked almost black, but then you get it in the sun and it was like, it's really pretty purple.

372
00:34:08,795.9616814 --> 00:34:08,835.9616814
Cool.

373
00:34:09,980.9616814 --> 00:34:13,570.9616814
But we went to Memory Grove and, and I did something similar.

374
00:34:13,570.9616814 --> 00:34:25,500.9616814
I put on my big old demonia boots and my white pants and like, someone's like, all right, who wants to be brave and put lingerie on? And we're going to walk down the aisle of this really nice church.

375
00:34:25,500.9616814 --> 00:34:26,830.9616814
And I'm like, Let's do it.

376
00:34:27,910.9616814 --> 00:34:28,240.9616814
I'm in.

377
00:34:29,350.9616814 --> 00:34:29,860.9616814
We got this.

378
00:34:30,800.9616814 --> 00:34:32,800.9616814
Is there anybody in here? We're just gonna walk really fast.

379
00:34:33,90.9616814 --> 00:34:35,480.9616814
Man, we had a lot of fun though.

380
00:34:35,950.9606814 --> 00:34:38,360.9616814
I was just thinking about all that stuff the other day.

381
00:34:38,360.9616814 --> 00:34:47,190.9616814
I don't remember what brought it up, but I remember just like going all over the place to do all kinds of crazy photo shoots.

382
00:34:47,600.9616814 --> 00:34:50,290.9616814
And there wasn't like, we never got paid.

383
00:34:50,350.9616814 --> 00:34:54,340.9616814
Like we maybe raised money for charity or something, but it was just.

384
00:34:55,95.9616814 --> 00:35:19,365.8616814
Creative minds working together to do a thing, right? I just loved the, the way we made these women feel because it was a group where, I mean, yeah, we had, um, Kayla who was, you know, she had modeling experience and she's, you know, an Amazon and gorgeous.

385
00:35:19,365.9616814 --> 00:35:21,185.9616814
I am actually going to interview her.

386
00:35:21,825.9616814 --> 00:35:22,755.9616814
Oh good, good.

387
00:35:22,755.9616814 --> 00:35:31,205.9616814
I messaged her and was like, Ah, Amanda's doing this and she's like, Yeah, so I messaged and she's like, She probably has so many though and I'm like, It's her story.

388
00:35:31,835.9616814 --> 00:35:32,685.9616814
Is incredible.

389
00:35:32,685.9616814 --> 00:35:36,615.9616814
I've kept tabs with her over the years and she is a warrior woman.

390
00:35:36,615.9616814 --> 00:35:37,955.9616814
Like, she's so good.

391
00:35:38,345.9616814 --> 00:36:08,725.9616814
I just, Well, and like, so I, all these people that I've met over these like 20 years, I can't believe, um, That's the one, one of the things that I like about Facebook and social media is that I can watch these people, these incredible women that I've connected with and men, some men, but most of them are women because I've really needed that sisterhood, right? I didn't, I don't know about you in high school.

392
00:36:09,35.9616814 --> 00:36:13,965.9616814
I didn't really have like friends that were girls that I hung out with.

393
00:36:14,5.9616814 --> 00:36:15,635.9616814
I had my boyfriend's friends.

394
00:36:16,825.9616814 --> 00:36:19,45.9616814
And so I really needed that.

395
00:36:20,160.9616814 --> 00:36:35,770.9606814
Especially when I wasn't checking all those boxes in our religion, because I had a lot of people that could have been my friends turn their back on me because that's like what they were kind of instructed to do.

396
00:36:35,780.9606814 --> 00:36:40,190.9606814
Like don't associate with people that aren't living up to these standards.

397
00:36:41,90.9606814 --> 00:36:50,585.9616814
So like I lost that sisterhood and I think once we started doing our thing, I kind of Get what that felt like.

398
00:36:50,855.9616814 --> 00:36:51,305.9616814
Yeah.

399
00:36:51,535.9616814 --> 00:36:56,845.9616814
I mean, and just the, the confidence that we brought the ladies that we were with.

400
00:36:56,885.9616814 --> 00:36:57,175.9616814
Right.

401
00:36:57,205.9616814 --> 00:37:08,815.9616814
I mean, cause yeah, we did have people like Kayla who were just amazing, but we also had women of all shapes and sizes, all heights, um, all body shapes, all body types.

402
00:37:09,45.9616814 --> 00:37:19,640.9616814
And, you know, to, I remember we did one of the runway shows at The fifth, which is no longer in existence, by the way, they shut it down.

403
00:37:19,910.9616814 --> 00:37:21,820.9616814
Really? Yeah, it's gone.

404
00:37:22,640.9616814 --> 00:37:37,460.9616814
Um, so we had our, our stage and I remember one of the girls, she was a little bit smaller, um, a little bit rounder and she, we had put her in this lingerie and she walked out onto the runway and she came back in and she was crying and I was pissed at first.

405
00:37:37,460.9616814 --> 00:37:40,160.9616814
I was like, okay, who did what to you? I'm going to go beat them up.

406
00:37:40,410.9616814 --> 00:37:42,70.9606814
Like, you know, we're going to put the hammer down.

407
00:37:42,770.9616814 --> 00:37:47,280.9616814
And she looked at me and she's like, I've never felt more beautiful than I have in this moment.

408
00:37:47,330.9616814 --> 00:37:48,540.9616814
And I started bawling.

409
00:37:48,550.9616814 --> 00:37:49,530.9616814
Cause I was like, Oh my gosh.

410
00:37:49,530.9616814 --> 00:37:52,900.9616814
And like her husband was out in the crowd and he's whistling at her.

411
00:37:52,900.9616814 --> 00:37:54,326.6896814
And he's like, that's my wife.

412
00:37:54,326.6896814 --> 00:37:55,720.8616814
Like, that's my girl.

413
00:37:55,720.9616814 --> 00:38:01,100.9611814
And the whole bar was like, and she's like, I've never felt that before.

414
00:38:01,100.9611814 --> 00:38:03,780.9616814
And I'm like, Oh, this is why we do this.

415
00:38:03,910.9616814 --> 00:38:10,490.9616814
Like women empowering women and you know, like it doesn't matter what your body shape is.

416
00:38:10,500.9616814 --> 00:38:17,40.9606814
You can always find something that will hide what you're insecure about, accentuate what you're proud of.

417
00:38:17,430.9616814 --> 00:38:21,210.9606814
So when you look in the mirror, you feel beautiful.

418
00:38:21,700.9616814 --> 00:38:22,70.9616814
Yeah.

419
00:38:22,600.9616814 --> 00:38:36,690.9616814
Because really that, that confidence has to come from within, you know, and that's what I teach my girls now is like, when you are getting ready for school or, you know, as you're getting older, you're starting to develop a style.

420
00:38:37,100.9616814 --> 00:38:41,460.9616814
And what's important to me is that when you look in the mirror, you like what you see.

421
00:38:42,80.9606814 --> 00:38:42,330.9606814
Yeah.

422
00:38:43,300.9606814 --> 00:38:43,690.9606814
Hold on.

423
00:38:43,690.9606814 --> 00:38:45,940.9606814
I was going to say the cat, I think.

424
00:38:46,240.9606814 --> 00:38:46,520.9606814
Hold on.

425
00:38:47,140.9606814 --> 00:38:47,720.9606814
I'm coming, David.

426
00:38:47,741.0616814 --> 00:38:49,864.9416814
Oh! Thanks, David.

427
00:38:49,864.9416814 --> 00:38:54,140.9616814
Hold on! Oh, okay.

428
00:38:55,370.9616814 --> 00:38:55,810.9616814
We're fine.

429
00:38:55,930.9616814 --> 00:38:56,200.9616814
Yeah.

430
00:38:57,350.9616814 --> 00:38:58,660.9616814
Oh, he just told you off.

431
00:39:00,320.9616814 --> 00:39:01,90.9606814
She was stuck.

432
00:39:01,91.0606814 --> 00:39:01,750.8616814
Oh.

433
00:39:01,750.9616814 --> 00:39:03,600.9616814
Oh, it's a girl named David.

434
00:39:05,210.9616814 --> 00:39:06,850.9606814
She's black and white.

435
00:39:06,851.0606814 --> 00:39:10,260.9606814
Oh, my poor Lipsy Creek.

436
00:39:11,220.9616814 --> 00:39:11,810.9616814
I had to give.

437
00:39:11,811.0616814 --> 00:39:12,90.9616814
And the black cats.

438
00:39:12,720.9616814 --> 00:39:14,810.9616814
My black cats are Johnny and Moira.

439
00:39:15,405.9616814 --> 00:39:28,495.9616814
Um, I had a kitty right before my daughter was born, and after my daughter was born he got really, really jealous and was peeing all over my ex's clothes, so we had to give him away.

440
00:39:28,585.9616814 --> 00:39:30,885.9616814
That was so hard.

441
00:39:31,365.9616814 --> 00:39:40,95.9616814
These little ones in here are fosters, so I like take them to adoption events to try to get them adopted out of here.

442
00:39:40,260.9616814 --> 00:39:48,10.9616814
But they're so cute with the kids that I thought I was only going to have them for a little bit, but nobody wants them.

443
00:39:48,440.9616814 --> 00:40:01,520.9616814
Someone take these kitties! Um, it's fun just to think about, like, how far we've come, even though, like, I don't know.

444
00:40:01,550.9616814 --> 00:40:14,910.9616814
I've been doing all kinds of therapy and stuff, but when I think about, like, all our adventures and stuff that we did, I'm not, like, I don't know.

445
00:40:16,670.9616814 --> 00:40:18,490.9616814
They're fun to think back on.

446
00:40:18,870.9616814 --> 00:40:24,630.9616814
It's fun to think back on, and I don't get upset, and I'm, like, thankful that I did all the things I did.

447
00:40:24,920.9616814 --> 00:40:33,940.9616814
But, like, The empowerment thing, I totally get with doing the pageant now, cause I was terrified.

448
00:40:33,950.9616814 --> 00:40:36,320.9616814
Like, this was the first pageant I've ever done.

449
00:40:36,940.9616814 --> 00:40:38,130.9616814
I'm so proud of you for doing that.

450
00:40:38,131.0616814 --> 00:40:39,260.9616814
I'm terrified.

451
00:40:39,290.9616814 --> 00:40:40,110.9616814
I'm doing it again.

452
00:40:40,580.9616814 --> 00:40:44,630.9606814
Yeah! Do it! It's gonna be so fun.

453
00:40:44,860.9606814 --> 00:40:47,640.9616814
Oh my gosh, I have to tell you.

454
00:40:50,365.9616814 --> 00:40:52,675.9616814
I'm road tripping down to Vegas.

455
00:40:53,995.9616814 --> 00:40:55,505.9616814
I go to Vegas all the time.

456
00:40:55,506.0616814 --> 00:40:58,675.9616814
Where are you going? Where are you staying? I've never been! I'm staying at home.

457
00:40:59,235.9616814 --> 00:41:05,335.9606814
Well, okay, so I've been, but I've been pregnant.

458
00:41:06,145.9616814 --> 00:41:07,985.9616814
Or, like, with kids.

459
00:41:08,295.9616814 --> 00:41:10,435.9616814
So I haven't, like Been to Vegas.

460
00:41:11,245.9616814 --> 00:41:11,535.9616814
Yeah.

461
00:41:11,655.9616814 --> 00:41:19,965.9616814
Right? Um, but I've been road tripping with one of the other, um, contestants.

462
00:41:20,665.9616814 --> 00:41:20,965.9616814
Yeah.

463
00:41:21,95.9606814 --> 00:41:23,605.9606814
We're riding down together and we're staying at the Westgate.

464
00:41:24,100.9616814 --> 00:41:26,680.9616814
And we're going for all the Mrs.

465
00:41:26,680.9616814 --> 00:41:29,700.9616814
Utah, America, not Utah, but Mrs.

466
00:41:29,720.9616814 --> 00:41:30,870.9616814
America, Mrs.

467
00:41:30,930.9616814 --> 00:41:35,80.9606814
American, and Miss for America Strong.

468
00:41:35,570.9616814 --> 00:41:36,220.9606814
Oh, cool.

469
00:41:37,210.9616814 --> 00:41:47,635.9616814
So we're going on to like, support our fellow SASH sisters, but we're going to like, She was just messaging me and she's like, what show should we go to and stuff? I don't know what to do.

470
00:41:47,665.9616814 --> 00:41:48,525.9616814
I don't know anything.

471
00:41:48,575.9616814 --> 00:42:00,345.9616814
She said she doesn't eat there and it's great for food and I've done some food there, but like when you're pregnant, right? Vegas as a Vegas connoisseur.

472
00:42:00,355.9616814 --> 00:42:05,135.9606814
So we go down there all the time because both my husband and I, we do competitive billiards.

473
00:42:05,830.9616814 --> 00:42:08,130.9616814
Yeah, so we're down there all the time.

474
00:42:08,640.9616814 --> 00:42:12,660.8616814
Um, so the West Gate's awesome.

475
00:42:12,660.9616814 --> 00:42:14,420.9616814
Um, the Rio's also awesome.

476
00:42:14,780.9616814 --> 00:42:19,560.9616814
If you want to splurge, Treasure Island has the best steakhouse ever.

477
00:42:19,580.9606814 --> 00:42:21,710.9606814
Cause we've done Gordon Ramsay's, we've done a ton.

478
00:42:21,720.9616814 --> 00:42:24,320.9606814
There's a little tiny steakhouse, it's a hole in the wall.

479
00:42:24,700.9606814 --> 00:42:27,150.9606814
It's at Treasure Island, and it's awesome.

480
00:42:27,470.9616814 --> 00:42:30,490.9616814
It is by far the most amazing steak I've ever had in Vegas.

481
00:42:30,820.9616814 --> 00:42:31,350.9616814
Period.

482
00:42:31,450.9616814 --> 00:42:32,30.9616814
Hands down.

483
00:42:32,420.9616814 --> 00:42:33,690.9616814
Little, little pricey.

484
00:42:33,770.9616814 --> 00:42:34,890.9616814
Worth, worth it.

485
00:42:35,260.9616814 --> 00:42:40,890.9611814
They, like, bring out the Caesar salad as, like, a thing of lettuce with the Caesar dressing on it with, like, an anchovy on top.

486
00:42:40,890.9611814 --> 00:42:45,280.9606814
So I just did it, like, sans anchovy, but, like, it was super fancy.

487
00:42:45,281.0606814 --> 00:42:49,500.9616814
Um, like, Fremont Street.

488
00:42:49,765.9616814 --> 00:42:54,895.9616814
is amazing because they have bands just playing and DJs playing.

489
00:42:54,895.9616814 --> 00:42:57,945.9616814
So we, it was like, I have to send you the video.

490
00:42:57,955.9616814 --> 00:43:02,915.9616814
It was like, like 90s, early 2000s music played by this band.

491
00:43:02,925.9606814 --> 00:43:04,535.9606814
And her voice was incredible.

492
00:43:04,555.9616814 --> 00:43:07,425.9616814
And we just were like dancing the whole night.

493
00:43:08,190.9616814 --> 00:43:08,900.9616814
This is awesome.

494
00:43:09,510.9616814 --> 00:43:17,970.9616814
Um, if you like sugary alcoholic beverages, the Big D has nothing but Slurpees that are alcoholic.

495
00:43:18,130.9616814 --> 00:43:28,880.9606814
I've watched my husband drink those because he would go to Vegas for conferences all the time and he would leave me behind and he would always drink them and then we go and we have to be responsible.

496
00:43:29,580.9606814 --> 00:43:32,10.9606814
Yeah, so I can only drink like half of one.

497
00:43:32,70.9606814 --> 00:43:34,40.9616814
They are very, very sweet.

498
00:43:34,360.9616814 --> 00:43:35,160.9616814
But they're delicious.

499
00:43:35,580.9616814 --> 00:43:36,220.9616814
Share one.

500
00:43:36,700.9616814 --> 00:43:44,700.9616814
Okay, so the person I'm writing down with, she actually is, um, she's like the first runner up.

501
00:43:45,770.9616814 --> 00:43:46,500.9616814
Oh, so exciting.

502
00:43:46,790.9606814 --> 00:43:50,710.9616814
And she was on Chopped.

503
00:43:50,720.9616814 --> 00:43:52,50.9616814
Oh, wow.

504
00:43:53,560.9606814 --> 00:43:56,790.9616814
She's a, yeah, she's really cool.

505
00:43:56,800.9606814 --> 00:43:58,410.9616814
She has a really cool story too.

506
00:43:58,500.9616814 --> 00:44:04,220.8616814
So I'm really excited because like, I get to be trapped in a car with her all the way down the pages.

507
00:44:04,220.9616814 --> 00:44:05,430.9616814
Just teach me all the things.

508
00:44:05,450.9616814 --> 00:44:07,470.9616814
Tell me about you and your amazingness.

509
00:44:07,830.9616814 --> 00:44:09,910.9616814
I want to know everything.

510
00:44:09,970.9616814 --> 00:44:19,650.9611814
So I'm really excited because I don't like, I'm making new friends and I feel more sure of myself.

511
00:44:19,650.9611814 --> 00:44:28,300.9616814
So I'm more able to like find people that vibe with me because I know what my vibe is and I'm not trying to be someone else's vibe.

512
00:44:28,850.9616814 --> 00:44:29,250.9616814
Right.

513
00:44:29,720.9616814 --> 00:44:30,100.9616814
No.

514
00:44:30,300.9616814 --> 00:44:33,340.9616814
And if you guys get a chance, do Pizza Rock.

515
00:44:33,500.9616814 --> 00:44:43,550.9616814
Pizza Rock is over by Fremont Street and it's, their menus are like the old school records And they have the most amazing garlic green beans.

516
00:44:43,660.9616814 --> 00:44:45,790.9616814
Their meatballs are to die for.

517
00:44:46,150.9616814 --> 00:44:47,720.9616814
The pizzas are delicious.

518
00:44:48,130.9606814 --> 00:44:51,30.9606814
She's like, Oh my gosh, it's so yummy.

519
00:44:51,220.9616814 --> 00:44:58,370.9616814
I'm going to text you while I'm down there and be like, where should we go for breakfast? I love the buffets.

520
00:44:58,610.9616814 --> 00:45:04,880.9616814
Just saying like, I have eaten cause I've stayed there and I've gone to the Bellagio and I've eaten.

521
00:45:06,90.9616814 --> 00:45:09,300.9616814
At the Bellagio because I was like, don't make me walk.

522
00:45:09,300.9616814 --> 00:45:09,860.9616814
I'm pregnant.

523
00:45:10,690.9616814 --> 00:45:10,920.9616814
Yeah.

524
00:45:10,920.9616814 --> 00:45:12,530.9616814
They had really, really yummy food.

525
00:45:12,690.9616814 --> 00:45:13,880.9616814
I think I had their toast.

526
00:45:14,700.9616814 --> 00:45:14,960.9616814
Yeah.

527
00:45:15,380.9616814 --> 00:45:21,840.9616814
I need to, I need to go to shows and I need to like eat the things I heard.

528
00:45:21,840.9616814 --> 00:45:23,50.9616814
It's a foodie paradise.

529
00:45:23,80.9616814 --> 00:45:23,740.9606814
So I'm excited.

530
00:45:24,360.9616814 --> 00:45:25,950.9616814
Yes, and the shows are amazing.

531
00:45:25,950.9616814 --> 00:45:30,920.9616814
We've made it a tradition to try and see at least one Cirque de Soleil show when we're down there.

532
00:45:31,570.9616814 --> 00:45:39,920.9616814
So, Mystere is really funny, um, and that's the one that's at Treasure Island, and it's actually really good.

533
00:45:40,290.9606814 --> 00:45:48,975.9616814
Um, I've seen It's got like a big gigantic bird, and it, the storyline doesn't necessarily make sense, but it's, it's still good.

534
00:45:49,195.9616814 --> 00:45:51,595.9616814
Um, Ka is really good.

535
00:45:51,615.9616814 --> 00:45:54,575.9616814
It's like a, and that one's at the MGM, I think.

536
00:45:54,615.9616814 --> 00:45:58,265.9616814
It's a story plotline about war.

537
00:45:58,830.9616814 --> 00:45:59,900.9616814
And they're amazing.

538
00:46:00,380.9616814 --> 00:46:07,10.9616814
Um, the one at the Bellagio is O, and that is a big pool of water.

539
00:46:07,280.9616814 --> 00:46:12,970.9606814
And they're doing all this acrobatic stuff and diving into this pool of water, and it was amazing.

540
00:46:13,120.9616814 --> 00:46:15,520.9616814
Like, holy Hannah, amazing.

541
00:46:16,190.9616814 --> 00:46:16,370.9606814
I'm excited.

542
00:46:16,780.9616814 --> 00:46:18,580.9616814
Oh, those were really good.

543
00:46:18,710.9616814 --> 00:46:20,820.9616814
I haven't seen Mad Apple yet.

544
00:46:20,930.9616814 --> 00:46:22,320.9616814
That one's at New York, New York.

545
00:46:22,330.9616814 --> 00:46:23,600.9616814
I haven't seen that one yet.

546
00:46:25,445.9616814 --> 00:46:27,55.9616814
That one looks good though.

547
00:46:27,505.9616814 --> 00:46:33,625.9616814
The Zootopia one or whatever it is that they had, I don't think they are showing it anymore.

548
00:46:33,626.0616814 --> 00:46:35,695.9616814
I think that one just finished.

549
00:46:35,695.9616814 --> 00:46:36,565.9616814
It's running its course.

550
00:46:36,915.9616814 --> 00:46:42,195.9606814
I did find out Celine Dion is coming back for a residency in Vegas.

551
00:46:42,635.9616814 --> 00:46:46,475.9616814
Oh my goodness! Her voice is okay enough that she's coming back.

552
00:46:46,525.9616814 --> 00:46:49,255.9616814
And so I'm like I need to go see her.

553
00:46:50,395.9616814 --> 00:46:51,35.9616814
I want to make a trip.

554
00:46:51,36.0616814 --> 00:47:06,475.9616814
There is so much that I feel like I missed out on because like Growing up, there was a lot of music and a lot of books and a lot of movies that I just wasn't allowed to read, or watch, or listen to.

555
00:47:06,475.9616814 --> 00:47:09,275.9616814
Or you'd try to borrow them from the library and your parents would throw them away.

556
00:47:11,5.9606814 --> 00:47:16,925.9616814
And you're like, it's a library book! What is this? I feel like Matilda right now! Yeah.

557
00:47:16,926.0616814 --> 00:47:18,545.8616814
Eww.

558
00:47:18,625.9616814 --> 00:47:21,335.9616814
No, it just, it's weird.

559
00:47:21,670.9616814 --> 00:47:42,110.9606814
And I felt very much like an outcast, like all through high school, I felt very much like nobody really liked me and nobody really wanted to like be my friend or that like the girls that were my friend in high school were probably not really actually my friend because there was just so much drama all the time.

560
00:47:42,110.9616814 --> 00:47:53,865.9616814
I couldn't tell who was genuine or like, What they were saying behind my back, but like the bomber, we didn't know each other in high school.

561
00:47:53,915.9616814 --> 00:47:54,155.9616814
Yeah.

562
00:47:54,155.9616814 --> 00:47:55,635.9616814
I think you went to a different high school.

563
00:47:55,655.9616814 --> 00:47:59,535.9616814
Cause like I was, I was always hanging out with, yeah, it was a bit what's cross.

564
00:48:00,210.9616814 --> 00:48:08,100.9616814
So I was with, you know, Ariel and my friend Jenny, and we usually had like the gothics and the gay kids hanging out.

565
00:48:08,570.9616814 --> 00:48:16,40.9616814
And that's kind of was our group and funny enough, my sister actually married one of the kids that graduated the same year as me.

566
00:48:16,320.9606814 --> 00:48:25,10.9616814
And we've had some really enlightening conversations where it was interesting how oblivious I was to how people viewed me.

567
00:48:25,910.9616814 --> 00:48:33,20.9616814
Um, where there was a lot of people that, um, liked who I was, but because of who I was friends with, they wouldn't talk to me.

568
00:48:33,900.9616814 --> 00:48:34,440.9616814
Oh.

569
00:48:34,970.9616814 --> 00:48:37,520.9616814
And so I was like, Oh, okay.

570
00:48:37,670.9606814 --> 00:48:38,380.9606814
Interesting.

571
00:48:38,390.9616814 --> 00:48:40,990.9606814
Whereas my parents always called me the queen of the nerds.

572
00:48:42,250.9616814 --> 00:48:54,110.8616814
But I was like, you know, president of the FFA, so I'd show up in like, cowboy hats and my FFA jacket and my cowgirl hat and, you know, like, Cause we had, I grew up on a farm, you know, like, that was me.

573
00:48:54,110.9616814 --> 00:49:03,790.9616814
And then I moved to Lehigh our senior year and that is total cowboy town and I've never felt more out of place there ever.

574
00:49:04,370.9616814 --> 00:49:10,40.9616814
Like, I tried to get into the circles that I was already in up at Woods Cross and it was like, no.

575
00:49:10,410.9616814 --> 00:49:15,250.9616814
Like, the rodeo kids were, you were either in or you were out, and I was not in.

576
00:49:15,730.9616814 --> 00:49:16,190.9616814
Oh.

577
00:49:16,220.9616814 --> 00:49:26,140.9606814
And that was hard, so, but it ended up being good, because I ended up doing, like, peer leadership groups and debate, and I ended up having a really good time.

578
00:49:27,130.9616814 --> 00:49:27,600.9616814
Still.

579
00:49:27,610.9616814 --> 00:49:43,250.9616814
So it was like, yeah, that was something crazy that happened to, um, a few years after high school, I like three, three years after high school, I found out that the guy that I dated in high school had been arrested for.

580
00:49:43,560.9616814 --> 00:49:55,850.9606814
Um, having women or child porn and videos of like women being bondaged and like raped and stuff on his computer.

581
00:49:55,851.0606814 --> 00:50:06,180.9616814
And I got contacted by the police department because when I dated him, I was 17, so they had to go through and see if there were videos or pictures of me on his computer.

582
00:50:06,670.9616814 --> 00:50:09,210.9616814
Oh my gosh.

583
00:50:10,30.9616814 --> 00:50:11,850.9616814
I like, I've never.

584
00:50:12,230.9616814 --> 00:50:24,570.9616814
Been in a situation where I was physically sick, but I walked out of my office because one of my friends called me while I was at work and sent me the link and I walked out and I threw up.

585
00:50:25,170.9616814 --> 00:50:28,100.9606814
I was, I've never been more physically sick in my life.

586
00:50:28,390.9616814 --> 00:50:31,830.9626814
Oh my gosh, how terrifying.

587
00:50:32,140.9606814 --> 00:50:36,290.9606814
Thankfully, like, they came back and said, Kay, thank you for the cooperation.

588
00:50:36,290.9606814 --> 00:50:40,865.9616814
Like, you know, you were not found on So I was like, thank you.

589
00:50:42,245.9616814 --> 00:50:42,995.9616814
Thank goodness.

590
00:50:43,35.9616814 --> 00:50:53,905.9616814
But like, I have actually two, two stories to kind of go along with this, but mine aren't as scary as yours.

591
00:50:53,915.9616814 --> 00:50:54,945.9616814
How terrifying.

592
00:50:55,805.9616814 --> 00:50:58,855.9616814
Oh, one of them was, so I dated a guy.

593
00:50:59,155.9616814 --> 00:51:05,445.9616814
Before I moved to Florida and before I had Teagan and he was a comedian and he was a photographer.

594
00:51:06,695.9616814 --> 00:51:10,555.9606814
Um, you know, he wants to be a photographer.

595
00:51:11,325.9616814 --> 00:51:12,555.9616814
He wasn't that funny.

596
00:51:14,15.9616814 --> 00:51:17,975.9616814
Anyway, do you remember me talking about this? I do.

597
00:51:18,5.9616814 --> 00:51:18,745.9606814
I remember this.

598
00:51:18,745.9606814 --> 00:51:24,25.8616814
And then I came back, I came back from Florida and I like already had Teagan.

599
00:51:24,25.9616814 --> 00:51:26,255.9616814
Teagan was a little itty bitty baby.

600
00:51:26,605.9616814 --> 00:51:31,985.9616814
And I have the news on and I see his face and he's arrested for child porn.

601
00:51:34,10.9616814 --> 00:51:39,830.9616814
And then, um, I did Barbizon modeling school a million years ago.

602
00:51:40,210.9616814 --> 00:51:41,0.9616814
I remember them.

603
00:51:41,710.9616814 --> 00:51:46,890.9616814
And like from the back of the catalog or whatever, and it was just down at the Salt Palace.

604
00:51:47,40.9616814 --> 00:51:55,480.9616814
And afterwards, there was this guy that worked for a production company and he was doing like a kid's television series.

605
00:51:56,195.9616814 --> 00:52:20,275.9616814
Where I got to go to the Olympics, actually, and like, I hung out with Alex Boyer, I got to do all this really cool stuff, um, and this, and then I was like 17 the last time I see this guy, and he wants to do a photoshoot with me, and I'm changing in the other room and he keeps like peeking his camera in and taking pictures.

606
00:52:22,120.9616814 --> 00:52:32,720.9616814
While I'm changing, and I kept asking him to stop, and he wouldn't stop, and so I left, and I sent him a text, and I was like, I never want to work with you again.

607
00:52:32,750.9616814 --> 00:52:42,220.9616814
I was 17, and he kept asking me, well, you're almost 18, right? You're almost 18, and I was like, yeah, I'm almost 18, but I asked you not to do that.

608
00:52:42,850.9616814 --> 00:52:43,910.9606814
Yeah, respect my boundaries.

609
00:52:44,485.9616814 --> 00:52:48,655.9616814
Delete every single photo you took of me and I never want to talk to you again.

610
00:52:49,645.9616814 --> 00:52:58,935.9606814
He was arrested like a few years later for sexually assaulting women and trying to tell them like that's how he was going to make them famous.

611
00:53:00,170.9616814 --> 00:53:27,30.9616814
Yeah, that was one of the scary things with the Bombers was we worked with so many different photographers that there was one that, and these are unsubstantiated, like we never was able to prove, but there was, oh, hi, I get bloopers, oh, oh, she's trying to eat my computer cable.

612
00:53:27,411.0616814 --> 00:53:27,430.8616814
Of course.

613
00:53:27,430.9616814 --> 00:53:27,870.9616814
There we go.

614
00:53:28,530.9616814 --> 00:53:28,790.9616814
Continue.

615
00:53:28,791.0616814 --> 00:53:44,440.9616814
Yeah, there was a photographer that we worked with all the time and I had a lot of girls About him where they felt like, yeah, you remember him? And, uh, I think ultimately we did confront him about it and he of course denied everything.

616
00:53:45,60.9606814 --> 00:53:50,660.9616814
But it was like, okay, but at the end of the day, like, this is how you're making multiple of my girls feel.

617
00:53:51,140.9606814 --> 00:53:52,190.9616814
And that's not okay.

618
00:53:52,190.9616814 --> 00:53:53,30.9626814
That's not safe.

619
00:53:53,320.9616814 --> 00:53:55,540.9616814
And, yeah.

620
00:53:56,490.9616814 --> 00:54:04,200.9616814
Well, there was like, for some reason, we were just like things, right? Yeah.

621
00:54:05,605.9616814 --> 00:54:11,875.9616814
And you could like do whatever or say whatever cause it didn't matter.

622
00:54:12,765.9616814 --> 00:54:14,985.9616814
Well, and I think too, it depends.

623
00:54:15,185.9616814 --> 00:54:24,55.9606814
I mean, when you're working with women, um, cause when I had worked with the certain people, I didn't have an issue, but I came in very strong, very confident.

624
00:54:24,575.9606814 --> 00:54:28,405.9616814
I, they always asked before they did anything like, Hey, I'm going to adjust this.

625
00:54:28,415.9616814 --> 00:54:33,795.9616814
Is this okay? Am I all right touching here? Are you all right with this? Like, I just want to fix this real quick.

626
00:54:34,185.9616814 --> 00:54:34,465.9616814
Okay.

627
00:54:34,495.9616814 --> 00:54:34,845.9616814
Awesome.

628
00:54:34,845.9616814 --> 00:54:38,585.9616814
And for the most part, I felt super safe with every single one of them.

629
00:54:38,605.9616814 --> 00:54:44,405.9616814
And there's still some like, you know, Paul and Preston that I would work with today.

630
00:54:44,835.9616814 --> 00:54:48,225.9616814
Um, you know, like I, I love them.

631
00:54:48,655.9616814 --> 00:55:02,360.9616814
And, um, but some of these other ones, like, it wasn't until I heard other stories that it's like, I wonder if it's like, They, you show a little bit of doubt or you show a little bit of like, Oh, I don't know.

632
00:55:02,390.9616814 --> 00:55:04,640.9616814
And it's like, they start to take advantage of it.

633
00:55:04,820.9616814 --> 00:55:09,420.9606814
As soon as you are not strong, confident, you might be insecure a little bit.

634
00:55:10,150.9616814 --> 00:55:18,730.9616814
It was like, it felt like they were instantly attaching to that and then seeing what, what kind of boundaries they could push when it's like, no.

635
00:55:19,530.9616814 --> 00:55:24,100.9616814
Yeah, any kind of insecurity or like weakness.

636
00:55:25,980.9616814 --> 00:55:26,330.9616814
Yeah.

637
00:55:26,331.0616814 --> 00:55:31,270.9616814
It's wiggle right in, but it was like, it definitely isn't like that with everybody.

638
00:55:31,280.9606814 --> 00:55:34,990.9606814
And it's hard to be assertive.

639
00:55:35,350.9616814 --> 00:55:39,230.9616814
Like, I look back and there's a lot more times where I could have been like, Nope.

640
00:55:39,230.9616814 --> 00:55:40,150.9616814
I don't want to do that.

641
00:55:40,840.9616814 --> 00:55:41,160.9616814
Yeah.

642
00:55:41,161.0616814 --> 00:55:47,260.9616814
I remember getting asked by a ton of women, like, Hey, I want to do photoshoots.

643
00:55:47,260.9616814 --> 00:55:54,470.9616814
Who should I go to? You know, and many of them at this point, you know, I send over to Preston because it's like, I trust him completely.

644
00:55:55,40.9606814 --> 00:55:56,480.9606814
He's a wonderful man.

645
00:55:56,490.9616814 --> 00:55:57,870.9616814
He's very respectful.

646
00:55:58,140.9616814 --> 00:56:04,490.9616814
Like, you know, and that he's just enjoying retirement now, you know, his, his wife passed not too long ago.

647
00:56:04,490.9616814 --> 00:56:14,765.9616814
And so he's just, you know, Enjoying life now, you know, as best as he can, you know, with trips and photo shoots and hanging out with his grandkids.

648
00:56:14,765.9616814 --> 00:56:16,915.9616814
And that's hard.

649
00:56:17,815.9616814 --> 00:56:18,955.9616814
Oh, my heart hurt for him.

650
00:56:18,965.9606814 --> 00:56:22,415.9616814
He's such an amazing person and such an amazing person.

651
00:56:22,435.9606814 --> 00:56:23,75.9616814
Paul too.

652
00:56:23,425.9616814 --> 00:56:31,855.9616814
Paul was in a motorcycle accident, um, a couple of years back and was in a coma for a really long time.

653
00:56:32,265.9616814 --> 00:56:36,165.9616814
And thank God for his life because she was so strong.

654
00:56:37,550.9616814 --> 00:56:45,430.9616814
And she stood by his side the whole time and they kept asking her questions and she kept telling him, no, like, he's going to come back.

655
00:56:45,440.9616814 --> 00:56:46,640.9616814
He's going to come back.

656
00:56:47,380.9616814 --> 00:56:48,10.9616814
And he did.

657
00:56:48,270.9606814 --> 00:57:02,120.9616814
And he even came to my reception when I married my current husband, they came and I like, he's healing, but I love seeing that they're living life to the fullest and they're out doing things.

658
00:57:02,120.9616814 --> 00:57:05,260.9616814
And I'm so grateful for her.

659
00:57:07,140.9616814 --> 00:57:10,610.9616814
Don't they just, like, take the bike and go? Yeah.

660
00:57:11,30.9616814 --> 00:57:13,790.9616814
And cars and whatever else it is that they want to do.

661
00:57:13,791.0616814 --> 00:57:17,160.9606814
I think I ran into him at Arctic Circle one time.

662
00:57:18,255.9616815 --> 00:57:21,355.9616815
And he recognized me, but I didn't recognize him immediately.

663
00:57:21,355.9616815 --> 00:57:26,115.9616815
But then I was like, Oh yeah, he's such a sweetheart.

664
00:57:26,115.9616815 --> 00:57:27,405.9616815
I love him so much.

665
00:57:27,545.9616815 --> 00:57:33,715.9616815
I'm so grateful that we've had a lot of really incredible people.

666
00:57:34,285.9616815 --> 00:57:38,245.9606815
We really have 20 years.

667
00:57:38,295.9616815 --> 00:57:42,980.8616815
What the heck? Blows my mind.

668
00:57:44,110.9616815 --> 00:57:46,280.9616815
Just how much has changed in that amount of time.

669
00:57:47,80.9616815 --> 00:57:57,530.9606815
Well, and it's not like, it seems like big dramatic change, but when you look over it, it really has taken place over time, right? Yeah.

670
00:57:59,790.9606815 --> 00:58:00,60.9606815
Yeah.

671
00:58:00,170.9606815 --> 00:58:02,30.9616815
I am so glad I'm not who I was.

672
00:58:02,160.9606815 --> 00:58:06,110.9606815
Like if I, if I knew then what I know now, meh meh meh.

673
00:58:06,191.0616815 --> 00:58:18,780.9616815
People say it all the time, but like, no, really, there's a lot of situations that I wouldn't have put myself in, but like, I just needed people.

674
00:58:21,590.9606815 --> 00:58:25,0.9616815
No, I'm definitely grateful we had the tribe that we had.

675
00:58:27,190.9606815 --> 00:58:28,720.9606815
Me too, it really took a village.

676
00:58:29,300.9606815 --> 00:58:30,220.9606815
I'm proud of you.

677
00:58:31,590.9606815 --> 00:58:32,540.9616815
I'm proud of you.

678
00:58:33,910.9616815 --> 00:58:34,940.9616815
Doing incredible things.

679
00:58:34,940.9616815 --> 00:58:37,880.9616815
I would never imagine being able to do some of the stuff that you've done.

680
00:58:37,980.9616815 --> 00:58:44,460.9616815
And like, I've always like, that, that is an angry kitty.

681
00:58:49,540.9616815 --> 00:58:55,620.9616815
Is he telling you off or is he telling somebody else off? Their, their little kitty's having a disagreement.

682
00:58:56,460.9606815 --> 00:58:57,60.9606815
Apparently.

683
00:58:57,500.9616815 --> 00:58:58,910.9616815
Someone has a very strong opinion.

684
00:58:59,700.9616815 --> 00:59:00,490.9616815
That's David.

685
00:59:01,115.9616815 --> 00:59:03,565.9616815
Like, let's use your inner voice, sweet girl.

686
00:59:04,635.9616815 --> 00:59:05,735.9616815
She doesn't know what that is.

687
00:59:05,736.0616815 --> 00:59:09,475.8616815
Yeah, yeah.

688
00:59:10,35.9616815 --> 00:59:12,945.9616815
We accidentally pooped all over her siblings in the crate the other day.

689
00:59:14,645.9616815 --> 00:59:19,985.9616815
So the whole time I'm like bathing her, she was at an event and didn't want to poop.

690
00:59:20,885.9616815 --> 00:59:21,395.9616815
Oh.

691
00:59:22,305.9606815 --> 00:59:23,205.9626815
In the thingy.

692
00:59:23,305.9606815 --> 00:59:25,815.9606815
And on the drive home, she was trying to hold it.

693
00:59:26,965.9606815 --> 00:59:30,785.9616815
She's like, She couldn't hold it.

694
00:59:31,235.9616815 --> 00:59:31,805.9616815
Yeah.

695
00:59:32,145.9616815 --> 00:59:33,695.9616815
She's like, I'm trying.

696
00:59:34,255.9616815 --> 00:59:35,15.9616815
I'm trying so hard.

697
00:59:35,15.9616815 --> 00:59:36,705.9616815
She pooped all over her siblings.

698
00:59:36,715.9606815 --> 00:59:40,705.9616815
So I'm giving all of them baths and the whole time I'm like, Ew, David.

699
00:59:40,775.9616815 --> 00:59:41,485.9616815
Ew.

700
00:59:44,375.9616815 --> 00:59:45,385.9616815
They're like, sorry.

701
00:59:46,195.9616815 --> 00:59:46,935.9616815
Sorry.

702
00:59:46,975.9616815 --> 00:59:48,485.9616815
It was really awful.

703
00:59:49,535.9616815 --> 00:59:51,5.9616815
No, we've come a long way.

704
00:59:51,5.9616815 --> 00:59:56,85.9616815
There's been like, there's stuff that I didn't think I would ever do that I'm doing.

705
00:59:56,815.9616815 --> 00:59:56,975.9616815
No.

706
00:59:56,976.0616815 --> 00:59:59,165.8616815
It's weird.

707
00:59:59,625.9616815 --> 01:00:04,335.9616815
And like, you know, you had all those cute babies, and They're all grown up.

708
01:00:04,385.9606815 --> 01:00:07,235.9616815
Getting your master's degree, and Awesome.

709
01:00:08,815.9606815 --> 01:00:09,895.9606815
That was incredible.

710
01:00:09,925.9616815 --> 01:00:13,645.9616815
And then seeing all your pageant stuff, like, That's awesome.

711
01:00:13,705.9616815 --> 01:00:16,193.4616815
I remember, I remember going to your wedding with Leigh.

712
01:00:16,193.4616815 --> 01:00:16,450.8616815
Thanks.

713
01:00:16,610.9616815 --> 01:00:19,660.9616815
And was just like, Oh, it's like a fairytale.

714
01:00:20,310.9616815 --> 01:00:20,530.9616815
Yeah.

715
01:00:20,650.9616815 --> 01:00:23,20.9616815
I was thinking about that as I was coming downstairs.

716
01:00:23,20.9616815 --> 01:00:28,890.9616815
Cause they were actually like, I didn't have very many friends that showed up for me on my wedding day.

717
01:00:28,950.9606815 --> 01:00:31,490.9616815
And you were there and that meant a lot to me.

718
01:00:32,480.9616815 --> 01:00:33,120.9616815
I felt bad.

719
01:00:33,120.9616815 --> 01:00:35,280.9606815
Like I wanted to be there more.

720
01:00:35,410.9616815 --> 01:00:38,560.9616815
And I just made it a point that I was like, no, I'm carding out this time.

721
01:00:38,600.9616815 --> 01:00:39,720.9616815
I need to go see her.

722
01:00:39,750.9616815 --> 01:00:42,150.9616815
Cause I think I had met him like once before.

723
01:00:42,660.9616815 --> 01:00:43,70.9616815
Yeah.

724
01:00:43,130.9616815 --> 01:00:51,865.9616815
Um, And it was when you were in the apartment and all that stuff happened.

725
01:00:52,445.9616815 --> 01:00:55,675.9616815
And I remember when you were like, yep, we're going to do it.

726
01:00:55,685.9616815 --> 01:00:56,785.9616815
We're going to make this happen.

727
01:00:56,835.9616815 --> 01:01:03,655.9606815
And I was like, Oh, I know it happened really quick.

728
01:01:04,5.9606815 --> 01:01:05,515.9616815
So I don't know.

729
01:01:05,516.0616815 --> 01:01:06,915.9616815
I'm just really thankful for you.

730
01:01:06,945.9616815 --> 01:01:08,595.9616815
Cause you've really been there for me a lot.

731
01:01:08,745.9616815 --> 01:01:11,345.9616815
And I don't know.

732
01:01:11,345.9616815 --> 01:01:13,155.8616815
I've just watched how you've shown up for everything.

733
01:01:13,705.9616815 --> 01:01:23,745.9616815
All these other people, and I'm watching how you're showing up for yourself, and you're doing a really good job taking care of yourself, and taking care of everybody.

734
01:01:23,755.9616815 --> 01:01:24,855.9606815
You're doing all the things.

735
01:01:26,55.9616815 --> 01:01:26,945.9616815
Definitely trying.

736
01:01:26,945.9616815 --> 01:01:27,885.9616815
It's difficult for me.

737
01:01:27,885.9616815 --> 01:01:30,285.9606815
I'm not used to putting myself first at all.

738
01:01:30,535.9616815 --> 01:01:36,85.9616815
And so, you know, just taking the time for me, and learning to say no.

739
01:01:36,545.9616815 --> 01:01:41,265.9616815
Um, it's like, uh, I got this the other day from Mary Kate and Ashley Olson and their sister.

740
01:01:41,265.9616815 --> 01:01:44,115.9616815
I don't remember where she plays the Scarlet Witch.

741
01:01:44,575.9616815 --> 01:01:44,755.9616815
Yeah.

742
01:01:46,665.9616815 --> 01:01:47,25.9616815
Yeah.

743
01:01:47,25.9616815 --> 01:01:53,375.9616815
That their dad says no is a full sentence and that you can absolutely just say no and it's okay.

744
01:01:53,905.9606815 --> 01:02:01,765.9616815
And it was ironic because, um, we were having a conversation and my husband told my daughter the same thing.

745
01:02:01,775.9616815 --> 01:02:04,905.9611815
He's like, you can just say no, that that's a full sentence.

746
01:02:04,905.9611815 --> 01:02:05,955.9606815
Like, no.

747
01:02:06,765.9616815 --> 01:02:08,405.9616815
You don't need to explain yourself.

748
01:02:08,695.9616815 --> 01:02:08,985.9616815
Yeah.

749
01:02:09,15.9616815 --> 01:02:09,315.9616815
Nope.

750
01:02:09,515.9616815 --> 01:02:10,795.9616815
Like, you can just say, no.

751
01:02:12,205.9616815 --> 01:02:13,75.9616815
And that's that.

752
01:02:14,305.9616815 --> 01:02:15,595.9616815
I was like, yes.

753
01:02:15,675.9616815 --> 01:02:17,525.9606815
That is not something that we were taught.

754
01:02:18,95.9616815 --> 01:02:18,465.9616815
No.

755
01:02:19,725.9616815 --> 01:02:22,685.9616815
I always felt like I had to give some kind of excuse or explanation.

756
01:02:23,105.9616815 --> 01:02:24,615.9616815
Yeah, there had to be a reason.

757
01:02:25,45.9606815 --> 01:02:27,305.9606815
And if I didn't have a reason, then I had to say yes.

758
01:02:27,845.9616815 --> 01:02:29,105.9616815
Right? Yeah.

759
01:02:30,805.9616815 --> 01:02:32,255.9616815
So, wow, that's huge.

760
01:02:33,55.9616815 --> 01:02:34,385.9616815
That's a hard thing to learn.

761
01:02:34,415.9616815 --> 01:02:35,675.9616815
I know you've got to go.

762
01:02:35,705.9616815 --> 01:02:36,155.9616815
I know.

763
01:02:36,185.9616815 --> 01:02:36,934.3283481
I'm like, ah.

764
01:02:36,934.3283481 --> 01:02:37,390.8616815
All right.

765
01:02:37,710.9616815 --> 01:02:39,740.9616815
It's been so nice to catch up with you.

766
01:02:40,400.9616815 --> 01:02:44,250.9616815
I appreciate you so much and I'm just really, really proud of you.

767
01:02:44,540.9616815 --> 01:02:47,600.9616815
So I'm, I'm excited for you and these podcasts.

768
01:02:47,640.9616815 --> 01:02:53,280.9616815
I think they're gonna be amazing and you're, you're doing amazing.

769
01:02:53,820.9616815 --> 01:02:54,890.9616815
Oh, thank you.

770
01:02:55,940.9616815 --> 01:02:56,680.9616815
I'm trying.

771
01:02:57,670.9616815 --> 01:03:04,660.9616815
Well, if you've made it this far, friends and others, um, I appreciate you.

772
01:03:05,210.9616815 --> 01:03:06,640.9616815
Thank you for listening.

773
01:03:06,950.9616815 --> 01:03:11,730.9616815
You can find me at not so genius on Instagram, Heather.

774
01:03:12,650.9616815 --> 01:03:19,550.9616815
Thank you so much for taking a moment to hang out with me and talking to us about all these incredible things.

775
01:03:20,230.9616815 --> 01:03:24,940.9616815
Um, I want everyone to remember to take care of yourself because it's crazy out there.